Part 237
The next day, Howie was like a zombie. Oh, he did all the right things. He signed autographs; smiled for the cameras; he hit the right notes during sound checks; and he said the right things in the interviews, but the guys knew it was sheer repetition that was getting him through. It was sheer repetition that was getting them all through this. They had managed to get through to Sonja, Alison, and Vanessa in Florida and told them the news before they heard it on the television.
Just before the show was to start, Kevin looked at Howie and asked, "Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?"
"I have to, Kevin," he said softly.
The five men took the stage wearing the clothes they had worn to the arena and stood with Krystal, Sisqo, and their band. The roadies, the bus drivers, and dancers were there too. Kevin took a mic and started talking to the crowd about what had happened in the United States. He told them about Danny, Sarah, and Raoul being on the flight and you could hear the gasps of disbelief, shock, and horror throughout the arena. They sang ‘America the Beautiful’ after a moment of silence and then the guys went to change their clothes.
After leaving the stage, Krystal performed and as she sang ‘You’re the Reason’, Howie sat in his dressing room and cried. All the guys sat with him and Kevin reached over to put his arm around Howie.
Quietly, he said, "We’ll get through this, ‘D’."
"God, Kevin! Why? Why did she have to be on that damn plane? Why didn’t we just use the studios on your bus or AJ’s bus?"
"Because it would have taken longer to do it that way," answered AJ.
There was a knock at the door and Jeff stuck his head in. "Guys, its time."
"Okay. Thanks, Jeff," said Brian. Then to Howie, "You don’t have to go out there."
Howie wiped his eyes, "Yeah, I do. Let’s get this show over with."
For the first time in his life, Howie REALLY and truly did NOT want to go onstage. Tonight, he was going on for them…the fans…not because he enjoyed it and wanted to do it but because 70,000 people had come to see them perform, to see them laugh, sing, dance, and do those little things that were characteristic of the Backstreet Boys… Nick’s pelvic thrust, Brian’s flirting with the grandmothers, the Kevin and AJ show, and his salsa moves. The little things that Sarah loved so much. How in the hell would he ever be able to do them again?
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That same morning things seemed to be settling down in Boston. The airports were still closed as were the train stations and the bus stations. However, Mark was able to get Sarah and Raoul a rental car and they would be able to drive to Toronto. Leaving at ten that morning, the two would easily be able to make it to Toronto and be able to see Howie before he went on stage. She thanked her brother and he sent them on their way.
The drive was long and with no sleep, Sarah and Raoul had a difficult time. They had to stop several times to rest along with get something to eat or drink. Each time they stopped, Sarah tried to call Howie but always got the same thing. ‘User unavailable’.