Enemies

  Buffy:  "Well..."
Angel:  "Well."
Buffy:  "That was... very... artistic."

Buffy:  "Well, from the title, I thought it was about food."
Angel:  "Well, there was food..."
Buffy:  "Right.  Th-the scene with the... food."

Buffy:  "So, feel like getting some hot chocolate... or some cold shower?"

Angel:  "It's been a long time since I've been to the movies.  They've changed."
Buffy:  "A little scary.  And a little not, which is also scary."

Buffy:  "We can't actually do any of those things.  You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono."

Angel:  "Buffy, you don't have to worry about me."
Buffy:  "I just don't like to rub your nose in it.  Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from."

Angel:  "It feels nice just to feel."

Faith:  "Check out the lust bunnies."

Angel:  "I'll see you soon."
Faith:  "Don't worry, big guy.  Just keeping her warm for ya'."

Faith:  "The 'close but no cigar' deal with Angel.  I don't know if I could handle, you know, the way you're not handling it."

Buffy:  "Faith, when it comes to Angel, do me a favor... duck!"

Demon:  "Think about it.  Demon seeks Slayers -- highly unusual?"

Demon:  "Books of Ascension -- very powerful works, and I'm not talking about the prose."

Buffy:  "Not really looking to trade with a demon."
Demon:  "And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a problem.  I want cash, princess.  Five large for the whole set."
Faith:  "So you can buy -- I'm guessing here -- some skin care products?"

Demon:  "So, five G's?  What do you say?"
Faith:  "I think 'Die, fiend,' sums it up, wouldn't you say?"

Mayor:  "And what exactly did this demon look like?"
Faith:  "Demonic."

Mayor:  "I like good, positive 'up' thoughts.  If you failed me in that way, well, you know, replacing Mr. Trick was chore enough."

Mayor:  "There's nothing uncool about healthy teeth and bones."

Giles:  "Demons after money.  Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin?  No one has any standards anymore."

Buffy:  "Well, we have a winner."
Xander:  "And more importantly, two losers."

Xander:  "Are there any engravings I should know about?  Frolicking nymphs of some kind?"

Buffy:  "So Ascension possibly not a love-in."

Cordelia:  "I have something important to ask you."
Xander:  "Important?  Let's start calculating those odds, people."

Cordelia:  "I have a paper to write for English, and you're English, so I thought... what?  Is it so wrong to be getting an insider's perspective?"

Cordelia:  "I study best in a good restaurant... around eightish?  Think it over?"
Xander:  "And on the day the words 'flimsy excuse' were redefined, we stood in awe and watched."

Demon:  "You're tough in negotiations, and I respect that."

Demon:  "Original editions and everything.  Great condition.  Okay, it's a little worn on one spine, some slight foxing, but otherwise perfect."

Angel:  "It's okay."
Faith:  "No, it's a couple county lines over from okay, believe me."

Angel:  "Start from the beginning."
Faith:  "Mind if I skip past the 'Mom never loved me' part and get right to it?"

Faith:  "I don't wanna' get all twelve-steppy, but remember when you told me that killing people would make me feel like some kind of god?  I think I just came down to Earth."

Faith:  "It's not human, if that's what you're thinking.  Not that that makes me feel any better or this guy any less dead."

Mayor:  "I just don't understand what that boy could be thinking."
Faith:  "Try Buffy Summers, like in a big fat one-track way."

Mayor:  "So you couldn't give him that one moment of true happiness."
Faith:  "I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but okay."

Mayor:  "There's more than one way to skin a cat, and I happen to know that's factually true."

Wesley:  "Find anything?"
Giles:  "A six-course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod all as a palette cleanser."

Wesley:  "The Council isn't entirely aware that I'm letting you work for me."
Giles:  "..."
Wesley:  "Um... with me."

Wesley:  "I don't think they'd be very happy at the idea of the two of us collaborating."
Giles:  "Well, I wasn't about to burst into glorious song about it myself."

Wesley:  "Wait for Faith."
Buffy:  "That could be hours.  The girl makes Godot look punctual."

Wesley:  "Finding him's going to be extremely difficult."
Xander:  "Found your demon."
Buffy:  "Fashion tip, Wes, mouth looks better closed."

Buffy:  "You beat up Willy?"
Xander:  "Sure.  Well, actually, let's just say I applied some pressure, or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then--  Okay, I bribed him."
Buffy:  "How much?"
Xander:  "Twenty-eight bucks.  Does the Council reimburse for that kind of stuff?"
Giles:  "Did you get a receipt?"
Xander:  "Damn!"

Buffy:  "It's down by the bus station.  Not the nicest part of town."
Giles:  "Again, see?  No standards.  I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt."
Buffy:  "I'll remember to mention that."

Xander:  "Is it me, or did it just get really cold in here?"

Mayor:  "Well, scheduling a man of your talents is quite the chore, I'll tell you.  Between the chanting and the sacrifice, my golf game is shot."

Mayor:  "You're not much a people person, are you?"

Buffy:  "Faith would never do that."
Willow:  "Faith would totally do that.  Faith was built to do that.  She's the 'do that' girl."
Buffy:  "Comfort, remember?  Comfort here?"

Willow:  "I mean, please.  Does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy?  Let's see, is he breathing?"
Buffy:  "Actually, no."

Willow:  "Buffy, I, too, know the love of a taciturn man, and you have to look at their actions."
Buffy:  "I was."

Willow:  "No.  Go.  I give you leave to go."

Faith:  "Look, I'm not so good at apologies, mostly 'cause I think the world's out to screw me, so I'm generally more owed than owing."

Angel:  "It's good to have the taste of a Slayer back in my mouth.  It's like cigarettes, you know?  Just when I thought I'd quit..."

Angel:  "No, really, don't get up."

Faith:  "You wanna' be smart, you listen to me."
Angel:  "Funny thing about vampires, Faith...  We don't establish meaningful dialogue with Slayers."
Faith:  "Not how Buffy tells it."

Angel:  "I should've known you'd like it on top."
Faith:  "You wanna' listen, or you wanna' die?"
Angel:  "Heh heh.  As long as you're there, I mostly want you to wriggle...but I'm listening."

Cordelia:  "You have the greatest voice.  Have you ever thought about doing books on tape?"
Xander:  "Way to focus, CC."

Buffy:  "I'll go home and stock up on weapons.  Slip into something a little more break-and-enterish."

Cordelia:  "I'm in Wesley's group."
Giles:  "There is just the one group."
Cordelia:  "Yes, and I am in it."
Xander:  "And I think five's a crowd."
Cordelia:  "It really is."

Faith:  "So... can I keep him?"

Mayor:  "Now, then, Angelus... may I call you Angel?"
Angel:  "Well, actually, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me Master."

Mayor:  "You know, Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect."

Angel:  "Had a soul.  Now I'm free."
Mayor:  "That's terrific!  Poetic, too.  Not that I read much poetry.  Except for those little ones in the Reader's Digest.  You know, some are quite catchy."

Angel:  "Hey, I don't mean to rush things here, but are you trying to get to some kind of a point?"
Mayor:  "Heh.  Kids today.  Rush, rush, rush."

Mayor:  "I see you're admiring my letter opener."
Angel:  "Well, actually, I was thinking of stabbing you through the heart with it."

Angel:  "Hmm.  Can't be killed, but you don't like germs."
Mayor:  "Ew.  Awful things, unsanitary."

Angel:  "Well, gee, sir, I thought I'd find that Slayer that's giving you so much trouble and torture, maim, and kill her."
Mayor:  "Fine.  You know, it's nice to see you're not one of those slacker types running around town today."

Mayor:  "Torture Buffy.  Killing her's fine, just make it a slow one."
Angel:  "My favorite kind."

Mayor:  "Uh... try to have her home by eleven."

Mayor:  "She's not a little girl anymore."  (sniffles)

Xander:  "'I love when you talk, Wesley.  I love when you sing, Wesley.'  Can you say the words 'jail bait,' Wesley?  Limey bastard."

Angel:  "That guy just bugs me."

Joyce:  "Please tell me it's not some vampire thing."
Angel:  "The only vampire here is me, Joyce."

Buffy:  "What's the matter with you?"
Angel:  "Nothing.  Matter of fact, I haven't felt this good in a long time."

Angel:  "You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell."
Buffy:  "No..."
Angel:  "Yeah, and I'm just wondering, where do I start?  Card?  Fruit basket, huh?  Evisceration?"

Angel:  "Yeah, I know what you're thinking.  Maybe there's still some good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you, if only you could reach me.  Then again, we have reality."

Buffy:  "I will kill you before I let you touch me."

Buffy:  "Faith, we need to get out of here, now."
Faith:  "Speak for yourself, B.  Me?  I like it here."

Angel:  "One thing I learned about Buffy -- she's so cute when she's sleeping."

Cordelia:  "Hey, I know a way to make investigating the Mayor even more boring.  On second thought, no, I don't."

Willow:  "Whoa.  Big 'hey, whoa.'"

Willow:  "Wow.  Like father, like son."

Oz:  "How about like exact same guy, like exact same guy?"

Xander:  "I, uh, hate to spoil the mood, but this is so much worse than you think."

Xander:  "You know how some people hate to say 'I told you so'?  Not me.  I told you so.  Angel's back, in the really bad sense.  And, um, I told you so."

Wesley:  "Xander, this is terribly serious.  Are you sure?"
Xander:  "Gee, let me think... kinda' hard to tell.  Last thing I remember is his fist."

Wesley:  "We must contact Giles immediately."
Xander:  "Good thinkin'.  Let's waste time with a lively debate.  Leave Buffy alone, see how dead she gets."

Angel:  "You know what I just can't believe?  All of our time together, and we never tried chains."
Faith:  "Bondage looks good on you, B.  The outfit's all wrong, but hey..."

Faith:  "But Mom was so busy, you know, enjoying the drinking and passing out parts of life that I never really got what I wanted.  Until now."
Buffy:  "Faith, listen to me."
Faith:  "Why?  So you can impart some special Buffy wisdom?"

Buffy:  "You had to tie me up to beat me.  There's a word for people like you, Faith:  loser."

Faith:  "I'll be sittin' at his right hand.  Assuming he has hands after the transformation.  I'm not too clear on that part.  And all your little lame-ass friends are gonna' be Kibbles and Bits."

Faith:  "I'm the world's best actor."
Angel:  "Second best."

Buffy:  "May I say something?  Psych."

Giles:  "Thank you for coming to me and for that rather effective light show you put on."

Willow:  "His debt to you is repaid?  What did you do?"
Giles:  "I introduced him to his wife."

Willow:  "Graduation Day.  There's a big, scary un-fun."

Xander:  "I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a 'good' way.  It's a 'good' bruise."

Mayor:  "Well, you win some, you lose some.  From where I'm sitting, it's batting average that counts."

Mayor:  "Besides, you know, once the Ascension starts, the 'in crowd' you're so concerned about?  Whoo!  They'll be lucky if there's enough of them left to fill a pothole.  I promise."

Mayor:  "Still unhappy?  Hmm.  Okey-doke.  I've got two words that are gonna' make all the pain go away:  miniature... golf."

Angel:  "I know how hard it was for you."
Buffy:  "I really doubt that."

Angel:  "You still my girl?"
Buffy:  "Always."