I've learned to deal with a lot of rather odd things when it comes to Clark Kent. But I must say that this one caught me off guard. I never thought I'd be hurrying to his hotel room after receiving a desperate and semi-incoherent phone call asking for help.

 

          It was something about getting drunk and marrying someone.

 

          Part of me thinks this has to be a joke. Clark doesn't drink. And he's certainly not irresponsible enough to get married.

 

          Then again, Clark really isn't the type to pull practical jokes either.

 

          I knock on the door to his hotel room, and when he answers I can tell be the look on his face that this isn't a joke.

 

          "I got married," he says simply. He looks as bewildered as I feel.

 

 

          When I step into the room I notice a certain blonde reporter sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor.

 

          He married Chloe.

 

          I'm going to kill him.

 

          Wait.

 

          Why do I care if it's Chloe he married? I make a mental note to flesh that thought out later. Right now isn't the time.

 

          "So," I say, keeping my voice level. "You two got married."

 

          Chloe immediately jerks her head up. "What? No...no no no. Clark and I didn't get married. Clark got married. Do I look that stupid to you?" She pauses than smiles at Clark apologetically, "No offense."

 

          Clark doesn't say anything, he just shoots her a look before turning back to me.

 

          "What do I do?"

 

          I honestly don't know what he expects me to do. It's not like I've ever been in this situation. But, as always, Clark is turning to me for advice. And, as always, I feel compelled to help him.

 

          "Okay. Just try to explain to me everything that happened."

 

          Clark takes a deep breath before sitting down on a nearby chair. "Alright. Last night I used the fake ID you gave me, and I got really drunk."

 

         Shit.

 

         I didn't actually expect any of them to use their IDs. They aren't exactly a drinking type of group. I had them made just in case someone wanted to put a quarter in the slots or something like that. I never would have guessed that Clark would use it to get drunk.

 

          "Clark, I have to ask. Why were you drinking last night? I've never know you to touch alcohol before."

 

          Clark refuses to meet my eyes, "I just felt like getting drunk."

 

          Okay, there is definitely more too it than that. But he obviously doesn't want to get into it right now.

 

          "What happened next?" I ask, letting him off the hook some.

 

          "I started dancing with a girl who was also pretty drunk. The next thing I can remember is waking up next to her in bed this morning. There was a marriage certificate next to the bed, and we're both wearing wedding bands."

 

          Jesus.

 

          I'm going to get blamed for this.

 

          Jonathan Kent is going to murder me.

 

          I run my hand over my head, and began to pace the room. "Well, I don't think it will be too hard to deal with this. It should be easy enough to get a divorce from this... What's the girl's name?"

 

          "Willow Rosenberg. Well, actually it's Willow Kent now."

 

          "Alright, you and Willow should be able to get a divorce rather quickly. The only thing I'd worry about is your parent's reaction. Have you told them yet?"

 

          Clark shook his head. "No, and that's not exactly a conversation I'm ready to have right now."

 

          I've really grown close to Clark during the past four years. I like the kid a lot. He's got a good heart. But he can be incredibly stupid. I've seen him do some very careless things. This situation tops them all though. An 18-year-old should not be thinking about divorce. Part of me feels quite bad for him, but another part of me wants to smack him upside the head.

 

          There's a knock on the door. Chloe goes to open it, and a short, pretty red-head enters the room. This must be Willow. She looks at least a couple years older than Clark, but she can't be more than 22 or 23. She looks just a miserable as Clark. But there's another emotion there too. One that I can't identify.

 

          Willow ignores me and goes straight to Clark.

 

          "We need to talk. Right now."

 

          "Okay," Clark stands up.

 

          "Lex, could you and Chloe leave for a minute?"

 

          "Sure," I nod and Chloe and I quickly make an exit.

 

          "Clark Kent got himself married." I say, shaking my head, as we enter Chloe's room. "I can't believe it."

 

          "Yeah, who would have thought that Clark would go and get that wasted." Chloe lets out a laugh. "Mr. Kent is going to kill you, you do know that, right?"

 

          I groan. "Yes, Miss Sullivan. The thought had crossed my mind."

 

          Chloe rolled her eyes, "For the last time, *Mr. Luthor,* call me Chloe. Your father calls me Miss Sullivan. I don't want to deal with it from you too. We've become friends over this last year, haven't we? I think it's alright if you call me by my first name."

 

          "Of course. Chloe. I'm sorry. I'm not thinking all that clearly right now."

 

          A grin crosses Chloe's face as she takes a step toward me. "Ohhh...the great Lex Luthor is shaken up. I can't believe it. If I knew this would happen I would have found a way to get Clark drunk a long time ago."

 

          "Come on, Chloe. You can't tell me that you weren't a little taken aback by this whole thing. After all, this is Clark we're talking about. Considering your past with him..."

 

          Chloe's eyes flash with anger. "That's hitting below the belt, Luthor. Anyway, I don't have feelings for Clark anymore. We're just friends."

 

          I move forward, closing the gap between us. "Is that so? You mean to tell me that you weren't even the *littlest* bit jealous to hear that Clark Kent got married?"

 

          "Weren't you?" Chloe asks with a smirk.

 

          Without even thinking I grab her and pull her towards me, placing a kiss on her lips. She stiffens for a moment, then responds, returning the kiss full force.

 

         After what seems like an eternity, we both pull apart.

 

          "Chloe, I was only jealous when I thought that he got married to you."

 

 

 TBC