My smile definitely fades, and a tear slides down my cheek when I see she's kissing some guy. I should just turn back around and forget I ever thought I was going to forgive Faith, but I want her to know I was going to forgive her and that I saw her, I want her to know.

I stop and wipe away a few tears off my eyes. How stupid can one person be? Faith, being honest? Being sorry? Caring about me? Yeah right… 

The guy gets off the car mad and goes away without even looking at her. I don't know who the hell he is, she must know. She gets off the car too, and I am close enough to make her jump with my voice. "I forgot my bag and my stake", I say mad.

She gives me one of her cocky shrugs, looks at the floor and says "Shit B!, this.. this is not what.. what you are thinking… I… him.. we…

I am so mad at myself right now. Stupid lady, I really thought this could be different "I don't care alright? Just open the trunk so I can get my stuff back"

"B.. I"

"Faith, I have no time for this ok? Give me my things, and after that, the car is yours. I don't care what the fuck you do with it, or inside it for that matter"

She tries to explain herself helplessly and uselessly "Buffy, I…

"Just open it ok?"

She opens the trunk, I get my stuff and walk away with tears in my face she hopefully doesn't see. How stupid can one person be? "Goodbye" I say as I walk away.





[Chapter 8]


I don't want to go back to the train station. The lady is there and I honestly don't want to see her because I would have to explain that there's no way Faith could change and that this is as good as it is going to get. I go back to the park, however, and sit in one bench. Everything is so fucked up now. I hate myself for this. This is exactly why I didn’t want to forgive Faith, because I knew that sooner or later, she'd hurt me again. And I love her, that I can't deny. It wouldn't hurt as much to see her with some guy if I didn't. Regardless of the fact that she does that all the time, it always hurts. I feel like I'm being slapped right in the face, and yet I dare to offer my hand to her again, so she takes it and pushes me to the floor once again. I wish things were different. I don't like being hurt, it is just that Faith and I can connect in a way no one else can. She understands me, she knows what I keep unsaid, she knows me. I can't hide from her. Yet she is an idiot, and I hate her. I hate her guts, I will never understand her ways. I need to…

"B, I mean… Buffy, can we please talk?"

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by her. I don't want to answer, but she is right in front of me. "We have nothing to talk about" I say looking at the floor.

"Yes we do"

"About what, for example?"

"First, uhm… could you let me explain that nothing actually happened between me and that guy?"

I close my eyes, let out a sigh, and shake my head "Faith, I don't care about your sex life. I have never cared, I don't see why I should now" It's a lie, but I must show my tough side now.

"B Please, it's not what you think, it..

I interrupt her mad "Faith, please understand, I DON'T CARE. You got it? I don't care. Now please, don't make this harder for me. I've had enough of this already, I've had enough of you already, Faith. I can't stand having to confront you right now after this. It is none of my business, it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't feel weird, I shouldn't feel like crying, I shouldn't…

"But you are B, and I'm sorry… I

"IT'S NOT ENOUGH BEING SORRY. You're always sorry. You do something, sorry; you kill someone, sorry; you hurt someone, sorry. It is not enough Faith, I have given you too many chances, and I can't believe I was so about to give you one more"

A tear falls down her cheek as her eyes look at the floor. It's been so long since I saw her crying. "You were really gonna?"

"Yes Faith, or what? Did you think I only wanted my clothes?"

"Can you still give me a chance Buffy? Please?"

"Faith, it is not that simple. I wasn't even sure if I could actually forgive you"

"But I love you"

"It doesn't matter. I can't. You'll betray me again. I know you will"

"I won't"

"YOU DID JUST RIGHT NOW. For God's sake Faith, how much time did it go by? Thirty minutes? Forty? An hour? You will Faith"

"But I didn't do it Buffy. I couldn't, I wanted, yeah, but I couldn't. I was thinking of you. I can't get you off my head. I CAN'T. I don't want either. I …

"I don't know Faith" I sob "Don't do this to me, you're ripping out my heart right now. You're hurting me more than ever…

She interrupts me, sitting down in the same bench I am, right next to me "But you said you don't care about me and I…

"And I bet you've said exactly the same, hundreds of thousands of times, but the difference is that I actually do, Faith" I mumble "I love you"

"WHAT?" She open her eyes widely. 

"Are you really that dumb?"

"I…" 

She breathes heavily and leans in, in order to kiss me, but I pull back and stop her face with my hands "You're misunderstanding this Faith. I can't do this. I don't know yet if I actually can forgive you Faith..

"But you told me you were about to…

"I know, but things happen for a reason" I shrug "Maybe, this is not right, maybe we're not meant for each other"

"But I didn't mean to be with that mother fucker" 

"Yet, you did"

"BUT I AM SORRY… I'M SO SORRY. Please don't leave" She holds my wrist while I stand up.

"I love you too" I close my eyes, let out a sigh, and kiss her forehead.

I stand up, give my back to her, and start walking. She stands up after me and says "Buffy, please…

"Don't, just don't… If you love me, you'll let me go…

"But I… " She sobs.

"Thank you" I say as I realize that she's not following me anymore. I turn around to see her, and she's sitting in the bench, with her face on her legs. "I really do love you Faith, I swear I do"

She doesn't answer. She's crying… I'm crying too, but I go… I turn around again, and leave.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

[Faith]



B left, she left again, she left forever. She left a hole in my heart, she left me wounded. I understand now, all the damage I did to her. It hurts so much I don't even want to be here. She says that she loves me, that she really loves me, but I don't raise my head to answer. I just stay in here, trying to turn back time, only that I can't. DAMN YOU BUFFY!!!! Why couldn't you make up your mind a little earlier? I wouldn't have fucked up again. I fucked up. Maybe she's right. She knew I'd betray her again, maybe she's too perfect for me. Maybe I…

"Just give her time"

HUH? I jump… "whu… what?"

It's Cordelia's voice, I didn't recognize it. "She… 

"She left" She says sitting by my side

"Well DUH! I know that. She said that.. that… that she loved me"

"We all do somehow Faith, you're not alone"

"NO, but she loved me. Like… like… like I do"

"Maybe you're misunderstanding thin…

"NO, SHE TOLD ME DAMN IT!" I say, rising my head and finally looking at her. "how did you find me?"

"Well, I may not have slayer sight, but your slutty cologne can be traced from over a mile away from here"

She makes me laugh, and I slap her softly in the arm… "You recommended me that cologne Cordelia"

"Oh, shut up" she says, slapping me in the head playfully. "I saw the car over there, and I figure out you'd be in the park.

I stand up, wiping away the tears. Let a very deep sigh, and say "I have to make up my mind. I have a lot of shit inside, and I need to think"

"I know…" Cordelia says "Let's go home, I bought the whipped cream you asked me for"

"GOD, I had forgotten about it" I say laughing.

"Uh, no, I didn't buy it. But it is always good to make you believe that I actually did"

"You got me there" I say faking enthusiasm.

"So, what do you say"

I sigh again, and play with my hands. "I can't Cordy. I need to think, a lot, I think I need to start over. To move on, to leave her alone, she doesn't deserve what I have done to her, you know?"

"Hey, why are you being like that?"

"Cause. Just… tell Angel, he's been great, and that I'll be calling him soon"

"Hey but…

I lean in, and give her a very quick kiss on the lips.

"HEY!" she says surprised.

I laugh. " Wasn't gonna go without a kiss from the homecoming queen" I wink my left eye to her. Then, I throw the key to Angel's house to her.

She doesn't know what to say "I…

"You guys have been great. I love you all. Specially you, you're a good friend, kinda bitchy and slutty, but at the end, deep down inside you're a great friend. I love you all, tell Angel I say thanks"

"Take care of yourself you dyke"

"Oh I will… I'll be calling you soon. And don't throw away that whipped cream, we might use it when I come to visit"

She shakes her head laughing. "You will never change, Faith"

"Bye" I say as I walk towards the car.

She knew it was better, so she stayed in the park. Once I got to the car, I start pushing it to some place where I can get a new battery and stuff, and I am waiting for the technician to finish changing the battery, and also 'water' the car, as B says.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

[Buffy]



….45 minutes after she left the park


*Knocking on the door*


"Yeah"

"Uhm, Cordelia?"




*Door Opens*




"Buffy? Hadn't you left?"

"Yeah, well… no… I mean yeah, or … just. Is Faith home?"

"FAITH? Why are you asking for her?"

"None of your business" I answer rudely "Now, can you please ask her to come outside"

"Buffy, she's gone"

My heart skips a beat "What do you mean she's gone"

"That she left"

"When? Why? Where did she go?"

"Uh.. I don't know, she left like half an hour ago"

My heart beats rapidly, as I feel very weird, like I just lost something "A.. are you sure you don't know where did she go?"

"She said she wanted to start over, I don't know where she is Buffy, I'd tell you if I knew"

"Yeah, thanks I guess" I say exhaling nervously. "I… I.. I gotta go"

"Aren't you going to talk to Angel?"

"Uh, maybe some other time… I need to.. I need to… I need to go" I sigh "Bye"

"Bye"


*Door Closes*

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