Thoughts to ponder!

*After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

*How can there be self-help "groups"?

*If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

*If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

*If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

*If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

*Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

*Is there another word for synonym?

*Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

*Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

*When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

*When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

*Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

*Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

*Why do they report power outages on TV?

Funny verses

*it was the night before finals,

and all through the college,

The students were praying

For last minute knowledge.

*Most were quite sleepy,

But none touched their beds,

While visions of essays

Danced in their heads.

*Out in the taverns,

A few were still drinking,

And hoping that liquor

Would loosen up their thinking.

*In my own room,

I had been pacing,

And dreading exams

I soon would be facing.

*My roommate was speechless,

Her nose in her books,

And my comments to her

Drew unfriendly looks.

*I drained all the coffee,

And brewed a new pot,

No longer caring

That my nerves had been shot.

*I started at my notes,

But my thoughts were muddy,

My eyes went a blur,

I just couldn't study.

*"Some pizza might help,"

I said with a shiver,

But each place I called

Refused to deliver.

*I'd nearly concluded

That life was too cruel,

With futures depending

On grades had in school.

*When all of a sudden,

Our door opened wide,

And Patron Saint Put It Off

Ambled inside.

*His spirit was careless,

His manner was mellow,

All of a sudden,

He started to bellow.

*His message delivered

He vanished from sight.

But we heard him laughing

Outside in the night.

*Your teachers have pegged you

So just do your best.

Happy Finals to All

And to all a Good Test.