1) 40-ish............................. 48
2) Adventurer......................... Has had more partners than you ever will
3) Athletic........................... Flat-chested
4) Average looking.................... Ugly
5) Beautiful.......................... Pathological liar
6) Contagious Smile................... Bring your penicillin
7) Educated........................... College dropout
8) Emotionally Secure................. Medicated
9) Feminist........................... Fat; b*llbuster
10) Free spirit....................... Substance user
11) Friendship first.................. Trying to live down reputation as slut
12) Fun............................... Annoying
13) Gentle............................ Comatose
14) Good Listener..................... Borderline Autistic
15) New-Age........................... All body hair, all the time
16) Old-fashioned..................... Lights out, missionary position only
17) Open-minded....................... Desperate
18) Outgoing.......................... Loud
19) Passionate........................ Loud
20) Poet.............................. Depressive Schizophrenic
21) Professional...................... Real Witch
22) Redhead........................... Shops the Clairol section
23) Reubenesque....................... Grossly Fat
24) Romantic.......................... Looks better by candle light
25) Voluptuous........................ Very Fat
26) Weight proportional to height..... Hugely Fat
27) Wants Soulmate.................... One step away from stalking
28) Widow............................. Nagged first husband to death
29) Young at heart.................... Toothless crone
1) 40-ish............................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
2) Athletic........................... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
3) Average looking.................... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
4) Educated........................... Will always treat you like an idiot
5) Free Spirit........................ Sleeps with your sister
6) Friendship first................... As long as friendship involves nudity
7) Fun................................ Good with a remote and a six pack
8) Good looking....................... Arrogant
9) Honest............................. Pathological Liar
10) Huggable.......................... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
11) Like to cuddle.................... Insecure, overly dependent
12) Mature............................ Until you get to know him
13) Open-minded....................... Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
14) Physically fit.................... I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring myself
15) Poet.............................. Has written on a bathroom stall
16) Spiritual......................... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
17) Stable............................ Occasional stalker, but never arrested
18) Thoughtful........................ Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Back to Mind Scrap *P*.
