Shhhhhhhh!!! No music on this page..I wanted you to have full concentration.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software;
severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewellery applications, that
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4
and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably
crashes the system.
Under no circumstances will it run NappyChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3, to fix Husband 1.0, but this all
purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an 'ENTERTAINMENT package'.
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its
creator to run as few applications as possible. You cannot purge Husband
1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to
do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend
5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to
uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed.
Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has
severely limited memory. Error messages are common and a normal part of
Husband 1.0. In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite
applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried
to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with
Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support".
You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with
1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this
strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a
wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent
company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must
ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.
To activate this great feature enter the command: "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more
serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE
before the system will return to normal operations.
Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,
to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create
FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember!
The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of
this fine feature, it can only intermittently run all the applications
Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying
additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend: HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1.
Used in conjunction, these utilities, can
really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use,
Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable
features such as: FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend
A final word of caution!
Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a
supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the
system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until
MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install
1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming
We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!