"I wish my feet were made of Teflon." -agent lancewolfe
(when trying to solve the problem of sand between the toes at the beach.)

"testicles should be pronounced 'TESTI-CLEES'. It's greek." - project dan
(on the subject of genitalia pronunciation.)

"when you ask project dan to name a random word suddenly, he tends to pause and his eyes get really big…he'll give you an answer a minute or two later and then disappear out of the room." -agent lain

"…and then come back and say, 'HEEEEEEY'…as if you did something wrong. He walked out of the room again." -agent lain

"it would all be a lot better if we all agreed to stop wearing pants." - project dan

"I love to poop…and eat. But I can't poop unless I eat. Ergo, it's questionable which I love more. It's like the age old question about which came first, the chicken or yentil (the movie with Barbra Streisand.)" - T-diddy

"poopin'. Who's it gonna hurt?" - project dan

"will anyone ever be able to decide which is better? Bagels with butter and jelly OR bagels with cream cheese and jelly." -agent lain

"do you ever do something alone that feels really cool, but once someone walks into the room and is experiencing what you are experiencing…you realize it's the geekiest thing on the face of the planet and you just want to curl up and die, drowning in your own reservoir of geekiness?" - project dan

"I actually have been known to enjoy this season, I can get quite misty eyed when thinking of Christmas, I love it, it can be a good season, but then again Nixon could be a good president at times." -agent lancewolfe
(on the subject of the holidays)

"if I were a horrible affliction, I would be: syphilis. BOOYAH!" -puppyboy

"the best show on late night TV has got to be Swap n' Shop. Where else can you learn about useless community activities and buy a set of four tires for $5 a pop, listen to horrible muzak and be amused because they spelled 'suzuki' s-u-k-u-k-i." -agent lain

"inanimate objects are only inanimate when we're not looking at them." -project dan

"oh, come on guys…rat chicken is funny. It is!!!" -puppyboy
(on the subject of rat-chicken)

"no, it's not. (looks of disapproval ensue.)" -the agency
(in response to puppyboy's plea.)

"HUNGRY~~!!! Withering away~~~." -agent lain & project dan
(from Hunger- the musical, written by agent lain and project dan)

"pick up lines always sound better in your head. For example, 'hey, would you like to tickle my pickle?'" -project dan

"JEEBUS CRISPIX!" -agent lain & agent lancewolfe
(on the subject of the savior that dares to stay crunchy in milk!)

"Mrah mraah mrah mrah. Mraaaah mrah mraaaah. Mrah mrah mraaaaah. Mraah mrah mrah mrah. Mr. Mrah Mr. Mraaah mrah mraaah mraaah. Mrraah mrah mrah. Mraaaaaaaaah. Mraah mraah mraah mrah mrah. Mraaah mraah mr mrah. mraah? Mrah." -puppyboy

'mlant: n./ a man plant." -somethingawful.com

"Thom Yorke is so cute. I just wish he didn't have that lazy eye…project dan's father claims that it's because he's on drugs. We'd like to think he just has a lazy eye." -agent lain

"to exist is to do the impossible with every breath. as long as we do that, we are free to do anything." -project dan

"*lots of screaming, laughing, and cigarette smoke*" -project dan, agent lain, agent lancewolfe
(on the subject of painting a theatre space bubblegum pink and highlighter yellow.)

"…and we were there…doing this impossible." -agent lain

"welcome to farcical land!" -project dan, agent lain, agent lancewolfe
(on the subject of the color combination of bubblegum pink and highlighter yellow.)

"A flexible unreliable sleep schedule allows for a nice healthy level of insanity." -puppyboy

"SCATWOMAN!!!!"-agent lancewolfe
(on the subject of random scat breakouts.)

"My friends are like a nice cozy diner to come back to whenever the cold outside gets to me. It's less necessary to fight whilst drinking coffee." -puppyboy

"Dogs don't get sarcasm." -agent lancewolfe

"heeeeeeey!" -T-diddy

"Oh yeah, and the diner would have wheels whenever we wanted to see a movie or something." -puppyboy

"The internet is going to make me fat and happy." -puppyboy

"Does that mean you could fry eggs on your feet?"-agent lain
(on the subject of Teflon feet.)

"you can never watch fight club too many times." -agent lancewolfe

"Tonight I have found no soap opera better than the ones posted on the news. What a sad reality." -puppyboy

"frat boys (chuckle)…they're dumb." -agent lain

"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade…unless, of course, you're allergic to citrus…in which case you die." -agent lancewolfe

"It's funny how being kidnapped and tied to a chair makes you overanalyze your life." -project dan

"There is beauty in life, unfortunately it's like loose change in a couch, you need to actually make an effort to find it." -agent lancewolfe

"I'm a little confused about the English language. Correct me if I'm wrong for thinking this way. The plural of mouse is mice…but the plural of house is houses…why not hice? Or mouses?…and I'm not even gonna get into the letter P in pneumonia. (shudder)" -agent lain

"I don't need any witty banter right now, Ed. Can you please go away?" -project dan
(on the subject of alternate personalities)

"and now…for some of t-diddy's antics…" -agent lain
(on the subject of the T-diddy flash movie.)

"Just be yourself. Girls appreciate honesty." -project dan

"LAN (Local Area Network) is like flan (the Spanish pudding) without the Fffffff." -agent lain, agent lancewolfe

"My eyes are aflame with occular goodness." -agent lain
(on the subject of staring at a computer screen for too long)

"G.E.E.K stands for Global Extermination (phonetic) E...(long pause)...Knowledge." -agent lain, agent lancewolfe

"Quiche!" -agent lancewolfe

"That was brilliant, agent!" -agent lain
(on the subject of finding words that start with the letter Q)

"Puppyboy works for S.W.I.F.T...which stands for Scientific Wildlife Investigative (phonetic) F...(long pause)...Terrarium." -agent lancewolfe

"I'm gonna call you sugar pants!" -agent lain
(on the subject of agent lancewolfe spilling sugar on his pants)

"Did i tell you about..." -agent lancewolfe

"Wait...yes, i did." -agent lancewolfe

"make sure to love someone...and be loved...hate someone...and be hated. just don't be indifferent." -agent lain