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&lt;P ALIGN=CENTER&gt;&lt;FONT SIZE=5&gt;Breaking News..&lt;BR&gt; 
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Wermuda Triangle: Mystery Solved?&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT SIZE=4&gt;&lt;BR&gt; 
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&lt;P&gt; A researcher in Germany may have unravelled one of the more enigmatic modern mysteries of our time.&lt;BR&gt; 
Back in 1992, when days were generally longer and things less complicated, the sad loss of a holiday camcorder was felt at the time as nothing more than absent minded stupidity. This loss or theft barely raised a moustache in the offices at downtown &lt;A HREF=&quot;http://www.fc-hanau93de/&quot;&gt;&lt;FONT COLOR=&quot;#0000DD&quot;&gt;&lt;U&gt;Hanau &lt;/A&gt;&lt;/U&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;Police station. But now a scientist at Karlfurt Universitat of Modern Sciences claims this incident was merely part of a much wider series of phenomena, known locally as &amp;#147;The Wermuda Triangle Effect&amp;#148;.&lt;BR&gt; 
As more and more stories are surfacing,the 10 year anniversary of these strange events approaches, the locals are nervous. Something went on here. Talk of rituals and excess abound, fornication and magic.&lt;BR&gt; 
&lt;A HREF=&quot;http://www.werderwoodhouse.com&quot;&gt;&lt;FONT COLOR=&quot;#0000DD&quot;&gt;&lt;U&gt; F.C Werder Woodhouse&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/U&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt; travelled here from the UK to attend a normal football tournament, for &amp;#147;..a few quiet beers and a bit of genteel banter&amp;#148;. Many here believe they were the catalyst for a series of events that sent shock waves rippling through this sleepy German hamlet.&lt;BR&gt; 
Fresh on foreign soil, the bizarre was never far away. Players would literally disappear in the opponents half, only to return dazed and confused. Others would just sit and stare, as if transfixed by another world. Player-manager Robert Murphy complained that his balance was affected, Gordon Macintosh simply complained. Leading Feng-shui expert, Otte Willie tells us:&amp;#148;..this whole area is mapped by powerful ley-lines. When two line converge, an axis of power is formed&amp;#148;. Eyewitness reports of &amp;#147;Das pulsing&amp;#148; emanating from a tartan tent. One such triangle can be found on the football pitch by the corner flag, Otte explains, and significant numbers of people camped so close would have disrupted energy flows on this ancient site, causing a short circuit in the earth&amp;#146;s grid, triggering the bizarre events in our town.&lt;BR&gt; 
This following simple graph should illustrate the important details:&lt;BR&gt; 
&lt;BR&gt; 
Small things at first, at the local Toon Markt groceries began disappearing and a 22yr old British woman was incarcerated and branded a witch. In nearby woods at Rodenbach, this time a man disappeared out of a railway carriage window.&lt;BR&gt; 
&amp;#147;you can not rule out these forces..&amp;#148; explains local man Herr Thorsten, &amp;#147;..Strange ritual may have been the trigger. Certainly running naked around these powerful grids does raise more questions than I can answer&amp;#148;. When police attended a small Bierhalle they were astonished by what they think they saw: &amp;#147;We asked a man to exit the telephone box for our enquires, and they just didn&amp;#146;t stop coming. I counted 8 persons. It was like a tardis out there and I half expected Dr Was? to pop out and &amp;#145;Was ist das?&amp;#146; me&amp;#148;. Others too recall this phenomena, tournament organiser Elmer Phule takes up the story:&amp;#148;..I was at the bar, and there was definitely only 4 fucking barmen. Next thing I know, there&amp;#146;s 18 of &amp;#145;em and no fucking drinkers!&amp;#148;&lt;BR&gt; 
Maybe its coincidence, but across town at one of Europe's&amp;#146; largest international airports, Frankfurt was also experiencing the weired..here officials reported nothing that night, but off the record staff talk of airlines receiving phantom bookings on their computers, mysterious damage to their equipment and oily residues on the floors. No one was seen or heard, despite being one of the busiest and most secure airports in Europe. Grainy security footage is inconclusive, but what looks like a monkey (possibly Rhesus Islanders) can be seen tearing down a huge flag hanging from a 60 ft flagpole in the middle of the night. Everyone is baffled. Dokter Herman Mark at the Wayne-Fuhrt MediKal Center, likens these events to a virus (Werder), entering the host body (Hanau), producing an uncontrollable range of symptoms. Euphoria and delusions of grandeur,manic and lewd behaviour. Temporary loss of mobility, speech and cohesion. 
"This is not something we can control. Werderitis is constantly mutating and notoriously difficult to contain. Whatever we do, Werderitis seems to win".
However, where conventional medicine sees only conflict, Offenbach Homeopath Sebastian Pink reflects that..."..this virus has a positive effect on people of all ages. Sure there is crazy, but what life without crazy? People seem happier after a dose." A mood echoed by delighted local brewers who offer yet more insight into events like these: "We have seen it all before, sure not quite like this, but y'know I think its the beer talking".
Religious leaders are sceptical about talk of the Second Coming, when a pink chariot followed a star to an innkeepers quarters in holy Hanau. With no room available, they turned to the lowly shed at Metzgerstrasse where the mythical figure of Wayne was born. Many folk were caught up in the ferver of the time, exhalting Him in the streets, in the town, in the countryside - He was here, He was there, He was everywhere. Miracles like the spiriting away of passports from within Police HQ after parents at a Troisdorf school arrived to find players and pupils babbling in tongues. Investigators could find no trace of evidence and finally exasperated, traded passports and liberty for the sake of their sanity, thus saving the local townsfolk from this weired Wayneness. Remarkable footballing victories by the Werder Woodhouse football team, also remain unexplained. Meike, a tournament regular wonders with the rest of us:"..when a trophy is broken and all seems lost, weeks later the crucial nut reappears hundreds of miles away like magic, how can a team like that win year after year. What do I tell my kids?"
I think this is one slice of a many layered cake. Like a giant jigsaw puzzle scattered across Europe, maybe the camcorder is the final piece - find that and all will be revealed. As they say here in Hanau," shwarze ist wiess unt weiss ist schwarze, das ist mein auspuft, was ist das?"
So is these strange goings on set to continue when a future short-circuit is expected in June at the Hanau Football Tournier? Police are confident they can now deal with any eventuality, although turning a blind eye is usually the accepted policy. People wait with a mixture of expectation and trepidation, as no real answers surface, there is no known antidote. Come what may in June, things will never be the same.

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