laughter on the cove
as I start to sink
then I'm on the beach
washed up
like a dead fish
it's hard to breathe
the air's so thick
the smoke's too much
makes me close my eyes:
                                            mother on a couch
                                            pregnant head
                                            resting
                                            on his knees bouncing
                                            up and down to the beat
                                            while the small dark person
                                            shivers in a corner
                                            the live scratching sounds
                                            just never want to end, and

        (this recurring dream
        standing hip-deep in water
        gaze fixed dead ahead
        disquiet arises
        at the edge of my vision
        something - alive perhaps - is moving
        can't tell what it is
        why does it seem so familiar
        i just know i don't want to see it
        i just know that whatever i do
        i mustn't turn around and-
        and i'm starting to turn
        and i'm shivering
        and i'm moaning
        and tears are rolling
        wanna close my eyes-

and instead of closing my eyes open
I awaken as always
before seeing what's on the water
as if I don't really want to know
as if to save me some pain

and now, my eyes still heavy with sleep
I see them lurching toward me slowly
coming out of the liquid depths while I stand,
petrified to the spot
cold darkness encircles me
and as my entire body begins to quake
a fleeting thought crosses my mind:
 I'm an abandoned boat
 on a river.
 I float aimlessly to parts unknown
 not knowing what I'm heading for
 and not caring in the least,
                              until now

because suddenly something grabs me
and belatedly I try to escape
but rubbery hands cover my body
pulling me in every direction
echoes of laughter as they drag me
kicking and screaming to the Styx
their faces stretching endlessly, for miles
offering no solace for my soul
pulling me to the place I will stand
knowing that something terrible lies
just beyond the edge of my vision,
only this time I know
I'll come full circle.