I feel sick, tired... I grab a book but I don't read it... later on, Angel is probably gonna send Cordelia or someone to check on me.. All the weeks the same... I am so fucking tired of faking a smile just for them.. I don't even know why I do it... if I could just tell them all to fuck off... But Angel is my only connection to Sunnydale and I can ask stupid Cordelia for information in between make-up talks... Long ago, she came saying that Buffy had died... she said that B killed herself cos her sister had a key for some shitty portal.. I dunno but at times I just think that she's tryna fool me... or perhaps she is just to stuped to hear something and then say it... but now that I think of Buffy... it wouldn't be completely crazy that she killed herself for a damn key... Weeks later than that... she came up saying that Red and her witchfriend had brought her back to life, so the chosen one is back In Sunnydale.. Gotta say that all that she says sounds a little stupid to me. It's a pitty that Angel can't come to visit me. with him I don't have to pretend a damn thing and probably he'd tell me things in a clearer way than the homecoming queen does... but that just ain't gonna happen, he'd burn himself out in his way here. Cordelia said also that Joyce had died as well... a shame cos Mrs. S... was the one who I liked the most.. she even let me borrow her lipstick.

Angel always sends Cordelia to tell me when I am gonna be liberated... she always repeats the same thing but at the end it's up to me whether I wanna tell them or not.. He wants me to go see him and that he wants someone to pick me up.. I wonder that if he is afraid that I may run away or if he just senses that I am gonna be freed tomorrow.. nobody else but people in here knows that. I was thinking if I should go see Buffy... Yeah... I think that yeah.. I'm imagining how mad she is gonna get.. she'll want to kill me again and I will laugh right at her face while she looks at me with those cold, dead eyes. Yep, I'm gonna go to Sunnydale o visit my old friend Buffy and I am taking tha vampire with me. Dead boy, so cute is gonna tell her that I am not the same that I have changed... Have I changed???? I don't know... I don't wanna think of it.. It's my nature and if they don't like who I am... they can go to hell... be my guests... But when I arrive, naive B is gonna feel so jelous cos it's me, her eternal rival, Faith who is right next to the love of her life... She's way too dumb to realize that every little thing that he does, he does it for her cos he is simply fucking in love with her... but she'll think it is for me... I love that about Buffy, she is so naive... she's got slayer's sight, slayer's strenght, slayer's everything but the brain and intuition, she has from a ten-year-old girl. Oh.. Buffy Buffy Buffy Buffy... So perfect Buffy... I think they couldn't have found two slayers more different than both of we are from each other. dumb Buffy, stupid Buffy, naive Buffy, so so FUCKING beautiful Buffy. I always tried to tell her that I feel atracted to her.. but she only thought I was playing around.. sure I was, just a little.. but on those games there was always lots of reality cos I just wanted to see what she would answer so one day... suddendly and BANG!! she was mine... but Buffy is more straight than a mother fucking ruler she is just as straight as... as... as... Fuck I don't know.. probably Cordelia.. but wait! getting yourself involved with Xander is not really heterosexual... But the thing is that B is too straight for that.. even if sometimes judging by the seductive way she looked at me or the way we always "accidentaly" touched each other. But that's something I gotta find out cos at the end you never know, perhaps when I'll find myself with the surprise that she is just as gay as the witch... and I find her with someone like Druscilla... since she seems to enjoy a lot vampires company, or probably with the witch herself.. but no that is not really likely to happen cos she's got herself a gurl already, and that is one less trouble I'll have to go through... I always thought that she liked Buffy too oh yeah... everybody liked Buffy.. even Giles EW!... we all wanted a little piece of Buffy to have in bed and masturbate today with... but despite that they all knew her from way long, it is me the one who had a stronger bond with Buffy... probably cos we both slayers or maybe cos I've been inside her and not literally... I've been Buffy.. I've had Buffy in all imaginable ways.. I've felt like her.. I've felt her, I slept in her bed, I have made Buffy come, I have lived her life... but it didn't really last long cos MOTHER FUCKER Red was there to screw up everything I come up with
once ag...


"FAITH!!"

"Whu.. What??"

"You Ok??? You're like absent"

"No, it's nothing I was too concentrated reading" Me? Concentrated? READING?? yeah right... But I just can't tell her. you see I was thinking of the other slayer and the time we traded bodies, so I lie to her and she seems to believe me...

"Aw... it's nothing really.. just that lately... no, just.. nevermind"

And here we go again... Two years sharing the same cell and she still can't say what is on her mind.. I've never met someone so shy.. specially in Jail... "No Jessica, go ahead tell me"

"It's stupid probably, but you've been acting very strange lately... and well you are gonna be freed tomorrow and you don't seem happy bout it, not even a little.. and not to judge but most of people here would be jumping out of happiness if they were going to be freed the next day"

"It is just that my time is not over yet" I lie to her

"And that should make you even happier.. they're releasing you for good behavior... that says a lot about you Faith"

Ironic huh? Good behavior, who would have thought.... "Yeah I guess" I say faking a smile to her

"I.. I'm going.. to miss you Faith. It won't be the same when you are not here"

"Don't worry, it'll all be five by five" I say while I lay my head again in the cell's cold wall.



I hear her say "Yeah I guess" But I don't answer anymore... I feel bad for her, she was the closest thing to a friend I had in here.. when she got her she was put in my jail cos they trusted me with my 1 year of good behavior record so I protected her from any mother fucking bitch that woud try to rape her or abuse her... I did it firts I dunno if it was cos I felt bad for her or I wanted to feel superior to anybody else... I love it when people speak behind my backs and when they are fucking afraid of me but then I just got used to it and well now that I'll be gone who will protect her? Not that I would stay for her either but I guess I am just a little concerned. but either way I just don't wanna think about it... I wanna sleep..

"J, If someone comes by to visit me.. tell the officer I am not feeling well and that I don't wanna be awakened"

"You are feeling sick?"

"No, I am just tired but I don't really wanna talk to anybody.. I'm sleepy"

"You were up all night yesterday thinking right?" "Faith?" "Faith?" .. "Did you fall asleep so soon?"

"______"





.... The Next day....



"my God, FAITH!!!"

"What the.... You fucking scared me Kid"

"I thought you had passed away"

"Huh? why?"

"I had never seen anyone sleep 16 hours in a row"

you had never seen a slayer.. "Aw that!"

"The thing is gonna start in 45 minutes Faith... you gotta be there in half an hour"

"Aw ok!" I say while strecthing out off my bed...



I get out of my cell and go to the showers... I have nothing else than my leather pants, boots, my usual white tank top and a jacket... so to hell with whatever they said about attending the damn ceremony in formal clothes.. Yeah right... they are really stupid.. we all only have the clothes we came here with... it is not like before coming here we dropped by Gucci's or Verssace's so they could make us a suit for the day we were gonna be liberated... but I don't give a damn... at the end in some minutes I'll be fucking out of this damn hole... I wonder what it is like outside... I wonder if it has changed.. my only link to the exterior world was Cordelia and she has definitely changed... she claims now to be a seer and she has an
ugly short hair cut... I dunno, one day I told her.. Oh Cordy,,, I love your hair so short and BANG! next week she had it cutted.. so then I came up with something I told her that she had the sexiest legs I had ever seen and I waited anxiously those seven days.. and yeah next week she came with an overcoat so I don't see her legs... man that was so fun... but it only lasted two weeks cos after that she started getting used to my jokes and she wouldn't even blush anymore... I don't really know how I got to such a friendship state with her.. at first she'd only come muttering and saying Angel asked me to come and see if you are ok... Are you ok? I'd say yes and they she'd say alright.. and leave... but one day I felt like bugging someone and I knew it would certainly bug her so when she said You ok? I said it depends... on what? she replied and I said.. If I am accompanied by such a beautiful girl like you well I am more than ok but if I am alone I'm not.. She was already standing up in order to leave and I was all smiling when suddendly she sat back down and started to asked me if I liked gurls... I said sometimes... some girls... and then she started to ask if I liked Buffy cos it seemes something morbid but curious to her.. Of course I denied it at all times but then I dunno how the hell she got the information from me and knew that I was lying and that I definitely fell something for B... after that out of the blue she forgot that she hated me and started to come every week with her crappy love tests and I gotta admit that she made me laugh often and well that way she started a search so she find out if me and Buffy had really something (Yeah right) and I started asking C for information... and that is how we kinda became friends...

Already Nine thirty and when I go to the room the damn ceremony has already started and surprisingly every other intern is wearing formal clothes I just asked one of them and she said that the visitors of yesterday had brought clothes for the gurls... I had told nobody so they didn't bring anything either... the director is talking now.. it looks more like a graduation thing than what it really is... so pathetic but I don't care cos in just a moment I'll be fucking away from here...

Half hour of blabbing has gone by already.. and now they're calling each one by their names they say goodbye and go away.. 19.. 20... 21... My turn... I say goodbye... just not to seem unpolite, I walk.. the gates close behind me.. and I am the hell out.. I feel a little stuped though... so much scandal just to tell me that they're freeing people cos they need more space on the frigging jail... so they are freeing the ones who "behave better" but I don't give a damn flying fuck as long as I am out of that shit hole... Now I need to go slaying... no wait!.. it's too early for vamps to be outside.. so I'll have to wait till is dark, but most importantly I gotta get myself some stakes... There is something hard on my back pocket.. is it a letter... a card.. yeah... The Mayor's card... I still remember the code.. 4563... so the first thing I gotta do is get to an ATM.. I've been wondering for a thousand ninety nine days if my money is still there and I am not gonna be wondering any more... I walk slowly and I find a 10-dollar bill in my jacket pocket, I grab it and go to the nearest store.


"Morning Miss"

"Yo"

"What can I do for you"

"For me nothing, but for my money you could send me a pack of red Marlboros, a lighter... the black one and a bar of Joy Almond"

"ID?"

"What? Don't you think I am a little grown to be younger than 18?"

"It's the rules miss"

"Whatever" I say while I put the damn ID in the counter... He reads my name aloud, then my birth date and then he gives me the damn cigarettes... so much scandal for so little..

"Thanks for choosing my store"

"Chill boy... it was the nearest store.. it is not like I came all the way from Boston just to buy a pack of ciggies in your store.. but whatever.. Bye"



I put the cigarette in my mouth, light it and smoke... "Holy shit... it was so long since I didn't do this... " I sit on the floor.. I bite my chocolate.. "It's amazing how much I missed this stupid stuff"... then I remember the card, start walking towards the ATM.. I have walked a lot.. it has to be around here... uhm... turn the corner.. Yep! there it is... I walk there but there is a damn line... I wait... 3 people left, 2... 1.. I'm up... I put my card.. and "WHAT?!?!?!" the damn thing spits it... I put it inside the hole and again.. it spits it... now I am angry I kick the machine but nobody notices.. hopefully cos I don't wanna be the first dumb to return to Jail a few minutes after she's been released.. I try again.. FUCK! it spits it again... OK! I don't give a fuck I am soooo gonna destroy this stupid thing... I'm about to kick it.. when I see an arm pass right in front of my eyes taking my card away.


"What the fuck?"

"Uh.. sorry ma'am.. but the card's backwards" he says turning it to the right way again...

"Uh.. sorry ma'am.. but the card's backwards" I say sticking my tongue out of my mouth... but he doesn't listen so I say "Thanks" acidly... now... savings.. credit... and print... and WOO HOO!! my money is so fucking there.. I can't really believe my beloved fortune is still there ... ok now I just $500 to supply myself and I walk away absently...

I smile when I find out where I am.. I am standing only 3 blocks away from dead boy's place and I don't know whether to go or not... I dunno.. perhaps I should... yeah.. besides I have nothing more interesting to do for a while.. and I am so hungry I'd eat a whole horse and I am so not spending my money in that when I can get it for free.. So I walk... and I knock the door.. a little box answers me


"Yeah?"

"Is Angel there?"

"Yeah, come up.." And the door opens... I push it and I go upstairs... When I get there... Cordelia sees me and her mouth drops open...

"My God Faith!... did you run away from Jail... is that why I couldn't find you yesterday???"

"I wish I had ran away.. they released me today for good behaviour"

"But you didn't tell us"

"Guess I forgot"...

"Sit down"

"Thanks... um... Is he here?"

"Yeah he's coming upstairs" She says pointing the stairs to the bassement and from here I can see a guy all dressed in black, OBVIOUSLY Angel... and right after him someone I can't recognize.. it is probably some person that comes to ask him for advice

"Angel someone's looking for you" Cordelia says standing in front of me so he doesn't see me...

"Who"

Cordelia walks to the right so he can see me and says "Faith"

Angel's mouth drops open and his face looks very pale.. YES! more pale than usual... and now I see why... The woman who was behind him walks to the right too and I am able to see her... "Bu.. Buffy?"

"Faith?"

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