oh tripzy, could ya pweeeeeeeeeeeze send me a big pretty funnel cake? just stick it in a box an send it off? oh my goodness golly gee, that sounds SOO nummy, my mouth is all watering just *thinking* of all that oooey gooey sugary sticky sweet goodness........ if ya do i'll send ya some of my art i made today from jewish stuff and monkey-ness!! and the infomercial thingie ya said reminds me...I WANT A VACCUM SEALER!!! have ya seen that infomercial for the device that *schllllurps* all the air outta the bag ya keep your leftover food in so it's all airtight and won't get moldy? and they send ya a special container that ya can *schluuuuurp* the air outta too so that stuff stays all nice and air-tight? and i wuz thinking WOW that container would be awesome for keeping pot in, it'd stay all nice and moist and skunky, plus it'd be compressed so ya could just chip off a lil piece now and then.... but i guess it'd help if i smoked pot, eh? i used to smoke hella pot but i quit about....oh 6 months ago cuz i kinda burned myself out on it smokin waaaaay too much one summer...i don't really get high anymore (well i get high but not **HIGH** ya know), just kinda headachy and sleepy and hungry and out-of-it....now the only time i ever smoke pot is if it's reeeeeeeally kind buds and outta a water bong or some other such device cuz wake-n-bake bongloads are mAdD pHuN!!!!!! anyway.....i should prolly get back to remodeling my bsement....i'm makin it into my studio for my art-makin cuz when i make art i tend to get messy, and loud, and i usually make art at three in the morning so to be kind to everyone else in the house my studio is gonna be in the basement now BUT the people who used to own our house left a CRAPLOAD of nasty miscellaneous stuff in the basement, like 7 fake chritsmas trees and boxes of spilled laundry detergent and rusty old shelves and soccer balls and literally POUNDS of sheet music....i don't think these peeps ever cleaned once in their whole entire lives cuz there's cobwebs and dead bug corpses all over EVERYTHING....some of the crap they left is nifty but some of it is just oh my god nasty icky grody gross YUCK, and even the nifty stuff is dirty so not only do i hafta clean the basement but i hafta clean the stuff i'm gonna keep IN the basement too...............love ya guys!!!!! write me back bout the funnel cake okie tripzy??! ~*vOltAriNa*~ air::trees::water::animals peace::love::unity::respect www.atwa.com
*meow* leopards are nifty! i especially like pastel couloured leopard print.....it is soo beeeeeootyfull!
ergh i just popped on to check the board for a minute, i got done cleaning the basement and it's in the process of being transformed into my studio now...while i was sweeping the floor for the zillionth time i saw this....*THING*....it had a three-part torso like an ant but was much, MUCH bigger and had a zillion legs like a millipede and two loong front legs kinda like a cricket and also huuge eyeballs and iridescent green wings (that would've been kinda pretty but attatched to the rest of the monstrosity-bug-creature-thing they also looked horrid) and when it walked (or crept or skittered or whatever) each part of the torso moved semi-independantly creating a sort of *slithering* effect. egads i have no clue what it was, my boi said it might be some wierd mutant tropical bug that got caught in a jet stream and somehow managed to land in our basement and hid there for god knows how long with the sole intent of popping out and scaring the bloody bejeezus outta me at that particular second in time.....anywho when i saw it i went:
tripzy sweeit i wuz totally serious bout the funnel cake thingie!! ...though i too am not sure if i really want a funnel cake sent to me or if i'm just bein goofy due to the wonders of DXM but it sounded like quite a novel idea at the time, and now that i'm a bit less farked it still sounds damn good!!......i'm thinkin ya could just jam it in maybe a tupperware container or sumthin to send it, me n my boi will undoubtedly spend ecstatic minutes muching on it an smearin it on each other, and what dosen't get eaten will most likely end up on my artwok and the piece of art will most definately be dedicated to ya tripzy so sumday when i'm rich and famous tripzy and her funnel cakes will also be famous and forever immortalised.....it occurs to me i said "artwok" instead of "artwork" imagine agreat big chinese-food wok painted all crazily.... blarg i am sooooo freakin tired today, i slept frum like 11 last nite to like 5 minutes ago (like 3 o in the afternoon) which is extremely massively odd since i'm usually insomniac or at least nokturnal but oh what the hey, sleep wuz phun and i had dreams about bloo animal crackers from Mexico.....and now my thoughts are all groggily jumbled together odd but i can't help but wonder if Popples defecate? and if they do, what would popple poo look like? i'm pretty sure it'd be all rainbow swirly colors, prolly have sum glitter in it, and would most definately bounce...oh and everytime it bounced it'd say ""bleep! schnee? Bleep!" O.o ooookie i am definately waay to tired rite now kiddies, i should go lay down so i can go steal a tube of glitter frum Wal-Mart later (yes i think stealing is wrong and normally i wouldn't do it because stealing frum like your friends or good corporations will make ya karmically fucked and oh goodness i don't want THAT, but stealin frum Wal-Mart i think is okie cuz Wal-Mart is a FASCIST corporation, they open up in a town and lower their prices, therefore puttin all the mom-n-pop lil family-run stores outta business and therefore eliminating some of their competition, then they jack their prices back up.....oooooh evil monoplising corporation, i shall be the death of yooooooo!)...and i just remembered i'm gonna be babysittin my insane brother later tonite, ooooh my god he is a fruitcake but i love him anywayz.....and it's all good cuz my mom is gonna drop him off and wen she comes she's gonna bring me a BIG brand-spakin-new bag of HOT GLUE GUN GLOOO STIX!!!! oh hooray! *bounce bounce bounce* and when they arrive i shall a happie dance!
oh i almost forgot....YES pixy stix are grand! my fave colour is octarine, and i love my boi (awwww sweet snuggle wuggles to my lovieroo!) and sequins (eheh they are forever embedded in our carpet cuz i have a compulsive tendency to throw them around at random) and ALL MY KANDIE KIDDIES!
loves n wuggles,
popple poo voltarina the ticking time bomb.....
*tick tick tick tick*
ooooh i just poseted my addy on the internet for all to see, i think my mommie warned me not to do that, maybe now a crazy psychopath will come stalk me! (actually that would be kinda neet!! ATTENTION ALL CRAZY PSYCHOPATH STALKERS, PLEEZE COME STALK ME, MY ADDY IS ABOVE!!) and itz just dandy if ya don't send the cake for a while, i'll proly forget about it in a few dayz and then it will be a surprise when it comes and voltarina luuurves surprises!! i'll be as happie as a lil kid on x-mas mornin imma send out your stuff prolly tomorrow, no wait thats sunday i think, so i'll send it out monday if i remember, i'll hafta staple the package to my bulletain board or sunfin so i don't forget cuz for some strange reason having NOTHING to do with the mass consumption of hallucinogens thus resulting in my thought patterns being all chaotic *teehee* my short-term memory is utter poo lately....
well anywayz everybody didja know that today is Harry Potter's birthday? uhuh yepo it shure enuff is, i think imma send him a pwesent!! and guess what else?? i just got back from Wal-Mart, and guess what i got? can ya guess? can ya? well if not i shall tell ya:
things i bought:
cereal with lil marshmallows (ooooh nummy!)
3 canz of redi-Whip (oooh nirous oxide!)...i think the boi and i will have a whipped cream fight later.....i so love projectile whipped cream!!
a bag of strawberry marshmallows (these are nifty, they are shaped as strawberries and taste like em too!)
things i uhmm er "borrowed":
coricidin cough n cold....mmmmm yumnesh
KITTY EARS! you all must, must go get sum of these, they are clear vinyl ears on a headband, and the ears have water and glitter n sequins in em and one of em sayz "Josie and the Pussycats" and the headband has maribou feathery schtuff on it and around the ears!! oooh so prettie! i just put em on my head an walked out *grin*
a bracelet thats made of many strands of tiny orange see-thru beads in all shapes and sizes with a biiiig artificial flower holding them all together
...oh and i forgot to get the glitter, oh well i'll get it tomorrow i suppose...and SHIT SHIT i just remembered i forgot to get ciggys too, FARRRRK imma hafta go back now cuz i'm down to like 2 smokes and oh jeeeez i can't have that cuz then i'll be in a discombobulated tizzy allll nite!
be back inna bit....grrrrr this sux, i think imma ride my bike back cuz i already drove up there once and i wanna be nice to the environment and all and not pump any more carbon monoxide into the air......bleh this is a pain in the arse, why oh WHY did i come home with a bunch of randomly selected crap that i did not need in any way shape or form and forget the one thing that i DO need which is CIGARETTES????? (well i really don't NEED cigarettes, actually i don't need them at all cuz they are HORRIBLE nasty disgusting things that will eventually make me croak from lung cancer or some equally unpleasent malady but darn it, i like smoking!) that reminds me, for all of ya who smoke, have you ever actaully WATCHED yourself smoke? jeeeezus it looks bloody ridiculous! i mean think about it, HUMAN BEINGS with SMOKE going in and out and in and out and in and out of them!!! and whenever i'm outside smoking on the porch and sumone inside asks where i am if sumone replies "she's out smoking" if i hear them i start laughing hysterically and yelling "ooooooooh help i'm smoking, i must be on fire, somone come put me out!!!!!!!!!"
well okie now i really hafta go get smokes b4 it gets all dark and schtuff, lemmie know your addy tripzy muh dear!!
love-a-roo-nee-o's,
voltarina the mongoloid idiot who can't even remember to get gosh darn freakin cigarettes.......
ooooooooh fefe i lurve that pikture of ya! a just checked it out now cuz i was too lazy to do it b4, but you look sooo brite n happie! imma post sum pix of me soon, once again i hate my piece of &%&^%&^$$%^ scanner......
i have ONE more thing to ramble about and it's also sort of a question.....
this girl i know from the telemarketing place i used to work came over a few dayz ago, for no particular reason just to hang out, i really didnt know her all that well but i thought she seemed pretty cool so i gave her my addy and asked her to stop by sometime and then one day she showed up.
so we were downstainrs in my basement/studio listening to music and she was smokin a cigarette, and she ASHED ON MY FLOOR!! just like that, totally on purpose, i didn't say anything right away and she KEPT ON DOING IT!!! so i siad "uhmmm hey would ya mind usin an ashtray?" and she looked at me all surprised and innocent-esque and said "oh yeah" and she looked around and said "well where IS an ashtray?" and i said "oh i dunno, just use the floor" and then she looked at me like i wuz farkin nuts and left. now, the reason i asked her to use an ashtray is cuz i think it's extreeeeemely disrespectful to just meander into someone's house for the first time and ash on their floor, even if the floor is messy or whatever.......i mean SHEESH! i really didn't CARE if she ashed on the floor cuz i need a new rug anyway (i wanna get a swanky 70's shag rug or sumthin...awww yeeeah) but IF YOU ARE AT AN AQUAINTANCES' HOUSE AND YOU HAVE A CIGARETTE AND YOU DONT SEE AN ASHTRAY, YOU SHOULD ASK FOR ONE, YOU SHOULD NOT JUST ASH ON THE FLOOR!!!
am i right here? does anyone agree with me? for some reason i feel like i've beem a massive bitch to this chick by bein all nit-pick-y about her droppin a little ash on the already messy floor......it wasn't the ash, it was the PRINCIPLE of the thing, yes??? will someone pleeeeze validate my actions here cuz this has been buggin me for dayz.........
well imma go take a chill pill now......teehee.,......i loves ya all!
~*vOltAriNa*~
uhmmmmmmmmmm now that i am not quite so hyper i'm thinking back on what ya said Tripzy, bout Bill Gates and peoples readin this schtuff and recreational drug use and all.......and this has been in the back of my mind nagging at me all night.......I DO NOT USE DRUGS! they are baaaaaaaad for you! i am a VERY GOOD GIRL, pleeeeze don't come arrest me or spy on me or investigate me or anything! also i never have ANY anitgovenrment thoughts nononono i am a happie mindless drone worker, move along nothing to see here! and to these elusive "Peoples" who may or may not be readin this secretly....hello!!
ehhhhhhh i feel much much better now......*giggle* gosh darn it FeeFee ya really do have me all paranoid now i feel like my friend joshooooo-A who goes around in constant fear that the FBI has squirrels with tiny video cameras strapped to their backs darting about spying on him.....
AND ONE MORE THING....i just lit my cigarette with matches that came from a resturant that's in Hawaaii (ummm spelled right? prolly not) They're purple and say "Ray's" on the front in white lettering which is not unusual at all, but on the back it has the addy of the resturant and it's in Honolulu! and so i am wondering WHY OH WHO DO I HAVE MATCHES FROM HAWAII?? i have NEVER been there, nor has any of my immediate family, nor has my boi or any of his immediate family, nor has ANYONE that i can think of. WHY would there be matches from Hawaii in my house when no one that ever comes to my house has been to Hawaii????
WAIT i think i may have figured it out, my aforementioned friend joshooooo-A's parents vacationed in Hawaii, and they prolly brought back sum matches, and joshoooo-A prolly lit a smoke with em while at my house and left em here. wowie!
AND *jinkeees* that's a suuuuper-duper example of the chaos theory!
AND it means that joshooooo-A's parents were put on this earth to have a baby to name joshoooo-A who would later become my friend, and then go to Hawaii so joshooo-A could bring matches from Hawaii to my house, so I would wonder where they came from, so i would have something to ramble about on the Candy Kid Swap Board at 7:32 AM today.
wow.
*surveilance squirrels! they're everywhere!*
voltarina
so you're gonna fuck donna, and i'm supposed to fuck her brother?
this was your proposed solution to the problem of your girlfriend in new york coming to visit. but she wasn't REALLY your girlfriend, you said. just some girl you knew a long time ago, she was lonely, you were bored, one thing led to another...i shrugged. in my opinion, anyone coming all the way from new york expecting to get laid could be considered, for all practical purposes, your girlfriend.
donna arrived amidst a trail of flowing skirts and patchouli oil. she was older than me, hispanic, and shorter, all of which made me feel less insecure. she kissed you and i cringed.
i had no intention of fucking her brother. he was a skinny mexican kid preoccupied with the possibilities of altering his I.D so he could be admitted to the local strip clubs. we sat crosslegged on the floor in the living room watching johnny quest and listened to maan's running commentary on the illicit adventures of johhny and hadji. every once in awhile the kid shoved his I.D in my face- "now does it look like i'm really 21?"
the door to your room banged shut and moments later i heard nirvana coming from your speakers. i laughed; you hated nirvana, and now you were playing it to please this girl who was, supposedly, just some chick you used to know.
your door stayed shut for hours. people came and went. lauren and some friends came over with a computer printout detailing the instructions for making hallucinogens from cooked bannana peels...we laughingly gave it a try and ended up with a foul-tasting substance that even the dog eyed suspiciously and backed away from.
your door opend, then shut again. nirvana had ended and something else was playing, though i couldn't discern what. the house was empty now; maan and lauren had left in pursuit of real hallucinogens, and donna's brother had left in pursuit of naked sillicon breasts. i popped in a tape, now labeled "bonnie & clyde for losers", and watchied the lights from the television flicker across the ceiling.
pops came home and joined me on the couch. the movie was over, the house was quiet, and we stared at your shut door. with his sympathetic looks, i began to feel sorry for myself. i hated her, though i realize now that my anger was misplaced. all she knew, after all, what wahat you had told her...that i was just a friend who'd been crashing at your house for a few weeks.
what finally prompted me to open your door wasn't anger that you were fucking some other chick, but annoyance that you were fucking some other chick while leaving me bored, cigaretteless, and without so much as a bottle of vodka to keep me company (as all the alcohol was in your room.) i came in, grabbed a bottle of cheap wine, and left, a couple of minutes later you came into the living room with donna in tow and sat on the couch across from me; i ignored your furtive glances ("we were just talking...") and pretended to minutely examine the label on my bottle of wine.
maan and lauren came back wth more liqour and a bunch of random people; two bottles of wine and five shots of aftershock later, i drunkenly told donna that, no, i was not some friend crashing at your house, and told you to go to hell. donna freaked out and called me a bitchcuntstupidslut and threw an empty bottle at me. you bitched at me for telling her, jen bitched at you for being an "insensitive asshole", donna's brother bitched about being unable to fool the bouncers at The Blue Moon, and pops bitched at us all to shut the fuck up so he could sleep and i decided to fuck a frined of maan's, some cute skinny lil poseur-punk-grunge boy with shoulder-length pink hair and a Soundgarden shirt, on your couch to get back at you. you were lying on the front porch in a fetal postion next to the dog, swigging whiskey and playing your acoustic guitar. you didn't even notice.
the next day, donna left. while she was waiting for her cab, she made it clear that she was doing me some enormous favor for "letting me have her boyfriend", that if i wasn't nice to him she'd throw another bottle at me or something, and that i was indeed a bitchcuntstupidslut. you apopgetically offered me a handfull of skittles, and everything returned to normal. satisfaction shot through me as i kissed you while she watched from the back window of her departing cab.
my oh my this is getting quite long...oh boy, i bet i am bothering you, am i? am i? am i irritating you or just slightly amusing you or neither or are you even bothering to read this? echh my eyeballs are starting to throb and the O.o click +:: click::+ click clakc of the keyboard is making me nauseous oh fuck why am i sitting here writing and rewring this letter to you over and over and over and over again i should be asleep or drawing a picture or perhaps even doing something somwhat productive like cleaning my house so maggots don't crawl around on everythin or maybe i'll go spraypaint my art in the morning my neighbors must think i'm nuts, i emerge from my house at odd hours of the dusk and dawn wearing chaos and carrying great spakly heaps of garbage that i proceed to set on my front steps and pound nails into oh i'm so sorry did all that hammering wake you up? second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse........shannan dear it really dosen't matter what order you read them in. oh goodness golly gee i wonder what you'll say about me. after you read this of course. all kinds of horrid things? or not, i wonder. perhaps you'll reply to me? hmmmm, that would be quite a treat, it'd be interesting to see what you say to me and see if it differs from what you say to others...or maybe you won't reply at all..i guess i shall just hafta wait and see. i like to repeat myself sometimes self induced paranoia of echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo, what's your view on all of that? reading minds as well as emotions/understand understanding. what you say calls me back to say what you're thinking in reverse....deja vu just in case here's the original brand spankin new and shiny, only $2.99, feefeegina-anus, get em while you can: tralalaltralatralalalalalal.....copy and paste, what fun! did you ever eat paste as a kid? rinse and repeat as desired, this (well not this but THIS) is the original letter of course, you shall have to read it all by itself by it's little lonesome so it makes sense...my wings aren't made of feathers but of string and candy and broken teeth all wrapped up in electrical tape in a heart shaped box that sits in your closet amongst the dust and critters and maybe there's a demon in there too? oh why not throw one in just for shits and giggles. you can't kill whats already dead so we fly to the unsaid..hey lookie there another pretty little rhyme that flows together quite nicely don't you agree shannan? well any hoo sue snoo, here's the first one i wrote, maybe there's something else? why don't you look and see....
hello shannan, my dreams were beautiful last night...actually i dreamed about flying around in toy aeroplanes in pink cotton kandie clouds...my brother says that he had nightmares, though....interesting. ya know shannan, i farking hate machines right now. it's 5:17AM and i came on to check my email and i got this +++evil blue screen+++ and then i wanted to play my leonard cohen CD in the cdrom drive but i couldn't find the cd, when i finally found it i had to reboot, and just as i had everything all figured out and my cd started playing, the annoying lil wav. file from my desktop theme started up and inturrupted my listening enjoyment, ~~?~~ so i am rather irked at the moment....and yes that kind or rhymed but not really. have you ever read "ender's game" shannan? it's a very good book, if you've not read it yet you should...jaunt on down to the bookstore and read it while sitting in betwen the shelves if you're too cheap to buy it. there are demons in the walls everywhere, shannan...it's quite peculier, in the insane asylum all the nuns and people were huddling around the little girl to protect her from what you thought was "margaret"....isn't it strange and exhilerating and horrifying and terrible when you see a human being and you see their beauty and then you know that they're going to die and then you see them as dead and rotten and then you go past that into their reincarnations and beuaty once again and you realise that everything is rebuilt just to be destroyed?
i'll be your devil if you let me into your mind....do you know what i mean what i mean what love hate love hate you you you you i mean...the term psychic vampire just popped into my head...but i'm sure i'm just babbling nonsensically, right shannan, right? right? right? you know, you have to have a great love in your heart for people to do what we do...
to give you a mental image i'm sitting here in fromt of my computer in a room full of sequins and glue and paint and cigarette butts and broken computer parts and Christian propaganda and other bits of nothing and everything, i have two sproingy antennae with blue tinsel streaming down and anime hair and vintage micky mouse and jeans smeared with paint and glitter and purple fake hair made from legos and broken doll parts there is goose shit green paint stuck under my fingernails with the leftover DNA of little girls entwined...you know it's interesting when roles are reversed...i don't know what to say, what do you say to this? maybe you shoud grow up and maybe i should or maybe not because just maybe perhaps maybe everything happens for a reason, it could be that you were predestined to be a hot topic poseur child for all eternity but i very much doubt it. ++ cigarettes are disgusting, eh? i mean shit, LOOK at yourself when you smoke. it looks ridiculous...a BEING with SMOKE going in and out and in and out and in and out D and in O and out and G in and M out A of you....so i think i'll have another cigarette. welly welly welly i really do like hentai, how about you? little innocent japanese schoolgirls with their legs spread wide open and phalluses going in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out of thier tiny pristine virginal twats....and their faces contorted in beautiful pain. shhhh, musn't let the neighbors see. did it feel like a pillow when the knife went in???????????
in love there is no wrong,
vollie
you are a newt.
i shall eat you for dinner.
ummmm
where's my ring?
shannan dear i loved your email so nice so pretty like poetry confetti i just got back from the store i bought strawberry marshmallows and they're so yummy sacharrine coated sweet you want to deny that you are me ying/yang my darker side peter pan little hot topic poseur boi......
face down ass up is that the way you like to fuck?
such a beautiful ruined whore, sick and pathetic and so beautifully legubrious...more human than human welly welly i likes elektronica of course, also i like folk-classic rock-psycheldelic-whatever musik a whoolllle bunch like leonard cohen :: the beatles :: jimi hendrix :: pink floyd :: the who :: and most definately Charlie Manson.....also i lurve old-skool punk and sum newish, like Flux of Pink Indians :: Crass :: Misfits :: Propaghandi :: Blanks 77 :: 999 :: Putrid Flowers and sooooooo on forever and also i'm quite fond of sum industrialish like Hole :: Tool :: old NIN :: and many more along those lines that i'm far too lazy to type or even think of at the present time, and oh yeah i like blues and jazz and classical and ambient and even sum country (like johnny cash n Hank Williams Sr.) and ghetto-booty rap sumtimes if i'm in the mood and swing and the spice girlz...and the cure...
and oh well pretty much anything that dosen't suck, it allll depends on my mood wich fluctuates dramatically at the spur of the moment...so therefore my taste in music is ever changing i guess ~*vOltAriNa*~
feeefeeee i wuvz ya!! yes oh yes i would luve to live in yur closet (though actually on a more serious note mebbe i could cum visit ya sumtime cuz i is plannin a trip to north carolina sumtime in the next year whenever me van works well enuff to do random road trips) and we could skip class to buy lemonade (and steal beadz frum walmart) every other Wednesday and darlin, ya can ash on my floor anytime and yeah i have a strong suspiscion that the 2 of us mite be nutzoid (and mebbe a few others on the board too, yay!) but in a good phun happie way of course, not in a drooling-psychopath-locked-up-in-a-mental-institution-sumwhere kinda way.
OH and also gues what gues what guessssss (all those extra "ss's" on the last one are to make up for the "ss's" i forgot the first 2 times i typed "guess" cuz i wuz too lazy to go back n fix em) what?? i sent ya out sum thigs (well actually i sent some "things", not "thigs", cuz if i sent ya a thig you'd open up the box and go ummmm what the fark, she sent me a thig! now what am i gonna do wiff that?!) in da mail today!! hooray i hopes they makes it to ya soonies!
OH, and i wrote sum things on my dry-erase board the other day! i *heart* dry-erase boards, i have one hangin in every room of my house and two in the baffroom cuz theyre great to doodle on while perfrorming certain lengthy bodily functions eheheh......do ya wanna know what they say? do ya? no? oh come on humor me here....pweeeze....say it...."*sigh* okay, Voltarina, what did ya write on your stoopid dry-erase boards?" oh joy, i though you'd mever ask!!! okie, the one in the kitchen on the fridge says: "are friends electric? mine's broken down and now i've got no one to love..." then there is a squiggly line and under that it says Let's do the time warp, then there is ANOTHER line, then it says I Wanna Be A Tampon (i don't actually wanna be a tampon, i wrote it cuz when i used to live in Tampa Fl me n my friends would say that people who lived in Tampa were called Tampons, get it Tampa = Tam-pons heheheheheh prolly not really that funny but ah well i guess you'd hafta be there) then there is a DOTTED line and it says AGAIN ! in big capital letters with an exclaimation point. verrrry fascinating, eh? yeah i feel special! and there is also sumthin written on the dry-erase board on my living room wall, BUT imma make ya all wait to find out what it sayz until my next post! muahahahahah i shall keep you all in suspense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okie kids, i hafta go, i found a big ol patch of wildflowers near my house and suddenly have an irresistable urge to go roll around in em, talk to ya all laters and in the meantime don't forget to put your underwear on your head and run down the street screaming "i am the walrus!!!"
*help, i'm a tampon trapped in a bubblegum factory!*
voltarina
OHHHHHH my GOODNESS GOLLY GEE this is HORRIBLE! sowwie to post sooo much in a row again but i just noticed this and eeeep i must share with ya all.........
i got these cigarettes at the gas station today and i got them cuz they were hella cheep and the package looks sorta nifty, they are some brand i'd never heard of called Sixty1, ad they taste pretty good but kinda harsh which i don't mind cuz i rather like harsh smokes.
anywayz i wuz readin the package while i waited for the site to load and i noticed that THEY ARE MADE IN THE PHILLIPINES WITH COMPONENT FROM THE USA, now ya know what THAT means......they are made in the Phillipines cuz they can use really cheap slave labor and pay lil children like 2 cents a day to work for loong ass hours in bad conditions cuz they don't have much for child labor laws in the Phillipines, and the corporation who makes the smokes does that so they can make more profit and oooooh that is EVIL! exploiting children in underdeveloped countries to make sum extra $$$, oh i HATE corporations who do that!
and so now i feel TERRIBLE becuz by buying these smokes I, accidentally and in an indirect way, endorsed SLAVE LABOR which of course is something i HATE HATE HATE and despise. fark fark farfenuugen.
so now cuz i feel sooo bad and i do not wish to be karmically fucked and feel like an all-around shithead, i shall make a public apology to the unfortunate Phillipino person who helped manufacture these:
I AM VERY VERY SORRY FOR ACCIDENTALLY BUYING CIGARETTES MADE BY A COMPANY WHO USES SLAVE LABOR, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR AND I WILL *NEVER* BUY EM AGAIN! and when i am older and have enuff cash i will adopt a small child from the Phillipines so they don't hafta work in factories and whatnot.
ok thank you for listening to that and by the way boycott Sixty1 brand cigarettes and tell allll yur frinds to do the same okie? okie!
luffs,
voltarina
grrrr i am SO INCREDIBLY THOURGHLY IRRITATED rite now, i just typed a reply on here for like half an hour and TWO FREAKIN seconds b4 i wuz gonna send the reply AOL logged me off due to inactivity cuz i hadn't clicked the gosh darn foiking mouse in a while....oooh technology pisses me off more and more every day, and now i don't remember hardly anything that i said so some of my babbling is lost to the world forever i suppose (oh god NO that mite just screw up the entire space-time-continum) but i shall try to reproduce my original message i guess as i *really* don't have much better to do with my time than retype stuff i already typed because AOL SUX MONKEY SCHNUTZ...actually i don't really mind in the least bit but i just wanted to bitch about AOL at that moment teeheeteehee....anywho i think it went sumthin like this:
hellooo all my beautiful bouncy children! ya all must must MUST go check out this site www.bubblegumonline.com tis the cutest thing in the whole entire world (cept of course baby kittens ad lil childern wiff popsicle juice smeared on their faces, pink and bloo swirled cotton candy and glitter and anime chix)....
ya fefe i know what ya mean, it's just a sleepy kinda day, i just woke up frum a nap that lasted alllll afternoon and now i'm gonna be all nokturnal and schtuff and stare blankly at my puter screen for hours on end then go break schtuff in the basement....
which reminds me, egads they make toys well these days! (and rite now i am CLICKING THE MOUSE COMPULSIVELY ALLLL OVER THE SCREEN TO PREVENT BEING LOGGED OFF AGAIN), last nite i wuz tryin to break this lil toy i got outta a happie meal or sumthin (altho they are reallie UN-happie meals cuz McDonalds uses inhumane slaughterhouse practices, ya should never ever eat there, i don't anymore cept to get a random happie meal from to time and then lecture the poor defenseless drive-thru worker bout animal rights and why they should quit their job cuz McDonalds is yet ANOTHER Evil Corporation) anyways the toy wuz a lil dalmation in a cute sparkly bloo aeroplane wiff wheels, and i figured i could just smash it with a hammer a few times and it'd crack and then i could pry it apart wiff pliers so i hit it *bang bang bang* and instead of breaking it FLEW across the room and broke a mirror on the wall and then landed on the floor completely unharmed, so i went and got it and tried again and this time i hit a screwdriver on top of the toy with the hammer in hopes that would work better but THAT resulted in only sum minor cracking, SO i wrapped the whole thing in a towel and banged away frantically with all my might for like 20 minutes while screaming "i must kill this toy!" (and that's quite a funny mental image when ya think about it, picture me at 3:00 in the morning sitting in my basement hacking away at a children's toy like a bloody loon), and FINALLY it broke and i took it all apart and hot-glued the dalmation's head to a pacifier and put a picture of Jesus on the body where the head was sposed to go, and i'll prolly stick ?sumthing? in whats left of the aeroplane + coat the whole thing wiff glitter, and the BESTEST part of all is that there were lil gears and sprokets inside of the aeroplane that i took out and played wiff and finally glued to a barbie head after, of course, i had chopped off her hair and replaced it wiff a pink mohawk made of shards of broken stained glass. hooray, what phun!
****************pause*********** i gotsta go get a lil japanese gummi candy thing, they are quite delicious and taste like peach and inside they have this wierd lil nut that is chewy and tasted vaugely reminiscent of pineapple......so HOLD THAT THOUGHT AND DO NOT GO AWAY....................
okie doike i iz back......and in the original message i typed a bunch of fascinating shite here but due to my aforementioed lack of short-term memory i cannot for the life of me piece together what it wuz that i wrote....think Voltarina think...come on you can do it.....uhhhmmmmmmmmm....OH YES! I REMEMBER NOW!!!!!
in case anyone cares i am smokin "Palace" brand ciggys today, they are another unheard of super cheep-o brand, and are made in Spain with Spanish components so that greatly reduces the chances of child-labor-useage....they taste kinda phunky but oh well i guess ya can't have everything now can ya? (well actually ya can i spose in the metaphorical sense anywayz but ya know what i mean right? right.)
oh and i know i said i wuz gonna post what's on my other dry-erase board in this post but....teeheheheh guess what? i'm not!! i bet ya can hardly stand the suspense, i'm shure all of ya will lie awake in bed allll nite tonite goin, hmmmm i wonder what's on Voltarina's other dry-erase board, but i'm not gonna telllllll yoooooou...mwahahahah! okie it seems that the "monkeys" thread wuz devoted to schtuff we like an apparently this one iz gonna be all bouts schtuff that pizzes us off.....soooo while we're all bitchin ya know what i fakin hate??? when i open up a box of macaroini an cheez and i'm all thinkin oooooooh yummy macaroni and cheezy goodness oh yum i cannot wait to eat this it shall be all creamy and gooey and cheezy and chock full of calories and therefore delicious cuz we all know that ANYTHING with a ridiculously high calorie count just hasta be tasty (cept maybe lard, that prolly has tonz o calories but would prolly be quite disgusting to eat by the spoonful) and anywayz i open it up and GOSH FRICKIN DARN IT THERE IS NO CHEEZ PACKET, none at all and ya turn the box upside down and inside out but nope it is definately not there, the cheeze packet for this box simply does not exist oooooooooh that just ruins my fookin day, but then of course ya can call the company and rant and scream and make em send ya a free case of macaroini and cheeze and i can't think of hardly anything better to find on my front porch than THAT!!!
voltarina
*give me my cheeze packet or you shall feel my wrath!!*
Leechie Jelly! (the lil gummie things that is).....mine are peach flavoured, my frind in japan says that as well as strawberrie n peach there are GREEN APPLE flavoured ones....now THAT i'd love ta try.......i have like a gazillion bags of the things they are soo tasty and i lurve the lil plastic dome-shaped thingies they come in and the labels wiff kanji and froot on em, i save them all when i'm done eatin the gummies and always find sum random use for em....
tripzy hon i love the way yoo quote movies, tis quite alrite...i just got done watchin "Next Friday" ...oh that movie iz da bomb yo....and am now tryin to think of a clever quote from it that would sumhow pertain to our conversation but alas i cannot sooo just imagine that everything i'm sayin is in a south-central-homie-G accent and every now and then switch into a British accent just for variety.
well i DEFINATELY think the three of us and whomever else wants to come also should hang out....the trip i am plannin to NC coinkidikally enuff is to visit asheville...so that would be purrrrfekt if Tripzy can sumhow make it out that way at the same time......oh wowie zowie i can just imagine all the kwazy mischief we could get into, and if we don't end up in a prison somewhere in Thailand (which for sum strange and inexpicable reason sounds kinda phun and intriguing...) i bet we shall at least make a great spectacle of ourselves and terrify/bewilder/confuzz innocent passerby and hopefully not get insitutionalised....i worry about that a lot, really i do, and sumtimes really seriously wonder about my sanity...like maybe i am actually crazy and not just kwazy in like a silly kinda way but actually literally INSANE if ya get my jist cuz i *just don't act or think or anything like the vast majority of people i know* and that's a bit of a disconcerting thought but oh well i spose..........and as long as we're talkin bout disturbing thoughts about craziness, have ya ever thought that maybe, just maybe perhaps we are actually just insane lunatics locked up in a room in an asylum sumwhere and the whole entire world that we *think* we live in is just a product of our deranged imaginations and one day we will stop creating this world for ourselves and wake up and look around and see the REAL reality that nothing we thought was real really exists and go "phuck, this is hella lame"....ooooh creepy.....a head trip along the lines of "what if this is our dream life and what we think is our dreams is real" uhmmm okie no more disturbing thoughts before bedtime...yes ridiculous things like this keep me up at nite and nooooooo i don't have an active imagination no not at all in the tiniest least lil bit...........
ya know it just occured to me that this is a RAVER board and we hardly ever ever talk about raving lol......and it also just occured to me that i haven't even BEEN to a rave in like 5 or 6 months so i guess i can hardly even consider myself a "raver"...
and NOW, with no further ado, i shall tell you all what is on my other dry-erase board so no one will lie awake tonite wondering! aren't ya all excited? yes? okie here it is someone told me drugs are bad.
i will admit (an i hope that no one thinx i'm a moron for stating this) that i lurve to take E at raves and collapse in a pile with my fellow E-tards though i never do so on the middle of the dance floor and i like to rave sober as much as i do phucked up (by the way Bill Gates if you're readin this i wuz just kiddin, i've never taken E or any other chemical substance recreationally in my whole entire life cuz i am a good lil girl) and while i do luv electronica i will admit (ooh embarassing lil confession time!) that i really wasn't into it when i first started raving (like i knew what techno wuz and listened to it on occasion but didn't really know much about it and wuz mostly into punk rawk music and stuff and looked not "kandie" in the least as i had a huuuge peenk mohawk + 13 piercings + wore mostly cammo pants wiff patches + torn band tshirts + combat boots...and still dress like that a lot of the time but while also wearing a feather boa and kandie and a tiara and a huge black ballroom skirt...i pretty much look like some strange hybrid mix up of punkness and gothiness and kandie and hippie *giggle*), anywayz i originally went to my first rave with a friend just to meet cool peoples and dance and maybe find peeps that looked and acted as interesting/odd as i do......uhmm yea i guess that prolly means i am a great big poseur and schtuff. but i guess that i really don't care :)
go ahead, point and laff at me,
voltarina
happiness is when you just got free bubblegum and you walk down the street a bit and all your friends are there and that guy you have a crush on is lookin at ya and melissa kisses you right on the lips....halos i am gone to california yeash...this place makes me happy, you can wear skirts
in february with no tights or fishnets ahhh happiness...and
tis just happiness
yepperz tripziepoo, sum leechie jelly is comin your way soon when, once agin, my pathetic cash-less self gets sum $$ for postage.....but the most wonderfulest thing on planet earth is that i shall be gettin like a WHOLE FREAKIN ARSELOAD of $$ soon frum some mutal funds my grandparents started for me like a bazillion years ago and now that i'm 18 (i'm a legal adult ooh what a phunny though) imma just cash em in and even after my mortgage payments and gettin other inportant things im gonna have more $$ to phuck around with than i could ever imagine what to do wiff so im gonna send random prezzies to everyone!!!!
and omfg i cannot wait to freak out southern baptists, i just simply luurve to do that and i especially love it when they give me religious pamphlets as i collect them and other religious iconography...don't ask why cuz i'm not Christian in any way but i'm just obsessed wiff religious iconography and especially Catholic schtuff...Catholocism is so nifty strange, i see a lot of correlations between Catholocism and Paganism with all the saints and whatnot.........
star, ya gots to put up piccies of yer new peeenk hair when ya dye it, i luff pink hair! mine is peenk to rite now & orange & red
and guess what?? i just went to this totally ghetto convenience store in a quote "bad neighborhood" nearish my house, and oh sweet jeeeezus it wuz awesome, they have every kind of candy imaginable and fake hair in neet colours like bloo and purple and Coricidin Cough & Cold (oh HOORAY.......that reminds me that i just realised i'm becomin a farkin DXM-head lately lol *not that i use recreational drugs or anything, i'm just kiddin Bill Gates* but i guess thats okie since i never actually OVERuse it, just use it a lot lol) and also they have BEADS and cute lil barettes and a kewl Middle-Eastern cashier that gave me free Barbie bubblegum with cute lil stickers and chupa chups in all flavours and melody pops and underwear-shaped bubble gum! wheeee! also there were a bunch of really friendly gangsta-homie-G guys that said hi to me and i just think it's funny, the "ghetto" areas of town have such a bad reputation but people just seem a lot nicer and happier there (well i spose if ya were a snobby corporate executive or sumthin people mite not be as frindly but im not so yeah it's all good in da hood)...I LOVE THE GHETTO!!!!!!!!!!!
luuuuuurve ya all,
voltarina
the one and only Great Fantastical Bribbilyroo
*psst* and spongebob squarepants may very well be a god of some primitive culture in a jungle in south Africa.
wowie wowie dahlin your hair sounds phukin kewl!!!
yuppers i just got back from Da Ghetto Store in fact......there are really neet swanky puffy 70's stickers there (i think they're literally vintage from the 70's, there's like multiple layers of dust on em teehee and the copyright date is 1974 and like omfg real live 70's stickers are hard to find!!) and so i wuz lookin at em and the Middle-eastern shopkeeper came up and started talkin to me and asked where i wuz gonna put the stickers and i said prolly on my computer and he asked if i had internet and i said yes indeedy and he had me write down my instant message name so he could come talk to me online. now is that kewl or what?!?! i think imma try to get a job there cuz a ghetto store would be one of the most awesomest places in the whole world to work....and then as i was leavin the store this ancient lady with multiple colors of dreadlocked hair came up to me and asked me to come to this religious thingie this friday at Da Ghetto Church and i just mite go so i can add religious paraphenilia to my collection and she said there was gonne be like faith healers there and that would just trip me out. and THEN as i wuz gettin on my bike this homie G gangsta guy with cut-off pantyhose on his head (and can anyone tell me WHY homie G dudes wear cut off pantyhose on their heads and actually for some odd reason feel hardcore wearin them? that just boggles my mind, i guess maybe it's a gang thing or sumthin but i'm really tempted to get a pair of my peenk n black striped stockings and cut em off and wear em on my head and hope i don't get my ass kicked for doin so) and anyways he stared at me for like 5 million years and then goes "daaaamn girl, you fine!" which made me just crack up laffin and then i gave him a balloon which made HIM crack up laffin so we stood there laffin for a while (and that prolly looked utterly bemusing, a "gangsta" dude and a "kandie-punk-hippie-whatever" chick standin on the street laffin their asses off and holding balloons). and then on my way home i saw this really neet super ornate wrought-iron Victorian-esque chandelier and sum coathangers covered in purple & green shag fakefur sittin in sumones garbage so i looked around and grabbed em and took em home (yep go ahead, laugh at me, eeeew takin stuffz outta peoples garbage is icky and whatever but hey this stuff was awesome and perfectly fine and i hate seein good nifty stuff go to waste!).
wellies i gots to go cuz my boi is makin sum nummy Chinese stir-fry foodage and volatarina is *starvin*....
off like a prom dress,
voltarina the daaaaamn fine gurl
okie hun that'd be jus dandy...im soooo happie that imma get circle K schtuff! i cannot believe that that other package ya sent me just *poof* disappeared into oblivion, i mean jus think, sumwhere out there that package exists in some odd plane of existance known as "stuffs that got losted by the post orfice" limbo-type-thingie...prolly alll the packages ever lost by the post orfice will band together eventually and form some odd troop of evil lost packages and phuck up the ENTIRE-SPACE-TIME-CONTINUM and my package shall be amongst them going "laDeedah, i am a lump of matter that was suppposed to end up in the hands of another lump of matter but a different lump of matter at the post office fucked something up so now i am just a lump of dissassociated matter floating about in space..................."
ergh i hates tha postal system...bleh leh bleh
so sasha dahling if ya sends me circle K schtuff i shall bee eva so happie!
ehhn a side note i wuz phucked up when i wrote this post and egads i hope it makes sum sorta sense in tha mornin......schneeeeeee imma go type more now even tho i can hardly see the keys of what im typing oh dissociation is so terribly phun.....yuppers imma go make an arse outta myself typing like a drugphucked biscuit
oh come on, i wanted to change the name of the group from "candy kid swaps" to "candy kid nonsensical babbling" *teehee* yes indeedy with a calliope and a slightly melted orange flavoured Dreamsicle, tis time for another swappie! i really liked the idea of a glitter themed one, i am just obsessed with glitter as of late (and even beyond my usual glitter obsession so instead of just heaping 8 gazillion pounds of glitter on random parts of myself, lately i've been just fillin my bathtub with the schtuff and rollin around in it) soooooo who wants to meister? anyone? come one, i know sumone wants to do it......if no one else wants to, i could do it again but do feel free to volunteer as my mind is so cluttered lately i'm not sure if i can take on anymore projekts rite now without spontaneously combusting or sumthin......
whee i'm off to walmart, tonite im borrowin Sucrets & Tussin......damn i hate this perpetual cough of mine *cough cough cough cough ooooh pwettie colours*
oi schtar i luffz the new lil grafx ya put on the board......it looks hella awesome, even better than pickled oysters with orange peacock spleens dipped in ranch dressing....and THAT would be quite good indeed.......
~*vOltAriNa*~ air::trees::water::animals peace::love::unity::respect www.atwa.com
oooooooooh now ya gots me all thinkin...with the kandie kid road trip movie thing.......me an sum friends wrote a screenplay about that once, it goes like this *digs thru millions of text files on puter....ooooh found it!*:
gah! that is soo kute bout yer mums! lol my mommie is hella awesome as well, when i buy a bunch of fabric to make phat pants wiff and then get all frusterated and itrritated and sew all the fabric into a big unrecognisable mess cuz i simply do not have the patience to sew, my mommie comes ova and fixes it all for me and sews the pants up all purdy! hooray for mommies, without them i'd be stuck wearin nothin but spandex legwarmers *giggle*!!
oi there mumsie how is ya? i am just splendiferous and peachy as always.......ya shoulds go check out my life story, there is a new post wiff sum more i wrote..........oh and we lost brennan, yup sold him to passing Gypsies, got a whole 75cents for him.....tralala just kiddin he is in the brianwashing chamber with roo.......
oh and ummmmmmmmmmmmm there was a point to this email really there was really and trooly, i promise i ddn't just email ya to ramble pointlessly! oh come ON THINK, WHY am i writing this email? farkin short-term memory loss! ~:+*oh yes*+:~ i remember now!
i forgots a bloo plastic bag of miscallaneous stuff at your house, also upstairs in the kiddies room by the closet there's a thing with sum paints in it. oh and buy me more gloo stix. now, damnit! GLOOO STIX I NEED EM! gloo...it does a body good! uhmm pretty pweeze?
oodles n schmoodles
of luffz and wet noodles,
the one and only Great Fantastical Bribbilyroo
indeedy schtar that IS false advertising.....i think all the peoples who've ever thought Starbursts were star-shaped should sue the pantaloonies off the Starburst peoples, and say it caused them great mental trauma and blablahblah whatnot becuz of the horribe disappointment of the candies not bein in star shapes.......
i mean, wowzie, think about it for a minute: ya know when people occasionally just go off their rockers and shoot a bunch of random strangers in a walmart or sumthin? it's most definately prolly possibly because they've been harbouring some secret insanity brought about by the disappointment of SQUARE Starbursts....and one day it just became too much for them...and *kazing!* they lose it! and think of it on a larger scale, SQUARE STARBURSTS MAY VERY WELL BE THE UNDERLYING REASON FOR ALL THAT IS BAD IN THE WORLD! THE ROOT OF ALLLL EVIL!
uhmmm okie no more crack for me before breakfast
luffz,
voltareena
*you can invade *my* waffle house!*
gah again! you sayz pantaloons! i am like the only person i know (well cept yoo now) in the whole wide world that uses that word! i luffs ya chica!!!!!
lol i make my pants the really lazy, super easy way....take a pair of neato pants, rip open the side seams, cut 2 panels of nifty fabric, insert panels, sew back together and make a drawstring waist....lol easy enuff for a retarded crackmonkey to do wiff no problem but i still always manage to phuck it up somehow....sewing irritates the bejeeeezus outta me yet ifer sum reason i always find myself doing it a lot. +:*snarf*:+
yuppers i am an oficcial proud owner of a braaaaand new toaster oven, and yup i have aim too, my nick is atwaplur, so gimme a holler anytime...i iz usually on around 3:00 in the mornin and if ya IM me i'll spew random bits of nonsensical words at ya and maybe even have in-depth conversations about toaster ovens *giggle* what phun!!
voltarina
*give me my library card you silly biznatch!*
SQUEEEEE i went around all day singin the candykidswap theme song at the top of my lungs...come of sing it wiff me everyone....."toasters toasters rock my socks like pantaloons"
and this shall be the second verse...."taco taco Ghetto Spock-O, glitter luffz my mom!"
okie for a drawstring waist jus fold ova the wistband and sew it and then work a strin thru it, know what i mean? prolly not uhmm i'll draw a piccie or sumthin gah i suck at explainin technikal schtuffz................
wowie sasha that all sounds like sooo much phun, the stuffs ya did the other day.........i wanna come hang out wiff yooooooo!!!!!
star...check out www.ebay.com for neet sheets....i have like a pound of popples sheets here that i could never possibly use all of even if i decided to wallpaper my house in popple sheets (and i just might...hmmm), do ya want sum of em? lemme knows!
tripzy! *hello tripzys freinds, i luffs yah!* i wanna go on jenny jones!!!! lemme kno ifs ya do go on there okie! egads what phun!!!
sasha! evil drivers liscense cocksucking bastardos grr! and yep, yoo is my kali, i knoew she wuz out there sumwhere...and hon ya gotta be unlazy for a sec and write up the general theme of your religoin and sne it to me and i'll do the same wiff mine and they will COMBINE, and we can make it into a real religion and get followers by uhmm makin a webpage about it and makin lil pamphlets to hand out to people..WE MUST DO THIS!!!!! ahhh! okie?
ahh i love paranoid delusions, im always askin my friends (like, all three of em lol) if they only hang out wiff me cuz i throw glitter on them frum time to time...lol
gosh i'm tired from makin all these new posts, my fingers are all exhausted from marathon-ing across the keyboard...imma go take a nap now cuz im so tired from writing stuff online.....and THAT is really sad
i cannot thinks of anyhting to type on this topic but of course wanna keep it goin so uhmm........i am eatin animal crackers frum Mexico, they are called Animal Galletas (i assume that is cookies in spanish?) ehrm whay oh whay am i such a goob, fascinated with any kind of treats from anywhere foreign???? but yeah they are quite good, much pluffier than regular animal crackers, go get sum everyone!!
~*vOltAriNa*~ air::trees::water::animals peace::love::unity::respect www.atwa.com
gah! i just realised that the website i use in my signature (www.atwa.com) has been down for egads knows how long....and now i feel like a dorkus cuz maybe sum of yas went and checked it out (or maybe not, whatever) and said...uhm theres nothin on this page, voltareenahs on crackage........but uhmm ya its a charlie manson page....well it is when its up anywho....just in the odd event that sumone actually cares what the link in my sig is *snarf*
NVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE!!!!!! there. much better. speakin of ciggys, i just went to Da Ghetto Store to talk to the neet middle-eastern shopkeeper an get sum nummy, non-evil-slave-labor-usin ciggys, an on my way back sum lil kids, like age range of 6 - 10, asked me for sum rollin paperz, and i laughed my frickin arse off, then they asked me to come play wiff em.....lol! an then i asked sum neet chix that were doin each other's hair on the porch if they could do my hair in cornrows, an they said yes indeedy, so i shall have cornrows soon!
eeeeeeeeee i had an awesomely soooper day, imma post later bout everything neet i saw and or though of...so prepare yourselves for hella rambles sumtime in the wee hours of the nite! *joy*
voltareena
hare hare krishna hare hare krishna krishna hare ramah hare krishna *puts on orange robes and offers yoo flowerz*
okie seein as how i tell ya allz what i have on my dry-erase boards anywaym here it is, the amazing and fascinating *:+Voltareeenah'z Virtual Dry-Erase Board+:* feel free to scribble on it an tell us all interesting factiods or your thoughts or whatever....and if ya have a dry-erase board by all means copy the stuff here for us all to see ifs ya wanna! and don't forget to tell us what color marker you're usin :)
okie this is what's on mine today, the one in the baffroom....it's a thought that occured to me while takin a poop (ewwww yuck! how revolting of me to say that! sowwie!):
all my friends, and your friends, and everyone kewl in the world is an incarnate of some god/goddess, some people are more than one god/goddess(*everyone! think of what diety yoo most resemble an post it here!*) and when we all meet up and partee together we will become Brahma (the Hindu all-encompassing god that is comprised of all dieties) and the coming of Brahma to earth shall signify the time for us all to travl into outer space and start a huuuge perpetual rave commune on another planet....
okie me, no more crackage before 3 in the afternoon......
uffz, voltareena/shiva
squee! i gots da johnny bravo magnet...it's on my friddgie rite now...so yeppers, my friddgie ish a "chick magnet" (as the magnet proclaims in big purdy red letterz)
blarg. tired. must sleep so can go to Da Ghetto Church later. Post More Later. Yup. BuhByez.
Volatrina..incapable of talking in complete sentences
hmmm whaz can tripzy an schtar beeeee.......i shall thinks of sumfin later.....an for now, scribble in pretty peeenk marker:
MY BOI IS THE GOD OF MAKIN LIL CUTE THINGIES OUTTA TIN FOIL!!! aaah! he jus made this lil thing fer me whilst he wuz sittin here watchin me type, and it's all cute! he gave it to me an i put it in my mouth cuz i wuz typin at the moment so right now as we speek i iz sittin here with a lil tinfoil *takes out thing and looks at it* dragon-type-aeroplane-thingy in my mouth. well no, wait, i actually just took it OUT of my mouth. but yoo get the point. yeah.
new verse for tha ckswap themiesong! since they keep poppin up everywhere...."powerpuff poptarts oi! oi! oi!"
sooooooooooooo......EVERYBODY NOW...........
toasters toasters rox my sox like pantaloons, taco taco ghetto spock-o, glitter luffs my mom! *powerpuff poptarts oi! oi! OI!*
toodles....sleeeeeeeeep.....................................
voltareeeeeeeeeee--too tired to type my name correctly squeeeee i am ALWAYS puttin stuff in safe *safe* places that are really odd, and i forget where i puts em, or hiding things from myself temporarily and then permanently losing them...like once i wuz always loosin my cordless phone so i put it in the mailbox when i wuz done usin it, so i would always be like "oh ya the phone's in the mailbox" BUT then i wuz lookin allll over the house for the phone goin "gah! where's the phone?!?!?" cuz WHO would ever think to look in the mailbox for a farkin phone? and of course me of little short-term memeory forgot i put it there. BUT it waz all good cuz my boi came home later and brought the phone inside and said..."ummmm the mailbox was ringing...i'm not even gonna ask...."
*voltareeeeeeeeeeeeeee...*
"now WHERE did i put those last two ciggys i wuz savin for when i ran out........?"
ahhhh an now i ish callin MYSELF voltareeeeeee and so ish my boi and one of my friends cuz they were readin this..by the way i had a bunch of my fwiendz read allll thish stuff (gots that idea from yah tripzy!) and THEY ALL LUFF YOOZ, specially tripzy an schtar an sasha an jewliahz and umm yepo everybuddi........
*narf* i just typed in one of my other posts that i wuz leavin BUT then i read this post and just had to reply.......gah imma be late if i don't stop this obsessive-compulsive posting....yuperz i'm outies fer real this time
~*vOltAriNa*~ *guess what i have nothin to say and shall now proceed to ramble!!* eeeech i jus realised i've not been rambling here much as of late, i've beeen soooo busy art-ing (gah! yoo guyz inspire me!) and other schtuffz! or i come online to post here but end up talkin on aim to sumone FROM here....sasha i reread that conversation we had last nite and drew this conclusion...we ish verrry cracked out.......well imma go visit my moomie an borrow money from her so i can sends out everyone's packkies (aren't i a lamer?!) so TTYL!!
may the spork of Bjork be wiff yoo,
voltareeenah
gah gah gah! i juss realised that i posted TWO MORE TIMES ON here after i told myself i would not post anymore right now cuz i'm in a hella hurry.....oh schnee there goes my bus....gah i missed my bus now cuz i wush soo buzy postin on here....YOO GUYS ARE ADDICTIVE! I LUFFZ YAH! but tis all oike cuz now i have more time to get ready to go......hmm imma wear my purple bunny earz today......
OH! and my mexican animal crackers have only TWO legs as opposed to the FIVE that american ones have...some wierd kind of symbolism i'm sure.....
*voltareeenuh*
"why are mexican animal crackers two-dimentional?
oooh i knowz whatcha means, when ya just simply NEED jelly cream pie, or one of those sickly sweet lil strawberry roll-up creme thingies....and yoo cannot find one, and eventually yoo are reduced to a sniveling *thing* that NEEDS a cream pie oh-for-the-luff-of-crackmonkeys-and-all-that-ish-holy give me SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!! and then yoo go outside and knock on the doors of all the houses on your block and go "hey do you have a cream pie" and they're like "umm no it's like 3 in the morning go away" and you go "phuck!" so yoo go to some more houses, and you say "jus gimme some sugar, heap it on me, stick it in my ears whatever, quick hurry hurry quick before i IMPLODE!" and they jus look at yoo and act like they're about to call the proper authorities to haul yoo away and THAT would be +narf+ vewwy bad (even tho i hear ya gets lotsa cookies in the loony bin...mmm chocolate chip) so anywayz yoo run to walmart and tear out your confettie bazooka and *bLaSt* everyone wiff it and there is much screaming and chaos and random disarray and then yoo reach into your pocket and go.....
"oh, i have a dollar. i think i'll buy a jelly cream pie."
*voltareeeeeeeeeeeeee*
*look ma, no clever witty signature!*
drink an drink an drink an drink an drink an drink an fight! oi!
sasha mah lil kali-esque bowl of Wheaties, what the phuck ish ya doin in my head?!?!? i sayz that allllllz the time....*the drink n fight thingie* an everyone is all "huh?" *blank stare* woot sumone understandzez what i ish talkin bout....i thinkies........erhm maybe not, maybe i am being videotaped rite now and broaddcasted to millions of people on network television, all yoo people have been put in here as chaos generators in my own personal sitcom-life...*looks around scared-ed-ly and sux on binky* ooooh no more crackage...or truman-show-type-movies......................
BUT do yah have sooper-dooper INSANITY baby powder that sprinkles confetti goodness? i thinksh not! *tosses baby powder everywhere*
*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*
*voltareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*
oi! violent femmes! oi! jesus christ superstar! oi!
why ish it that i have this ever-increasing feeling that all of ush are THE SAME PERSON THAT SOMEHOW TRANSMOGRIFIED INTO SEVERAL SEPERATE PEOPLES???
gah! boggles my mind!
*voltareee*
*luffz yoo all!*
gah! cuteness! i hff thweeee kitties, named Deimos, Titania, and Callisto (after moons of planets, their mother is named Orbit sos i though...hmm, orbit, planets, moons, kittens...yah i should stop thinking....damn dissociatives..makes me think things with no connection are intermixed somehow) speaking of oddities an co-ink-ee-dinks an dissociatives *schnee* my mumzie told me sumthin just plain farkin bizzarre today, did yoo know......that:
sometime a few days ago i think, some cop in new york got farkin drunk as phuck and drove around and ran into a car filled wiff people
AND
a *few minutes later* in *chicago* a cop got all pharkin drunk as phuck and drove around and ran over some guy?
oddities wierdness, seriously-phucked-up-ness!
*yoo are now entering...the twilight zone....*
*voltaree*
*jumps on star's leg and starts ballet-dancing in an orange sparkly tutu* ahhhh did that help?
gah! my mom just emailed me, she is bitching at me something about glitter.....quoting:
"I do hope you plan to vaccum your floor! There is glitter all over my house from you!"
but mommmm, i WANT glitter embedded in my floor, that way it gets on my feet when i walk, then i leave glitter footprints!!!!!
*shakes head*
parents just don't understand
*voltaree the silly peenk squirrel*
oie, i ish trying to gets all the pieces of the song together...so post your additions on this thread okie? and ooh we need a mascot too! maybe a purple ghetto toaster wiff popple glitter poo on it's squirrely shoe? ^_hmmmmm_^
**offishhul Kandie Kid Swap Board SOnG**
toasters toaster rox my sox like pantaloons!
toasters toaster rox my sox like pantaloons!
taco taco ghetto Spock-O
glitter luffs my mom!
powerpuff poptarts oi! oi! OI!
popple poo popple poo all around my purple shoe!
Star n sasha n the kandE goth boi! woot!
yo motha fucka weeeee! gonads and strife! gonads and strife!
gonads in the lightning! toasters in the rain!
add on everyone..........
~*vOltAriNa*~
....AND *weee all live in a Yellow Getto-Submarine"
a Yellow Ghetto Submarine-icus! i luff to add *-icus* to the ends of words! it all started when my friend stace burned the roof of sum dood's car wiff her ciggy and he was all like GAH! yellin at her so i said "dood....don't be an assohilicus maximus" and THEN we jus started appendin *-icus* to everything!
try it! it'sh phun!
luff-icus,
voltareeeeeee-icus
squink! gah! eep-ork-ooh-ah-ah! this board is degenerating into utter *FLURFFYNESCH* an i LUFFZ it!!! mwahahahahahahaahah!
toasters toasters rox my sox like pantaloons! taco taco ghetto spock-O glitter luffs my mom! powerpuff potars oi! OI! OI! popple poo popple poo all around my purple shoe........gah i cannnote remember what else ish in the song! someone fixie it for me, i ish to lazy to go back n find everything at the moment...:p..................crack-icus squirrel-icus submarine-icus! hooray!!!!! *gonads in the lightning, toasters in the rain* +:+tosses glitter everywhere, hands a strychnine-coated kittykat fetus to sasha, and ohmigod wheeeeeeeee! and lazer? and jumps about on her BRAND NEW ART COFFIN FROM SCHTAR!+:+
ahhh.....chill pill time........*squink*...............nighties everyone.............
*voltareeeeee-icus*
*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*
doooood....the coffins weird me out....i was talkin about em with my boi for like a gazillion years yesterday..i mean it's cute and neat and all BUT WHO THE FARK ISH GONNA SEE YOUR COFFIN AFTER YOU'RE BURIED? i mean gah! what superfluousness! it's not like yoo care what you cofffin loox like when you're dead....nopers you're off on a cloud sumwhere in Krishna conciousness smokin a hooka while a llama fans you with palm fronds or whatever........but yeah anyways, star the whole art-coffin thingie inspired me to beg my mums to buy me a coffin, so i can decorate my own coffin before i die, ishn't that just MORBID..............squeee!
coffin-icuz-luffz-icuz-wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
vollie
okie i was just goin thru a box of old skool assignments...and i found some from my hi-skool German class.....and the name i pikked for myschelf in German class wa Waltraud (pronounced val-trow-d) so i've been callin my self Waltraud today :D and it just occured to me that even though i took a lotta German classes i can only remember very odd pieces of useless fragmented german.....Ich Bein Das Eimer (I Am The Bucket) like that is the only farkin thing i remember to say in German cept like3 or 4 other things...gah all that time in German class at skool and all i can say is I Am The Bucket.....sad
*volieeeeeeewheeeeeWaltraud*
ah! muh sexxie lil poptart kali-poo! i fell asleep at like 9:00 last nite.....i thinksh i wuz tired from all the crackage i've been shmokin lately......but i shall deffie be on tonite!
oooo! gah! yoo sened out pakkiepakkiez fer meee? *joy* *jumps around excitedly* *prays to the almightly Saints Of Pacckies thet they don't get losted in tha mail* hooooray!!!! yours are goin out in the mornin, they are sittin here allllll ready o go.....heheh all five of em, maybe i'll jus put em in one huge boxie....noo i thinksh i shall just send em out seperately...piss of your post-orfice-delivery-person teehee so they start carryin around an AK-47 in a violin case and shootin up random walmsrts..........and i was like ohmigodwheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D
*vollie!*
ooh....run lola run....my favoritest movie...well one of them...i luff luff luff foreign movies.....yoo should all see "dream life with angels" and "see the sea"...very nifty-o french movies....
gah sowwie i no postie here yestahday....i was asleepies.....musta been tired from mucho crackage smokie....me an joshooah went to the store and harassed/molested/entertained passerby....i kept yelling "gonads! strife!" an josh-ooo-ah would say "i gots yer gonads rite here! ahoyyyyyyyyyyyy" and put two cantaloupes where gonads would presumably be...then i told everyone we saw that josh-ooo-ah wuz a poptart and he kept going "NO I AM NOT A POPTART!!!!" and twitching....then we pretended to haff Terrets for a while....ooooh phun! an then i gave him a blowjob in the cough-n-cold medice aisle...okie no i didn't really do that last part...but hey it sounded good.....AND we got it all on tape.....i shall letcha all see it......also my webshite ish almost uppie, it will be called ShivaTheGlitteryGhettoKittenWheee...i jus need a place to host it....any ideas?
*don't phuck wiff me, i'll shoots yah wiff my hello kittie gun.....yo muthaphuckawheeeeeeeee*
voliie-icus
gah! i thinkie we all gave each other coldz sumhow lol! cuz now Voltareee ish a BIG SNUFFALUFFAGUSH! i haff been +schneeeeezin+ all nite..........or maybe it's not a cold....it's prolly all the stray glitter in the air
"eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecccccccccchhhhhhhhhkkkk"