My Parents

It all happened a long time ago, on Mount Olympus one day, the great god of all gods, Zues, sent his wife off to go do some arrens. While she was gone, Zues had a gigalo come over and for a while they had buttsecks....hehe. When his wife was coming home, she saw a man walk out of the palace. She knew she reconized him, he was the gigalo who banged her earlier. She went into the bedroom and saw Zues laying on the bed naked with a three foot dildo laying next to him. She was so mad that she killed him and after that killed herself.

Later that day, the gigalo got another call from someone named Mrs. Lawton. He went over to her house. At this time the gigalo still had Zues's magic seamen in him. The gigalo started to put on a condom but Mrs. Lawton took it off and said that she didn't like shrink wrap. In the middle of their intercourse, Mrs. Lawton ate a sandwich. As the gigalo jizzed, a crumb from the sandwich fell into the magic seamen. She found out later she was pregnant.

My Birth

Soon after that, Mrs. Lawton was giving bith to me. I remember coming flying out and I said sandwich. Mrs. Lawton said "Holy shit it talks." I repeated my word and she said "Thats not a sandwich honey." I also remember hearing a guy in my head from the other side of the hospital saying, boy I need a sandwich. So, I got up and started running through the hospital, my little penis flopping everywhere, looking for the man. I found him and made a sandwich. He ate the damn thing with one bite and pissed himself. He said "Oh my lord, this is the best thing I have ever eaten!"

My Childhood

Through my childhood, I found out more about my powers. And I would give out sandwiches to homeless people. I also found out that not only do my sandwiches taste good, but they make people have great shits. I did an experament, that I found out that most sandwiches make girls fart. I knew this from those big macs Mrs. Lawton use to eat. I found out that my sandwiches, dont evan give girls payne's. Mrs. Lawton got rid of me because she said I was a "freak". I curse her. Anyway, the best parents in the world took me under their wing, Mark and Robyn Lagowski.

As I started to grow up, I found out that I was the Sandwich God. People would start praying to me for good sandwiches. But this got me in trouble with the pope. The caught me and locked me up, for saying that I was a god. They locked me up and kept me on a sandwich free diet. But the did not know that I was thee Sandwich God. All I had to do was wiggle my penis and there was a sandwich. One day that fat bitch Rosie O'Donnel got me out of my prison. She came charging in like mad rhino and damn near nocked all the walls down. How she got me out was that she pushed me against her belly and I sunck into her fat. Nobody knew I was leaving. Once we got home she begged for a couple of quadrouple sized burgers. i said hell no, you need to lose some weight. The fat ugly bitch cussed me and ran....excuse me....walked away. I curse her.

Later on that day, I guess Rosie told Oprah about me. Oprah eats evan more than Rosie, since Oprah is nig....black, she can store food behind her big lips and save them fo her daily winter hibernation. So, Oprah came to me and started saying stupid shit that she lies about just like on her t.v. show. That fat bitch. I curse her.

Now

Now, I go to school with a lot of bitches and dickheads and rapests. I curse most of them. Some of them believe in the Sandwich God, some don't. And those who dont can go screw Oprah or Rosie up the ass. Anyway, I am always updating my site about me. And telling more and more people about myself.

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