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It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
Little Johnny asked his grandpa how old he was.
Grandpa answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
As mom was preparing pancakes for her sons, Johnny, 5, and Alex, 3, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
The mom saw the opportunity to teach a moral lesson. She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
Johnny quickly turned to his younger brother and said, "Okay, Alex, you be Jesus!"
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst.
"Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if he was still alive."
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered, "that he would climb the
walls if you came to visit."
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