(if you don't like the way this page is set up, you can suck it.)
"Everything is fine?"..."Everything is Fine." "Man, I really wish I would've taken ALGEBRA instead of the CHAIR BANGING class..." "That was WAY too much Caffiene."
MATT: "To have a voice like that [the movie announcer from the previews], he's got to like, carry his gonads around in a wheelbarrow!"
Fate really has a way of screwing me every time something good happens... It sounds sad and self-pitying, but it's actually kind of funny. Dan's Doug Impression
Chickenomics
My dad's "punishments"... "If you don't start using your cell-phone, I'm going to take it away!"
Gravy
Stupid teachers who get me in trouble for finishing my work to fast
The 80's
Beating Greg
"There's one of them 'fromicidal' maniacs on the loose"... "Uh, I think you mean 'homicidal'." "Well, hold on, let me check my dictionotomy!"
Every now and then, when I pass gothic people who wear all black and all that makeup and have really nasty hair in hallways, I think to myself: "Man, what a freak..." Then immediately after that I think: "NO WAIT! They might be able to read my mind with some kind of dark power!"
"I know what you've been doing in your car... I did harder drugs in the SEVENTIES!!!" --my dad.
Me and Matt's sign language for eating mexican food.
What do you think the worst word is? I think it's probably Applicable, because if you pronounce it correctly, it has like, freaking FOUR difficult syllables.
"Since when have you ever taken ME seriously"... "Well, YOU have feelings, right?"... "No."
The circle of life
"What did you do with all your lunch money?"... "I spent it at a Mexican Restaraunt [Mely's], why?"... "I looked in your wallet and there was only $3 in there!"... "What were you doing in my wallet?"... "Looking for condoms."..."Why, did you need one?" --conversation between me and my father
"Don't interrupt me when I'm doing my art or you'll destroy my future."
I could have gone my whole life without knowing girls actually DO go #2.
On Kazaa, when you look at movies that say, "This is the entire LOTR movie" and you hover over it and it's only 12kb.
"Why you come to Iraq my main man?"
Asian people that try to be cool by acting like a MAD crazy black person with their stupid cars being all jacked up. I call these guys Riceboys HOME