A song by Bruce
This is a song of Bruce's Shame-based man cd. This is my favorite song on the whole cd. Its about Kirt Cobain's death.
Vigil.
I don't know what a vigil is, i have some idea though that it involves candles, the lighting of candles, the making and breaking of eye-contact, sad shrugs and words that aren't like "takk, ahh."
I've never been to a vigil, i've never been to a funeral.
Well, I've been to some bad parties that people say reminded them of funerals.
The closest thing to a vigil: 3 turtles i flushed down the toliet in 1973.
A vigil isn't even a funeral, its like going to a drive-in with no screen.
And i've never been to a bad party that people said reminded them of a vigil.
We all get through life scathed and unscathed in our own ways.
Growing up, i owned four toyotas that were in a total of 15 crashes, but never a vigil.
The bluest skies i ever seen weren't in Seattle.
The greenest hills i've ever seen weren't in Seattle.
When i arrive in that coastal town, there was only...shades of gray.
I arrived in seattle 90 minutes prior to the vigil.
I hate to admit it, but for a selfish confused instant i thought the attention might have been about me,
The same way i felt when i saw those kids who lined the hotel lobby in winnepieg.
I thought to myself "oh great, i've got to go through a ganlet of hockey jacket teens, holding pens, screaming 'my peeennn, my peenn!'"
But they were not there for me.
They did not return MY fake smile.
They were there for the king, the king in the big LA kings bus, that pulled up minutes after our van.
The hockey players got out, suits on, broken noses, farm-born millionaires.
And last, came Gretsky.
Little, long hair, alone, and powerful. Like mother Thersa most have look in her thirties.
Our Seattle van driver told me a good place to eat steak, that he had driven Kirt on New Years eve, and that he was really messed up.
But they always say that.
Whoever they drive, anywhere, ever is always really messed up, which means they were probably just quiet or thinking about something.
I could just see two girls in a Seattle suburb.
If Seattle had suburbs, i didn't know, i had just arrived, i hadn't even eaten my steak yet...
I could just see two girls in a Seattle Suburb:
"well, what are you going to wear to the Vigil?"
"well, Black, of course, well, What would you want me to wear?"
That's the point.
In my room, I just stared into the distance..ok, alright, I watched tv.
I was torn between my own sleep, and going down to the square.
i just didn't know if i was in the mood to see beautiful 17 year old children in dreadlocks, white hippies celebrating dark death.
cycism is my whiskey, and i had a few.
so, the other two guys going to get a new singer, Robert plant could use a job.
Would the square be full if he had simply slipped on a small hotel soap and gargalled his tounge and gone?
What if it wasn't a beautiful, blue eyed , black hearted, blonde haired boy?
What if it had been someone like erin nevle?
Don't get me wrong, if someone sad and crazy had done something hidious and left a lot of stronger people behind, there was not a lot else to be said.
And the next day, i went for a run along the ocean, well along an asplhat path along the ocean, and 20 mintues in i stopped along some wood, you know planks, that someone had made to spell, bye kirt.
i took a breath, looked up at seattle and wondered...what didn't he see?
and if i've ever been to a vigil, i guess that...was it.
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