Two weeks before Christmas... Why did he always put off his Christmas shopping until two weeks before Christmas?

Jack McCoy stands in line at the Manhattan Mall, wishing he could be anywhere but there.

“Next year, everyone is getting towels- I don’t care who they are,” he mumbles under his breath.

We pan away to see every last minute shopper’s worst nightmare- hundreds upon hundreds of people all bustling along trying to get those gifts. Most of them look quite comfortable in the mall but Jack sticks out like a sore thumb. A preoccupied shopper tries to cut in line but Jack catches him.

“Hey, what the Hell do you think you’re doing?! I’ve been waiting in this line for an hour- you can do the same!”

The man just turns and looks at Jack.

“Hey, can’t you hear me? GO TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!”

“Ah, blow it out your ass, Grandpa.”

“Excuse me?”

Jack has gotten out of line and is now towering over the man, “Care to repeat that?”

The man (who is significantly shorter than Jack) is suddenly a lot less bold.

“Uhhhh...”

“Now get back!”

The man is about to comply when mall security walks up.

“Is this man bothering you?”

“Yes, he cut in-”

“Not you- you.”

The man gives Jack an evil grin. Jack swallows hard.

“Yes, he is threatening me.”

“But he-”

“Sir, could you come with me?”

“But-”

“Sir, if you don’t leave the store immediately I will escort you out.”

“But I have things to buy and-”

“Well, you won’t be buying them here.”

“You don’t understand!”

At this point the guard is dragging Jack out of the store.

“No, I don’t think you understand. You cause any more problems I’ll be forced to call the police.”

“But I work with the police!”

The guard doesn’t listen and tosses Jack out on his butt.

“Merry Christmas!” he adds sarcastically before shutting the door.

“And a merry fucking Christmas to you, too!!!”

Everyone around him stops and stares. A little girl starts crying. Jack gazes around and realizes that he must look like a lunatic. A minute or two passes- he can’t take it any more.

“Don’t you people have something better to be doing? The show’s over!”

They start to disperse but two women hang back. One doesn’t even come near him.

“You should be a ashamed of yourself!” and then walks away.

The other one steps forward and drops a dollar bill at his feet.

“Maybe this will help.”

Jack stares at her, “No, ma’am- I’m not-”

“Don’t worry about it. God bless you.”

“But, but...”

She shakes her head and then strides away.

Jack picks up the dollar and examines it. He sighs and picks himself up off the ground. It is starting to snow.

He rolls his eyes, “Merry Christmas.”

One week before Christmas Jamie Ross is sitting at her computer with headphones on listening to music. She is working on looking up items on Westlaw for Jack’s cases and her own. She starts singing what she is obviously listening to.

“This world is mine for the taking. Make me king as we move toward a new world order. A normal life is boring... You better lose yourself in the music. The moment you own it. You better never let it go. You only get one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow cause opportunity comes once in a lifetime. Go!”

Jack pokes his head in the office door. He has a great ‘wft’ look on his face. He never thought he’d be watching Jamie rap... Well, neither did we.

Jamie feels someone watching her and turns around. Her eyes grow wide when she sees Jack standing there. She tries to act normal.

“Exactly, how long have you been there?”

“Too long.”

“Okay... can I help you with something?”

“I wanted to let you know that we’ll be working the week of the 25th.”

“You’re kidding me, right? I took that time off six months ago! Katie and I are going up to see her grandparents in Vermont.”

“You can do it some other time. I want to get our desks cleared out for the New Year.”

“WHAT?!”

Jack just walks away but now Jamie is enraged and chases after him.

“What gives you the right to decide how I spend my holidays?!”

“I’m the Executive Assistant District Attorney.”

“So that gives you license to be a dictator?”

“If you don’t like the requirements of your job I suggest you try the ‘help wanted’ ads.”

“No, what I don’t like is being told last minute to drop my life to suit your needs!”

“Tough!”

He starts to leave again.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

“This discussion is over!”

By now the whole office is watching the showdown.

“Oh no it’s not! I’m not finished!”

“I AM!”

She follows him right into his office, “You can’t ruin my Christmas just because you have no family, nothing to be happy about, and just overall have no life outside of work!”

Jack whips around. He is barely able to contain his own rage at this point. He clenches up his hands into fists and goes almost toe-to-toe with her.

“Get out,” he orders in a dangerously calm voice.

Jamie is, for the first time in their fight, unnerved.

Jack breaks eye contact with her and steps back. Jamie takes this chance to silently leave, shutting the door behind her.

Back in the office, we see Jack take a savage kick at the trash basket (last seen in “Stange Bedfellows”). It goes flying across the room and crashes into the wall. He flops into his chair and stares at his desk. He is already starting to regret his outburst. Jamie wouldn’t him get away with treating her badly and Jack wouldn’t want her to. He just wished he wasn’t such a hot-head sometimes. He had known that the Christmas thing would send her over the edge so why had he done it? He had been in a mood all day... Maybe that was why... He had just wanted to pick a fight and Jamie was a convenient target because she hadn’t been bothering anyone and was happy.

He sighs, “She’s right- I can’t stand anyone to be happy when I’m not.”

The next day, Jamie stays as far away from Jack as possible. She doesn’t even wish him Merry Christmas before she leaves that night, as is her custom. He knows that he will not see her next week. Adam comes around as Jack is getting ready to leave.

“Miss Ross told me about what happened yesterday.”

“I figured that... I was expecting you to be around sooner.”

“I thought I would let you cool down some.”

“Thanks.”

“Save your courtesies- what makes you think you can bully around co-workers?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘bullying’.”

“Oh really? Trying to force a person to do something is not bullying?”

“Well...”

“And how dare you try to pull rank on her! You know that I have the final say on who works and who doesn’t during the holidays.”

“Yes...”

“I don’t care why you did it but it had better NEVER happen again or YOU will be the one looking in the ‘help wanted’ ads.”

Adam stomps out, slamming the door behind him.

Jack rubs his eyes and, for the first time, notices a card sitting on his desk. He opens it- a Christmas card from Jamie. It has a picture of a stable on the front and the words ‘Peace On Earth’ on the front. Inside, Jamie has written a special note for him-

“Merry Christmas, you asshole.”

He lays the card down and leans back in his chair.

Monday rolls around as it usually does for Jack. He gets up at 7:30am and stumbles to the kitchen for cereal, juice, and milk. Well, at least that was the way it was supposed to happen. Except today- today the kitchen was bare.

“Who the Hell ate my Cheerios?!”

A voice in his head answers him, “You did, you dolt! There ain’t no one else here!”

He has to settle for some toast and milk- he was out of juice, too.

He switches on the radio as is his custom, to get the morning news but is instead practically blasted out of the room by a rousing chorus of ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’. His hand shoots across the table and slams the ‘OFF’ button.

“Only an excuse for idiots to get a day or two off work!”

“Yeah, and more time for you to be alone with your thoughts- no work to distract you.”

“Shut up!”

“You know, the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself.”

Jack tries to sit and pretend that he hadn’t just thought that but it’s no use. He stares at his, now cold, toast and slightly sour milk and shakes his head.

“Who lives like this?”

“People like you, obviously.”

Jack drums his fingers on the table for a moment and then stands up.

“This is ridiculous! I’m scaring myself!”

“Believe what you want.”

“I’m going to get some decent breakfast.”

He stops and thinks about this...

“Who the Hell am I talking to?”

“Good question. Weird things happen when you live alone for most of your life.”

This time, Jack doesn’t reply to the voice. He makes tracks for the door, leaving his mess for later.

We open on the typical corner coffee shop. Christmas decorations are everywhere and music is playing from a radio behind the counter. The front door opens and in walks Jack. He almost turns around and walks right back out but one of the waitresses recognizes him.

“Jack McCoy!”

Jack searches for the origin of the greeting. A plump, gray-haired, middle-aged woman is hurrying up to him. He can’t hold back the smile that comes as he remembers her.

“Olive, my love (Olive is actually the first name of my grandma on my mom's side. The character of Olive in this story is inspired by her.)!”

She shakes her head, “You’re still not good enough for me.”

“Is anyone?”

She throws back her head and laughs, “You’re terrible.”

Jack shrugs and gives her an innocent look, “I only speak the truth.”

“Right. Now what can I do for you?”

“You could let me buy you a cup of coffee.”

“I believe that is allowable.”

A few minutes later we see Jack sitting at the counter and Olive is on the other side, sipping her coffee.

“So what brings you out of your cave?”

“I wanted some pancakes and you guys have got the best.”

“Always with the con man’s charm- I think you missed your true calling.”

“I’m a lawyer- what better con man is there?”

“Good point.”

She takes another sip and eyes Jack suspiciously, “Why are you really here?”

“I told you.”

“Jack, I’ve known you since you moved to New York... I know when you’re lying.”

He chuckles, “Hey...”

“Okay, what are you doing for the holidays?”

Jack mutters something under his breath.

“What?”

“I said I’m going to see my family.”

Olive pushes away, “God, Jack, how long has it been?”

“Not long enough.”

“What prompted this?”

“My sister calling and begging me.”

“Hasn’t she done that before?”

“Yeah, but this time she threaten to come here and drag me back.”

“So have you done your shopping?”

“Oh yeah- socks.”

“Jack...”

“Hey, it’s a lot easier to be a last minute shopper when you only have a few people to buy for.”

“Do you even know how many relatives you have now?”

“Nope.”

“Well, lemme tell you something- it might be a good idea to find out.”

“I’d find out if I really cared.”

She is getting angry with his flippant attitude so she decides to drop a name that is sure to get a rise out of him, “So is Kate (My mother's first name is Kathleen and her family calls her Kate.) going to be there?”

Jack about spits his coffee across the table and she just smiles. When he finally regains control of himself-

“Why would she be? She hates all of them and she hates me even more.”

Olive shrugs, “It was only a thought. Is Thomas going to be there?”

“It would be the only way to make a bad situation worse.”

“So that’s a ‘yes’?”

“Yes.”

“Did any of them get married?”

“I don’t know.”

She rolls her eyes, “Sounds like you’re gonna have an interesting holiday.”

“Yup- it’ll be a red-letter day for the McCoy family.”

Olive pulls a face, “Jack, you could at least try, for the sake of the holidays, to be civil towards them.”

“What fun would that be?”

Olive just shakes her head, “There are times that I truly do not understand you.”

“That’s the whole point- you’re not supposed to.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds. Jack clears his throat, trying to think of something to talk about.

“What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Me? Well, Al and I are going to see the grandchildren up in Rochester. “

“How are they?”

“Great, great. I can’t wait to see them.”

“Got any pictures?”

She smiles broadly, “You kiddin’?”

She goes into the back and a minute later reemerges with her purse in hand.

“Take a look.”

Jack takes the wallet of pictures from her and flips through them.

“They are beautiful. You and Al must be very proud.”

Olive chuckles, “You better believe it.”

Jack hands back the pictures and finishes his pancakes and coffee.

“How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

“Olive, I can’t.”

“Yeah, you can- it’s a rare thing when I get to see you so I probably won’t see you again before Christmas... Consider it your present.”

He grins, “My present was getting to share my breakfast with such lovely company.”

She blushes a little, “Get out of here, you scoundrel.”

“As you wish.”

He gives her a half bow and then departs. Now, in better spirits, he climbs into his car and pulls away from the coffee shop. But no sooner is he on his way then he has to stop at a red light. He grumbles his mild displeasure at this and turns on the radio while he waits. Nothing but Christmas music. He finally finds a talk show- they are discussing the merits of the Islanders latest trade. Jack is more of a Red Wings fan but it’s better than Christmas crap. The light goes green and he begins to move again. As he is passing under the traffic light, he sees out of the corner of his eye something move but it is too late.

CRASH!!!

Jack’s car goes skidding across the intersection. Others cars swerve to try and avoid him and the car that hit him.

CRASH!!!

Another car slams into him. Inside the car, Jack has given up trying to steer and instead has the steering wheel in a death grip, eyes shut, as he is now wedged between two cars. Finally, they come to stop. He opens his eyes and looks around. Well, at least he is still alive- the pain in his head, which has been jerked back and forth, tells him that.

All traffic around the accident has ceased to move. Jack is still in shock from the whole event and doesn’t notice the man approaching his ‘car’.

“Sir, are you alright?”

Jack breaks from his daze and peers out the remains of his driver’s side window to see a young man in a business suit looking at him quite worriedly.

“I was in that car,” he points to the second car that hit Jack, “I tried to avoid you but I couldn’t. Can you move?”

“Yeah, kinda...”

“Well... On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t... I’m not a doctor or anything...,” he glaces around, nervously, “I called for an ambulance.”

“Can you help me get this door open?” Jack indicates the driver’s side door, “It’s jammed.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Listen, you help me or I do it myself. Either way, I’m getting outta here.”

The man doesn’t know what to say in the face of the older man’s stubbornness so he just grabs the handle and pulls with all his might as Jack pushes from inside. After a few tries the door pops open and Jack almost falls out (He is wearing his seat belt and SO SHOULD YOU!). He reaches over and unbuckles himself. Trembling, he makes his way to the side walk with the man. It is then that Jack notices the car that caused the accident.

“How are they?”

“He’s okay, I think. Stuck in there pretty good, though, and swearing a blue streak.”

“I would be, too”

A few hours later we see Jack making his way into the office looking none too happy. He nearly runs right over Alice, his nosy and stuck-up secretary (last seen in “Strange Bedfellows), who is trying to hand him some paperwork.

“Mr. McCoy! Mr. McCoy!”

Jack stops outside of his office and turns around.

“What?!”

“Well, you don’t have to be short with me, Mr. McCoy.”

“Yes, I do. If I didn’t I would never see your face.”

Alice gives him a funny look- the slam on her lack of height has gone right over her head. Jack can see this and sighs in frustration.

“What do you want?”

“Here,” she shoves the papers into his hands and shuffles away.

Jack closes his eyes and mumbles something that we can not hear as he opens the door to his office and walks in. Adam is already in there, waiting for him.

“Adam?”

“The hospital called. Said you walked out of the emergency room.”

He pushes past Adam to get to his desk, “I didn’t need anything- I’m fine.”

“So you say now.”

“I am fine.”

“Jack, you were in a three car accident-”

“And my car is totaled- so?”

“I just think your departure was a little... Pre-mature.”

“I have work to do before I leave Wednesday.”

“It could wait.”

“For what? Adam, I’m okay. Couldn’t be better.”

“Right. When do you leave on Tuesday?”

“I’m taking the 7:45 out of La Guardia.”

“Is it a non-stop flight?”

“No. I have to make a transfer at Detroit Metro (Hey, I was born and raised in Michigan, about an hour north of Detroit. I couldn't pass up the chance to have Jack spend some time here.).”

Adam nods, “It will be hectic.”

“You don’t need to tell me that. Have you ever seen Union Station?”

“No.”

“Well, when I was a kid my Uncle Max and Aunt Rebecca would come in on the train from Lansing for Christmas. We, my family and I, would meet them at Union Station. That place was a mess any time of day but in the days leading up to Christmas it was damn near impossible. I can only imagine what O’Hare is going to be like.”

“You’ve never gone home the holidays before?”

Jack busies himself organizing his desk, “No... I haven’t.”

Adam stares at him. He wants to ask more but it is obvious that Jack doesn’t want to talk about this any further. He can only shake his head and leave. Once he is gone, Jack is able to flop down in his chair and consider the events of the morning. He glances down at his desk. His plane tickets sit, benignly, in front of him.

“Bah humbug.”

Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you? Why have you gone away? Where is the laughter you used to bring me? Why can’t I music play?

Tuesday comes and we find Jack at home working on his packing. Now, he is starting to look nervous. He has no idea what to expect when he finally gets there.

“I wish I had paid more attention to Ann (Ann is my mother's middle name.) when she called,” he mumbles to himself.

He holds up two pairs of jeans and ponders them.

“Should I just pack jeans or should I take some khakis as well?”

Jack rolls his eyes- he was doing it again.

“I’m gonna buy a cat so that anytime I start talking to myself I can say that I’m actually talking to the cat.”

He seriously considers this for all of ten seconds and then dismisses it.

“I won’t subject a poor animal to living with me,” He smiles at this and then continues his packing.

Night falls and at La Guardia Airport holiday travelers run around looking for relatives, checking baggage, and dashing to terminals. Jack McCoy strides into view. The face he wears is one of both nervousness and dread. He checks his ticket again and looks for his terminal. Finding it, he trudges on his way.

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away in another airport, a familiar mother and daughter wade their way through the crowd.

“Rene! Keep up!”

“What do think I’m doing back here? Twiddling my thumbs?”

“With you, I never know.”

“Gee, thanks Mom.”

“You’re welcome.”

Rene drags one bag and Sabrina drags another. Together they stumble along.O’Hare Airport was terrible this time of year and they were caught up in it atop an escalator. Sabrina steps off and makes a beeline to luggage check.

“Rene! Get your bags up here so we can get them checked!”

Sabrina glances back over her shoulder- Rene is gone. The mother spins around, trying to find her but to no avail. Worry begins to creep in- O’Hare was no place to be lost at anytime let alone Christmas. She scurries back through the mass of people, searching frantically.

“Rene? Rene?!”

Just as she is becoming truly desperate, a commotion over by the escalator grabs her attention. Mother’s intuition takes over and she runs toward the disturbance. Pushing others aside she is greeted with the sight of Rene being dragged off, her leg bending in an unnatural direction.

“Damn...,” she mumbles under her breath and goes to help her daughter.

It is just before midnight when Jack steps out into Detroit Metro Airport. His plane to Chicago doesn’t leave until 12:45am so he has some time to get out and stretch. The snow is starting to fall heavier.

“Blizzard, blizzard, blizzard,” he wishfully thinks.

He gazes up at the large board that lists each airlines’ flights and whether or not they were running on time- his is going to be leaving on time.

“Damn.”

He kicks a pop can (or soda can... or soda pop can... depends on where you are from) out of his path. It doesn’t get very far. He stares at the can for a second and then brings his foot down upon it with a crunch. He smiles at this and is about to try to find something else to crush when a voice over the loud-speaker interrupts telling him that his plane is now boarding.

We open on a scene of almost whiteout conditions. A woman rushes by our field of vision. We follow her. A building emerges from the snow and she ducks into it. Inside hundreds of people mill around. She glances around but doesn’t seem to find what se is looking for. A large, lit up sign tells us that all flights are delayed- this is O’Hare Airport. She sees this and sighs.

“Perfect.”

She runs toward a terminal where others are waiting for relatives and friends.

“What’s going on?” she asks the person closest to her.

A man turns to face her, “All flights in are being delayed because of the snow. Who are you waiting for?”

“My brother... He was supposed to be coming in on the 12:45 from Detroit.”

“It’s probably in a holding pattern over the airport waiting for visibility to clear up.”

Over a thousand feet up we find Jack’s airplane, waiting for an opportunity to land. In the plane, Jack is feeling very queasy.

“I wanted a blizzard before I got on the plane, not while I was on it!” he groans under his breath.

They have been like this for nearly half an hour with no end in sight. Jack closes his eyes- usually he didn’t a problem with plane travel but he wasn’t a fan of heights so being stuck here gave him a lot of time to think about how far up they are and how one wrong move could send them plummeting toward certain death.

“Okay, so I’ve finally found something worse than spending Christmas with my family.”

The intercom comes to life, “This is your captain speaking- we have been given clearance to land so make sure your carry-on luggage is secured, you have your tray tables up, and you are wearing your seatbelt. A stewardess comes around to check the passengers. She glances at Jack and smiles. His seatbelt is on so tight it’s a wonder he can breath and he is grasping the armrests like his hands are talons.

“We’ll be fine, sir.”

“I know that.”

She smiles again and goes on her way.

Time has passed and we are back on the ground in the airport. The woman we have come to know as Jack’s sister is still waiting at the terminal. The plane is unloading and people start to come out of the hallway. She looks anxiously for Jack not really knowing what she’s even looking for. It has been so long since she has seen him- who knows how much he has changed? Suddenly, a man appears and she gasps. It takes a moment to register that it is Jack and not her father. Not knowing what else to do, she yells her brother’s name.

“John!”

At first, Jack doesn’t respond to this. No one calls him by his real first name. He walks right by her.

“John! Johnny!”

Jack stops dead in his tracks and turns, a look of bewilderment on his face. His sister breaks free of the crowd and runs to him.

“Johnny!” she practically topples him over as she embraces him.

Jack is now throughly confused and stares down at her. She pulls away, sensing his confusion.

“Johnny, it’s me.”

Jack gazes at her and it is then that a memory comes to him- a girl calling him outside to show him a chipmunk.

“Johnny, come look at this! He’s eating right from my hand!”

“Ann?”

She nods vigorously and embraces him again, “After all this time... I thought you had forgotten me.”

Jack is definitely not used to being held like this and it shows. He manages to slip from her grip and places his hands on her shoulders to prevent more contact of that sort.

“Wow! You’ve grown a lot!”

“Well, yeah, John, that happens- especially when you haven’t seen someone for, oh what, 30 years?”

“Has it been that long?”

Ann pulls away and glares at him, “You know damn well how long it’s been so don’t even try to act like you don’t.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me- you’re the one who dragged me out here.”

They are walking now. Jack breaks away momentarily to pick up his luggage. Ann waits for him. When he rejoins her, she is ready to debate with him further.

“I wanted you back here so we could try to be a family again.”

Jack laughs, “Again? You have to be a family to start with to be one again.”

“At least I’m trying to make it work! You didn’t even try- you ran away and left us to deal with it!”

He spins around, “I didn’t run anywhere- I had to leave to go to NYU.”

“Doesn’t mean you had to stay.”

They reach Ann’s car, “I can go back, if that would make you happy.”

“No! You’re staying!” then, softer, “Jack...”

He is surprised by her calling him Jack and not John and so he waits for her to continue.

“Jack, this means a lot to me... And it would have meant a lot to Mom so please, try.”

The mention of his mother sobers Jack and, as a result, the ride back from the airport is a silent one.

My world is changing. I'm rearranging. Does that mean Christmas changes too?

The snow is starting to let up when Ann and Jack pull into a driveway. We can see that someone has cleared the driveway and sidewalk.

Ann glances at Jack, “Here we are.”

“Whoopee.”

Ann scowls at him and he says no more. They get out and make their way to the front door. Jack falls behind his sister. She halts just before entering.

“Welcome home, John.”

Jack winces, “Ann, I would appreciate it if you would call me Jack.”

Another scowl, “Why? John is what I have always called you.”

“Call me Jack or I won’t be talking to you for the rest of my stay.”

Ann sighs, “Fine... But I just don’t understand why-”

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

Ann stares at him. She gets a wicked grin on her face- oh the joys being siblings, “Sure thing, Dad.”

She means this as a joke but Jack doesn’t take it this way.

“Call me that again and I will leave.”

Ann stands for a moment, speechless but snaps out of it and opens the door. They step into a spacious hallway.

“Take your shoes off and I’ll take your coat,” Ann won’t meet his gaze.

Jack realizes that he has hurt her feelings but can not bring himself to apologize. He just hands her his coat and waits for her to direct him where to go.

“Upstairs- first door on the right.”

She shuffles away leaving Jack alone in the hall. Yeah, this was gonna be a great holiday.

Jack doesn’t come down for dinner that evening and no one invites him. He hears voices outside his bedroom door but never checks to see who it is. After his confrontation with Ann, he is in no mood to socialize- he only wishes to be left to himself.

Hours pass- it is now nearly midnight and Jack ventures out to explore. The house is dark and Jack has to step carefully so as not to fall head-over-heels on the staircase. Once on the lower level his way is lit by lights outside. He stumbles into what he takes to be the living room. The walls are lined with family pictures and portraits.

“Hummm... Very homey.”

One picture catches his eye- one of two children. He looks closer- two girls.

“So my little sister has kids.”

“Yes, she does,” a voice in the darkness concurs.

Jack practically jumps a foot and whirls around to face his visitor.

“I really hope there is someone else here or else the voices in my head are getting A LOT scarier!”

Ann appears from the shadows in her bathrobe, “Voices?”

Jack lets out a sigh of relief- he wasn’t going completely insane yet.

“Ann, you scared the shit outta me.”

“Sorry.”

“What are you doing up?”

“I heard you get up and I was curious.”

“Did I wake you up?”

“Nah.”

“I was looking at your pictures.”

Ann nods, “Those are my daughters- Colleen and Moira (Colleen Moira is actually the first and middle names of my only girl cousin on my mom's side.).”

“I like the names.”

“Mom suggested them... Said that if Tom had been a girl she was gonna name him Colleen Moira McCoy.”

“God, you can’t get much more Mic than that.”

Ann punches him lightly, “Don’t say that word... It’s disgusting... Makes us sound like drunken, idiotic, hot-heads.”

“Explains why people call me that.”

Ann smiles in spite of herself, “Har, har... Any ways, Jack, why are you up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

A thought occurs to Ann, “Jack, did you even know I got married?”

“Yeah... I remember getting the wedding invite.”

“You never came.”

Jack pretends to find something very interesting on the floor, “I meant to talk to you about that... Never got around to it, though.”

“Well, I’m here right now- explain, boy.”

“It’s... complicated.”

“That’s a song, not an explanation.”

Jack fidgets as he tries to think up a suitable reason for missing his only sister’s wedding.

“I’m waiting.”

“Well, you see... Ann, it’s like this... I really wanted to but... I couldn’t.”

Ann rolls her eyes, “You know, you really are something, Jonathan James McCoy.”

“Awww, Ann don’t get all worked up about something that happened 20 years ago.”

Her eyes narrow, “Excuse me?”

“It’s not worth getting upset about. It happened and neither of us can change it, so it’s not worth it.”

“What’s happened to you?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not my brother.”

“If I’m not your brother then why am I putting up with all this crap?”

“Funny... That’s one thing that hasn’t changed.”

“What?”

“A wise-ass comment for every occasion.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Huh?”

“How do you get your dishwasher to work? Slap her around a little.”

Ann sighs, “Classic Dad. He had something to say no matter what.”

“All inappropriate, all in poor taste.”

“Jacko, I hope you don’t act like him all the time.”

“Jacko? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.”

“Mom always called ya that.”

“I know. Just been a long time since someone called me it.”

“Well, at least you came back for funeral.”

“And nearly got my butt kicked by Dad as my welcome home gift.”

“Yeah... Dad never really liked you, did he?”

“Oh he loved me. Why you think he made me become a lawyer?”

“To live his life through your’s.”

Jack makes his way back into the darkened living room and Ann follows.

“I don’t think Dad and I would have agreed on the time of day.”

“You wanna know why, Jacko?”

Jack gets a shit-eating grin on his face, “We’re both sons-a-bitches?”

“You’re too much a like.”

He grimaces, “Couldn’t you just have said that we were both sons-a-bitches and ended it at that?”

“Come on, Jack- you’re both stubborn, anti-social, drinkers who are angry all the time and have problems with women-”

Jack clears his throat, “No problem there.”

Ann is about to say something else when she catches what he has just said. She stops and stares at him, “What did you just say?”

Jack gives her a mischievous look, “Four assistants, one of them an ex-wife.”

She buries her face in her hands to try and cover up the giggling but is unsuccessful, “Oh God, you’re awful.”

Jack rubs the back of his neck and smiles, “I guess what makes me a good lawyer also makes me a...a...”

“A womanizer?”

“Call it what you like.”

“So what makes you a good lawyer and a womanizer?”

“A con-man’s charm.”

“Well, let’s just hope you use it for good and not evil.”

“A little from Column A, a little from Column B...”

“You wanna know what makes you a McCoy?”

“What?”

“You can make fun of yourself even if it’s not involving the greatest of your aspects.”

Jack arches his eyebrows, “Guilty as charged.”

“We all are- we’re Irish and we were born and raised in Chicago.”

He shrugs, “”Meh. I went off to New York.”

“Maybe those New Yorkers taught you something about women.”

“Here’s a clue- I’ve gone through four of’em. They couldn’t have taught me all that much.”

Ann rolls her eyes and then turns more serious, “You got married?”

“And divorced- they come as a box set ya know.”

“So my big brother got hitched without telling anyone.”

“I seriously doubt anyone would have wanted to be there.”

“I would have and I bet Mom and Dad and Tom would have, too.”

“Okay, let me put it this way- I didn’t want anyone to come.”

There is silence and then, “Was it a boy or a girl?”

Jack almost falls off the chair arm he is sitting on, “What?”

“You’re a womanizer, got married, didn’t want anyone to be there, and then you got divorced. It doesn’t take an NYU educated lawyer to figure out what happened.”

Jack gives his sister an impatient, angry look and marches away from her.

“A girl.”

“I have a niece?”

He waves, non-commit tally, over his shoulder.

“Well, how old is she? Where does she live? Is she married? Does she have any children?”

Jack stops in mid-march, “Well, lemme think... Vicki came to work for the D.A.’s office in May of 1974 and we got married August 19, 1976... Kate was born October 23, 1976... So that would make her... 27. She lives here, in Chicago. Not married yet... That I know of, any ways and no kids... Again, that is as I know of.”

“Kate?”

“Kathleen Ann McCoy. Her mother and I usually called her ‘Kate’ or ‘Kate Ann’.”

“And she lives in town?”

“Unless she has changed addresses since the last time she called me up to tell me what kinda lousy father I was.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and I’d like to add something... Just for the record.”

“Go ahead.”

“Vicki and I got married because, yes, Vicki was pregnant and neither of us wanted a kid being born outta wedlock but we stayed together for nine years after that because we loved each other.”

“And what happened?”

“A new assistant district attorney in my case and a doctor in her’s. All that and the fact that neither of us are much for relationships when things start going wrong.”

“Like what?”

“My job started to demand more of my time and she was mad because she thought that I needed to be at home because I had a family and she was lonely.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, she was right.”

“I’m a workaholic, I know, but I can’t help what I am.”

“You could try.”

Jack shakes his head, “Ya can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Ann walks up beside him (she is noticeably shorter than her brother) and wraps her arms around his waist.

“You might not be able to teach an old dog new tricks but you can open his mind to new ideas.”

Jack looks down and then looks around, trying to figure out what to do about this. When he doesn’t respond to the hug, Ann pulls away.

“Tom will be here tomorrow morning at 10.”

“Ann, I-”

“Don’t stay up too late or you’ll wake up Phil.”

“Phil?”

“My husband who you would have met had you deemed yourself lowly enough to join us for dinner this evening.”

“Ann, come on. Ann?”

All he gets in reply is the slamming of a door somewhere upstairs.

He throws up his hands, “Women!”

The next morning Ann is working in the kitchen when there is a knock at the door.

“Phil, could you get that?”

“Sure.”

A tall man in his late fifties strides into view. He opens the door.

“Hey, Tom!”

“Phil, how ya doin’?”

Ann comes into view and grabs her younger brother, “Tom, how are you?”

“I’m doing, I’m doing. Now let me go!”

“Hey, if I can’t tussle with one brother, I’m certainly going to tussle the other one.”

“‘The other one’? You mean...?”

“Yeah, he’s here.”

“Good God! What did you do? Promise him your liver once his gives out?”

Phil can see where this is going, “I’m going to go and check on the ham.”

“Okay, honey. I’ll be out in a minute.”

She waits for him to get out of hear-shot, then, “Tom, please try to be nice.”

“Hey, I’m being nice. I mean, if John drinks as much as Dad did, heh, his liver should last for, oh, about five more years.”

“Thomas!”

Tom is in the middle of taking off his coat, “What?”

“It would not be a good idea to make comparisons at this stage of the game.”

“Awww, Ann you worry too much. He’s not even here.”

“Well, ya never know when he might get up.”

“If anything that troll should be grateful. And he deserves everything we call him. He have a woman?”

Ann rolls her eyes, “If, by that chauvinistic comment, you mean, has he gotten married, the answer is once and once divorced.”

“Makes sense. I always knew that he would never find anyone willing to put up with him unless he was paying them.”

“You had better watch your mouth, Thomas McCoy. Last time I checked, no women were beating down your door.”

“Ann, why do you defend him? He’s a heartless, callous man who left us as soon as he could and then never came back.”

“Tom, I am NOT defending him. But I saw the way he got treated by Dad.”

“Dad treated us all like shit. He chased women all day and, then, came home just long enough to get Mom pregnant again. So what? What does this have to do with John being an ass?”

“John is the oldest.”

“So I don’t understand any of this and you do because I happen to be nine years younger than John?”

“Yes, actually, that’s right. Tom, there is something between older siblings when it comes to things like this. I had to see the abuse for longer than you.”

“Oh sure.”

“Tom, I’m seven years older than you!”

“And approaching 60, huh?”

“Bite your tongue.”

“Are you two quite finished yet?”

Ann and Tom jump nearly a foot at the sound of Jack’s voice from behind them. Tom whips around and comes face to face with his older brother.

“John, heh, we were just talking about you and how great you are.”

“Uh huh.”

Ann steps forward, “Yeah, definitely... Just exactly how much of our conversation about how great you are did you hear?”

“All of it.”

“Where were you?”

“On the couch, sleeping- old habits die hard...Oh and, by the way, Tom, my liver is fine but thanks for the concern.”

Tom says nothing but gives Jack a look of pure disgust. Jack notices this.

“Be careful, Thomas. Your face may stay that way.”

“You think you know everything-”

“ENOUGH!!!”

Both men stop dead in their tracks.

“Enough! Today is Christmas Eve! Could we not try for one night out of the whole year to pretend that we are a normal, happy family?”

“I will if he doesn’t act like an asshole.”

“And I will if the Munchen grows a foot so that I can actually see more of him than just the top of his head.”

“Why you, pompous, son-of-a-”

Ann grabs the back of Tom’s shirt and struggles to restrain him. Jack smiles sweetly.

“And with that said, I am going to take a shower, if that’s okay, Ann.”

“Go ahead, Jack.”

“Thank you. See you later, dear brother.”

Once Jack is gone, Ann lets Tom go.

“Got any more bright ideas, genius?”

“Excuse me?”

“Tom, you nearly took on our brother, who has 5 inches, height wise, on you, and probably about 40 pounds in MY front hallway!”

“I coulda taken him! He’s over 60!”

“Age means nothing in this family, kid. And had he wanted to, he could have kicked your butt from here to Seattle.”

“I’m not afraid of him!”

“Whatever. Come help me do the dishes.”

A half an hour later Jack steps out of the shower and gazes into the mirror.

“Oy, now there’s a face that only a mother could love at this time of the morning.”

He wraps a towel around his waist and is about to shave when someone pounds on the bathroom door.

“Yeah, what?

“Jack, can I talk to you?”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Not really.”

“Hang on,” he snatches up his robe, “Okay, now, what?”

Ann shuffles in, “Jack, why did you egg him on?”

“Because it’s fun?”

“I will never understand you.”

“And that is the joy of Jack McCoy.”

Ann sticks her tongue out and Jack proceeds to place a dollop of shaving soap on it.

“ACK!!!” She spits and sputters for a moment and then, “You bastard!”

“Hey, you put it out there- what was I supposed to do?”

“Well, at least let me get a drink of water.”

She picks up a cup and fills it from the tap. Jack chuckles and then goes about his shaving.

“That’ll teach you.”

Ann gives him a sour look and then continues with what she was saying.

“Jack, just don’t talk about Tom’s height- he’s a little self-conscious about it.”

“Fine, as long as he keeps his thoughts to himself.”

“You really did hear all of what we were saying, huh?”

“Yup... Ann, I don’t like being analyzed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You trying to explain why I am the way I am to Tom- I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Jack, please, I’m your sister- I saw things I wasn’t supposed to but they...”

“‘They’ what?”

She sighs, “Have you ever give any thought to maybe getting some counseling?”

He turns around to look at his sister. The sight of him with part of his face shaved and the other part still covered with shaving soap would be comical any other time but right now it is countered by the rage brewing within him.

“I work with crazy people every week at work. They need counseling- I don’t.”

“Jack, I’m seeing a psychiatrist- does that make me crazy?”

He wasn’t expecting this, “Ann, I...”

“Perhaps you should think before you say things.”

“He nods, “Ann, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. Ya know before I started seeing Dr. Shaw nothing was going right. I was starting to drink a little too much; Phil couldn’t understand why I was never happy; my marriage was going south. I finally admitted that I had a problem and went to see Dr. Shaw. Turns out I have depression.”

“So you’re happy that you have a possibly debilitating illness?”

“No, but at least I know what’s wrong- it has a name and I can do things to lessen it.”

“Listen, Ann I appreciate your concern. Really, I do but that stuff doesn’t work for me.”

“How do you know?”

“I know myself... That’s enough... Where’s Tom?”

“Helping Phil clean the veggies- don’t try and change the subject.”

“Ann, I don’t want to talk about this now.”

“Then when, Jack? It’s only been 30 years since the last time I saw you. You gonna wait until the next 30 before we do talk about this?”

“Sounds like a great idea to me.”

“Yeah, I bet it does.”

“I won’t apologize for how I think.”

“Jack...,” she stops to gather her thoughts and then something strikes her, “Jack, Phil read something in his law review about the death of an assistant district attorney in New York City about, oh, six years ago. You know anything about that?”

Jack is surprised by this question and doesn’t know quite how to respond.

“Lemme finish shaving and I’ll tell you all about that later.”

“So you do know something about her? I mean, Phil asked me about it and I told him I would ask you...”

“Later, okay? Later... Wa- Wait... Phil’s a lawyer?”

“Legal aid.”

“Oh fun.”

“Say what you will, but he’s a good man and he cares about those out there who can’t afford lawyers.”

“That’s most of the United States.”

Ann shakes her head, “I’ll talk to you in a bit.”

After she leaves, Jack stands for a moment with a contemplative look on his face and then glances up at the ceiling, “Well, I’m not sure if you’re the best place to start when I’m trying to learn how to talk to my sister but it’s better than having her concentrate on me talking about me.”

Tom is sitting in the living room when Jack comes downstairs. Jack decides to make peace and enters.

“Hey.”

Tom looks up from reading a magazine, “What do you want?”

Jack takes a seat on the couch across from him, “What do you do for a living?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m your brother and I’m trying to take an interest in your life?”

“That’d be a first.”

“Let’s try this again- Thomas, what do you do for a living?”

“I write for the Tribune.”

“Really?”

“Yeah... You never thought I’d make anything of myself, did you, John?”

Jack lets the name slip slide, “What do you write about?”

“Local news... Stuff like that. Probably not as glamorous as your job but-”

“Glamorous? You think my job is glamorous? Ha!”

“Well, it’s more prestigious.”

“I work for the state of New York. I have worked for the state of New York for the past, what, 32- 33 years? Any prestige I felt from for the job wore off after about age 40.”

“So you started there not too long after you left us?”

Jack lets out a sigh and then gazes out the front window, “It’s part of the reason I moved to New York.”

“And what was the other part? Couldn’t wait to get away from us?”

“Ya know, if I’d had my way we’d have dropped you on the back steps of a church the day you were born.”

“You don’t like me.”

“Good guess.”

“I don’t care. And ya wanna know why?”

“Oh, do tell.”

“I work for The Chicago Tribune- you don’t think I read The New York Times and have contacts with reporters in New York? I know all about you ‘Hang’em High’.”

Jack gets up to leave, “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“Judge Feldman.”

Jack halts but says nothing.

“Disciplinary committee. Independent Counsel William Dell. Any of these ringing any bells?”

Jack is now, very slowly, approaching his brother with a dangerous look in his eyes, “Oh, I’m hearing fuckn’ silver bells.”

Tom smiles evilly, oblivious to the territory he is entering , “Vicki Harris, Diana Hawthorne, Michelle Kates, Claire Kincaid?”

In a low growl, “How do you know all this?”

“I’ve kept tabs on a my big bro. You’ve been very busy. Ya know, I asked Ann if you ever got married, but that was only to spare her the knowledge that I know that her beloved and misunderstood brother is nothing but a twisted, old man. But despite that- John, my hat goes off to you. I’ve read up on you lady friends as well. You like’em young and stupid. I mean, you actually got one to marry you, another to go to jail for you, and yet another is dead because of you. That’s devotion my friend.”

In one swift motion, Jack lifts Tom up by the collar of his shirt and slams him up against the wall. He holds him there as Tom kicks his legs around, trying to touch the ground.

“I am NOT your friend.”

“Jack, put him down!”

Ann has come into view behind Jack, “Put him down.”

He casts a look over his shoulder and then lets Tom go- literally. He falls to the floor with a loud ‘thud’. Jack rounds to glare at his sister.

“Don’t worry. He’s not worth the effort.”

Ann watches Jack leave the room, then hurries over to Tom.

“What the Hell happened?”

Tom gazes at his sister but doesn’t have the heart to tell her what really transpired.

“I said he was a bastard and he took exception.”

“Tom, when will you learn to keep your mouth shut?”

“I don’t know... What did he mean by saying that I wasn’t ‘worth the effort’?”

“You weren’t worth the effort it would take to break your scrawny neck.”

Tom wraps his hands around his neck and looks more than a tad uneasy, “Oh.”

We find Phil bopping around in the kitchen, unaware of the happenings in the living room. Mariah Carey blasts out of the radio on the table and he tries in his ‘best’ high-pitched voice sing along.

“I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want you Christmas is you!”

Per usual, Jack walks in just at this point. He takes one look and then seriously considers going back out and putting up with his brother.

“How come I always walk in at exactly the WRONG time?”

The song comes to an end and Phil realizes that Jack has seen his grand finale.

“Heh... Just getting in the Christmas Spirit...”

“Right...”

The DJ comes on and is announcing the next song, “In keeping with our Holiday theme today and to, perhaps, give you a laugh, we have some Weird Al next!”

Phil is trying to do some more explaining but Jack hushes him when he hears the DJ.

The first, tell-tale notes of ‘The Night Santa Went Crazy’ float out of the radio. Jack grins.

“Now this is MY idea of a Christmas song!”

And with that, Jack breaks into song along with Weird Al.

“Down in the workshop, all the elves were making toys for the good Gentle girls and the good Gentle boys. When the boss busted in. Nearly scared them half to death. Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath. From bread to his boots, he was covered with ammo, like a big, fat, drunk, disgruntled Yuletide Rambo. And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye, ‘Merry Christmas to all! Now you’re all gonna die!’”

Phil is looking seriously disturbed at this point.

“The night Santa went crazy! The night St. Nick went insane. Realized he’d been gettn’ a raw deal. Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain.”

Ann and Tom arrive on the scene. They look to Phil for some help but he only shrugs. Jack is working to chop up carrots but continues to sing and dance around the kitchen.

“And he picked up a flame-thrower and he barbequed Blitzen and he took a big bite and said, ‘It tastes just like chicken!’”

Tom takes a step back. Ann hears him and turns.

“I’m outta here,” he mouths and disappears into the hallway.

“Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doin’ time in a federal prison for his infamous crime. Hey little friend, now, don’t ya cry no more tears. He’ll be out with good behavior in 700 more years! But now Vixen’s in therapy and Donner’s still nervous. And the elves all got jobs workn’ for the postal service. And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night with her lawyer negotiating the movie rights! They’re talkn’ ‘bout- The night Santa crazy!”

Phil edges closer to his wife, “Your brother is... odd.”

“Tell ya something finally must’ve snapped... in his brain.”

The song ends and the two wait to see what Jack will do now. He turns and realizes that they have been staring at him. He notices their expressions and decides to have a little fun. He picks up the large knife that he has been using to cut the carrots and faces them again, holding the knife up.

“Got anything else for me to cut?”

It takes everything Phil has to keep from fainting but Ann just gets angry- she knows her brother, even if they haven’t been around each other in years.

“JACK!”

Afternoon comes and finds Ann rushing about the house.

“Where are they? We’re supposed to leave for Christmas Mass in,” she checks her watch, “45 minutes!”

“Take it easy, Ann. They’ll be here. They never miss Christmas Eve Mass,” re-assures Tom, “Hey, by the way, is John coming with us?”

“Of course he is!”

“He might wanna stop by the confessional,” Tom mumbles under his breath.

“Huh? Tom did you say something?” questions Ann.

“Oh no... Just hoping he has something wear.”

“Tom, why wouldn’t he? Even he goes to church on Christmas.”

A noise behind them- Jack is making his way down the stairs, trying to put on his tie as he comes. He hops over the last step.

“Hey.”

Ann glances at him, “Yo.”

Tom says nothing.

“Ack! Where are they?” Ann leaves the hallway, spazzing all the way.

“What’s her problem?”

“Colleen and Moira are late.”

“Oh.”

There is an uneasy silence.

“I didn’t tell her anything.”

Jack is a little surprised, “Really?”

“John, I may be a creep but I’m not that much of a creep.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, well, now you get to try and explain yourself to her. I’m not going to be the one to tell her that you’re a fraud.”

Jack is about to object to this comment when a car rolls in the driveway.

“That would be them- Hey, Ann! They’re here!”

“Great,” thinks Jack, “More relatives that I have to try and talk to like I know them.”

After some work trying to get Colleen and Moira to believe that Jack is really their uncle (they’ve never seen him before in their lives and he doesn’t look very much like Ann or Tom) everyone gets in Phil’s car and heads off to church.

Sitting in the back seat, squeezed between Tom and Colleen, Jack is making an effort to look happy but he isn’t. He has a splitting headache... Probably the result of his fight earlier with Tom.

“Oy...,” he thinks to himself.

Phil is turns into the parking lot of St. Edward’s church and announces in a sing-song voice, “We’re here.”

Ann turns in her seat to see her brothers and her daughter. She can see that Jack is in pain.

“What’s wrong?”

“Head-ache.”

“Oh... You want something?”

“Maybe it’s the fear of impending damnation,” muses Tom.

Jack elbows him.

“OW!”

“What?”

“He elbowed me!”

“It was an accident.”

“Oh sure!”

“Both of you stop!”

“Make him apologize!”

“Jack-”

“No way.”

Phil parks the car and jumps out. The rest follow. It is a little icy and Jack ‘accidently’ puts his foot in front of Tom.

“AHHHH!!!”

Tom goes flying across the ice and lands head-first in a snow bank. He rips himself out and shakes his head. Now, he’s madder than a wet hen and ready to have it out with Jack right then and there.

“Bring it on, John!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You tripped me!”

“Ummm... No, I don’t think I did.”

Ann smacks her head starts to walk away. Jack begins to join her.

Tom stumbles to his feet and is seething as he watches his sister laughing at something Jack has said.

“I’ve come for every Christmas! I’ve always been good! And yet, he comes back and he can do no wrong! It’s not fair!” thinks Tom.

He stands for a moment and then uses the only weapon he has left.

“Murderer...”

Yeah, this gets the desired reaction out of Jack and everyone around them. They all stop and stare at Jack and wait to see what he’ll do.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t get you... Or you!” he points to his brother and then his sister.

Jack is baring down on him fast but Tom continues.

“You’re gone for 30 years! 30 years! And then, you waltz back in like nothing’s wrong!”

Ann runs forward, “Tom, don’t!”

He ignores her, “We were fine until you showed up!”

“Is that so?”

“Shyeah! In fact...,” he gets right up Jack’s face, “We’d all be a lot better if you went back to wherever you came from!”

Jack glares down at his brother, “Fine. Works just fine for me.”

“Jack, no!” Ann grabs Jack’s arm, “Please, don’t go!”

“I’m sorry, Ann.”

“Yeah, run away, John! That’s what you do every time things get tough.”

Jack shoves past Ann and does what we’ve wanted to do for the whole story- he hauls off and slams his fist into Tom’s jaw. This sends Tom to the pavement. Ann runs to her younger brother. Jack stands over both of them.

“I think you broke his jaw!” she is doing everything in her power not to start sobbing. Phil joins her at Tom’s side. He looks at Jack.

“I know Tom’s a pain but that wasn’t necessary. You’re supposed to be an adult...”

“So does that mean I have to put with his crap?”

“No... But it does mean you should learn how to beat up on someone your own size.”

By now a crowd has formed. They are all staring at Jack.

Ann and Phil are helping Tom to his feet. Colleen and Moira can only watch. Tom fixes his brother with a cold, hateful look.

“When you left, who do you think Dad took it out on? Huh? Us... He broke my arm.”

“Tom, shut up!”

“No, he’s gonna hear this!” he takes a breath, “Mom got real clumsy... Started running into doors a lot more than usual and falling down stairs. And Ann-”

“Tom!”

“Well, Ann... Dad, found her ironing one afternoon. He thought she was doing it wrong so he decided to show her the right way... On her back...”

Jack’s rage is gone and he is almost speechless, “Tom, I-”

“You left us in that nightmare and NEVER came back to see if we were okay!” now he is in tears, “I would tell Ann that someday you would come back and save us! But... John, you never did... You let us suffer...”

Jack can only stand there.

“It’s all your fault! EVERYTHING!” Tom is now the one in a rage, “Get outta here! Go off and die somewhere- NO ONE WILL CARE!”

The sincerity of Tom’s words hit home for Jack. He looks at them all for a moment longer and then, silently, leaves.

Ann doesn’t even try to stop him.

“Born in grief. Raised in hate. Helpless to defy his fate. Let him run. Let him live. But do not forget what we can not forgive. And he is not one of us. He has never been part of us. He is not part us. Not our kind. Someone once lied to us. Now we’re not so blind. For we knew he would do what he’s done and we know that he’ll never be part of us.”

An hour later, we find Jack wandering downtown Chicago. He kicks savagely at a pile of snow.

“Yay for me...,” he grumbles.

One of the city buses roars by him sending a wash of melted snow up onto him.

“ARGH!!! I will be so HAPPY to get back to New York where it’s only strangers who despise me!”

Sporting the ever popular ‘drowned rat’ look, Jack drags himself into the nearest open store. Once inside he realizes this isn’t any store. He reads a sign over the inside door out loud

“‘McCarthy’s Bar And Grill’. Heh.”

He walks in and takes a seat at the bar. One of the tenders sees him and scurries over.

“And what can I get for you?”

“Scotch.”

The tender quickly fills the order and then heads off to the next customer.

Jack gazes around his surroundings, sipping on his drink. Dark, dank, musty- it perfectly matched his mood. It is then that he sees the person sitting next to him. It is a young woman in jeans and a green flannel shirt, unbuttoned, over a white t-shirt. Her dark auburn hair is tied back in a pony tail.

Jack, being...well, Jack, assesses her and classifies her into the ‘look but don’t touch’ category- mostly because at her hip is a gun holster with a gun in it. He decides, though, to try and strike up a conservation- drinking is always better when you have company.

“You know something about this place that I don’t know, or are you just carrying that around for kicks?”

She looks confused- he points to her hip.

“Oh, that’s my gun.”

“Well, I kinda figured that out. Why you carrying it?”

“I’m a cop.”

“Really? Where abouts?”

“Here,” she motions to one of the tenders- he gets her another drink.

“What ya drinking?”

“Rum and Coke.”

Jack nods his approval and then he notices how fast she finishes it off.

“You need to be careful with those- they taste good so you don’t realize how much you’ve had until you’re already roaring drunk.”

“I know, and believe me, I can pack away few more with no problem.”

Jack looks at her again, “Heh... You look far too young to be drinking away your sorrows.”

“Who said I was drinking away anything?”

“Well, it’s Christmas Eve and you’re here and not with family so...”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Hey, I came in to get warmed up.”

“Sure.”

“You got a name?”

“Yep. Am I gonna tell you what it is? Nope.”

Jack chuckles, “Why?”

“Cause I don’t like being picked up by guys old enough to be my father.”

“And I don’t like picking up women young enough to be my kid... And carrying...”

She grins, “Oh, is the gun a turn-off?”

“Yeah, just a little bit of one.”

“Kat.”

“Huh?”

“My name is Kat.”

“What kinda name is that?”

“It’s my nick-name at work.”

“Okay, Kat, I’m Jack.”

“Heh, it rhymes.”

“Perhaps it is fate, then, that we have met.”

She shakes her head, “I doubt it unless you got really bad karma.”

“Why ya say that?”

“Because, I enjoy my work too much and I don’t have much of a life outside of work.”

“Not a real social person, huh?”

“That’s one way to put it... What’s your story?”

“Huh?”

“Well, the accent tells me you ain’t from around here so where are you from?”

“Actually, I am from here- I was born and raised in Chicago... But I’ve been gone for a long time.”

“Where you go?”

“New York.”

Kat wrinkles her nose, “You left Chicago for New York???”

“Hey, New York’s okay. Sure it doesn’t have the class of Chicago, but it’s got a thing all it’s own.”

“Meh, whatever suits ya.”

“Exactly.”

“What you do for a living?”

Jack orders another Scotch and then turns to Kat, “I’m an assistant district attorney.”

“You’re a lawyer? Shesh, no wonder you make my skin crawl.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“So a New York district attorney walks into a bar in Chicago on Christmas Eve? Got the makes of a great joke there.”

“Yeah, well my family doesn’t find it so funny.”

Kat motions for another drink. Jack raises an eyebrow.

“How many is that now?”

“I don’t’ mind talking to you, old man, but don’t father me, okay?”

“Take the advice of an old man- stop drinking and go home.”

“I do what I do- I don’t need your advice so shove it.”

Jack chuckles, “Ya know, I used to be just as arrogant as you.”

“What changed?”

His tone becomes somber, “Being arrogant causes you to get sloppy and make mistakes. I made one mistake too many and it cost me. That was the day I started to realize that I can’t go marching around with blinders on to anything that wasn’t in my own interest.”

She looks at him, sizing him up, but not saying anything.

“You have no idea what my life is like so don’t try to pretend you do.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere and you said you’re not so tell me about it.”

She finishes off her drink and then gives him a smug grin, “It’s been fun, Jack.”

She hops off the stool and nearly takes a header. Jack grabs her and helps her gain her feet again.

“Where you going?”

“Somewhere where you aren’t there to critique me.”

Jack catches a look in her dark brown eyes- angry, hopeless, cold, distrustful. Their familiarity sends a shiver through him.

“How you gettn’ wherever you’re going?”

“My feet. You think I’m crazy enough to try to drive in downtown Chicago?”

“Just making sure.”

The bar tender walks over, “Kat, this guy bothering you?”

Kat rips her arm out of Jack’s grip, “Nope, I was just going.”

She gives money to the tender and then turns to Jack.

“Normally, I’d say see ya later but I really don’t, got it?”

Jack waves, “Got it.”

“Good.”

She leaves. Jack stares after her for a second. He tries to go back to his getting drunk but he can’t. He can not forget the girl’s eyes and there is a growing sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. He turns to the tender.

“How many did she have?”

“Why you wanna know?”

Jack lets out an exasperated sigh, “Because I wanna run out and rape her in the frickn’ snow... Why do you think?! I worried, okay?”

The tender looks away- he’s worried, too.

“I think one too many... I haven’t ever seen her drink that much.”

“Alright, thanks.”

Jack looks at the rest of his drink, “Dammit, I hate it when my Christmas tradition gets interrupted. You better be worth this, Kat.”

The tender smiles slightly.

“How much I owe you?”

“If you’re going out to find her and make sure she’s okay- nothing.”

“Hey, I can’t do that.”

“You can, you have, now get outta here and find her.”

Jack steps off the stool and nods to the tender and heads for the door.

Jack gets outside and looks both ways on the street. Nothing.

“You couldn’t have gotten too far.”

He tries to decide which way she would have gone.

“Let’s see... I go left I head to the Sears Tower... I head right... I go right into the Chicago River,” he thinks for a moment, “Dammit!”

He takes off at a brisk pace toward the Chicago River. Snow starts to fall and the wind picks up. He searches the way ahead, the feeling of dread in his stomach increasing by the moment. Finally, he gives up on trying to be subtle and breaks into a run down the sidewalk. He comes up on one of the many bridges that cross the Chicago river and there he sees a figure leaning over the side. He jogs up beside it.

“I can think of more pleasant ways of saying goodbye.”

Kat whips up her head and glares at him, “What do you want?”

“Like eating your gun.”

“Are you stalking me?”

“Or poison.”

“Answer me!”

“I will once you step back from the railing.”

“You think I was gonna jump into the River?”

“I think you were considering it.”

“Maybe I was and maybe I wasn’t. That’s my business, not your’s.”

“Well, I’m making it my business.”

“What gives you the right, huh?”

“I’m a parent and you’re someone’s kid, that’s what. If my daughter was about to do something stupid like this, I would sure as Hell want someone would stop her.”

She hangs her head in shame, “How did you know?”

“The look on your face.”

He puts his arm around her shoulders and leads her away from the bridge.

“My face?”

“A look of someone who has seen too much of the world and who has given up on it.”

She gives him a half-hearted smile, “You’re good. I think you’d make a good shrink.”

“No, I just recognize someone who is at the end of their rope.”

“You know someone who’s been there?”

“Yeah- myself.”

Kat can’t hide her shock, “I thought only the cops had emotional issues.”

“Nope.”

She doesn’t want to discuss suicide so she decides to change the subject, “You said you had a daughter?”

“Yup. She hates me and we have our bad spots but if anything ever happened to her I don’t know what I’d do. I’ve seen too many parents bury their kids in my line of work.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids- it’s just not right.”

Kat nods her agreement.

“You guys never realize what your parents go through until you got kids of your own. We try to protect you from all the evil of the world and still worry at the end of the day that we’re gonna screw you up.”

“Yeah, well, my family did screw me up.”

Jack is about to ask here how when he suddenly gets very dizzy and his vision blurs. Kat can see something isn’t right.

“Jack? Jack, what’s wrong?”

He braces himself against a lamppost, “I don’t know. I’ve had a headache all day and now I’m getting dizzy and everything’s all blurry.”

Kat whips out her cell phone and is calling for an ambulance when the pain in Jack’s head becomes too much. He goes doubled over and Kat hurries to his side, trying to keep him from hitting the ground.

“Jack, you gotta stay with me!”

He doesn’t reply.

“Jack! Com’on, man, don’t do this to me!”

And the snow continues to fall.

“Cerebral hemorrhage.”

“What?”

“His brain is bleeding.”

“I know what ‘cerebral hemorrhaging’ is. What I wanna know is how it happened.”

“How should I know? You bring a guy in here that you met at a bar and only know his first name- what am I supposed to do?”

Kat stomps away from the ER doctor, “You people are bloody useless, you know that, Conner?”

“You want a guess?”

She gives him an insincere smile, “Sure. Why not?”

“I’d say your friend has been in a car accident and didn’t get proper treatment afterwards.”

“How long ago?”

“Judging at how much blood he’s got his brain, I’d say 2- 3 days ago.”

“Damn. How’d he walk around for that long?”

“The blood’s been seeping out so he probably didn’t even know there was anything wrong until about an hour ago. I tell you what, though- he must have had one Hell of a headache for the past few days.”

“He told me about having a headache just before he blacked-out.”

“Yeah, there’s swelling, too. He’s lucky that he has been able to keep going this long.”

“Conner, can you guys help him?”

“We’ll do what we can but... I don’t know...”

Kat looks at the floor. An EMT strides up to the ER doctor Kat as been calling ‘Conner’.

“We found this on him.”

He hands Conner a wallet.

“Looks like Jack has left us a way to find out who he is.”

Conner flips through the wallet, “Well, our Jack is actually John.”

“Huh?”

“His driver’s license has him as being, and I quote, ‘Jonathan James McCoy of New York City, New York.’ Should come in handy as we’re looking for next of kin.”

Kat’s face goes pale, “You won’t have to look far.”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“I’m his next of kin.”

“Kate, what do you mean?”

She pushes Conner out of the way and starts down the hall, “He’s my father!”

Meanwhile, somewhere else, we see Jack picking himself up off the ground.

“Damn... Kat, that headache just hit me and...,” he looks around- she’s not there, “Kat? Okay, this isn’t funny,” he has no idea where he is.

“She ain’t here, Jacko.”

He whips around and sees a man about the same height and same age wearing a long black trench coat walking over to him, “Huh?”

“I said she ain’t here.”

“Yeah, I got that part- how do you know my name?”

“Oh, but it ain’t ‘Jacko’ for real is it, John?”

“Will you stop saying ‘ain’t’?”

“Why?”

“Because it bothers me when people do not know proper English.”

“You use slang.”

“Yes, but not repeatedly, in sentence after sentence.”

“Oh but, Johnny Boy, I ain’t people. I’m not even a person.”

“Stop saying a- Wait... Did you just say that you’re not a person?”

“Yup.”

“Then what are you?”

The other man looks disinterested, “Your guardian angel.”

Jack nearly falls over again, “My what???”

“Angel Third Class.”

“And how is it that you’re here right now?”

“Jacko, welcome to the Great Divide.”

“The what?”

“The divide between the living and the dead.”

“I see...,” Jack doesn’t believe this but decides to play along, “And where exactly am I?”

“In the middle leaning toward death.”

“I see... So why don’t I just die and get it over with?”

“Oh, trust me- you don’t want that at this stage of the game.”

“Why not?”

“Well, it turns out your brother wasn’t too far off with the eternal damnation thing.”

“What, you mean that-”

“You’d be heading somewhere where even I couldn’t go.”

“What does that mean?”

The angel smacks him upside the head, “Catechism, Jacko!”

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Jack tries to hit back but his angel simply side-steps him and wacks him on the head again.

“Never get in a fight with an angel.”

Jack backs off and rubs his head. It is once he cools off that something comes to him, “Guardian angels go with their charges to Heaven.”

“Which means I get to be reassigned once you kick the bucket ‘cause you ain’t going anywhere near Heaven and I ain’t going anywhere near Hell.”

Jack looks genuinely scared, “But I’m not some criminal! How can I?”

“That’s what happens when you too much time thinking about how to nail the bad guys and not enough time considering the well-being of the rest of the world around you. You were given so much and great things were expected of you but you wasted all of it.”

“Hey, I’m a busy person. I’m trying to make this worlds a better place for everyone.”

“Please, you didn’t even know that your own sister had kids. Ya didn’t even go to the wedding.”

“How do you know that?”

“I told you, I’m your guardian angel.”

“What’s your name?”

“Ezekiel.”

“Ezekiel?” Jack starts to crack up, “What idiot named you that?”

“You.”

Jack stops laughing very quickly, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Nope, again. Think, Jacko, second grade.”

Jack looks around and then shrugs in confusion.

“Dang, taught by Jesuits and still you don’t know anything!”

Suddenly, Jack remembers, “Wait! Hummm... They were teaching on angels and they told us to name our guardian angel. I wanted to by a smart-ass-”

“As usual.”

“Yeah... well, any ways, so I picked out the most ridiculous name I could that would still be acceptable.”

“And may I say well done, Jacko. Ya know you got me the laughing stock of Heaven with that one?”

“They told us that the more we asked our angel for help the more they would be able to do.”

“Which is why I’m an angel third class- ya never even acknowledged that I was there after the class unit on angels was over. But never mind all that now. That’s not the reason I’m here.”

“Well, why are you here?”

“Jacko, you were supposed to die today. You were supposed to be frying right now.”

“And? What happened?”

“Free-will, Jacko. Free-will... You followed that woman outta the bar... You stopped her for committing suicide. You saw the chance to do something good and did it, even though it interfered with your plans. In that moment you were the person you could have been your whole life. One act of kindness is all it took to save you.”

Jack is starting to believe Ezekiel, “So why am I here?”

“You’ve got a chance few people get- the chance to go back.”

Jack just about screams he wants to go back... but stops before he does. He recalls what his brother said-

“Get outta here! Go off and die somewhere- NO ONE WILL CARE!”

His shoulders slump, “Maybe its better if I don’t go back.”

“Whaddaya mean???”

“I mean, everyone will be a lot happier when I’m dead.”

“Now that’s an awfully stupid thing to say.”

“Not for my brother to say.”

“Your brother was mad. And besides, it wasn’t your fault that you guys got beaten.”

“I should have done something, though.”

“Maybe when you were older but... What’s a kid gonna do about an abusive parent?”

“I don’t know...”

“And therein lies your problem- you don’t know what you want, my friend.”

“That’s a distinct possibility.”

“So... What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know...,” Jack half chuckles, “Can’t I stay here?”

“Ahh, no. It doesn’t work that way.”

“I knew it’d be too much to hope for.”

Jack walks a few feet and just stands there.

“John-”

“Why can’t you call me Jack? Or even Jacko... Just not ‘John’.”

“Why, Jack? Does it bother you because that’s your father’s first name?”

“I don’t like thinking about the past.”

“We learn from our past if we remember it.”

“What do you know? Huh?”

“I know that the reason you go by ‘Jack’ today is because it’s a more proper version of what your mother called you. Your mother was the first to call you by ‘Jacko’ and from her what you are today was born.”

“No. I won’t blame her for what I am.”

“Well, Jack... She let it happen.”

“What?”

“The abuse.”

“I won’t blame her.”

“She was your mother. Mothers are supposed to protect their children no matter what.”

“She was scared.”

“Jack... She was the adult... You were children... You were her responsibility to take care of... She failed you and your sister and your brother.”

“Shut up!”

“Jack, how much of the world are you going to take on yourself?”

“My fair share.”

“You’ve done enough stupid things without needing to take credit for other people’s misdeeds.”

“Heh...”

“What?”

“Well... I’m not used to having someone tell me something isn’t my fault.”

“You always have to be right. You always have to win.”

“Right.”

“WRONG!”

Suddenly, they have left the Great Divide and are in a hallway. Jack looks around, frantically.

“Where the Hell are we?”

“Well, you should know better than anyone- this is your past... Is it not?”

Jack glances apprehensively out of the corners of his eyes at Ezekiel. He swallows hard.

“We’re in New York.”

“Yes.”

A voice from somewhere in the hallway, “So Jack McCoy, what do you wanna do for the rest of you life?”

Two college students stride into view. One of them looks very familiar.

“Travel the world. See Paris, Rome, Moscow-”

“Moscow, Jack? Didn’t know you were a Commie.”

The present day Jack’s mouth almost drops to the floor, “Paul Kopell...”

Back to the past, “Paul, you had better be kidding.”

From behind the two men a studious young woman appears and doesn’t seem to find Paul’s comment one bit funny.

Paul grabs her around the waist, “Vicki, where ya been all my life?”

“Trying to avoid you,” she slips away, “See you later, Paul,” she smiles and then continues, “Jack.”

The two men stare after her as she leaves. Her beauty is not lost on them.

Paul notices that his friend is taking more than just a passing interest in her. He elbows him.

“She’s something, isn’t she?”

Jack nods.

“She’s in out Criminal Justice class.”

“I know.”

“Victoria Harris...Heh...,” they start on their way again, “Ya know something?”

“I know a lot of things, Paul. Anything in particular?”

“I think she likes you.”

“Me? Why?”

“You’re tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Boy, aren’t we laying it on thick today? What do you need help studying tonight?”

“What? Why must I always want something when I’m trying to be nice to you?”

“‘Cause that’s the only time you are nice.”

“Jack, I’m hurt.”

Jack grins, “No, you’re not.”

“You’re right... But seriously, I think she’s got the hots for you.”

He glances in the direction in which Vicki went, “Doesn’t say much for her tastes.”

“Com’on, Jack. You’ve got a lot to offer a woman.”

“Ya mean besides acne, a shaggy haircut, and a toothpick for a body?”

“Aww, the acne is clearing up.”

“You’re not helping, Paul.”

“And as for the hair- you get a decent haircut sometime and you’d be set.”

“And my body?”

Paul thinks for a moment, “You’ll fill out.”

“What? When I’m ninety and can’t move any more so I get fat?”

Paul laughs, “See, that’s what you have!”

“What?”

“A sense of humor- women love it.”

“Uh huh... So, a sense of humor is why an attractive woman would choose scrawny, little me over you, Mr. Hollywood looks.”

“Hey, at least you’re an athlete. Ya play basketball and you’re good at it.”

Jack shrugs, “I just don’t see why anyone would me when they could have you.”

“You’re a brain, Jack. You study while I’m out getting drunk. Girls have flings with guys like me. Women settle down with guys like you.”

Jack grins, “I can only hope.”

The flashback ends with the two men laughing as they head back to their dorm room.

Present day Jack and Ezekiel are alone again. Jack doesn’t look happy.

“What was the point of that?”

“Jack, you are under the mistaken impression that you always have to do the right thing. You can’t take chances in your personal life and when you’re not perfect you have no worth to anyone. But, let me tell you, everything you have believed for most of you adult life is wrong! Nothing is for sure in life- you have to do the best you can and throw caution to the wind. You can not be afraid to live.”

“So?”

“Watch yourself and take notes.”

“No! I don’t want to see any more! Take me back to wherever I was before!”

“Unlike you, Jack, I can’t give up on you because He’ll hold me accountable.”

Jack scowls, “No way!”

He starts tp march away but finds himself nearly marching into a brick wall.

“Dammit, what do you think you’re doing, Angel Boy?”

“I think you might like this.”

“Huh?”

Ezekiel just motions for Jack to be quiet.

Somewhere, voices break through a dark night. The same shaggy haired guy (a few years older) wanders into view. His suave friend is with him and he, in turn, has a blond with him. The shaggy one grins at them.

“Jack, what you say you, me and Jen hit the bars tonight? Celebrate the end of our Hell?”

Jack rubs the back of his neck, “Rain-check, Paul. I have some paperwork to do.”

Paul turns to the blond, “Ya see that, Jen? That’s my man, Jack, being a stick-in-the-mud as usual.”

Jen giggles.

“Com’on, Jack- Jen’s got a friend and says she can make it worth your while.”

Jack looks sorely tempted but sighs, “Nah... I gotta get this stuff done. I’ve been putting it off forever.”

“And this is exactly why you’ll never get laid, Jack.”

“Who’s saying I haven’t already?”

“I do because I’ve lived with ya for three years- I know these things.”

“Hey, maybe I got my fill back at University of Chicago.”

“Jack, ya lived at home for that.”

Jack shrugs, “Okay, so I got nothing.”

“Oy vey, Jack! Promise me someday you’ll start living!”

“I promise.”

Paul shakes his head and then leaves with Jen. Jack watches them for a second and then turns back in the other direction. It is a warm spring night and Jack is feeling just as frisky as Paul but, unfortunately, he doesn’t have a wealthy family, like Paul, flipping the bill for law school- he has to start figuring out where his money after graduation is going to be coming from. His father was already reminding him that his loans would have to be paid off by him- a working class family didn’t have any money to help the oldest when they had just finished paying off college for another and have the youngest starting college in less than two years.

“Oh, the spoils of being me.”

He gazes up at the stars, wishing he could go with Paul. Then, slump-shouldered, he goes on his way.

The older Jack is grinning- he knows what’s going to happen next. Ezekiel sees this.

“You happy about something, Jack?”

“Oh, be quiet!”

The two go back to viewing in silence.

Back in the past, Jack walks as a light breeze blows leaves into his path. He smiles faintly- he loves New York in the Spring. He is so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t see someone else coming around a corner. The inevitable happens.

“ARGH!!!”

“OOOOWWWW!”

They knock each other over. Jack is almost immediately back his feet.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”

The woman he ran into jumps up and is about to rip Jack a new one when she gets a strange look on her face. Jack frowns.

“What?”

“Jack McCoy?”

Jack doesn’t know what to say- he has no clue who she is, “How do you know me?”

“You’re Paul Kopell’s friend, right?”

“Yeah...”

“It’s me- Vicki Harris.”

Jack can’t believe her. He leans in closer, trying to see is it’s really the woman that Paul once described as a ‘bookworm’.

She smiles, “You act like you’ve never seen me before.”

“Well, I haven’t. The Vicki Harris I met was, well, a lot younger.”

“I’m three years older, Jack. Just like you.”

“Yeah, but the person Paul introduced to me was a little girl.”

“You’ve changed, too.”

“For better or for worse?”

“Your looks suit you now just like your looks suited you when I first met you.”

They walk along, together.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you look a lot older now. You filled out some. And you stopped having your hair cut with a weed-wacker.”

“I guess I should take that as a compliment, right?”

“Of course.”

There is an awkward moment- neither knows what to say. Jack starts to look like he is going to try and leave. Vicki is attempting to think of something to make him stay.

“I heard about your results.”

“What results?”

“The bar exam. Paul said you passed in the one-hundredth percentile.”

“Teaches me for telling him anything.”

“Yeah, well, he also said you are getting job offers from law firms already.”

Jack shuffles his feet and looks embarrassed, “I have.”

“Well, are you going to work for one of them?”

Jack chuckles, “You’re not just going to go away, are you?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No...”

“So where’s your loud-mouth friend?”

“He’s off having a night on the town.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

Jack shrugs, “Wasn’t in the mood.”

“I’m glad.”

Here was an unexpected answer. Jack, for one of the few times in his life, has no idea what to say.

“So, what are your plans for the night?”

“I can tell you what I’d rather b doing,” Jack thinks to himself as he looks her up and down. He decides, though, that wouldn’t be the best way to talk to someone he barely knew. He clears his throat, “Paperwork.”

“Oh... yeah, I’ve got paperwork to do, too.”

“Maybe we could do it together.”

Vicki gives him a weird look and then starts laughing. Jack turns bright red.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Jack, admit it- all you are is a horny boy underneath all the lawyerness.”

“Okay, I admit it.”

She laughs harder, “Well, it didn’t take long to get that outta ya.”

“I could be really crude and make a comment to that but I’m a gentleman.”

She punches him gently in the shoulder, “Where do you learn such things?”

“Who else? My father.”

“Sounds like an interesting fellow.”

Jack rolls his eyes, “Sure... Interesting is one way to describe him.”

The two stand staring at each other. Jack finally gets the idea that she waiting for him to say something.

“Ya wanna forget about paperwork and go get something to eat?”

Vicki is caught off-guard by the suggestion, “Well, I....”

Jack can see her indecision, “You don’t have to. I understand.”

“No, Jack, wait... I would love to get something to eat with you.”

They are gone again. Jack turns to Ezekiel.

“Now that was mistake number one.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Because I ended up marrying her and that was a disaster.”

“But you didn’t marry her for sometime after this.”

“Yeah, I wanted to have something to offer a woman. A steady job... whatever... Besides she went to work overseas for the Justice Department right outta law school. I didn’t see her for a good three years. Things took some time.”

“Well, the fact that you knocked her up sped things up a lot.”

“Hey, I took responsibility for that!”

“Yes, that you did.”

“But it was all downhill from day one.”

“Not right away...”

They find themselves standing in an office.

“Recognize this place, Jack?”

He blinks, “This was my first office. I spent my first years at the D.A.’s office here.”

Suddenly, a man in his late twenties enters. Time has definitely past since the last flashback. A name plate on the desk tells us what we already know.

“John J. McCoy, Assistant District Attorney.”

The man takes a seat behind the desk and starts reading his mail.

“Crap... Crap... Crap... Hummm... Well, at least no bills come here for me.”

He runs a hand through his dark brown hair, making it even more unruly than it already was. He sighs and then gets up and walks over to a book shelf. He is leafing through a book when he hears his office door open. He doesn’t even bother to see who it is.

“Whatever it is, just drop it on my desk... I’ll get to it later.”

“Jack?”

Jack just about drops the book he is reading, “Vicki.”

Vicki has traded in her thrift store rags for a suit coat, blouse, and skirt. Whereas before she was a tough and quirky beauty, she is now a sophisticated lady. She smiles, gently, causing Jack to actually drop the book which lands squarely on his foot.

“OWWW!!!”

He hobbles around on one foot. Vicki runs over to him and steadies him. She tries, in vain, to keep from laughing.

“Are you okay?”

“Why do I always get hurt when you come around?”

“You get careless.”

“Yeah, you seem to have that effect on me.”

Half-jokingly, “Maybe you’re in love with me.”

“Could be.”

Vicki’s eyes go wide but since Jack is bracing himself against her he doesn’t see this. Finally, he puts his foot back down and straightens up but doesn’t move away. Vicki still has her hands lightly on Jack’s arm and waist. She takes this opportunity to wrap him in a hug. Unlike when most other people have tried to embrace him, Jack doesn’t shrug away. Instead he hugs her back.

Vicki leans in close and whispers in Jack’s ear, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do this.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Wasn’t happy at the Justice Department. I didn’t feel like I was making a difference. So I quit,” she lets him go and walks around the office, “Saw that Manhattan District Attorney’s office was hiring so I applied. Got the job and they assign me to work with a John J. McCoy,” she turns back toward him, “Never in a million years did I imagine that ‘John J. McCoy’ was Jack McCoy. My Jack McCoy.”

“What? Do I belong to you now?”

“Yup!”

She grabs him again around the waist. Jack chuckles.

“Ya know, somehow, work is going to be a lot more fun I think.”

Back in the land of the living, Kate is pacing the hallway outside the waiting room of the hospital. Further down the hall, another woman exits the X-Ray area with a nurse and a young girl. We recognize that the woman is Sabrina. She is watching as the nurse takes her daughter away.

“We’ll have her back to you in a little bit after we get the cast put on.”

Sabrina nods and walks in the other direction, toward the waiting room. Kate almost runs into her.

“Detective?”

Kate, who was going to take no notice of the woman she almost ran over stares at her. She realizes who she is looking at.

“Counselor?”

“What are you doing here?”

Kate swallows hard, “My father is being operated on.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah... They’re not sure if he’s gonna be alright.”

“What happened to him?”

“They think he was in a car accident but didn’t get proper follow-up care. He’s got cerebral hemorrhaging and swelling of the brain.”

“My God...”

“I don’t even know why he was here.”

“Wait... He didn’t come to see you for Christmas?”

“No... I’ve made it pretty clear I wanted nothing to do with him. But...”

“How did you come to be here then?”

“I was at a bar and he came in and sat next to me... He didn’t know who I was and I didn’t know who he was.”

“It’s been that long?”

“Yeah... Any ways, we left and walked for awhile. I just figured he was some guy who wanted someone to talk to on Christmas Eve.”

“Wow... That’s creepy.”

“No kidding. We had just finished talking about how children aren’t supposed to die before their parents, too.”

“Creepier yet. You been able to contact any other family?”

“No... I know I have family in Chicago but I’ll be damned if I know who they are. Too many McCoy’s in this city. That and no one is answering at the District Attorney’s office.”

“He’s a district attorney?”

“Yeah, it’s how he and my mom...,” Kate tries to think of the right phrasing, “Got together.”

The facts are starting to paint a disturbing picture for Sabrina, “Which office?”

“Manhattan.”

“Oh shit...”

“What?”

“Com’on, I know someone who will be able to help you.”

Meanwhile, Jack and Ezekiel have returned to the Great Divide.

“What? No more trips down Memory Lane?”

“Don’t take your anger out on me. You’re the one who screwed that one up.”

Jack’s sarcasm falls away and he sighs, “Yeah, I know.”

“But, considering everything that has happened to you, that was the only time something was all your fault. It just snow-balled with stuff that you felt guilty for. Before ya knew it, you were in it up to your shorts.”

“You want to know something that is really sad?”

“Fire away.”

“I’d forgotten that there was a time before I was a drunken son-of-a-bitch.”

“You could be again, if you wanted to.”

“I’m too old to change.”

“All it would take is a change of heart.”

“How would I deal with my family?”

“Talk to them and answer their questions.”

“I’ve been avoiding them for so long...”

“Thanks to your father throwing you out of Christmas Day after he found out you weren’t getting a high-paying job with a law firm. Threatened to break your neck if you ever showed up again.”

“How...?”

Ezekiel smiles.

“Oh, right. You’re my guardian angel.”

“I was there for all of it, Jack.”

“Yeah...”

“It’s time to stop letting fear and anger rule your life.”

“But, what difference would it make? I’ve got no one back there now who would be willing to let me change. They want nothing to do with me.”

“No one?”

Jack nods.

“Oh really...”

Together, they travel to an office. Someone if rummaging through a filing cabinet.

“Yeah, Adam... I’m looking but I’m not finding.”

Jamie Ross is on her cell phone as she searches for something.

“What is she looking for?”

“Your personal file.”

“Why?”

“To find out the phone numbers of your family.”

“But how did anyone find her and get her to come out here? On Christmas Eve?”

“Adam called her at home. Asked her to look for him since he is unable to get there himself. He is truly concerned about you. Did you know that he thinks of you as a close friend?”

“No... I didn’t.”

Jamie breaks into their conversation, “I swear if that jackass gets himself killed I will never forgive him...”

“And here I thought she hated me.”

“She’s tough but deep-down she’s considers you one of her best friends as well as her boss.”

“Best friend?”

“She worries about you and gets mad when you don’t act like the good person you could.”

Jack shrugs and then a thought hits him, “Well, how did Adam know?”

They leave the office behind and trade it in for a hospital room.

“Now, I’m glad you asked that.”

The first thing Jack sees is himself, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines.

“God, I don’t look good.”

“The results of too many years of hard living... That’s not why we’re here, though.”

Ezekiel motions to their right. Jack follows his motion and his eyes come to rest on the young woman from the bar. She is now sitting next to his bed.

“Hey, it’s Kat!”

Ezekiel nods.

“But... How did she get in to see me. I thought it was families only...”

“Look closely, Jack. Does she not remind you of someone from a long time ago?”

Jack is clueless until the woman speaks.

“I’m sorry, Dad... I never thought that I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you that when you could hear me.”

“‘Dad’?” Jack thinks hard. Then, it hits him, “Kat is short for Kate! How could I be so stupid?”

“Good question.”

“But, she said she never wanted to see again! It doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s what happens when people don’t tell each other how they feel.”

Jack walks up to his daughter and tries to touch her shoulder but his hand goes right through her.

“You can’t touch or talk to her, Jack.”

“I know... I just wanted to...”

Ezekiel understands.

Another voice enters the room.

“Kate, we’re trying to get a hold of them right now, but no one is answering at their homes.”

Jack just about knocks over Ezekiel as he whips around to see who is arriving.

“Sabrina... What- What the Hell is she doing here? She is supposed to be at Adam’s.”

“Her daughter broke her leg on an escalator in the airport. They had to come and the child treated. Missed their flight and they won’t be making it home. They came back today to get the cast put on. She knows Kate and saw her here and asked why... You can guess the rest.”

“That’s how Adam knew...”

Kate interrupts again, “What am I gonna do, Sabrina? He’s all I got left pretty much. I love him and I never told him and now-”

Kate is getting hysterical- Sabrina holds her and tries to comfort her.

“I know, I know... It’ll be okay. He’s a tough guy. Nothing’s gonna kill him yet.”

Kate pulls away.

“Kate, why don’t you go and get something to eat? You haven’t left the room since he left surgery.”

“But who’s gonna stay with him?”

“I will.”

“But what about your daughter?”

“She’s got a cousin interning in pediatrics that she’s staying with- I’ve got some time.”

“Well... Okay... I’ll go stretch my legs...”

“Try to relax and maybe get some sleep or we’ll be checking you in here next.”

Kate gives Sabrina a small smile and leaves. Sabrina takes a seat and stares at Jack. She holds his hand.

“Did you hear me, you old buzzard? You can’t head off into afterlife yet.”

Jack stands beside her, saying nothing to Ezekiel.

“She cares very much about you for having only known you for such a short time.”

Jack puts his back to the scene.

“She...umm... Makes me want to be a better man... If you can believe that.”

“I can.”

They stand, wordless, for a few more seconds and then Ezekiel clears his throat.

“Jack, we have one more stop to make.”

Jack knows who he is about to visit even before he can see them.

“Tom, what are we gonna do?”

They are in the hospital emergency room and Tom is coming out of a back area, his mouth wired shut. He can’t answer his sister and even if he could it probably would make that much difference.

“What if he’s in a ditch somewhere? I can’t believe we let him get away.”

Phil, Colleen, and Moira roll their eyes.

“Honey, I’m sure he’s fine. More than likely back home waiting for us.”

“I wish,” Jack grumbles.

“No, no, NO! Jack would have called! Something is wrong! I know it!”

Tom’s look of distress says that he agrees with his sister.

The moment fades away and Jack is back in the Great Divide. This time, though, he is alone.

“Hey, Ezekiel! Where are you? Take a wrong turn or something?”

No answer.

“Hey, this isn’t funny... Come on!”

No answer. Jack is getting anxious.

Suddenly, the ground below him is gone and he plummets into the unknown. The fiery unknown.

“NOOOO!!! I don’t wanna die! Please, Ezekiel, don’t let them do this!”

Below, lava spits up and demons cackle.

“God, I wanna live! PLEASE! LET ME GO BACK!!!”

He closes his eyes as he is about to be fried to a crisp by a geyser of fire when everything stops. The cackling of demons is replaced by the sounds of machines and people talking softly. Jack opens his eyes halfway. He is in a bed in the hospital.

“I’m alive,” he thinks, groggily.

As his eyes adjust to the dark of the room, he realizes that he is not alone- Sabrina is still there, now asleep in the chair next to the bed. He tries, in vain, to call to her but can’t because all he can manage is a whisper. It hurts too much to move, so that’s outta the question. Then he notices that something is in his left hand- Sabrina’s right hand. He does the only thing he can think of. He squeezes her hand causing her to start and wake up. She looks around for what scared her. She glances at the figure in the bed and catches a shit-eating grin spread across the face.

Softly, “Jack...?”

A raspy voice replies, “Hey...”

“And in other news, 3 inches of snow are expected tonight. A winter weather advisory is in effect for all of Cook County.”

“‘Winter weather advisory?’ Shesh... They never use to have those...”

Morning has come and with it Kate has returned. Sabrina has gone home with Rene with a promise to come back.

Kate grins at her father, “The weatherman can’t hear you.”

“I know... You can barely hear me right now as it is.”

“Damn, have you got a cow-lick.”

“Huh?”

“Here,” she pulls a comb out of her purse, “Lemme see what I can do.”

Jack patiently puts up with her fussing. She finishes and steps back.

“Well- how do I look?”

“I’m not sure but I think I just made it worse.”

“Great...”

“Hey, it could be worse- coulda made ya look like a poodle.”

“Jack?”

Both Jack and Kate look up. Ann enters the room. She seems to be confused by Kate being there. Jack sees this.

“Kate, this is my sister, Ann Meyer. Ann, this is Detective Kathleen McCoy- my daughter.”

Kate stands and shakes Ann’s hand, “Call me Kate.”

“Pleased to meet you- finally,” she shoots glare at Jack. He shrugs.

“Well, I’m gonna try and get some breakfast left-overs. Either of you want anything?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“No thanks.”

“Okay. Be back in a few.”

Ann watches her leave and then turns to Jack.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was. How is Tom doing?”

“He’s fine. Best thing is he can’t talk very well for six weeks.”

Jack grimaces, “Oh God, I didn’t mean to hurt him that bad.”

Ann waves it off, “He’s been asking for it for a long time.”

“Thought you didn’t like me doing that.”

“I didn’t but I made Tom tell me what was going on between you two on the way to the hospital.”

“He tell you everything?”

“Oh yeah. He sang like a little canary. Everything from your questionable interpretation of the law to your numerous affairs.”

Jack sighs and then grins nervously, “Well, how do you like me now?”

“I don’t know, Jack. You’re... ummm... aren’t the person I thought you were.”

“You wanted me to be a saint but I’m just as human as the next person.”

“I would have settled for normal.”

“Have you ever met a McCoy who was normal?”

She chuckles, “We come from a long line of wackos.”

“And we’re proud of it.”

“Speaking being proud- how about Kate?”

“You kiddn’? 27 and she’s already a detective. I’m as proud as a peacock.”

“She certainly has your attitude.”

“How do you know that? You only talked to her for all of 2 minutes.”

“Her body language.”

“Well, she’s got her mother’s looks. Everything except for her eyes. Vicki’s were blue. Kate’s are brown.”

“Your’s...”

“I guess...”

“Invite her over for Christmas. Her mother was an orphan and died two years ago. She’s got no one except us but she’s too stubborn to ask for help.”

Ann looks a little shocked, “Of course I’ll invite her- she’s family!”

“Thanks.”

Just then Kate strides in carrying a bagel and juice.

Jack pulls a face, “Nice breakfast.”

“Thanks. Better than most of my meals.”

“Three cheers for nutrition.”

Ann smiles at the banter and then clears her throat, “Kate, I would be very happy if you could join us for Christmas dinner at my house tonight.”

“Well... I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Who’s intruding? You’re family.”

“I.. I would love to. Thanks.”

“Good. Now, with that settled, Jack- how about we bring up your gifts later today?”

“Aww, now you don’t have to come back again today. You need to be at home with your people.”

“You are my people- faults and all.”

“Gee, is that a compliment or a cleverly disguised criticism?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be.”

“Great.”

A soft knock at the door interrupts them.

“God, who is there left to come in here?” Ann questions.

“I dunno...,” Jack has no idea who it would be, “Ask’em if its friend or foe.”

“Friend or foe?” Ann and Kate chime.

“How about neutral?”

Sabrina walks in and appears to be a little put off by the male female ratio in the room. She glances at Jack.

“Talk about the rooster in the hen house.”

“Oh, counselor- this is my aunt, Ann Meyer.”

There is a brief look of relief that crosses Sabrina’s face that she manages to quickly hide- but not before Kate sees it, “Pleased meet you.”

“Same here... Hey, aren’t you that lady district attorney?”

“There are many female D.A.’s.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who my husband talks about. He says you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Is he, by any chance, Phillip Meyer?”

“Yes, that’s him.”

“Figures... He doesn’t like me because I can beat him and he doesn’t like losing.”

“Sounds like my Phil.”

Kate chances look at her father. He seems pleasantly surprised to see Sabrina again but isn’t saying anything.

“Aunt Ann?”

“What?”

“I think we should go. I mean, I wanna help out with dinner.”

“Okay, just one more question-”

“Let’s go, Aunt Ann.”

Kate just about drags Ann out of the room. Sabrina chuckles.

“They’re... funny, Jack.”

“They’re my family- could you expect any less?”

“Not really...,” she takes a seat in the chair next to the bed, “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good considering they were poking around in my head for a few hours only yesterday.”

“God, think of the things they might have found up there!”

“I don’t wanna think about it- all those dirty thoughts.”

“Yeah, cause we all know what a leech you are.”

“Me and Hue Hefner.”

“Hey, Hue- unusual hairdo you’re sporting there.”

“You like it? I call it the ‘Road-kill special’.”

“Charming.”

“I thought so.”

The TV reporter laughs at something in the background.

“How’s Rene doing?”

“How did you?”

Jack thinks fast, “Kate told me.”

“Oh, well she’ll be okay. It looks worse than it is.”

“That’s good.”

They watch a report on mad cow disease.

“And to think I wanted steak for dinner.”

Sabrina smiles but then turns somber, “Jack, you gave everyone quite a scare. I know Kate McCoy and she doesn’t rattle easily. She was afraid you’d die before you both could make up.”

“I know, I know...”

“And what about the rest of your family? What about my father and all your co-workers? Huh?”

Jack looks away, “Ya don’t need to tell me that.”

Her tone turns very soft, “And, umm, what about me?”

Jack jerks his over back over to her but says nothing.

Sabrina doesn’t know quite how to continue now that’s she’s opened that can of worms. She laughs nervously and then tries to continue.

“Jack, I would have considered it more than just a professional loss if you had died.”

Her face is beet red and she stares at the floor. Jack doesn’t know what to say. Sabrina lifts her head and starts to get up.

“Oy, I’m sorry to bore you with the silly ravings of an old woman,” she is trying to salvage some of her pride.

“Wait.”

She stops.

“They’re not silly... If they’re what you really feel.”

She tries not to look him in the eye, “They are.”

Jack recalls Ezekiel’s warning.

“It’s what happens when people don’t tell each other how they feel.”

“Well, no time like the present to try and change,” he thinks to himself.

Sabrina waits for him to saying something- anything- else.

“Sabrina, I- Ya see, it’s like this- Well, I...”

“You don’t have to humor me so I don’t feel so foolish.”

“Who said anything about humoring you? I’m making an ass of myself here trying to say something pretty simple.”

“Maybe that accident knocked some stuff loose,” she is working to make light of the whole situation.

Jack frowns- he doesn’t wanna make a joke out this.

“Listen, Sabrina...”

She stops her nervous laughing and waits.

“I like being around you... Somehow, being around you makes me feel calmer.”

Sabrina is surprised that the feelings are mutual and her face shows it.

“Jack, I’m...”

“I’ve got some time-off coming... Whaddaya say about me coming out here sometime and us getting together for dinner?”

“Sounds... Sounds like a great idea... After you get released from here, though, got it?”

Jack rolls his eyes, “If you say so.”

“I do.”

In this time, Sabrina has drifted back to the side of the bed.

“I gotta go and see how Rene is doing- she’s waiting for me. I’ll come back and see you before you leave, okay?”

“Alright.”

She, gently, kisses his forehead and then leaves.

Jack sighs contentedly and then goes back to watching the news.

Out in the waiting room, Rene has her hands full- three monsters are oooing and ahhing over her cast.

“Get back!”

“Oh come on, Rene. They’re just curious.”

Rene glares at her Aunt Alexa.

“Alexa? What are you doing here?”

Alexa watches her sister approach them, “Dad sent me out here with the kids and David. Said we should come see you since you’re stuck here.”

“When did you get here?”

“This morning. Drove here from New York.”

“Did you spend any time with Dad?”

“Oh yeah, but he told us yesterday morning that we should try and see you before we head back to Toronto.”

“Oh.”

“So, what’s new with you?”

Six days pass and we see Lennie Briscoe and Mike Logan making their way through the D.A.’s office. It is the end of the work day on New Year’s Eve. Secretaries are leaving and Mike is eyeing them as the pass. Most of them scowl at him. He just grins at them.

“You are completely tactless, Mike.”

“I know.”

“Well, we’re not here so you can get a little ass.”

“Oh but it could be.”

“They’d kick your ass, Detective.”

Jack McCoy strides up to them.

“Hey Counselor.”

“What can I do for you gentlemen?”

“Wanna join us for some New Year’s drinking? It’ll be alcohol for Mike- club soda for me.”

“Nah. I’ve got some paperwork to do.”

Lennie sighs, “I figured but thought I should at least ask.”

The two police officers start to leave and Jack is about to walk back to his office when he realizes what he is about to do.

“I’m working unpaid over-time on New Year’s Eve...,” he thinks, “What the Hell???”

He runs to his office, grabs his coat and briefcase, and goes after Lennie and Mike.

“Hey, wait up!”

The detectives see him coming and grin in spite of themselves.

Remember no man is a failure who has friends.”

The End