Written By: George W. Bush
Status: Staff Writer
Just the other day, at 2:15 when all classes were dismissed, a sophomore, Ahmed Helal, was seen fighting for air. However, he wasn't hyperventilating, he was simply trying to get out of his enormous, shoddy, crappily-made K-Mart jacket! Now, for the plain reason that everyone at Columbia Heights High School is a conformist, and that Ahmed's entire wardrobe is either from K-Mart or the garbage can behind Sharky's, this makes him an outcast as it is.
However, when he was struggling for that oh-so-necessary gas we call oxygen while trapped inside his coat, he quickly became the subject of many jokes, laughs, taunts, etc. Personally, I found it funny, and then I thought: What if it was me? I guess I'd want them to laugh at me too....oh well, I guess that's how the cookie crumbles. More on this story to come....