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Throw a lucky cat in the sea,

and he will come up with a fish in his mouth.

"Stay" is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.

Cat's Rules..... BATHROOMS:

Always accompany guests to the bathroom.

It is not necessary to do anything.

Just sit and stare.


Do not allow any closed doors in any room.

To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws.

Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.

After you have ordered an "outside" door opened,

standhalfway in and out

And think about several things.

This is particularly important during very cold weather,

rain, snow, or mosquito season.


If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.

If you cannot manage in time,

get to an Oriental rug.

If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.

When throwing up on the carpet, make sure

you back up so it is as long as a

humans bare foot.

A Cat in My Lap

I know I have a lot to do,

So many things - see them through.

There are clothes to clean, grass to mow,

Cookies to bake, seeds to sow.

But I really can't do all these things in a snap.

Because, you see, there's a cat in my lap.

He stretches and rolls and gives me a wink,

From his sleepy gold eyes - just a small blink.

I smooth his long tail and tickle his tummy,

He yawns and purrs to tell me that's yummy.

The telephone rings. The paper boy taps.

No move do I make. There's a cat in my lap.

Bright sunlight dances across the floor,

To warm my small friend just a bit more.

A happy prisoner am I in my chair -

Some moments of peace - not a care.

I think I'll take a little nap,

With this soft, furry ball, a cat in my lap.

By Karen Boxell

Love~Petal's Angel-Babysita's cat Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray this cushy life to keep.

I pray for toys that look like mice,

And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,

And Love~Petals (that's my MOM to scratch my back,

For windowsills all warm and bright,

For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I'll always stay real cool

And keep the secret feline rule -

To NEVER tell a human that

The world is really ruled by CATS!

If you like this award please e-mail me

There is no snooze button on a cat

who wants breakfast."

"Thousands of years ago, cats

were worshipped as gods.

Cats have never forgotten this." --

"Cats are smarter than dogs.

You can't get eight cats to pull a sled

through snow."

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."

"Dogs come when they're called;

cats take a message and get back to you


"Cats are rather delicate creatures

and they are subject to a good many

ailments, but I never heard of one

who suffered from insomnia."

"People who hate cats, will come back

as mice in their next life."

"There are many intelligent species in

the universe. They are all owned

by cats."

"I have studied many philosophers

and many cats. The wisdom of cats

is infinitely superior."

"Dogs believe they are human.

Cats believe they are God."

Adopt me! I love you! take me home!

Lady Shel's Cyber-Kitty Adoption Center


Stray cats will not be fed.

Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food......

moistened with a little milk.

Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened

with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked

up and cuddled unnecessarily.

Stray cats that are petted, played with,

picked up and cuddled....

will absolutely not! be given a name.

Stray cats with or without a name will not

be allowed inside the house

at any time. Stray cats allowed inside will not

be permitted to jump up on or

sharpen their claws on the furniture.

Stray cats will be permitted on furniture but must

sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal rope scratching post

with three perches.

Stray cats will sleep outside.

Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

Stray cats will sleep in the house,

but not in our bed.

Stray cats will sleep in our bed,

but not under the covers.

Stray cats will not play on the desk.

Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk

when Love~Petals is using it. Stray cats will not QAWSDFXCRFTGHBJUIM,L.;//

Well what do you know!!!!!! she is helping me;

she is no stray! no sir! she IS MY LOVING KITTY CAT!

Now I lay me down to sleep

The king-size bed is soft and deep.

I sleep right in the center groove

My Mom Love~Petals can't hardly move.

I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight

And here is where I pass the night

No one disturbs me or dares intrude

Till morning comes and I want food.

I sneak up slowly and begin

To nibble on my Mom Love~Petals chin.

She wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth.

For the morning is here and it's time to play

I always seem to get my way.

So thank you Lord for giving me

A Mom like Love~Petals that I can see.

The one who hugs me and holds me tight

And sacrifices her bed for me at night!!

"Love may make the world go round,

but cats add an extra spin."


Oh, what unhappy twist of fate

Has brought you homeless to my gate?

The gate where once another stood

To beg for shelter, warmth and food.

For from that day I ceased to be

The master of my destiny.

While he, with purr and velvet paw

Became within my house the law.

He scratched the furniture and shed

And claimed the middle of my bed.

He ruled with arrogance and pride

And broke my heart the day he died.

So if you think, oh Cat

I'd willingly relive all that

Because you come forlorn and thin

Well....don't just stand there....

Come on in!

By Francis Witham