In the beginning, there was a man named Adam. He was gay, for he had a full brain and smart. God saw how lonely Adam was with himself so he made woman, Eve. He took a rib and half a brain from Adam and gave it to Eve. The part of the brain that was taken was the part that liked guys. Therefore Adam is no longer gay and Eve likes guys. God left the reasoning skills in Adam's brain. Therefore women will act upon their instincts and yell about them without thinking it through.
Now the rib that we gave Eve was cracked. This caused severe and abnormal pain/bleeding once every month. You see when women were 1st made(before they got our brain and rib) they were built just like men. When our rib was put in them, it pushed the fat from their stomach into their chest and the fat from their back was formed into their butt. This enticing sight allowed women to control and manipulate men(except for the blind).
What else happened as a result of the rib being placed in women you ask? We will tell you. At 1st women had the same reproductive organs as men. God needed a way to put the rib in and there was only one logical opening(from below). He pushed their reproductive organs up inside them, therefore inverting them to the exact opposite of man.
Eve had a low self esteem, but why? What could she have been afraid of that would make her cover her face up with powdery, liquidy substances? There is only one reason possible. Adam was the first male to say something stupid to a woman(i've proven he wasn't the last). He was not use to seeing women so he made a comment about her looking different(it was an honest mistake like ALL men make, except the gay ones).
Speaking of gays, we haven't told you how they originated. They refused to give God part of their brain. God looked down upon this act of betrayal and so he condemned them to hell and told bad stories about the in the Bible.
Now why are some men so irrational as women? (i.e. Osama bin Laden, Hitler, Barney and friends) We are led to believe that their anger is caused by a portion of the rib God took out was left inside them. This caused them to have some of the same attrbutes as women(the annoying pissy parts).
This is all the information we have for now. Thank you once again for not cussing at us and filing lawsuits against Pete and Clinton. If you have any positive information that may help us in understanding women please put it in our guest book and we will consider it.
