Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes with the light goes out.

In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.

In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In an office:
After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.

Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything (please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work).