A Typical Episode of Macgyver

Man, Macgyver is cool. I remember countless adolescent years plopped in front of a TV watching the "The Man" ply his trade. Macgyver was too cool to kill anybody or to even have sex with any of the semi-hot women they brought onto the show. Macgyver didn't need no violence to move what he was selling, he didn't need no leather clad T&A. Macgyver had the coolest draw of them all, an acute and practiced knowledge of SCIENCE! What little kid wouldn't want to tune in and see that? So, in tribute to the master of all TV programming, I bring you this tribute to Macgyver.

(By the way, this episode would be a lot cooler if you got your computer to play the Macgyver theme song over and over at ear splitting volume as you read it. I would have done that myself, but I don't know how.)

WE FAHNALLEE CAWT YEW MACGUYVEHUR AND SOON VE VILL KEEELLL YOOOOUUU!!! BHUT FIRZST I VILL LOCK YEW EN DIS ROOM ALONE FOR AN HOWER! I'LL BE BACK! JA JA JA JA JA!

Alone at last Now, what do I have to work with?

Well, over here there is some dog shit.

And over here we have a cherry popsicle.

Hmmmmmm!

I know!

I can use these things to make a TIME MACHINE! Thank god it was a cherry popsicle and not orange or this whole plan would have been shot.

Just have to make a few adjustments....

There! A fully functional time machine!

Now I just need to go back in time and make it so that henchman was never born.

First I'll need to do some research at the library to figure out the exact time and place of conception for the henchman. Isn't the library a marvelous tool kids? I think so too.

Later...