Full Title: You lifted me up and put me down - But I will break it up now

Now playing: Scooter: "Don`t Let It Be Me" and "Break It Up" from the CD "Wicked!" © & (P) 1996 'edel' Gesellschaft f r Produktmarketing mbH

Mood: Complicated. Partly feastfull about the ending of this shit, partly sad for that this all had to turn this way and end like this, but also ragefull for Vinnie II for not doing his share at home.

Vinnie II is in tears. I have cried my eyes empty already and all that is left is jealousy, untrusting and fight about the little property we have. I was listening Scooter`s CD named Wicked! and I couldn`t help feeling that these two songs describe my feelings the best at the moment.

Don`t Let It Be Me

You lift me up
Just to put me down
You try to bring me up up up
Confusion all around

I hear your words
And everything you say
But nothing is the same no more
Untill you go away

Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down

I`ll let you go
To where you wanna be
I hope that you`ll understand
What you really meant to me

But then I`m gone
Gone and far away
Andnothing is the same no more
Since you went away

Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down

Break It Up

Where in the world, Where in the world
Where in the world did I get this hurt
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind
If you call me bad, call me wrong
Call me anything but your own
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind

I don`t care if you leave me
I don`t care if you go away
I don`t care if you wanted this
I don`t mind

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up, my love
If you think that you can`t stay with me then break it up my love
Break it up, just break it up, break it up, just break it up.

So, where in the world, Where in the world
Where in the world can I hide this hurt
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind
If you call me sad, call me strong
Strong enough to make it on my own
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind

If you tear down your walls inside
Go for a brandnew ride
But baby please don`t tell me so

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up, my love
If you think that you can`t stay with me then break it up my love
Break it up, just break it up, break it up, just break it up.

I guess it`s time to let it all go - at least for the time we get our minds and goals cleared and you Vinnie II grow up and learn to take more responsebilities and have finished his education. Till then we better let the Mr. Freeze in. If anyone who pokes in to read this, has any suggestion to fix the situation, all ideas are warmly welcomed. The situation anyway will be now that Vinnie II will move back to his parents` place and I will stay in my house and continue living here where I do. I admitted that I was expecting someone a little bit more Modo-like guy, but instead I got a 100% Vinnie VanWham Second Edition. ...And what was said about the de Megazones and the VanWhams? Makes me just wondering if Vinnie would turn out to become violent towards Charley if they ever really seriously would start to be together... After all he was so jealous to Jack McCyber. And Vinnie II showed all the same feelings to my own little "McCybers" from my new school.

Mood:  loud

...and running ans my original plan was and no additional hosts currently. I`m still discussing with 1 person about 1 hosting but it`s totally off the BMFM so I won`t be talking about it here. I have been doing some coding to both The Modo Fan Club and Technodrome - Home of the de Megazones and Megazone Fighters to get `em transferred on that server. And what a person named "Suicide Commando" said about Vinnie II and Gentoo is not true. He always uses the latest versions of the programs, unless there is extremely heavy reasons to stick to an older version. And as long as I`ve known Vinnie II I can only name 1 program which he hasn`t switched for a newer version: Photoshop. He keeps using the version 7 after that has already appeared versions "CS" and "CS 2". He even keeps whining to me at times when I keep being faitfull to my old junk as my "Packed Hell" with Win98Lite and Paint Shop Pro 7.02. He also succeeded with the 1st installation as he said but Suicide Commando (a.k.a. SC) refused to believe. Well, he`s free to think whatever he wants, I keep trusting my mate`s skills. Despite of that, we came to the result (merely Vinnie II decided about this) to put Debian "Sarge" on the server. While Gentoo is extremely customizable, I at least prefer stability over customizability. My own vote would have been Fedora Core 3, Since Fedora/Red Hat -line and me seems to get along the best. Debian however is my second choice. Ubuntu is also gollecting plus points from me, while Mandrake/Mandriva, Gentoo and many other KDE using Linux distributions get minus points from me.

Anyway, before the transfer can be finalized, I need to get at least 1 domain name running. Any and all suggestions can be mentioned to the comment section below the horizontal line at the bottom of this message, right above the previous title before this one or to my e-mail address: mizeleingzeloRemoVe@ThiSyahoo.com.

And official note for anybody: Since I`m the owner of the connection that the server uses along with my and Vinnie II`s private computers, I therefore give a public forbidding for any kind of installations for the server without my approval. This comes directly to everybody. Anybody (incl. Vinnie II also!) Must discuss with me inorder to have the permission to install something on the server. Any unauthorized access (excluding the normal browsing of the websites running on the server in question) will be concidered as an act of telecommunication crime and will be announced to the police who will investigate it and if found necessary, hand it to the prosecution. I can`t afford to get kicked out of the local internet community and be dropped to the 56k6 modem usage. This doesn`t mean you wouldn`t be allowed to post your fanworks to be published on my websites - I encourage people to do that and be proud of their creative works. What I don`t allow is illegal hacking and other illegal acts or acts that can cause me trouble with (Pimarily Finnish and EU) laws and/or my ISP. Browsing of a site/sites isn`t such, not publishing fanworks when I don`t claim to own your works/characters or the characters and things originating in the BMFM shows.

Fading Typing Screen

Mood: Annoyed

Now it`s not fun when you are at the end of typing a post to the blog the typing screen fades away like it does with a buzy computer. And I wasn`t doing anything else that having the "Now Playing" -song rolling on the background and 1 internet browser page open with 2 tabs. (1 tab was the typing scree for the blog and the other on was the blog itself as it appears for outsiders.) That`s not too much even for a bit older computer. I`ve had at worst open over 20 tabs in 4 to 6 Internet browser windowses plus perhaps PSP 7.02 or text editor/notepad editor for HTML.

Makes me really want to transfer this blog to my own server.

Mood:  on fire

As the tittle says, today was taken the first step for an own server. Vinnie II and I paid a visit to the office of the network community I`m a member of and which has made it possible that in the middle of nowhere is possible to have a fast connection, not just max 56k6 modem. Here the rules from the operators say it`s forbidden from ordinary people just put up a server, you need a permission from the ISP (Internet Service Provider).

So, today we drove to their office since we concidered to be best to go to apply the permission face to face. After describing a bit of what we want, discussing about the possibilities and technical solutions on the both sides, giving estimations about the traffic load and such the IT-chief of the community agreed to give a permission for our little server since it shouldn`t consume too much resources. That means the first step for moving The Modo Fan Club and Technodrome - Home of the de Megazones to our own server, which would release both sites from the problem that their current location servers aren`t accepting works with more mature tastes. It also means the sites won`t be lost because if I don`t update them at least once in a month or so. Of course it`ll bring to the thought also getting real domain names which wouldn`t first show adds before entering the site(s).

The next stage will be the installation of the needed programs and making the right settings for the server programs. After that and partly simultaneously I probably will do some coding for both websites, but at least right now it seems like The Modo Fan Club would be the first to move on the new server, mainly because it`s more desperately in need of that.

Mood: Ragefull!

And if there`s not reading "Rexanthony: 'Boxing Columbia'" in the "Now Playing" -line - I`m gonna sue each and everyone who`s been part of creating the Angelfire`s Blog Builder!

I have lost 2 postings within the last 48 hours because the Builder doesn`t save all the postings like it`s supposed to. (And I hit that "Post" button! It`s surrounded with red borders in the builder and I hit inside the borders, on the button where reads post!") And other thing is that for some reason the builder always drops that band and song name which SHOULD now alone appear on the "Now Playing" -line. It only wants to show: Co.Ro: "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" from a CD "Techno & Dance 6" (P) 1994 K-tel International (Finland) Oy. Odd thing is that it drops the second ban and the song from the middle of the "Now Playing" -line, not a thing from the end like it would happen with over long lines. My annoyment is also increased by that fact that the both postings I lost were rather long widely handled AND Biker Mice from Mars -related.

Mood: Feeling odd, confused and having a bad taste in her mouth

I got the 6th HP-book (The Half-Blood Prince) out of the local library about half a week after it had been published as the first to borrow it and finished it in 3 evenings. (I`m a slow reader, especially when readyng something not in my native language.) I must say I got a not so niceafter taste in my mout from that book. Perhaps I might be wrong, but at least I find it to be the same kind of let-down as the 3rd book was (..And especially its filmatization with the kids jumping around in the school in top fashion clothes when they`re supposed to wear their "uniforms"!)

If you haven`t read the book yet and don`t want the surprise get ruined, please stop now. I`m going to bark the story now. And obviously that will lead to that I must reveal some things from the book.

First of all, I found the Snape-twist somewhat unbelievable. After the 5th book`s "explanations" for Snape`s behaviour ("protecting" Harry) seemed like if forgotten/ignored or even washed away and replaced with the evil twists. Feels like last minute change when you change the right test answer to a wrong one, believing/fearing that you`ve mistaken on the first time. I can`t help feeling that the editors & publishers have been demanding certain major changes to ensure the maximum sales (That nuance was already seeable in 5th book.) although the author publisher & hardest fans probably denies everything and prepares to shoot and sue me for spreading such lies. (For those people, check the Blue Ribbon on the bottom of the page - I support free speech! An I have constitution law based right to say my opinions about things I want to talk. No offence meant.)

Another thing thing that leaves abad taste in my mouth about the book was the death of Dumbledore. Unnecessary! Pointless! The only meaning I can figure out was to release Harry to run after Voldemort and get himself killed. J.K. Rowling says she`s already written the last chapter which shall end the whole 7 book long Harry Potter -serie. I don`t know now yet what it is about but the odds are against Harry. Actually I expect him to die, even somewhat wish for that. Life sucks you know, and it certainly ain`t fair. But how a schoolboy can time after time beat a widely experienced and skilled wizard who`s gotten more experience and certainly has no sence of mercy, nor he doesn`t hesitate even to kill somebody. Surely Harry`s death would be just 1 death among all those he`s done, perhaps the grand final of his "career". Makes me kinda wish I would start to read Lady Foxfire`s HP tortures. "Harry Potter vs Voldemort" by Thanoodles shall speak for my feeligh pretty much.

Good thing I decided not to buy the book. Would be just waste of my .

Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!

Mood:  celebratory

Please, change your bookmarks to point to www.modoclub.tk if they aren't yet. This internet address will directly take you to the new location of The Modo Fan Club. Homestead will bite dust, their awful wysiwyg editor writes too much of unnecessary code and they are negative towards FTP and the idea that you code yer pages with bare hands or by using different programs than their "award winning" editor. From Orgfree (www.orgfree.com) I could find finally a server which allows me to post also more adult tasted materials too and link to them too. (And that`s what most of the servers don`t accept.) I`ve been happy with their service this far but it requires that you can build your own pages without their help. Sure they offer some sort of WYSIWYG editor and HTML-notepad but the best solution is code it yourself and upload it then to their server with FTP. Fits me fine. Modo related fanworks can be sent to me to the address: modomasterREMOVE@CAPITALSjotti.org!

Pyry Comes

Mood: Delighted

27th of February, 2005 - just a few days after Pipsa`s death me and Vinnie II go to look for a new bunny. At 1 store we spotted an announcement where someone was wanting to sell their bunny because of the allergy that had appeared in the family. We drive to that place and find a vivid white furred boy bunny with brown spots and beautiful blue eyes. his name was pyry and after a little discussion, Pyry was lifted into a box we had with us and we started to drive back home. Everybody at my and Vinnie II`s place were then wondering his vividity and curiosity. He was quickly leaping out of the box and we had brought Raisa to get to meet him but we had to start protect her from the h###y male. Poor Raisa withrew to the deepest corner under my stairs to get to safe from him. She had spent the past few days looking miserable and clearly missing her sister.

After a few days my mom came to see the new bunny (she had been angry with me for that I had went to buy a new bunny.) and we tried a new meeting between Raisa and Pyry, now when they had had a chance to get used to each other in the separate cages right next to each other. Raisa was again withdrawing to a corner but not so bad as on the previous time. Pyry instead was facinated by the appereance of approximately same aged female bunny and was immediately wanting to make cubs with her. we had to go between and protect Raisa from over excited Pyry.

Along with the appereance of Pyry, Raisa has now started to get to forget her sister and started to get interested in about this whitefurred newcomer, who looks at times like a little kitten when he gives a certain facial appereances. ^^
Raisa has started to go crazy recently and the sounds they both are giving is telling loud and clear that they boths seem to have "spring in their chest" as to express it nicely. In other words we may expect some countryside/dwarf -mix up bunny cubs later on this spring.

Memorising Pipsa

Mood:  blue

On 24th of February I had to make one of the toughest decisions. On the switch of July and August I had brought home 2 cute little bunnies, but while I had been in the Netherlands for the x-mas & new year holiday, Pipsa`s teeth started to grow wrong. My parents had been taking care of them but as far as it has cleared out to me, they probably hadn`t offered enough of hard things to bite. Raisa, the black withwhite collar stripe is the one who likes to chew hard bread, while Pipsa the black with just tiny white little ankle socks, preferred soft things like the carrot slices or apple covers. That resulted to that when I had come home, she was skinnier. I kept following her but she got just skinnier and weaker, while Raisa seemed to be at her best condition. Then I came to look into her mouth and found horrendously long teeth! My parents were on that week on a holiday and it was late in the evening when I call to them and cry to them about how`s it with Pipsa. Mom tells me to wait till they're back (almost a week till that) and then perhaps to go to the vet. I was weighting the possibilities for two days and then I got a time to the vet. Mom was furious (and so was dad too) when I had disobeyed them, but an ordinary countryside bunny that is already over half a year older and weights barely 1kg is way too small! The vet said I did right and that Pipsa wouldn`t have made it till my parents`return. It was just awfull to watch her when she was waking up from the anesthetics. (And try to guard her from hitting herself to anything when her feet betrayed and she fell on the ground or against a cupboard. This happened on 27th of January.

As said earlier, on 24th of February I had to make 1 of the toughest decisions in my life. I always get very much emotionally attached to my pets, but Pipsa was in front of the same problem again. she had started slightly to loose weight and this time the vet of mine guided me to a pet hospital in a bigger city nearby. There I had taken Raisa also with me (and Vinnie II) when taking Pipsa to the specialized vet. We measured both of the bunnies, Raisa weighting 2,40kg and Pipsa 2,25kg. The vet there put me to decide either cut Pipsa`s teeth again and the same after a month again (they said she would be helpless case anyway) or to give the lethal injection. After crying (and I mean I cried aloud there for a long time) I came to the decision that it`s better in that case to give the injection rather than letting her to suffer once in a month a nasty tooth cutting operation. The vet there was very kind and understanding, I could hold Pipsa when she fell in sleep and then after quite some time I put her on the operating table and the vet gave the shot that ended her heartbeats and breathing. She died immediately.

After crying a lot I still had to drive back home. And there was still 1 very important paper to be taken somewhere. I went to take it into that place and Vinnie II stayed in the car. I was very pissed off when I heard just a few minutes after that people had been staring the box where Pipsa was lying on the front seat so that Vinnie II had had to cover her with a blanket.

In the evening when my dad had come home we buried Pipsa next to Tupuna and Pupuliina and had a little memorial service for her. We all love you and miss you, Pipsa!

Mood:  celebratory

Mize: (writes at 02:12:24am on 4th of December, 2004) **hugs** By the way, Vinnie II... Look to the clock and the calendar...

Mize: 2 weeks left!

Vinnie II: yay ^^

Mize: 14 days! Yay!

Vinnie II: heheh ^^

Mize: **happy dance**

Vinnie II: ^^

Indeed! It`s only 14 day to the moment when I`ll see my beloved mouse-man again! Oh god Queen Death I miss him! I wish the would take me already now to his place.

Mood: Happy

Yes! It`s only 24 days till my to my mate`s place for the X-mas holidays. Whee! I`m so excited! But a word of reminder to the thieves and burglaries: my house is guarded and I`m surrounded by nosy neighbors. They will surely know if you try to get in to my house. My faiful guardian pets, Raisa and Pipsa will all so raise a noise from the strangers. Besides, my brother Rocky may also spend his holidays at my house as far as I know, basing to that he`s been muttering lately about having enough of our parents and being asking if he and Violeta could stay at my place while I`m gone. Traditionally the flames of family disagreements have become higher and hotter during the x-mas time when the whole family has been gathering together. (And I know my folks would have wanted me to stay at home for the holidays, but I must go to pick up my mouseman and bring him to his new home. )

Coming to an other topic but related to the previous 1, I have merely bought the for Vinnie II`s and my families already, but there`s still some relatives, and my nosy neighbors, to whom I must keep looking for the presents. Mrrr! How on Mars it can be so difficult to buy even 1 little present for each of those who are left?

Mood: Amused

When I was taking my test, me and Midnight Princess were wondering what number my mate, Vinnie II would be. He did the test and here`s the result:

**nods** He can empathic, helpful, thoughtful, warm and sincere. But he can be also stubborn, not listening, storming and sulky, yet excited and eager to cheer up people. And he knows how to be polite and make me smile. ^^

Though I don`t consider myself to be very charming or charismatic.

Mood:  a-ok

**nods** Indeed. That`s me.

Mood:  down

Some updates. I`ve been extremely bugged about this "The Things I`m Good at" -Posting. After that a lot of things have gone wrong. Don`t say it was because I wrote it on the 13th day of the month, 13 is usually my lucky number. I rather take it as God`s punishment from boasting too much about myself. After all there`s so many things wel in my life. We don`t have war here, I`m free to go where I want (Ok, military areas are out of question but i wouldn`t go there anyway.) and I can say my opinions without the policemen coming to my door and dragging to the torturing cells and finally executing me for the words I said perhaps without true intention.
Well, 1st of all, 2 days after writing that post, there was a new car standing on the the garage which used to belong to the old Volkwagen of my mom. I call that new car as "Sigce", and it`s a VW too. (Grrrr! ) I wasn`t pleased and now I`m even less when on last Sunday we found out that this brand new asphalt swallower leaks from the doors when you drive in a carwash. Another broken VW! We had difficulties with the previous one and now this! I was right when I assumed that I won`t like this car, though I must admit that Sigce has tried to do everything to win my heart. )

The cousin of my dad didn`t make it to the municipality parliament, but the second cousin of my dad made it fortunately. Only if I had know that this second cousin was a candidate, I would have woted him/her (I leave the gender hidden). Now my vote went for the party I`m totally against. )

Mood: Amused
Now Playing: Haddaway: "Rock My Heart" and "Life" (Album Re-Mix) from the CD "The Album - 2nd Edition" (P) 1993 Coconut Records under exclusive license to BMG Ariola Media GmbH, ? 1993 BMG Ariola Media GmbH

Ive been a Mozilla user for some time already, and Opera user even longer, though I still have IE 6 on my laptop, but I use that only to test my pages how they look like with it. (O.k. and yes - to access randomly to www.libresse.fi since those morons there have optimized their page for only that browser, not allowing other browsers to view it at all. )

Today my mate, Vincent "Vinnie" van Wham II, gave me the link below and said he knew I`d like it. And he was true. Not because of it was anti-IE text but because of how it was formed. Well, I let you check out the link yourself...

Dear IE, I'm leaving you for good