An Interview With Scott Swingle of Wallyworldlife.com

1. To me, your web page is like a cross between "The Diary of Anne Frank" (because of the inexplicable sense of impending doom) and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (for the obvious reasons). Could you give a little summary of your page and what itīs about for readers who are unfamiliar with www.wallyworldlife.com ?

The webpage was started as an outlet for me channel my hostilities for my job. It is pretty much one big web blog, but it was started before the whole blog phenomenon kicked in. It just basically covers the day to day events that one person can encounter at Wally World, and gives you an idea of how sick and sad our society can operate sometimes. I just try to find the most humor in it as possible.

2. On your web page, you do a nice job of dividing up your antagonists into easily recognizable groups and then giving them hilarious nick-names. Among the managers there is "The Enforcer" and "The Demon;" among the evil food bar ladies there is "Hitler;" and among the cashiers there is "Band Camp Girl." Is it a comfort to know that the types you identify are not just anomalies put there to irritate you, but members of groups that exist at every level of society?

It's definately good to know that I am not alone. At first I didn't realize that people like that existed everywhere you go, but as time goes on I have encounters with more people like them. I also get a lot of e-mails from people that swear I work at the Wally World in their town. It's scary to know every Wally World has a Band Camp Girl of their own.

3. Could you give a little further description of the Mullet you mentioned in one of your early entries which you claimed had been blessed by God himself?

I wish I could. It's been so long, that I can't visualize it in my mind. Plus I see at least a dozen mullets everyday I work and it's hard to remember a specific one.

4. Tell me more about the "Wall-Mart Chant." I assume this falls into that ridiculous "We are a family" line that big corporations think they can fool their exploited workers into believing. Does it seem hypocritical and immoral to you that these corporations would use these tactics and demand employee loyalty even though they would never return the sentiment if the situations were reversed?

The "Cheer" as they call it, is something else all together. It definately is part of the brain washing experience to make you think it is a big family. In their defense however, the company does do a lot for associates in need and the community. Anytime there is a death, or someone is in trouble they always raise a bunch of money for the associate which is admirable. As sad as it is, to some of the shoppers and even a few of the customers, that place is everything to them.

5. Does your "Wall-Mart Family" have plans to someday turn the family business over to you? Or is it more the case that they wouldnīt hesitate to crush you like a bug if you ever tried to compete with them?

Hahaha. I think they'd crush me like a bug in a second.

6. Are you ever envious of co-workers such as ?Band Camp Girl? who seem content to let their life be orchestrated by Wall-Mart products? I mean, certainly, such an ambition is pathetic and non-ambitious, but if you were happy to work at Wall-Mart all day and then spend all your money on Wall-Mart products at the end of your shift, you?d be living in a kind of paradise, discount-shopping fantasy-land wouldn't you?

I have considered this idea. The way I look at it is this...I see mentally handicapped people a lot while I'm at work and most of them actually look really happy. Sure, they drool on themselves and have no idea what's going on, but there is usually a big smile on their face. Does that make me want to be like them? Sometimes, but usually the answer to that is no.

7. In modern American society, young children are often pressured into finding some kind of department store or fast-food job. The argument is that children need to learn the discipline of having a job and that it will help them develop a work ethic. However, as recently as fifty years ago, getting a job, even for a very young person, meant that you would be learning a set of useful skills. Whether it be a tailor or mechanic or baker, the job actually required the employee to use his/her brain. In your opinion, does working at Wall-Mart actually help develop any useful skills or is it just an exercise in taking shit from morons? What effects do you think this has on society?

It definately teaches how to deal with the morons. You don't learn to many useful skills though, other then customer service. If you want to work in the retail world as a career, then Wally World is definately the place to be. It has a lot of opportunities to move up for the people willing to work hard. As for someone that has other plans, no, you don't learn much there that you can't learn anywhere else.

8. Do you feel that preservation of human dignity is sacrificed for the sake of profit in regards to the employees and policies of Wall-Mart?

Absolutely. An associate has to take a lot of shit from the customers, even when the customer is clearly in the wrong. At the end of the day, it comes down to making the customer happy so they'll come back and spend.

9. How long do you think it is safe for a person to work at a place like Wall-Mart before the oppressiveness of the situation actually starts to damage their psyche?

Sadly, I have worked their for five years now. For most people, I'd say a year. Since I have the website I'm at an advantage because I feel like I have a good understanding as to what is going on. Some people that e-mail me or post on my message board irritate me because of how much they hate their job and will go on and on about it. I mean, if you hate your pay that much and hate your job that much, find another job. It's not that hard.

10. Would you say that the way Wall-Mart functions is a microcosm for all of modern America?

Definately. I've always said that by working at Wally World it's like seeing the window to the world.

That's pretty scary when you consider the implications.

The End

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Email: dpestilence@yahoo.com