Chp 9
Kat awoke slowly, and tried to focus her eyes. The room she was in was a pale blue color, and she was on the floor. The floor didn't feel like a floor. "That's weird" she thought to herself. She could hear a voice talking softly in the background, and strained to hear it.
"Hello Kaitlin" a deep voice and a hand on her shoulder caused her to jump. She turned around and was met by a man.
"Hi," she looked at him strangely, because she didn't know him.
"Don't be alarmed, Kaitlin. You'll know me soon."
'Who the fuck is this? Where the fuck am I?' Kat thought peering at him. The man laughed.
"I told you, you'll find out soon enough. And as for where you are, use your judgment. I was the one who bestowed such good judgment into you."
Kat crinkled up her nose, not sure what the man meant.
"OK, so you can stop being confused, I'll explain. I am Antonio. Your guardian angel."
'This isn't right...' Kat thought.
"Kaitlin, I was sent to you, because, I made you, and I have to tell you when you die"
"Die?????" Kat yelled. "I'm not dead! I cant be! I'm 19! I've had my dreams start to unfold. I'm going to have a baby! I am NOT DEAD"
"Kaitlin, you are not supposed to be so upset. Here you can have anything you want, do anything you want."
Kats mind flashed to Howie. "Where's Howie? I have to talk to him."
"He's sitting beside you. He's rubbing your hand, talking to you."
Kats eyes filled with tears. "I want to hear what he is saying."
"Listen, then. You'll here him. Just let everything else leave you."
Kat sighed, and closed her eyes. Suddenly, Howies voice became crystal clear.
"Its going to be OK, baby. The doctor said he'd be back in a few minutes to talk to me. Then hell make everything OK, and you'll be with me, OK? I promise nothing will ever happen to you again."
Kat could see Howie then, sitting beside her. She saw his eyes start to fill with tears.
"Sweetheart, this is all my fault. If I hadn't been a jerk, you would have been with me last night, instead of alone. You wouldn't be here" Howie bent his head to her hand, and cried.
"Howie! Stop crying!" Kat shouted.
" He cant hear you."
"Make him stop crying!" Kat cried.
"I cant. Its part of the process."
"Just make him stop" Kat cried. "Doesn't he know I'm dead?"
"He's about to find out. Listen." Antonio hushed, and Kat closed her eyes, to see a doctor come into her room.
"Mr. Dorough?"
"Yes, Doctor, please tell me what's wrong."
"Well, Ms Fisher has sustained several blows to her head. She was kicked several times sharply in her lower abdomen. She has a deep concussion. Several ribs are broken, and she has massive internal bleeding. She may not come out of her coma"
Kat watched Howie face drop.
"Than...Thank you, Doctor." Howie shook the mans hand, and sat next to her again. Kat saw him search her face. Kat opened her eyes, unable to look at Howies expression.
"Why do I have to die?" Kat asked Antonio, who was standing a few feet from her.
"Remember how you almost died as a baby? Well, you had come to this same room, and I pleaded with the powers to let you live. They agreed."
"But, I'm too young to die now. If my life was to be this short, why let me life at all?"
"Kaitlin, do you know how much you have affected everyone you know? You've changed everyone's life! Your family wouldn't be who they are without you. You have changed all your friends lives too. Especially Howies. Tell me this, what is the one thing you always dreamed of?"
"To be famous." Kat replied quietly. "And to meet someone who truly loved me"
"As horrible as it sounds......you will become a true legend because of this. You wont be someone who does cheesy horror films when you turn 40. And you met your true love. That's all the powers would allow you to do. I'm sorry"
"But, its not fair. I have to talk to Howie again. One last time." Kat looked at her guardian angel with pleading eyes.
"Kaitlin, its not my decision"
"Cant you please ask?" Kat begged.
"I'll go ask" Antonio sighed, and left the room quickly. Kat sat on the floor. What seemed like hours later, Antonio reappeared.
"You have 15 minutes." He said. Kat smiled weakly. She closed her eyes and was transported.
Kat eyes tried to take in the bright light. The white walls of the hospital room made everything brighter. She looked over to where she knew Howie was sitting. She felt herself start to break down in tears. He was asleep. She could see his eyes were red from tears and exhaustion. She tried to wiggle her hands, hopefully waking him up. The tears continued to streak down her face. She didn't have much time. Howies eyes finally flickered open.
"Kat? Are you crying? Are you in pain? Are you awake? I need to get the doctor!" Howies urgent voice shot out everything at once. Kat shook her head, but Howie turned to get up. She grabbed for his hand.
"No. I don't need a doctor" She managed to squeak out. He turned back to her and enveloped his hand in hers. "Just sit please. I have to tell you something." Howie sat back down and looked at her.
"Before you say anything, I want you to know how sorry I am. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry we fought ever. I'm sorry about everything."
"Howie, I forgive you. I should be thanking you."
"For what?"
"For loving me. You have made me the happiest person alive. Just knowing you were in love with me, and wanted me around you, that will keep me happy forever." She paused. "Come lay next to me, please. I need you to hold me" Howie did as he was asked, laying next to her carefully. He pout his arm around her and started to run his fingers though her hair softly.
"Howie, sweetheart, I need you to do a few things for me"
"Alright." he whispered.
"Please tell my family that I love them, and I'm sorry I never got to make up with them completely. Tell the guys I love them, especially Kevin. He was like my big brother."
"Kat, what are you talking about? You can tell them yourself"
"No Howie, I cant"
"But, Kat, you cant leave me. I need you."
"I have to. I was allowed to come say good-bye."
"Kat, you cant leave me! I love you, you cant leave...." Howies cheeks were stained with tears.
"I'm not leaving you. Howie, I'll always be with you." She placed her hand on his heart, and tried to smile. His hand quickly covered hers.
"Remember the day at the airport, when you asked me who my favorite Backstreet Boy had been, and I said you? You laughed?" Howie shook his head.
"It was always you. I loved you then. That day, I wanted to take you and never let you go. From the first moment I met you, I knew you were the one. I have always known you were the one."
"Kat, please don't leave me. You're the only one for me too, well get married, and well have a family, and you'll become a huge star, and..." Kat shushed him.
"I have to go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to leave. I don't want you to cry over me. You'll meet someone else, and start a family, and forget about me. You and the guys are jut going to be even bigger, and you cant let a stupid girl from Delaware make you sad."
"You aren't a stupid girl" Howies eyes overflowed with the tears. 'You are the only one I love. I'll never met anyone else that'll even come close to you."
"Its OK, I will be smiling the entire time."
"Kat, I'm so sorry bout everything I've put you through."
"Howie, shh.....I forgive you. And remember, Don't break too many hearts, OK?"
"Me?" Howie laughed slightly.
"Yes, you." Kat smiled too.
"Kat I love you more then anything."
"I love you too."
Kat leaned over and kissed him, breathing her last breath. Howie felt himself start to shake, and held Kat tightly.
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