VIDEO: "Arachnophobia" featuring "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails
There’s a lot of unexpected things in the world to worry about: for example, you never know when a spider will pop up. The eight-legged creatures may not bring about the end of the world, but that’s not what we think when we find ourselves face-to-face with the arachnids. It’s safe to say that we as people have a bit of a love/hate relationship with spiders. Okay, so no one “loves” spiders, but it’s not always our #1 priority to be on the lookout for the little bastards. Hell, sometimes you can’t help but feel sorry for the tiny things; but only if they’re the size of a dust particle. Out of sight, out of mind; right?
So much for reassurance from “out of sight”…
We all can go a little bi-polar when it comes to spiders. Daddy long legs ain’t nothing; but the moment I see a hairy body the size of a quarter, I’m in another zip code. While I certainly can’t blame the “thrillomedy” Arachnophobia for it, it certainly didn’t help matters any in my younger years. One stormy afternoon in my youth, it popped on as the “movie of the day” and my father joined me, unable to remember how the film had ended from his original viewing.
He was also looking for answers why Fabio-lite was cast.
Once it was over and he was reminded (and I quote), “That was a terrible ending,” he went about his day like usual. Not this terrified kid. I don’t give a shit that the movie wrapped up with the spiders dying; now the thought was in my head of “OMFG WHAT IF THIS HAPPENED?!?” I was scarred for life, wondering what Rube Goldberg sequence of events would unfold in my life that would lead to some deadly spider fucking a house spider and creating an army of the tiny terrorists.
If only Delbert the Exterminator was real; he is spider sex kryptonite.
Of course, it’s a farfetched scenario. At times, spiders can barely get along together in their own species, so the thought of two different types managing to co-exist in the same environment is like putting rival gang members in the same room and expecting no caps to be popped. And even if things evolved to the point of “getting it in”, chances are when their spider friends caught wind of the hook-up, it would play out like the spider-equivalent of West Side Story.
It looks like the Sharks & Jets are rumbling again!
But damnit, I do not want to live in fear! Or at least that’s what the logic was when it came time to upgrade technology in the early ought’s; when I started up my DVD collection, Arachnophobia was the first on my list. Sure, being older meant that the “What if?” spider-sex scenario was no longer a worry to me, and while it may not have been as scary as the original viewing, it’s still a well-made horror/thriller that isn’t afraid to plant its tongue-in-cheek to lighten the mood; usually so the next scare hits that much harder.
If YouTube existed in 1990, this shot would’ve been preceded with a cat video.
Considering how many unfamiliar faces were used in the cast, credit has to be given to the two leads who still have a steady career today. John Goodman takes his supporting performance and wrings every drop of comic-gold out of it, stealing the scene anytime he pops up. Meanwhile, Jeff Daniels is one of the most underrated leading men and shows it here, and it’s mind-boggling why he’s been relegated to sidekick duty in some of the biggest films of his career ever since. “Speed” wouldn’t have made Keanu’s & Sandra Bullock’s careers if we didn’t care about Daniels biting the dust, and the humor in Arachnophobia could’ve been a train wreck without his delivery & comedic timing.
Nowadays, people think the funniest thing he’s done is getting the runs in Dumb & Dumber.
For a movie centered around killer spider bites, do I need to give an explanation why "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails is the choice of song to backdrop these highlights? If so, click play below and listen to the lyrics; the dots should connect rather quickly. So without further adieu, let's end this year-long movie montage gap as Dizzlemits presents highlights for Arachnophobia:
Stay tuned for some semblance of regular updates, resuming soon! --Tommy Dizzlemits
(Don't mind the clutter/out-dated updates: there's plenty to keep you occupied!)
