Later that morning, Sarah woke in the security of Kevin’s arms. She felt his warm breathe on her skin, his arms holding her close to his muscular chest, and his beard against her neck. She snuggled closer wanting to stay right where she was and feel his body pressed against her.
As she moved, Kevin began to wake up. "Mmmm, Mornin’, baby."
"Mornin’, Kev."
"Sleep okay?"
"Yeah."
"How do you feel?"
"Ummmmmmm....hung over, protected, thrilled, happy, terrified, confused."
"Sorry I asked," teased Kevin.
Sarah rolled over to face Kevin and reached up to brush his hair back out of his face. "Do you regret last night?"
Kissing her tenderly on the forehead, Kevin said, "The only thing I regret is what it’s doing to you....and to Howie."
Sarah began to kiss Kevin’s chest, moist, feathery kisses, trailing from his neck down to his nipples which became hard at the touch of her lips. Kevin ran his hand down her arm to her waist and then under the shirt, his shirt, that she wore. He slid his hand up to her breasts taking one excited point between his thumb and forefinger. He pulled at it making it harder than it already was as she looked up into his eyes. He kissed her, his tongue tickling hers and teasing her for more.
Without warning, Kevin pulled away from Sarah and rolled onto his back covering his face with his hands. "Damnit! What am I doing?"
Sarah propped herself up on an elbow and looked at Kevin. "What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?"
Kevin uncovered his face to look at her and saw the confusion in her eyes. He reached over and cupped her face in his large hand. "Yes! I want you! More than ever but I can’t do this! You’re Howie’s girlfriend!"
"That didn’t stop you last night."
"No...but it should have! I’m not like this, Sarah."
"Neither am I, Kevin!" she said somewhat defensively.
Realizing how it must have sounded to her, Kevin said, "I didn’t mean you were. Look, I want to make love to you so bad it hurts but you just said you were confused and terrified. Making love IS NOT going to help you figure things out."
"I also said that I was protected, thrilled, and happy. It’s because of you...and AJ...that I feel like that. I’ve finally been able to admit my true feelings."
"I understand all that, baby, but you need to work things out with Howie. After that, if you still want me, I’ll be MORE than glad to make love to you as long and as much as you want."
"So, we’re okay?"
"Definitely. Sarah, I’ve been in love with you ever since Howie introduced us but you were his girlfriend and I respected that."
Sarah rested her head on Kevin’s shoulder. "How long, Kevin?"
"How long what?"
"Before we can be together."
"That depends on you and Howie."
"I’m going to break up with him."
"Because you feel like you’ve betrayed him?"
"No, because if I stay with him with these feelings for you and AJ, I am going to betray him. It’s not fair to him or me to stay in a relationship feeling like this. When I’m with Howie, I feel so safe, so protected. With AJ, it’s like another side of me. I can be wild and free but that also scares the hell out of me. You, you’re a combination of them both. One minute, you’re wild and free like AJ but you’ve still got that mature side that makes me feel the way I do when I’m with Howie. Like last night. I NEVER would have thought you’d do something like that but this morning, you’re the safe harbor for me this ‘storm’."
"Then why leave Howie if you’re safe and secure?"
"Because I’m not sure if it’s safe and secure that I want."
"Sounds like you have a lot to work out and not just with Howie. I’m starving. Why don’t you get a shower while I fix us something to eat?"
"Are you going to call Howie?"
"I did tell him I would call when you woke up. Do you want me to wait?"
"No, it’s going to take him at least an hour to get here."
Kevin kissed her and watched as she got up to go get a shower. Then he got up and pulled on a pair of shorts and a wife-beater and went down to fix some lunch.
As Kevin cooked, Sarah got her shower and then dressed in a pair of sweats that Kevin had left on the bed for her. She went down to the kitchen and sat at the bar to watch Kevin. He handed her a glass of juice and gave her a kiss.
"My sweats never looked that good before."
"Thanks. Is Howie on his way?’
"I couldn’t reach him," answered Kevin as the doorbell rang.
"I’ll get it," said Sarah.