An Interview With The Wench of Maddox Mania

1. Tell us a little bit about Maddox Mania
and why you started it:

You watch a lot of movies that talk about destiny, but does anyone ever really understand what fate really does to someone? I happen to be one of the select few who know what their life's purpose is. I killed myself in every other past life so that I could be in this one to worship the man, the myth, the best...Maddox. I realized that there had to be other people who shared this calling and needed to find them. My biggest hope besides being nailed by Maddox is to construct a site worthy enough to bear the name Maddox with the help of other enlightened fans.

2. When did you first encounter the Maddox web page and what was the experience like?

My housemate passed out on the floor from lack of oxygen after reading Crappy Children's Art Work. I took one look and fell in love. In a world full of implants and porns without enough midgets, here was the real thing. You ever get a brain freeze? It was like that except in my panties.

3. What's your favorite Maddox subject?

The one where he totally rants about something most people are sensitive about. Wait! I think I like the one where he completely ridicules something to the point of suicidal humiliation, yeah, that one is my ultimate favorite.

4. What do you read when you aren't reading Maddox?

I majored in literature and film in college, so I have grown to appreciate many forms of literature throughout the years. From Orwell's 1984 to Batman comics, I try to read all kinds of things. However, I really can't tolerate instruction booklets or manuals. I find them drab and rather formulaic.

5. What kind of hate mail have you been getting in response to your web page?

I get hate mail from people not understanding that the site is for fans, and I need their help to make it grow. I get hate mail from people assuming I am a man, and offended at the thought of a man worshipping Maddox. But I can assure, I am all WOMAN!

#1 Hey Wench

Just wondering if you are a femal or not just kind of confused on your sexuality I know it should be obviouse that your are more than likely a female but the fact is I am not entirly sure and are you at all an atractive female probabley not but you know just wondering and shit well I guess keep up the whatever it is that you do and stuff. Well I gota get back to being lazy and shit so, fuck you I guess.

Adam from Arlington Tx.

#2 My testicles itch really bad. Could you please scratch them?

The Scratchy Sack Man

#3Dear wench, You suck. Why is it that you suck so much? Why is it that you feel the need to post up fake letters to yourself and an interview about yourself by yourself? I'm sure Maddox would encourage individuality and creativity among people instead of greasy white hos trying to copy his style. So anyways I have a dare for you. Why don't you post up a picture and some statistics about YOURSELF and let's see what YOU are made of!

Love, hugs, and kisses, Luvin Lesbo

There are more but they are rated NC 17 if you catch my drift.

6. What are your goals, dreams, and aspirations?

I'd like to find a cure for AIDS and cancer, feed the hungry and spread peace all over the land. If I don't accomplish what I set out to do, I really will kill myself to re incarnate into Maddox's left nut or right hand. Well, I am still trying to find out what I want to be when I grow up. Being a film critic would just make me smile. Being an assasin would make me laugh. Being Maddox's house keeper/love slave would make me happy.

7. If a lifeboat washed up on shore containing a Spanish cook a Himalayan Yak and a self-aware toaster, which do you think would have been most greatly responsible for the survival of the three?

How can any of the three, let alone any of us survive without Maddox? You didn't even mention him at all. Are you trying to insult my intelligence?

8. Apart from your devotion to The Best Web Page in the Universe, what do you do with your free time?

I am a professional insomniac. I spend most of my money at the movie theatres, doing random road trips, and doing all the things I spend an enormous amount of time thinking about... you know those things that would inprove your life immensely but just can't seem to do? I like to do those things.

9. Do you have any plans to rule the world? If so, how would you go about it?

See, people have gotten this wrong all in the past. My plans are to take over little schools and open group homes. This would be the one time children can be useful cause no matter how much we abuse or mistreat them, they grown up. My schools will brainwash them into being the most loyal and sophisticated slaves in history.

10. As a pirate wench, you must have thought a lot about dying. What then have you planned for an epitaph

I assume I won't ever die. But I think a lot about other people dying.

The End

Home Sweet Home

Email: dpestilence@yahoo.com