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The Body Count

The characters, how they die, and the humorous comments afterwards

Jocelyn - applies acid-laced cold cream to her face
Constable Hooke's remark: "That goo was a real wrinkle remover indeed!"

Robert - a red velvet suit that crushes him into pieces
(a pun on "crushed velvet"!)
Constable Hooke's remark: "...sort of like a jigsaw puzzle, you might say!"

Douglas - drinks drugged cognac, then gets compacted by a garbage truck, leaving only one foot lying on the ground
Jonesy's remark: "I've heard the expression 'one foot in the grave', but..."

Dybbi - decapitated in a secret alcove
Constable Hooke's remark: "Killed in the line of duty, he was!"

Karen and Evan - crushed flat together in the shower (bodies are later found in a wrecked car)
Karen (right before being crushed): "Evan, I do feel close to you!"
Constable Hooke's remark: "Flat as griddlecakes, they were!"

Jonesy - Hester killes him with a shovel and buries him
Hester's remark: "The grave isn't for's for you, Jonesy!"

Hester - entombed alive with Arnold's ashes and money
Hester's remark: "'re teasing me, Arnie!"

Hester's cat ("Pussy") - pecked to pieces by the graveyard raven at the end!

Go back to the ARNOLD index page