5/19/03: My life seems so miserable. The one boy I love, Cody has made a complete and utter fool out of me today at school. I heard him laugh at me when the girls, Diane and Jacklyn, asked him out for me without first asking me if they could. I feel so ashamed. Like i don't deserve him. I probably don't.
5/20/03: Cody didn't even talk to me. Why God? Why does he torment me? I pray that he accepts my present tomorrow. I'm planning on giving him apencil that has the japanese symbol for love on it. I hope he likes it.
5/21/05: I never did get a chance to give Cody his present. I had forgotten that he and a few others, including Diane and Jacklyn were leaving early for a three day eighth grade camping trip. I won't see him until Fridayat the dance. That is, if he's going. I hope he is. I miss him so much.
5/24/03: Last night at the 8th grade dance, the girls somehow convinced Cody to take a picture with me. It was like heaven standing next to him, his arm brushing mine, yet he was there with Chelsea, so we didn't dance. I didn't care. I was drunk on the feelings of my love for him. I went outside and leaped and danced with glee. He was so handsome in his dark grey suit and me in my purple dress. It felt so...so right.
5/25/03: Nothing much today. I have decided to slip a note into Cody's stuff on the last day of school telling him how i feel. If luck is on my side, he will find it after school and will finally know how i feel. Wish me luck everyone because if things go like normal, everything that can go wrong will...
5/26/03: Trying to write the note. If you have any ideas, please email me! I need your help people!!
6/9/03: Now that school's over, I haven't been thinking of Cody as much. I've been more occupied with the note Sam wrote underneath his picture in my yearbook on the last day of school. Love forever...I'm having a party in July for all of my friends and I'm going to ask him about it then. He was so kind to me at the dance, trying to engauge me, make me feel like i was actually noticed...I could care less about Cody now. I never did write the note...
8/5/03: Haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy. I never got to have the party, but thats ok. I'm focused on someone else now. Zach...he's 14 like me, and very cute. I love him so...
Why I'm so Lonesome
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