Part 43

"Are we there yet?" Becca shifted in her seat for the thousandth time.

"Again? Bec we just stopped less than an hour ago."

"Nicky, I can't help it if YOUR child takes after its father. She's been dancing on my bladder for the last thirty miles."

The rental car was barely past Miami, which meant that they still had a good four hours to go till they arrived in Orlando and Becca was already making Nick crazy. Well, crazier than usual. Nick sighed.

"Ok, the next rest stop is in Pompano. Can you hang on for another fifteen minutes?"

"Lord, not much choice I guess."

"So tell me some more about Denver."

"What?!"

"C'mon, it'll take your mind off Junior for a while." Nick grinned at the statement on Becca's face. She was so convinced it was going to be a girl that it amused him greatly to needle her by calling the baby "Junior".

"Nick! Not funny. My daughter will not be called 'Junior'."

"But what if-"

"No. Now, what was the question?"

"Denver, you were gonna tell me about Denver."

And so, for the next twenty miles, Becca rambled on and on about her time in the Mile High City. As Nick pulled into the closest parking space to the bathrooms Becca was just finishing her account of her phone conversation with Sarah just a few nights before. "I've asked Sarah to be my matron of honor, Nick."

"That's cool, Bec. I was thinking about asking Howie to be my best man. I mean, he was really there for me, you know? He and Sarah both were the ones that kept me from giving up."

"I think that will be perfect. God," she groaned, "get me out of here!"

Nick laughed, pulling a baseball cap over his blonde hair and putting his glasses on.

"Great disguise, babe. Do have any idea how many pictures like that are all over the internet?" Becca laughed, shaking her head.

"Special. My girl's become addicted to BSB web sites." Nick shook his head and helped her out and into the rest stop. "Meet me over there, ok?" he nodded toward the sunglass kiosk by the men's room.

Becca emerged several minutes later, feeling a hundred percent better. God, everything smelled so good, and she decided the baby needed a frozen yogurt cone. She tracked down Nick at the cheesy souvenir stand and dragged him toward the food court.

"Strawberry AND chocolate? Bec, where do you put all of it? I've never seen you eat like this…"

"The baby was hungry," she rationalized.

"Not!" he laughed. "You amaze me. Just don't complain how much weight you've gained after Junior arrives, you'll get no sympathy from me."

He laughed loudly when Becca stuck her tongue out at him. "Don't start that, I'll give you something to do with it."

"Bad. You're bad, Nick Carter."

"Yeah? You love it," he smirked.

"Maybe," she teased and set off towards the car.

Two hours (and one more bathroom stop) later, they were approaching Ft. Pierce, the halfway point between Miami and Orlando, when Becca saw a sign for Cracker Barrel.

"AGAIN?"

"Pleeeaaaassse????" Leaning closer, she ran her fingers through his hair and traced his ear with her finger. "C'mon, it's past lunchtime anyway…."

"Let me guess, the baby's hungry?"

"No, her MAMA's hungry. Please? It's been so long since I've been to a Cracker Barrel."

"Bec, I just wanta get back home."

Becca sighed dramatically and retreated to her side of the car and Nick rolled his eyes.

An hour later they were back on the road, having stuffed themselves on chicken pot pie and peach cobbler, and having given the manager shipping directions for a rocking chair for the nursery.

Becca dozed the rest of the way to her house, waking as Nick pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, baby, we're home." Nick cut the engine and reached over to brush the hair out of her eyes.

Becca stared quietly at the house she'd left so suddenly almost five months ago.

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I've come full circle, Nick. If I want to get past this I have to confront all of the demons. It's the only way I can move on."

"Let's go in, then."

Silently they made their way to the front door, both lost in their own particular hell, the memories of the last time they were each here. Becca thought back to the night she fled, terrified at the thought of what she had done to Nick, and Nick remembered his frantic search for Becca as he went from room to room looking for any trace she might have left behind. He gave Becca her space, watching as she slowly walked through the house looking at each room as if taking inventory. It was exactly the same as she had left it, and she climbed the stairs to her room as Nick stood silently in the entryway.

"Nick?" Becca called out and he took the stairs two at a time, finding her standing in the middle of her bedroom, a lost look on her face. "My pillow is gone. It's the one thing I wished I had taken with me, but it's not here, anywhere."

Nick blushed, smiling in embarrassment. "I have it."

"You have it? Why?"

"It's on my bus, Bec. The night-" he stopped to clear his throat of the sudden tears that were preventing his voice from working properly, "the night you left, I stayed here. I just needed to be close to you. I slept here, on your bed. Your pillow smelled like you, Bec. I held it close and I could feel you, I could breathe you. When we left the next day I took it with me. It was all I had."

There was nothing Becca could say. She'd apologized so many times and there was no way she could ever undo the hurt she'd caused, so she simply stood and looked at Nick. She could barely see him through the tears that filled her eyes and as she looked away they began to fall.

No words were necessary. Nick took three steps to reach her and held her close as she cried. As they stood together, he saw the light on her stereo flashing. Odd, he thought he'd turned everything off the next morning when he'd gone to join the guys. He kissed the top of her head as he reached for the remote control, whatever had been playing last was on 'pause'. He clicked the button and Becca gasped as the room was filled with sound.

"Ohmygod," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.

Nick held her tightly as he began to sing along.

Becca was sobbing by the time the song ended, finally releasing everything she'd held inside for so many months.

"God, Bec, I love you so much, you have no idea." Nick kissed her tenderly, wiping the tears from her face. "Better now?"

"I think so," she nodded. "Nick-"

"Shh, don't. I know, ok?"

She nodded, reaching for a tissue on the dresser.

"I'm gonna bring in our bags. Wash your face and when I come back in we'll order takeout, I figure you're probably hungry again by now." He grinned as she giggled.

"That's a happier sound. I know we have a lot of plans to make, but let's just hang out here tonight, make some happier memories for this place, ok?"

"Sounds perfect Nick."

"Be right back."

"Nick-" Becca called out, stopping him just as he went through the door. "I love you."

He winked at her once and bounded down the stairs and out the door to retrieve their bags.

Part 44        The Dance Index