1. If it rained Soup he would have a fork instead of a spoon
2. He waited for years for Dame Fortune to knock on his door,
but it was her daughter, Miss fortune, showed up.
3. She bought a house with lots of doors for opportunity to knock on, but only his 'relatives' did.
4. If he went into the men's pants business, men would start wearing kilts.
5. He has a wife and a cigarette holder - neither one works.
6. He worked two years on his boss's signature, then the perfectly forget check came back,
marked 'Insufficient Funds'.
7. She's a two-handicap golfer - she has a boss who won't let her off early,
and a husband who keeps her home weekends.
8. She got a divorce and all she got was custody of her 'husbands parents'.
9. She's had bad luck with two husbands, The first on left her, and the second one won't.
10. He wound up in jail for making big money - it was a quarter of an inch too big ( My favourite)
PAGES PACKED WITH FABULOUS HUMOR