We’re all here at the Bronze... Or Well I was here already for my scotch quota of the day. After a couple of drinks, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought it was some security guard telling me I’ve had enough and kicking me outa there... It’s happened before... but.. it is a girl’s hand... neways... I started to complain.. why kick ME out if there are other people who are way worse than I am right now... WAIT there are no female security guards here.. then???.


>Faith?

>Oh! It was you B!

>Yup

>Aw!... I was having a little trouble finding out whose hand this was... I say while I take B’s hand into mine.

>Well It would have been easier if you had just turned around.

>Now that you mention it, yeah probably.


She hasn’t let go off my hand yet, which is real surprising because knowing B you’d .... WAIT! Correction, she just let go of my hand it was weird, because she was all happy smiling at me then suddendly it was like she just noticed we were actually holding hands, so she pulled away real violently and backed away looking nervously at the floor... I wonder what did she do that for... it is not like we were doing something bad.


>B! You ok? I don’t bite

>Um.. yeah I know you don’t

>Well... unless you asked me to do so. In whcih case I’d be honore.... I was smirking at her when she cut off... Jeez this kid has got real bad temper.

>Please Faith do not start with that now.

>Huh? Sorry B!, but you know that I am like that and that it is just a game... You’ve never complained before. Sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.

>I.. I.. I’m not offended Faith, it is just that I.. Nevermind ok? The guys are waiting for us, let’s go.

>Ok!


She holds my hand again.. I suppose in order to make me go faster... But inmediatly she kind of realizes again what she is doing and once again, she pulls away violently and speeds up... I don’t really know what is it with her ....


>Hey Faith..

>Guys!

>You want something to drink.

>No Red, I’m fine but maybe B wants something.

>Buffy...

_______

>Buffy...?

>Uhmm Whu... Hi Wills!

>You want a drink? Me and Tara are getting drinks for all of us and Faith thought you might want someth....

>Faith??? What the hell does she know about me??????...She doesn’t even know what my middle name is... it is imposs...


>Anne!

>Aw Sorry Miss Perfect.... but you done speaking for me already?

>Yo! Chill...

>Yeah Whatever


And she walks away.

________________________________________________________________________________

And I walk away.... I don’t really know what is it with me right now... but it is so annoying to be near Faith lately... I don’t know why.... OK OK! .... I do know why... well... kind of.... and I hate her so for that.... I hate her for being so wonderful and having made me fall in love with her... Danm I shouldn’t hav...


>Buffy?

>Huh?... Oh Tara.. Hi!

>What happened....

>Nothing why?

>You’re crying...

>I’m not... It’s just....

>...a piece of garbage that entered in my eye... I know you’re crying Buffy you don’t have to hide it... but something is wrong here... you are never like this... anything it is... you can tell me.

>Nah Uh!.... you won’t understand.

>Why not... Oh.... Guy problems.... Buffy... I would... really

>That is the problem Tara... there is a problem, but there is no guy.

>Oh you mean other kind of problems... with Dawn perhaps...

>No... what I mean.... it is the kind of problem you have with a guy... only that this time... there ain’t no guy.

>Aw! That kinda problem....

>So... yeah I have fallen in love with a girl... 

>You see.. I could understand that.

>I know but that is not the problem.

>Then??

>I have fallen in love with Faith...

>Oh I see...

>Yeah... I know what you are thinking.... but I don’t know... we were like friends... and it was so cool to hang out with her.... even if I said she was annoying all the time... I mean... it was real fun... and you know how she always teases me... well we’ve come to a point where I wish she weren’t just teasing me but speaking facts... I don’t want just to fool around with her... you know... she is drunk all the time... and it’d be hella easier for me... but I, even if I don’t wanna admit it... I have fallen in love with her.... and now I can’t even be around her no more... cos the second that goes by.. the more I love her.

>But don’t cry Buffy.

>I have to... cos for one. This is wrong.... imagine what Giles would say... and well. The main one... I know she doesn’t LOVE me like I love her.

>Have you asked her?

>C’mon Tara... you know that there is no need to be a mind reader nor a genius to tell Faith doesn’t love me... or LOVE anyone... the day she does... or says she does... well that day... I’ll be the president of the country.

>Oh don’t be like that... 

>You see.. there is nothing else you can tell me coz you know it is the truth..

>I don’t know the girl real well... so I cannot say anyting about her... but really I insist you should ask her... and if you want her to have feelings for you... you won’t get them by yelling at her and treating her like trash.

>Y’Know...

>Then....

>Ok... ok... I’ll go back inside... But don’t say nothing to Willow.

>Hey it seems you don’t know me... course I won’t

And I go back inside.







>B!... are we patroling today.

>If you can stand up after so many drinks... yeah we are.

>I can.

>neways... I need to go to the bathroom

>ok.


And once again... I walk away.... DAMN it is like I just can’t be around her... everytime she looks at me with those two dark eyes... and smiles at me with those lips.... Fuck I can’t do this..... I have to... But is is completely impossible... I feel like getting closer and hugging her... but I can’t. I can’t.... 



*knocking at the door*


>Yeah?

>Uhm.... excuse me Miss... but there is a line waiting for you to come out... are you gonna take long.

>No, No... I was about to go out... sorry.


And as I open the door... I see there IS really a line waiting for me to go out... it is about 10 people... Jeez.... these people.






>Hey Buffy... You wanna dance?

>Uhmm... Sure Chris.

>You look sad.

>I’m not... 

>Oh ok.

__________________________________________________________________

B’s dancing with some guy... haven’t seen him before... she’s got good taste... he’s cute... she still looks sad though... I wonder what is it with her.. I wish I could do something... but I know she won’t tell me... so I won’t even bother myself by asking her what is wrong.

It is like I can’t approach the girl no more... before we used to hang out and stuff.. she’s always been my friend... but back on those times... I would have said I was her friend too.... It feels like I have betrayed her or something.... whatever she wants to tell me... she does it by the scoobies or something... and she tries her best to talk to me the less possible.... but what is weird... is for example today... she held my hand and we were like talking normally... then it is like she realizes there is something wrong and walks away... or starts trating me bad.

It is not like I am not used to be treated in a bad way.... it is just that.... she was so cool... and things were so perfect.... that I fell in love with the girl... DAMN... I used to live happy with my unspoken love... I was jealous everytime she was with someone just as I am jealous right now that she is dancing with that guy... but when we were alone, talking, or patroling, or anything... it was like everything else didn’t matter... it was like... no one else but the two of us existed.

Now this is breaking my heart... Yeah.. I had a heart deep inside....I can’t take this no more.... I hate myself for having done that thing to her.. even if I don’t know what the fuck it is.. I still hate myself... she’s not like that with anybody else... only with me... she doesn’t even look at me in the eye when we talk anymore... and I miss her so... I know I see her everyday... but I miss the real B. I miss the B that I love... she’s hidden, she hid her.... she hid her so I don’t see her no more... she doesn’t want me around her... she took the only thing I have ever loved in a real long time... away from me... and it breaks my heart.... not even liquor can make up for it anymore... back then... only being at her place would make up for it... only talking with her, only smelling that wonderful perfume she uses, would make up for it... but now.... absolutely nothing does... I killed Buffy... now Buffy is killing me... I don’t know what I did to her... but whatever it was... it is so bad that she doesn’t want me around her no more... it is ok.. B... I’ve understood the message. You won’t have me around you no more.... It’ll fucking kill me inside... so much that probably I would die for reals... but I love her and clearly the girl is not happy with me around... so I’ll leave her... I’ll go somewhere else... and my memories will make up for her... for not having someone I have never had no more.... but I have to let her know I’m leaving... she doesn’t want me to talk to her... so I’ll just leave a note... and leave tomorrow’s afternoon... maybe I could come back in a couple of years... It is not like I am gonna stop loving her in that time... It is not like I am gonna stop loving her... I will never stop loving this beautiful hazel-eyed girl... that was the only one among everybody else... that could break the ice inside me... and showed me love... never loved me back... I know that is too much to ask... but.. she did...show me love.... so I’ll give her what she wants as reward. I will leave.



>Faith?

>Oh Hi B!

>We gonna go patroling...

>Sure.



And we walk out of the place to go patrol

________________________________________________________________________________

And we walk out of the place to go patrol..... she’s right here next to me... I can smell her cologne... I can see her when she licks her lips... I can’t do this... I can’t just be here and pretend everything is ok... I won’t... ok... so I will assume my actions... Tara is right.. she doesn’t deserve being treated bad... especially when she has been this wonderful to me.


Ok! Then it is Monday, 10:48 pm.... ok.... one week to make up my mind... I KNOW, I KNOW I AM SUCH A WUZZ... but I need time... this is not the easiest thing I have to do.... I know she doesn’t love me back... but still I have this twisted neccesity to tell her what is going on.


I know things will change if I do so... but still... I kinda have to, Tara is right... HEY!... YEAH... maybe I can ask Tara to tell me how she turned Wills gay.... mayb...



>Um... B! I know you don’t like to be disturbed but... a vamp is right in front of you.

>Uhm... WHAT?!?!?!

Ok!.... I move forward... grab the punk’s head and kick it... he kicks back... ok... he plays hard to get... ok, we fight a little... and YUP!!! I just staked him... woo hoo!! You rock Buffy.


>You rock B!

>Huh?

>Sorry... I had to say that... hey... it is better for me to go I think... got a lot to do tomorrow...

>But...



She just walked away.

________________________________________________________________________________

I just walked away.

I shouldn’t have tell her she rocks... but it kind of sliped out... couldn’t help it... neways... let’s work on the note... it’ll be simple.. cos probably she’d be annoyed by reading it too... but I have to.




Hi B!

You already know who this is... no one else calls you B... and I’ll kill the next bastard that tries to do so.. only I call you that... and well...hopefully you’ll remember me everytime you hear that letter.

Yeah... B!,... I am leaving.. I have noticed you don’t want me around you anymore... I don’t know what I did to you... but whatever it was... believe me I hate myself more than you for it... I want to apologize for my betrayal... and also tell you I’ll never forget about you... and probably in a couple of years... when you don’t remember me no more... I’ll come back to check out how is life treating you... I know life will treat me bad... but I am used to already...

Anyways.... This sounds absolutely nothing like me... but it is me... the real me.. if you know what I mean... I hope someday... I can get to hear from the real you again...

Take care... and kick ass... 




Faith!






Ok! It is 9:00 am and I’ve got all my stuff ready... I don’t see why to put it off no more... It is not like I will gain something by it... so.. ok... I’ll grab the note, my stuff and hit the road... this place was cozy though.. neways... I’ll miss it all... I’ll miss them all... but I gotta do what I gotta do.








I know at B’s door... wait for a while.. hope someone’s home...


>Yeah?

>D?

>Oh Hi Faith... come in

>No... I am kinda in a hurry here... thanks anyways.

>Yo I can see.. what’s up... with all the stuff... where ya going...

>L.A. for a couple of days.. and then... I dunno.. wherever the wind takes me.

>You coming back right?

>Yeah... sure I am... Ok! I am lying to her.... worked so far...

>Oh ok... 

>So where is B?

>In the shower... gonna wait for her?

>Nope... just give her this...

>Ok... I will... 


And she hugs me... MAN it is like she somehow knew I am not coming back.


>Bye D! Take care...

>You too Faith...

________________________________________________________________________________

Someone knocked the door... I wonder who it is.... early for that.. 

I enter the kitchen... they are sitting down eating breakfast... WAIT... 9:00 and Dawn sitting down eating breakfas... Oh I am gettin this lil.... OH... HOLIDAY!!! Calm down... 


>Hi Buffy...

>Hey you....


>Buffy...

>Yes Dawn?

>Faith came?

>Oh really?????? Where is she...

>She just left.

>Ok that is weird..

>I dunno, it was all weird.... She left this for you...


She hands me a piece of paper... I sit next to Tara, and I open it.




Hi B!

You already know who this is... no one else calls you B... and I’ll kill the next bastard that tries to do so.. only I call you that... and well...hopefully you’ll remember me everytime you hear that letter.

Yeah... B!,... I am leaving.. I have noticed you don’t want me around you anymore... I don’t know what I did to you... but whatever it was... believe me I hate myself more than you for it... I want to apologize for my betrayal... and also tell you I’ll never forget about you... and probably in a couple of years... when you don’t remember me no more... I’ll come back to check out how is life treating you... I know life will treat me bad... but I am used to already...

Anyways.... This sounds absolutely nothing like me... but it is me... the real me.. if you know what I mean... I hope someday... I can get to hear from the real you again...

Take care... and kick ass... 




Faith!





>WHAT ?!?!?!?!?!??! .... no no no... you won’t leave.... I don’t want you here... but I want you here....

>Huh?!?!?!?... they all say in unisone...

>Tara knows what I mean.... and that is why you are coming with me

>ok!



>Buffy are you ok..

>Obviously not.... Duhh!.... did Faith tell you where she is going?

>I dunno... I think so.. But I don’t remember.


I start choking her... she is even gasping for air


>Still nothing??

>Wait.. yeah... but AIIIIIIIR

>Ok Ok!...... And I let go off her.

>Jeez Buffy you almost kill me..

>So?... you telling me or what

>Ok Ok!... she said she was going to L.A. for a couple of days and then to...


>Tara... let’s go to the train station.

>Ok.



*Door Slam*





We’re here at the train station... Man I’m desperade... Tara tells me to calm down.... but I can’t... ok ok...


>Uhm... excuse me miss.... the train that leaves for L.A.

>Two minutes to leave... all passengers already inside...

>Crap!!! What do I do Tara... TARA????



>Buffy... over here.

>Oh I thought you were lost or something..

>No... the train goes in a minute... you gotta hurry up

>But I have no ticket.... Damn... And I sit down in the floor

>Yeah you do.... 


And she hands me a ticket...


>Thanks Tara I love you... tell Dawn that I’ll...

>GO NOW!!

>ok.... where

>GATE 17







Ok..... almost didn’t make it... Phew!!... ok, I am inside.... I only have to look for her... And what am I gonna tell her??? .... hey Faith... uhm... why don’t ya stay?... Uhm no... won’t work.... what about... hey Faith I am he...



>Excuse me Miss, you have to sit down.

>Oh... sorry.... And I sit down.





>B?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

>Oh... You...um... Hi... I... Me....

>Shhh... I don’t understand you, you gotta calm down first.

>I can’t...

>You gotta... ok! Step by step, why are you here sitting next to me in a train that is going to L.A.??

>Well... there is a couple of things I have to tell you Faith.

>I think so, yeah...

>Shall I start?

>Sure.. go ahead.

>Ok!

>I dunno where to start... I mean... Sure this is supposed to be the easiest thing to say... but not for me... you know B! Always so stupid sometimes.

>You ain’t stupid B!

>Yeah I am... and I am gonna tell you why just right now.... listen Faith.... I’m gonna go back to the beggining to say this... well... when I met you... I dunno you were cool and all... and it was cool to hang out with you... it all started like some kind of friendship... I mean Wills is my friend... but you are a slayer too... and sometimes you know what’s up with me more than her.... And the thing is Faith that I liked actually to hang out with you.

>you liked?... so you don’t no more... then why are you here.

>Let me go on... ok.. I liked it.. I liked it till the poing I started to liking it way too much to be cool with it..... I couldn’t handle it no more Faith.

>They still why are you here then??

>Can’t you see I am having trouble saying something here Faith.... this ain’t easy to say..

>Just say it as it comes... 

>Ok! But promise me you won’t move.

>Huh?... why... um... ok.

>Listen Faith... 

I say as for the first time in a long time look at her right into her eyes... I hold her hands... and sit facing her... she does the same thing and faces me... I put her hair behind her ear and rest my hand in her neck.

>I dunno when this happened... but I know what this feels like, I can handle this no more... I dunno when but somehow I fell in love with you.. won’t deny it... It friggin makes me hate you for that... I hate you... for being so wonderful... for being you... for teasing me.... for making me feel dumb, for making me laugh at things I would have never laughed at before... I hate you... because I love you and you will never love me back... This is twisted... but still in the moment I heard you were leaving... I felt like you were taking a part of me with you... my heart... I love you... and you wanna know why I started treating you bad, why I started avoiding you, why I stopped looking at you in the eyes... coz I love you... and I wanted somehow to stop loving you... coz it breaks my heart and makes me angry everytime I see you and feel like throwing my arms around you... and kiss you.... And everytime you FUCKING tease me... it is worse... cos I wish you weren’t just playing some junior high stupid game... and would be saying what you feel for me... I feel like kissing you, like being with you everytime... and I am tired to hold it back, I can’t this is too hard for me... and I would have said leave... it is better, that way I’ll forget about you... but girl... it is a lie... I won’t... and I am sorry that you don’t feel the same way... but I just had to tell you this... I don’t really know why... or Wait....maybe if someday you are off guard and I kiss you.. you won’t be surprised... and mayb....

>Just shut up and kiss me B!

>huh? Whu-wha... you... all the time... and, I... Me...

>Again with that?.... ok.. you want blabbing?... ok! I won’t say much.. coz you know... I never do... but this is the thing.. you showed me love... and I love you more than anything I have ever love in my shitty life... I didn’t matter having to share you with the ton of guys that were with you... even if they were the ones who got to be with you... but it was ok... because at some point... there was a time when we were both, together.... talking or just watching the grass grow... and it was just you and me... and that moment made it all worth it.. then... I dunno why. There were no more me and you moments... and you started treating me like I had killed someone... or like I had betrayed you.... and it became all bad and worthless.. so I wanted you to be happy and decided to leave... 

>Fuck, so you felt the same way about me

>Hell Yeah B!

>Can I kiss you..

>Sure you can.

________________________________________________________________________________

>Sure you can.

We started kissing, and fuck the girl really knows how to do it... this is wonderful, I choked her hair, kissed her neck... also left a spot.. I had to, couldn’t really help it... and we’ve been holding hands and facing each other the whole trip... it ain’t exactly what I was dreaming of.. but you know... it is B!... so romantic and all... I gotta take it though.. came along with the package... and well... I am glad it all turned out this way witho...


>Faith?

>baby?...

>I love you...

>I love you too

>What the hell are we gonna do in L.A.?

>Woops!.... I dunno.






End!!!

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