God As A Kid - by Rachel (aka Birdee)


When I was little, I used to think God was a kid. God had parents who made him eat his vegetables and would send him to his room when he misbehaved. And sometimes when he came into his room, he would play with this big toy his mother gave him for his birthday.

God was a rich, spoiled kid.

And God would play with the toy. It was shaped like an sphere and had millions and millions of little dolls on it. And God would give the dolls free will, so he could watch them and laugh at them when they made mistakes, because God knew what was going to happen.

And sometimes, instead of watching his dolls, God got called over to a friend's house, and the dolls went through their normal lives unsupervised.

Some of the dolls were boring. In fact, all of the dolls were boring. So God decided he would present himself to the dolls and watch what happened. He spoke to many of the dolls, but he would usually present himself as a different person each time. Sometimes, he was more than one person. He liked to confuse them.

And the dolls finally spread out over the sphere and met each other. And when they did, they claimed God was on their side. They thought God only spoke to them, when in reality, he spoke to everyone.

God was pleased. He watched them argue.

A lot of times war would break out. But the people who fought them were only dolls. And God laughed at them because they were stupid and arrogant to think he only spoke to them. God knew the doll's nature, and he would watch as they destroyed themselves again and again.

And he would watch thousands be slaughtered in a single day just because they were Jewish or Christian or Muslim. And he would watch and be glad that Mommy and Daddy and their friends were much smarter than the dolls.

God knew not every doll was stupid. He also knew that a lot of the smart dolls just wanted a leader. They would find their leader and whatever he said was okay, would be okay. Then they would listen to him and go to war, fighting for their religion. And God laughed because it seemed only the civilizations with stupid leaders seemed to survive.

Anyway, slowly God began to grow up, although a lot slower than the dolls. And God would leave the dolls more often, and it seemed God spoke to no one anymore. God got new toys.

The dolls felt lonely, but they always told the others that he still talked to them. And they waited for their messiahs or apocalypses or judgment days in vain, because God forgot all about them.

God decided he rather hang out drinking at parties instead of talking to the stupid little dolls in the back of his closet.

And more wars broke out, but God did not laugh, because he did not watch.

And that was what I thought about God when I was a kid.