Say It: I'm Hot!
I think we've all seen that one incredibly sexy, attractive, magnetic woman.
What's special about her is that we can't figure out why she's sexy. You probably saw her in high school; perhaps she had a huge nose, a chest so flat it was almost concave, or she was just really fat. But all the guys wanted her, fantasized about her, made bets on who could get her to go to prom with them.
The girls often had mixed reactions to her, but the ladies were definitely wondering what it was she had that they didn't, and it was a monstrously frustrating question.
They tried to pick out a specific physical characteristic, like her shimmering fall of blonde hair, long eyelashes, or even her manicured nails. But it wasn't something physical. There's a male counterpart to this girl, by the way, in case you can't remember having seen a girl like this.
You may have met more than one of these remarkable creatures in your lifetime. Try and remember what identifying characteristic it was that gave them this extra edge. They were all unique, of course, but what was it that they had in common? Perhaps it was the way they were always perfectly groomed and well-dressed. Perhaps it was how they carried themselves with their chin up and their shoulders back. Perhaps it was that they seemed somehow unattainable yet kind and there was a vibe about them that said "I deserve someone who's going to treat me well."
What do these things signify? Confidence, and lots of it. Self-esteem is what gives these people their unique radiance. It's better than any beauty crème, workout regimen, designer clothing, or new hair style. Strive to attain it!
I admit I haven't quite pulled it off. But I have improved my self-esteem through a bunch of little tricks. I've listed my trade secrets below.
Make a journal of all the compliments you get. If you write down every compliment you get and who it's from, you'll be surprised how quickly your list grows.
Use a bunch of candlelight in your bedroom. Candlelight makes everybody look sexy.
Don't wear clothes that hide your body. Wear clothes that flatter your body.
Exercise. It'll make you healthier. If you're healthier, your body will serve you better, and you'll appreciate your body more.
Go ahead. Have some Ben and Jerrys. You need the endorphins.
Whatever body type you have, whether it's flat-chested and curveless, muscular, really fat, bottom heavy, or pot bellied, it was once in fashion. At some point in time your body was the epitome of beauty. In ancient Rome hard-bodied babes were the thing, flat chests were all the rage in the 1920's, bottom heavy was (is) highly admired in many regions of Africa, fat was good stuff at several different points in both European and African history, ect. Find your time period, find art from it, and put this art up on your wall. If you have flattering examples of your body type painted in a loving, attractive light in your environment you can't help but start thinking you look pretty good.
Be sensual. Indulge your senses: light some incense, eat some strawberries, listen to some relaxing music, and take a bubble bath. This will help you to appreciate the many things your body allows you to enjoy.
Surround yourself with supportive people.
Surround yourself with friends who are confident in themselves or who are putting forth a real effort to achieve self-love.
Compliment other people. It makes you feel good to know you can make others feel good.
Wear sexy underwear all the time. Wear a teddy under your clothes on one of those days when you really need the ego boost. No more ratty panties.
Read a romance novel with a fat heroine.
Trash anything in your closet that doesn't make you look absolutely fantastic. Keep two baggy pants and two baggy shirts just for those really lazy days, but throw away everything else. If that only leaves you with three clothing items, well, at least you'll always look dang good in those clothes. Now you can go shopping!
Get a fat hero. I have a list of fat role models you can look over, or you can choose a family member or a friend you admire. Keep in mind that your hero may fail you, because they're human. They might go on a diet, or say something about wanting to be thinner. If they do mourn them, then ditch them and get a new hero who respects herself.
Repeat some kind of cocky phrase to yourself every day. I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says "When God made me, He was showing off."
Make a boy journal. This can also double as your compliment journal I mentioned earlier. Every whistle, every provocative glance, every guy (or chick) you could just tell wanted a piece of you -- write it down. Don't bother yourself with "Oh, well, maybe I was wrong..." A woman's instincts are an amazing thing.
NEVER, EVER waste time with a man who doesn't love every little freckle and indentation on your body. EVER! NEVER! Did I mention NEVER?!
Dance. If you're an atrocious dancer, do it while your alone, or take a dance class, or go to a night club and try to copy the moves of good dancers. There's nothing like closing your eyes and letting the rhythm take your body (even if you, like myself, are really, really white.)
Get some professionally taken portraits of yourself. Don't be afraid to frame one and put it on your wall, to remind you just how babe-a-licious you can be.
Get your nails done, you hair cut and highlighted, slather on some self-tanner, go to a makeup counter and get a makeover. Take the time to look your best. Don't do it for your man or anybody else. Do it just for you.
Links Go to my pimpin' links for an ego boost.
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Email: ericaherron@hotmail.com