Part 365
"The charges were dropped."
As the words began to sink in, Sarah felt like her world was falling apart. How could he drop the charges? Why? Howie had promised to protect her but he was standing her now telling her the charges against the man who had just raped her were dropped.
Howie watched Sarah, the hurt and betrayal she felt intensified in her eyes. "Angel, please, just listen to me. I had…."
"NO! DON’T! I can’t listen to your excuses! You promised to protect me! How is dropping the charges against the man who raped me protecting me?" raged Sarah. "Next you’re going to tell me he’s still working for us!"
"No, he’s gone," said Howie as he tried to take Sarah’s hand.
Sarah jerked away from him. "DON’T TOUCH ME!" she screamed hysterically.
"Calm down, Sarah," urged Howie. "You’re going to make yourself sick."
"WHAT DO YOU CARE? Oh, right, you’re only worried about the babies! You don’t give a shit about me! I’m just the body you needed to carry what you truly wanted! How could I believe that you actually loved me?"
"That’s not true," said Howie as tears fell. "Please, just listen to me! I can explain it all."
"Why? So you can lie to me some more? You don’t trust me enough to know my own body so you ORDER me to see a doctor. You keep it from me that the entire crew knows everything about my sex life. Does it make you feel like a man thinking you’re protecting me? What else does the crew know about my past? Do they know I was an addict? When can I expect someone to attack me and shoot me up with drugs? Is this your way of protecting me? MAKING me the damsel in distress so you can ride in and make everything right."
Sarah was hysterical and rightfully so but Howie wanted to explain. He needed her to listen. He tried again to take her in his arms. "Angel, please…you need to listen to me."
She shoved him back. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GOD! This is all a damn nightmare! You use to make my nightmares go away. NOW you’re causing them."
Sarah pushed past Howie and headed to the back slamming the door behind her. She locked it just as he was reaching it.
Through the door, Howie called, "Come on, Sarah! Give me a chance to explain."
"NO!"
"You’re not being fair! I always listen to you when you piss me off!"
"GO AWAY, DAMNIT!"
"No, Sarah! I’m not going away. You’re my wife and I want to explain. Open the door."
Sarah was on the bed with his pillow pulled close as she cried. She was scared, hurt, angry, and betrayed and she wanted it all to go away.
Howie could hear her through the door and he was desperate to get in there to her to hold her. He knew if he could just get her to listen to him, she would calm down and understand. "Sarah, please. Open the door. Let me explain."
Nothing.
"Sarah, I love you."
Still nothing.
"Fine! At least you aren’t screaming at me. You can listen to me through the door. David was here to get the story about AJ and our ‘sharing’ you and he had it after Nick let it slip. He hung around to find out more details and to get closer to you. He was out for revenge too. He’d met you at Russell’s and you blew him off. ‘Angel’, I dropped the charges to make the story go away." Dropping his voice, he continued, "I paid him off, Sarah. I paid him a hundred thousand to forget the story and stay out of our lives."
The door opened slowly and Howie looked into her swollen, red eyes. Wiping her tears, she asked, "You paid him off?"
"He was getting ten grand for the story from that reporter in New York so I offered him fifty thousand. He said for a hundred grand, he’d never come back but he wanted the charges dropped."
"And you paid him?"
"I’d have paid him a lot more to make it go away," he said reaching to brush her tears away. She didn’t pull away this time. "Angel, I love you so much and I will do whatever it takes to make it go away. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Nick."
"Why, Howie? And don’t tell me it was to protect me."
Seeing how tired she was, Howie said, "Let’s go lay down and I’ll hold you while we talk."
Gratefully, Sarah let him guide her over and they settled down. Howie cradled her close to him, her hair falling across his arm.
"Sarah, when Nick announced all our ‘secrets’, we were arguing and a lot of things were said to hurt each other. I was mad at him and he was hurt. He needed you so I couldn’t tell you. If I had, you’d have been upset with him too."
"You did it for Nick?"
"As mad as I was at him, yeah. I knew you were the only one at the time not completely fed up with him."
"Why didn’t you tell me in Chicago then, or after you two had worked things out?"
"Honestly, I forgot about it."
"How could you forget that Nick had told everyone what happened?"
"I really wasn’t worried about it. Our crew is cool and they never treated you any differently. Any one of them would defend you. I thought it was going to be Todd who went after David today and not Raoul. I was wrong not to tell you."
Howie and Sarah heard the bus door open and then Kevin call out for them.
"Back here, Kevin," answered Howie.
Kevin appeared at the door. "The doctor is here."
"Doctor?"
"Please, ‘Angel’," begged Howie. "Kevin called one of the doctors on your list. Let him…"
"Her."
"Her. Let her examine you."
Sarah didn’t want to argue with Howie because she knew he was right. "Okay."
Kevin nodded his head and turned to go get the doctor.
"Thank you, ‘Angel’," whispered Howie as he kissed her forehead.
Kevin reappeared at the door with a relatively young female doctor. "Sarah, Howie…this is Dr. Morgan. She’s head of the OB department here at the local hospital."
"Thank you for coming, Dr. Morgan," said Howie as he got up to greet her.
"Your friends said Sarah refused to go to the emergency room but that she needed to be examined. Sarah, rape is a very serious thing."
"Believe me, I know."
"Sarah’s ex-husband use to rape her repeatedly and she’s been through the rape victim sessions," explained Howie.
Sitting beside Sarah on the bed, Dr. Morgan began her exam as she said, "Then you should know you need to be checked out, especially since you’re pregnant. Gentlemen, I’m going to be doing a pelvic exam."
Kevin said, "I’ll leave. ‘D’, as soon as the doctor is done, come on in for sound checks."
"I’ll be there."
"Kevin, I still need to do mine," said Sarah.
"We’ll see," said Kevin. "Wait and see what Dr. Morgan says then you two discuss it."
Kevin left and Dr. Morgan proceeded with her exam. Howie sat with Sarah holding her hand and playing with her hair.
As she made notes on Sarah’s chart, she said, "Your blood pressure is a little high compared to what is in your charts."
"We uh…we just had an argument," said Sarah meekly.
"Well, on top of what you’ve been through, it’s understandable."
"Is it a problem?" asked Howie with concern.
"I don’t think so. I’d like to check it tomorrow, just to be sure."
"Becca can do it for me. She’s got all the stuff and knows how," said Sarah.
"That’s fine."
"What should it be?" asked Howie.
Looking at Sarah’s chart, Dr. Morgan said, "It looks to be averaging about 104 over 80. Now, I have one more thing to do and I’m done."
"What’s that?" asked Howie.
"I want to listen to the babies’ heartbeats. Have you heard them, Mr. Dorough?"
Sarah looked at Howie who had a goofy expression on his face as he said, "I’ve been with her for every checkup since we found out but it still amazes me."
Dr. Morgan smiled. "Is this your first?"
"It’s our first but we have a daughter from my first marriage that Howie adopted."
"That’s wonderful," said Dr. Morgan. "Normally, what we do is listen to one heartbeat at a time but I have two monitors with me so why don’t we listen to them together. Sarah, you know the drill. The gel is going to be cold."
Dr. Morgan found the babies and then poured the gel onto Sarah’s stomach. She gasped as it hit her and Howie laughed. A second later, the freight train could be heard and a tear escaped down Howie’s cheek. Showing Howie how to operate the second monitor, Dr. Morgan found the other heartbeat and they listened to both freight trains.
"They sound strong and healthy," said Dr. Morgan as she removed the monitors. "I’m done. Everything looks fine, Sarah. No damage but you’re going to be sore for a couple days and Howie, don’t be surprised by the bruising on her thighs. He was rather rough with her. I’d avoid intercourse for a day or so just to give yourself time to heal."
"Thank you, Dr. Morgan," said Howie.
"This man has been dealt with?"
The couple looked at each other and Sarah said, "Yes ma’am. My knight in shining armor took care of everything."
Howie kissed Sarah’s hand as Dr. Morgan said, "Somehow I knew that. It was nice meeting you both. You know, my niece is a huge fan of the Backstreet Boys."
"Is she coming to either one of the shows?" asked Howie.
"I’m sure she is."
"Tell you what. Before you leave, leave me your niece’s name and I’ll see to it that she gets backstage passes. All she has to do is come to the stage area and give one of the men in yellow shirts her name and they’ll bring her backstage," said Howie.
"I’m sure she would love that."
"Dr. Morgan, is there any reason I can’t perform?" asked Sarah as she sat up with Howie’s help.
"I don’t see why not but I DO recommend you call your counselor or go see one of ours here in town."
Sarah looked at Howie as she said, "I’m gonna call my counselor in Florida soon. Thank you, Dr. Morgan."
"’Angel’, I’m going to see Dr. Morgan out. I’ll be back in a minute," said Howie giving her a kiss.
Leaving Sarah alone in their room to get dressed, Howie led Dr. Morgan out of the bus. A huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders but now to deal with the aftermath of the rape and the argument. Sarah thought about Nick and the hurt she felt by his betrayal. She couldn’t forget the look in his eyes when she unleashed on him and knew he was truly sorry. She’d have to talk to him and soon.