Saving the world is cool and all. But Barret Wallace and Cid Highwind weren't satisfied. The stupid jerks didn't give them any money. All people did all day was ask if they could sign crap. So the two heros turned to the gritty underworld of the mafia. And these guys meant business.
"Hey Joey, didn't you say you robbed dat place once?"
"Yeah, the guy dat owned it was nuttin. He broke down and let us have anythin' we wanted."
Barret Wallace and Cid Highwind were hanging out with their three other mafia friends: Joey, Tony, and Moe. They were currently planning where to rob next.
"I say we don't go for that place again. Only a jackass would. The fuzz would be all over our asses, and my piece's almost outta ammo." Cid explained.
"Fine, we'll go for that crappy rundown piece of shit place down in Wall Market. The one that sells shitty clothing. Some former drunk owns it." Moe settled. So the five mobsters got up, picked up their guns, and hopped into their car. (Cid decided that a shotgun was better than his spear, but Barret still used his gun arm). About half an hour later they got out of the car and busted into the cheap clothing store.
"All right ya big bunch a pussies, get yer sorry asses down on the ground, we're taking every piece a' cash ya' got!" Tony yelled out. Cid, Tony, and Moe all took everything from the customer's pockets, while Barrett and Joey looted the cash register. In a few minutes they were out of there leaving the police biting the dust.
"Hahaaaa!"
The five mafia men were having a victory party. All of the money they got totalled in 10000 gil, plus tons of jewelry and watches.
BRRRIIING...BRRRIIING...BRRRIIING...Click! Moe picked up the phone.
"Yes, who's there!...hmmm...okay...let us think about it..." Moe seemed to be talking to somebody very important. "G-g-g-guys! It's da' boss! H-h-h-h-he wants us to pull of a drive-by and he'll give us five tickets to Costa del Sol! Talk about paradise!"
Obviously, the five mobsters took the offer and were getting into the car the next day.
"So, who are these people that the boss wants us to get?" Cid asked.
"These guys are just some long time rivals of da' boss. They should be hanging out at some outdoor resturant in Sector 7."
Not much later they were driving past the resturant in Sector 7, scanning to see which guys were their targets. They saw a group of shady looking men wearing black leather jackets, and Tony took out his Uzi. It was go-time. SCREEEEEECH!!! RATATATATATATATATATAT!!! Tony filled the rival gangsters full of lead then Joey peeled out. A few minutes later a cop car was on their tail. Barrett took care of it with ease using his gun arm. Then they were home free.
"Uhhh...hey boss..." Barrett timidly questioned his boss.
"WHAT!"
"Well, you kinda said when we were done with the job that we could have five tickets to Costa del Sol"
"Ahhh, yes. Here's your ticket. Your ticket to hell." The boss pulled out an assault shotgun and blasted a six-inch hole in Barrett's stomach.
Nanaki was sitting near the bonfire, looking at Shinji in the stars. He could barely understand how his ancestors could make another of his kind out of the stars, but he tried hard to see it.
"YO RED!" Cid puffed. "It's urgent! Very urgent!"
"Yes?" Nanaki asked.
"Barrett...Barrett's dead...some mobster guy killed 'im..."
The shock was clearly visible on Nanaki's canine face as the news hit him...hit him hard.
"We need to get AVALANCHE together again. And kick this sorry mutha fucka's ass straight back to the hell he came out of."
"All right. We're gonna find this mob leader. And we're gonna make sure he has to sit down to piss for the rest of his life!" Cid finished briefing. Tifa was sobbing at the news, Cloud's face turned very pale. Bitch Yuffie was asking for his materia, and Vincent was quiet, sitting in the shadows. Reeves had given up on Cait Sith, and was standing there, face red with fury.
"Where are we going to find this guy?" Vincent asked.
"He has a villa down by the coast on an island near Mideel. He owes us five tickets to Costa del Sol. We're gonna whoop his ass, then steal every bit of money we can get off of him," Cid answered. "And if his cronies try to help him...we'll have to get then too."
Reeves seemed to have regained control of his emotions and brought a smile to everyone's face. "But tonight, to get us ready for the big attack on that jerk mobster, we're gonna eat tons of pizza and get drunk! Well, forget the getting drunk part, and don't eat too much pizza." Just then the pizza man knocked on the door. Cid opened it and the cheesy, savory, succulent, delicious, aroma of pizza slithered into the small dank apartment. Cid then put the pizza onto his small crappy table and opened it. There sat a miracle itself. Cloud took a piece of pizza and bit into it. The others looked into his eyes to seek his approval of the pizza. He swallowed then looked up. A smile appeared as he nodded and took another bite. They all cheered and began enjoying the festivities, before the dangerous day that awaited them up ahead on the road.
"It's under heavy patrol," Nanaki reported to the group. They looked almost comical, dressed in all black, with camoflage paint on their faces. "Except a couple of them are really stupid and they're snorting crack. Let's try to get past them."
So they got past the idiots snorting crack easy enough. But the mobster boss wasn't that stupid. He knew some of his cronies were junkies, and had his own snipers to do some of his work. To AVALANCHE'S dismay, one was aiming at Reeves right now.
CRACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Reeves was hit in the shoulder by a metal slug, pointed to better the aim.
"Reeves, we're coming back to help you!" Tifa whispered.
"No! Go on without me!" Reeves said. (How unoriginal!). Anyways, Vincent pulled out this fancy gun and shot the sniper and killed him with one bullet. Blood was pouring out of Reeves's shoulder like kool-aid from a pitcher, leaving a wet, somewhat crusty mess on his clothing. Reeves was going to bleed to death.
"No! Reeves! You can't die!" Yuffie screamed. So Cid took off his shirt and used it to cover up the inch thick hole in Reeves's body. But it was too late. The last of his life was drained out like water in a bathtub.
But despite their grief at losing three friends in the past several years, (Aeris, Barret, and Reeves) they continued their quest to kill that jackass mobster boss. And so that I don't have some boring fic, I'm going to cut the crap and get to where they find the boss.
They opened the door and saw a huge chair with it's back facing them.
"Ummm...are you the mob boss?" Cid asked.
"Why yes, I am!" the chair spun around and a twisted, scarred, mutilated face stared back at them. It was so ugly that- "Let's get him!" Cid yelled. They all pounced onto the mobster boss and beat him half to death. Then they made it so that he would have to sit down to piss for the rest of his life and went back to cremate Reeves's body, just as he said he wanted to be done once he died.
