THE JEFF LOG INC. APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
Note:
This application will be rejected unless filled out in its entirety and signed on the bottom.Name______________________________________Date of Birth__________________
Address_____________________________________City_________________________
State______Zip_____________Favorite #______Least Favorite #________________
Height______Weight______I.Q.______G.P.A.(if applicable)________Eye Color_________
Position Applying for______________________Date Available to start_____________
Do you know HTML? ___yes ____no Do you know who “the Jeff” is? __yes __no
Do you have one male parent and one female parent? ____yes ____no
-If no explain in detail:__________________________________________
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Are you a Minnesota Vikings fan? ___yes ____no
-If so will you mock and ridicule “the Jeff” if the Vikings lose? ___yes ___no
Church you attend_____________________Pastor’s name___________________
When would be a good time for The Jeff Log to interview your pastor? ______________
Do you own a van? ___yes ___no Do you own a truck with oversized tires? __yes __no
Do you own a cat? ___yes ___no Do you own a water bed? ____yes ___no
SCHOOL INFORMATION
Did you attend High School? ___yes ___no Do you have a Diploma? _____yes ____no
- If so where:_____________________________________________________
Did you attend Elementry School? ____yes ____no
If yes where/ If no explain:__________________________________________
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Did you attend any post-secondary schools? ____yes ____no
-If yes please list the school and the highest level achieved: __________________
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REFERENCES
References are not needed to apply, but we at the Jeff Log do reserve the right to ask for up to 37 references if we see the need.
GENERAL INFORMATION
If you were to fly somewhere, what airline would you fly on?_______________________
Are you a frequent flyer for any airlines? ____yes ___no
-If so list: _________________________________________________________
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Have you ever served in any armed forces? ___yes ___no
-If so explain:_______________________________________________________
What do you want to be IF you grow up? ______________________________________
What is the one thing you hope this application does not ask? ______________________
Would you have objections to us running a background check on you? __yes __no
-If yes explain: _____________________________________________________
Would you have objections to a pre-employment drug screening? ___yes ___no
-If yes explain:______________________________________________________
Are you under the influence of any controlled substance illegal or otherwise? ___yes __no
-If yes explain (list what): _____________________________________________
In 50 words or less what do you feel you can bring to the Jeff Log , Inc?
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In 50 words or less what does the word “Jeff” do to your emotions?
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In 50 words or less please explain what you feel The Jeff Log, Inc. is about.
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In 50 words or less please describe the place where you would not want to get shot.
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In 50 words or less, explain your talents that are important to this application.
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In 50 words or less, explain every traffic ticket you have ever experienced.
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Have you ever been convicted of a felony? _____yes _____no
-If yes explain_________________________________________________
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Do you have a checking account? _____yes _____no savings? ___ yes ____no
Do you own a home? ___yes ___no
What salary do you want to start at? ____________________________
What is your mother’s first name? _______________________________
EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
Please List in the space provided below all jobs you have had in the past, starting with the most recent. List your job title, supervisor and his/her phone #, address of employer, dates employed, salary (starting and ending), duties performed, and your reason for leaving. Please list them neatly below in that order.
In 50 words or less please list any other information that you feel is pertinent to your emplyment here at the Jeff Log, Inc.
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Are you sure you want us to consider you for this job? ___yes ___no
-If no explain in detail: _________________________________________
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If you were to have broken bones, what bone would you want to be broken last?____
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What is the first thing you look for in an employer? ___________________________
(if it is benefits and good pay you are advised to put your pen down and walk out slowly)
Do you know what the word drone means? __yes __no
Do you know what the word yammer means? ___yes ___no
Do you care about grammar? ____yes ___no
I swear, being of sound mind, that all information supplied in the pages above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge at this juncture. I do understand that signing this today gives the Jeff Log, Inc., the right to a full background check, credit check, and any other check that they see fit for employment. I also understand that the screening process is extremely intense and that the likeliness that I will get the job is about as good of a chance as getting The Vikings to win the Super Bowl, or even to the Super Bowl. I also understand that any misinformation that I have stated above will have penalties including, but not limited to: death, dismemberment, crucifixion, electrocution, drowning, falling off bridges, Chinese water torture, $100,000 fine and or 5 years in prison, or red-hot branding.
Signature of Applicant___________________________________________Date_______
Thank you for your interest in working at the Jeff Log. Please return all applications to 6425 Co. Rd 30 #123, St. Bonifacius, MN 55375. Please allow 4-6 weeks for processing. Please do not attempt to call or write. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. In the event of rejection, 2 gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases will contact you. The Jeff Log is an equal opportunity application rejecter.
