Jan. 09, 2002 6:14 p.m.
Damn, I hate being me sometimes. I envy Aaron, right now, cause he has the one person that I thought that I had feelings for but not really, and I do. I mean yes I am going to stand my ground and be a man about this and not interfere with there relationship. I am writing this 'cause I went over to Marty's house (Lindsey's) with "Lil' Bob." We didn't really talk about anything important, but when she pretended to beat me up I suddenly remembered why I care about her so much. And Aaron if you are reading this I want you to know that I would not try anything. That is not the way I am. I mean I care about Lindsey in a slightly deep sense, but I would never make a move on her. Plus, she probably don't feel the same way.
Then there is another girl that I like also that is taken and I don't want to say her name, 'cause Brandon sounds like he wants to know who she is real bad. So, out of spite I am not going to say her name. You know who you are, well sort of. I told her before that I did. Here I am going to call her Jane Doe. Well, Jane Doe don't worry, 'cause like I said before I am not going to interfer in your relationship. I am not even going to act upon how I feel. I think you are a great person, and I also think that no matter what the circomstances I think I still would go out with you. I say this 'cause I think you that you deserve better than me. I know you say that I am a great guy and that thats not true, but that is how I feel. You guys are probably wondering what happened with Carly? I lost interest in her about as fast as I started liking her. I mean fuck, I was told she likes me so much that she pretty much talked about me all the time. And when I asked her out she just came up with I don't know and the second time she said I am not sure. After that, I just felt all interest in her fanish into thin air. I mean, I do sort of have some interest in her, but not to ask her out again. I was
suppose to today, but I thought that I am not going to waste the time and effort in it. So far, it got me nowhere so why even waste the energy.
This is the end of a another beautiful chapter in my life. Yeah right!
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