Welcome to My Own Dream Zone! This page is a monument to my personal, twisted subconscious, and the dreams and nightmares it has produced...

Dreams I've Dreamed

To be honest, I'm not remembering my dreams in the morning like I used to (with some exceptions...Perhaps it has to do with years of former debauchery!). However, on my recent trip to California (from Pennsylvania, summer of '98), I had wild, memorable dreams. I don't know if it was jet lag (I'd never been on an airplane before) or something in the air/water, but they continued my whole two weeks in San Diego. Two of them involved a woman I'd been engaged to (about ten years ago). Here in the real world, I hear she blew up like a beach ball, but in the first of these two dreams she looked trimmer than she had when we were together. She was on very high platform shoes (She's only 4' 11"), and her blonde hair was clear down to her ankles (usually not past her shoulder blades), like Crystal Gayle. I've never been attracted to that, but on her it looked good! It helped me ascribe nothing romantic to the dream remembering the next morning how she'd treated me when our relationship ended.

The second involved a lot of hubbub. For some reason, I'd released a bunch of animals that were in transit from some laboratory at the airport. I'm by no means an "animal rights" advocate, and think that as it may benefit humanity and is humane, experimentation using animals is excusable. Don't get me wrong. I love animals (...They're delicious! Hahaha!!!), but there I was in this dream taking bows for the t.v. news cameras for something I wouldn't ordinarily do. As I went up the escalator, a line of dogs, cats, and monkeys were coming down the other way, giving me the high-five with their little paws. The director of the laboratory stood by, fuming and vowing to get even with me. Just then I heard that my ex-fiancee and her parents just got off of a plane at a certain terminal there. The director over-heard this, and got an evil gleam in his eye...I saw him walk over to the girl I was out there in San Diego to meet, and whisper in her ear. She pulled up her sleeves, making like she was spoiling for a fight, and went stomping off toward their gate. I was frozen, surrounded by reporters sticking microphones and lights in my face. I woke up not being able to decide whether to go try to warn my ex, or just let her get her butt kicked and enjoy it!

Growing up, my bedroom in my parent's house was a great place for dreams. One night I dreamed I was in Vietnam during the war, and as a prisoner, I was in a pit dug into the ground. My captors were covering the hole with wooden boards, and piling rocks on top of it. As the light in the hole started to dim, I began pushing on the boards, yelling "Let me out!" "Let me outta here!" I woke up standing on my bed, pushing on the ceiling, yelling "Let me out!" "Let me outta here!!!"

Back when punk/new wave was the sensible alternative to disco, I dreamed I was in my parent's bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. I had short, spiky hair on top, and it was long in the back (like the Marvel comics character, Longshot). I was wearing fingerless gloves, a waist-length Korean War flight jacket covered with buttons and safety pins, and had an ear ring in my ear. I thought to myself, "Hmmm...Not bad!" I walked out into the hall, and down at the end, right there in my parent's dining room, was John Travolta! He was decked out in platform shoes, polyester flared pants and open-to-the navel shirt. His gold chains jingled, and he was pulling down on his snap-brim cap doing a li'l dance. I said, "John, grow up and join The Eighties!!!"

I dreamed that the vampire from The Night Stalker movie had jumped on my back, and when I woke up, there WAS something on my back!!! I thrashed around, and I could feel it flopping around back there, trying to get me! As I flipped over, a hand shot up around my throat! Suddenly I was embarrassed but relieved to realize that it was my own arm that had fallen asleep!

Once, after a nightmare about giant spiders, I woke up in pitch black and felt something in bed with me! I grabbed hold of it as hard as I could, determined not to let go of it until I could get to the light switch (It was as big as the spiders from the dream, with nearly as many appendages!), and in a blind panic, with my legs flailing to disentangle themselves, the bed sheet trailed across the floor. As the light came on, I could finally catch my breath again when I saw that it was my own hand that had fallen asleep!

Dreams have a funny way of distorting architecture and geography. In a dream plainly set in my grandmother's house, on a staircase from my Great-Aunt Dorothy's house, stood Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, clutching the banister at the bottom step. I made him cry when I kept calling him "Dee-Dee" in a taunting, mocking, sissified, "girly-voice"!

At some point after I had to acknowledge Michael Jackson might have some talent (I think I liked the science fiction/animation in his Moonwalker video) and before he payed millions in a settlement in a child molestation suit, I dreamed I was sitting on the curb right across from Hunter's News in Meadville, PA. I'd heard he was doing a show in Erie, PA that night, and wouldn't you know it, around the corner came a white stretch limousine. It stopped right in front of me, and the door opened. I leaned down and peered inside. There he was, and I said, "Hey, Mike, how ya doin'?!" His manager/agent, whatever, told me Michael wanted to talk to me. As we rode around what passed for Meadville (There was a billboard over the Academy Theater with a bunch of Japanese writing on it, and a great big picture of John Travolta in a cowboy hat), though, his manager did most of the talking...Michael was strangely very quiet. After his manager told me what Michael wanted to convey (I still don't have a clue), they let me out, and I started to walk home with my jacket slung over my shoulder. I'd never, to the best of my knowledge, seen Michael's "handler" before that dream. A couple days later, though, I saw him on t.v., and sure enough, it was the same guy!

I had a series of dreams in college (Edinboro University of Pa.), about twenty years ago, in which I encountered a tall, pretty blonde girl that I was convinced was named Annie. They seemed to be more than dreams (almost more than real, if you can imagine). At the time, I was dating a beautiful blonde girl, and I suppose part of them could have come from my mind trying to sort that one out. I really did love her (the REAL girl, that is), but I was an immature jerk at the time, rebelling against God and man. She was the sweetheart of my youth (at least that's how I saw her in my more sane moments), and a true gem. It took ten years for me to let go of how I screwed up with THAT one. At the time of my dreams about Annie (That name didn't come from the dreams, but I'll refer to her as that here because that's what I called her then), I had other dreams of fame and fortune, and I guess my girlfriend just didn't "get it". She was embarrassed by my flamboyance, preferring all things "preppy". Looking back as I am now, things would have probably never worked out with her regardless, but herewith are those dreams.

I was lying on my back, and all I could see around me was blank white nothingness. From out of nowhere Annie came into my view, her long, blonde hair hanging down around our faces, and as she said my name, loud and sharp, my eyes snapped open, making me wide awake.

I was in a huge bubble on the ocean floor, and the thing was filled with people sitting on folding chairs, facing a stage. On it there was a guy with a microphone talking to another guy giving a testimony about how Christ had healed his vision and hearing after an accident had rendered the whole left side of his head disfigured. They handed me the microphone, asking me to lead the congregation in a hymn, and I didn't know the words to the song! I shrugged my shoulders in an embarrassed fashion, handed the microphone to somebody else, and went to the back, feeling dejected. This beautiful woman with long blonde hair was there, sitting on a bench attached to the wall, and she consoled me. We made love, and the mutual chemistry charged the air in the bubble...We were naked, but alone together for all the people that had been there just before that. Finally, I remember curling up under a heavy canvas on the bench, and falling fast asleep. Though this part of it is unclear, as contented and whole as I felt, I'm reasonably sure she was under there with me!

It was dark, but into a bright area came Annie. She had on tight, tapered pants with purple and black stripes, and a black sweater. As she walked toward me, smiling, I woke up. Lying in the dark, I remembered I was on my girlfriend's bed, and there she was behind me, up on one elbow, looking down at me. "You were talking in your sleep," she said. Yikes!!!

I was in a Fashion Bug type store and I could see her from behind in a tan knit dress as she walked through the racks of clothes . From a great distance away, I began zooming in as if flying with a great rush, and just as she turned to face me, I woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed, shouting "I GOT it!!!" When I flopped back down, I whacked my head on the bulletin-board frame that hung on the wall next to the bed, seeing stars...I still have a small scar over my left eye from that, but have no earthly idea what it was that I "got".

Somehow, in my waking moments, I got the idea Annie lived in Andover, Ohio (again, a long story), and I drove over there to try to find her one Valentine's Day. Not finding her there, I sat in bars, lost count after nine rum-and-cokes, and totalled a nice Chevy Malibu Classic on the drive home! Needless to say, my girl in the real world was none too thrilled that I had to cancel our date later that night, me being without transportation. Of course, if she'd known the real reason I'd wrecked and what I was doing in Andover she'd have most likely hated me for it! Believe me, I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened.

Some time after my dreams about Annie, I had a dream about a pretty li'l dark haired girl who was wearing a bandana around her neck, and had a leather biker jacket on. She was chastising me, telling me I shouldn't judge a person by their appearance! As a Christian, I suppose either I subconsciously had been guilty of thinking ill of people because of the way they looked (I believe the biblical admonition to avoid the appearance of evil refers to actions, not style), or was having some anxiety because I, myself, often dress the same way she was, worrying about how others viewed me. I've also had problems with assuming that pretty, cool girls couldn't possibly be interested in me, though I should know from experience that that's clearly not always the case, and would be reluctant to approach them (I had the impression that that was the main gist of the message she was trying to send). Lest anyone think I'm stuck on a certain type (blondes) because of my dreams about Annie, I can go for women with a wide variety of looks. My Aunt Delores says I'm like God; I love 'em ALL!!! Also, though I think it's important that there's a physical attraction between two people, I continue to look for a woman with whom I'd be equally yoked spiritually, knowing that it's what's inside that counts.

After my paternal grandmother died, I dreamed that I was talking to her while holding her hand. I was telling her "I really love Jesus now, Gramma!" The more I talked about my relationship with Jesus Christ, she seemed to faint, and I eased her down onto a couch. Still holding her hand in mine, I saw that it had turned leathery/scaly, and that what I thought was my grandmother was actually a demon (They ARE excellent mimics)! I said, "The Lord rebuke thee," and it became paralyzed as I repeated over and over, "In the name of Jesus...In the name of Jesus...In the name of Jesus!!!"

When I was in Kindergarten, I had a butch hair cut, and wore a li'l blue suit with a crest on the jacket, along with a white shirt and gold knit tie, to Sunday school every week. I had a dream back then in which I was big like I am now (over 6'), and wearing the same blue suit (it was bigger, too...). I was laying on my back on a couch, and there were two naked women laying face-down on top of me (I swear, I have NO interest in the three-way deal)! I had one hand on each of their butts, and we were all hot and sweaty, writhing around...Neither of the women had any nipples!

Around this same time I dreamed of an underground cavern straight out of a James Bond movie (or Get Smart, maybe). There were three clear tubes, like the ones the Jetsons used to get around in, each marked "Blondes", "Brunettes", and "Red-Heads" respectively. There were women of the specified type flowing out of all three tubes, all mixing and mingling out onto the floor of the cavern around them in all sizes, shapes, and colors.

I was walking through a forest when all of a sudden a box-trap dropped on me! It turned out that those who'd ensnared me were a bunch of clones of Mel Gibson that were trying to capture other renegade Mel clones in order to bring them back into the service of their Gibson clone collective. When they realized their mistake, they released me, apologized, and even offered to make a few clones of me if I wanted them to. I said, "No, thanks...I'm unique and I'd like to stay that way!"

I dreamed that as I was teaching one day an overweight kid in one of my classes named Jerry walked up and started talking to me. He was one of those kids who insisted on coming in as close as he could as he was hanging out although he stunk something fierce. I mean, the stench was unbearable. Not only that, but he had a pinkish trunk like an elephant. That part creeped me out, but it was the stink that got to me worse than anything. Just as I woke up I happened to fart and I thought, "Hmmm...That smells suspiciously like Jerry The Elephant-Boy!"

*CLICK HERE TO GO TO GOLGOTHA HOME
*HERE for BIG LIE