- The Art of Rejection -

There have been a few times in my life when I can certainly say that I have been a master. I mean, the best. Grade A, premium quality, top-notch. Pure as gold. I have been so good that I impress everyone with my skills, even the ones I couldnít impress at all.

Those were the times I have been rejected. Or dismissed. Turned down. Rebuffed, rebuked, re.... not picked. The times where I was an option given to a special girl, and was not chosen. I would turn to shake the hand of the victor, but much more often than not, there is no one to shake. Nothing was chosen over me.

That is pretty remarkable, I would say.

In fact, Iíve honed my skills so well, mastered my craft to a tee, that I can be rejected even before the question or issue is even brought up. I have been dismissed in the time it takes to make eye-contact. I can be shot down in the matter of seconds. A trip to the mall can prove devastating sometimes.

Sometimes, when I actually care.

When Iím open to the world, and the world closes its doors.

When I can see the beauty thatís kept inside, but will not be let in any closer to.

Rejection only hurts when you think that the two of you should have been. That if weíre only given so many people that are meant to be with us, we canít take anyone for granted.

Weíre so desperate to not be lonely weíll be crushed like a trampled flower a hundred times if it means just one person stops and takes the time to look down, pick us up, and admire who we are.


Every other time, I just want to try. If this is life: the art of meeting, the art of evaluating, the art of rejection, then Iím well on my way to enlightenment, because Iím learning all sorts of ways our minds can tell us things. Like about people. We can love and hate the same person, at the same time. Doesnít that sound crazy? Doesnít that sound illogical? Because it is.

But it isnít so unusual. No one is actually surprised at that. Itís emotionally reasonable.

Clearly, conflicting sides.

What sort of creatures, then, are we, to have such divided issues and feelings so common in our lives? Other animals donít struggle as we do. There is no creature that, when hungry, says to itself, ďShould I or should I not eat this prey?Ē. Creatures of instinct can only be of one state of mind. Their present one. There is no conflict where there is no choice. To creatures of instinct, nothing is not a choice.

Maybe I should try to date creatures of instinct.

Maybe I should.

But, in keeping with the theme, the Art of Rejection is merely the art of unquantified, unneeded, superfluous thought. There is no need to consider. A choice is made at first scent. We should live by our wits again, and perhaps our instincts will return, sharpened and acute. All thought does is leave open the possibility of letting in someone who we do not want in. Instinct tells us yes or no. Let that be our guide to life.

Leave the higher thought to the animals who like to play games.

We canít love and hate the same person at the same time. Weíre only kidding ourselves. Weíre only considering all the possibilities.

Weíre merely disguising the truth from ourselves.

Instinct tells us the what is true, as we believe it to be.

That is the only truth we can really trust.

Leave your brain behind, leave it at the door.

Iíve had enough with possibilities today.

It is time to live by truths again.


By Don Bernal

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