The Wake

walking in, warmth covered up the outside chill..
but any warmth left in my heart froze to ice
stepping through that door, my heart grew still
reality was coming, and it didn’t feel nice.

first all i felt was nothing...
this all seems like just a dream
then silence was broken by crying
and people flood the scene

the aroma of funeral flowers..
slapped me in the face...
the casket’s there like before...
I don’t want to be in this place...

people pushing, pushing me closer
I just look at my feet, the ground
everyone here loves her, knows her...
and now she is no longer around...

Time to kneel and pray, just don’t look..
you know what you’ll see and it will hurt
you’ll never imagine how much it took...
I saw her there....thoughts: couldn’t sort

her beautiful liveliness was gone...
just a limp, pliable, empty body remained...
looked so old, like she’s been gone for so long....
this image cut through me, my thoughts were stained...

opened my eyes, and that little girl was there
i love her so much, i had to hold her
how could she look like this was all fair?
the woman in the coffin was her own mother...

you should have seen her standing beside...
as if that woman was just a picture
she was longing to hear that voice arise...
she wasn’t convinced that no one could fix her...

I didn’t cry because that little girl needed strength
her sister with her one and three-quarters babies...
I have to be strong for my limit’s length..
Hugged her for long...I love those young ladies..

everyone was confused that I showed no tears
bursts came and went...it was under control...
I had to hold back, conceal all my fears
found peoples hands for me to hold...

I sat in a room separate from that life bed..
this place wasn’t made for comfort
this room had a kneeling stool ready
for caskets to roll in and out of it
the lights, walls, and carpets were all bright
why do they even try in a place like this...
the priest has arrived...he’s now in sight
I was pulled along so I wouldn’t miss...

he with his white collar and black suit
held his bible in his hand to speak
"long john", was father jack...his speech wasn’t loose
talking of the diseased gone to god...to seek....
then it was over and time to go home...
my last glimpse ever of that woman I love
I hugged everyone before I left that small dome..
and prayed that my aunt would be sent up above..