Earshot

Buffy: "You demons can't resist a run & stumble, can you?"

Willow: "So scabby demon got away?"
Buffy: "Scabby demon #2 got away. Scabby demon #1, big check in the "slayed" column."
Willow: "I don't like this whole "no mouth" thing. It's disquieting."
Buffy: "Well, no mouth means no teeth... unless they have them somewhere else."

Buffy: "What do you know?"
Xander: "What DON'T we know. Tell her, Giles."

Giles: "...I've cross-referenced..."
Xander: "He's a cross-referencing fool."
Giles: "It's not the ritual flaying of the demon Azareth, nor the, um... I don't know what's going to happen."
Oz: "That was sort of an anti-climax."

Giles: "I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of the Ascension."
Willow: "Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?"
Giles: "Touche."

Willow: "Too bad you're patrolling, 'cause we're all going -- Oz, Xander, everybody."
Buffy: "Great. Everybody who isn't currently Buffy."

Giles: "You touched one of the demons."
Buffy: "A good touch, not a bad touch."

Giles: "Is this the demon in question?"
Buffy: "In the disgusting flesh."
Giles: "Hmm."

Giles: "It says they can infect the host."
Buffy: "Infect? Infect?! Giles! Infect??"

Buffy: "Is it me, or is this really lame?"
Oz: "I don't know -- I usually enjoy lame, but this is leaving me kinda cold."

Willow: "According to Freddy's latest editorial, 'The pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy, which, when thwarted, results in pointless athletic competition.'"
Xander: "And the down-side being?"

Willow: "The school paper is edging on depressing lately. Have you guys noticed that?"
Oz: "I don't know. I always go straight to the obits."

Willow: "What are you doing, Buffy?"
Buffy: "Nothing. Checking for horns!"

Xander: "Oh my god, he's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, Pierce-Brosny eyes all over my Cordy."
Oz: "You're a very complex man, aren't you?"

Angel: "Sorry."
Buffy: "It's okay. I didn't see you, so I should have known you were there."

Angel: "I mean, sometimes demons, they just exaggerate their power."
Buffy: "Demon hype."

Angel: "Hey, I love you. Even if you're covered with slime."
Buffy: "I liked everything until that part."

Oz: "It was intense."
Xander: "Yeah, for a minute there, I thought you were going to make an expression."
Oz: "Well, I felt one coming on, I won't lie."

Cordelia: "It was an incredible game. I've never cheered so hard in my life. I still have knee-marks on my back. //pause// From the pyramid?"

Willow: "Yeah, well, I still bet patrolling was way better, 'cause, wow, important."
Buffy: "Well, I thought I saw a four-legged demon. But it was just a dog."

Buffy: "Is this the thing? The aspect thing? 'Cause I gotta say, if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time as it is finding jeans that fit right."

Buffy: "When I walked by a few minutes ago, you thought, 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'"

Willow: "Buffy did the reading? Buffy understood the reading?"

Angel: "I've been with dozens of girls like her. More."
Buffy: "Oh, this honesty stuff is fun."

Angel: "A lot of things that seem strong, and good, and powerful -- they can be painful."
Buffy: "Like, say, immortality?"
Angel: "Exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that."
Buffy: "Funny."
Angel: "I'm a funny guy."

Oz: "I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist."

Xander: "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me!"
Buffy: "God, Xander, is that all you think about?"
Xander: "Actually? 'Bye!"

Wesley: "I am bad. I'm a bad, bad, man."

Oz: "No one else exists, either. Buffy is all of us. We think, therefore she is."

Oz: "If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead."

Buffy: "Guess I won't be writing that book, 'Winning Friends Through Telepathy.'"

Oz: "Are you sure they meant it?"
Xander: "Yeah, I mean, who hasn't just idly thought about taking out the whole place with a semi-automatic? //pause// I said idly!"

Xander: "I'm still having trouble with the fact that one of us is just going to gun everybody down for no reason."
Cordelia: "Yeah, because THAT never happens in American high schools."
Oz: "It's bordering on trendy at this point."

Buffy: "You had sex with Giles? You had sex with GILES?"
Joyce: "It was the candy. We were teenagers."
Buffy: "On the hood of a police-car?"
Joyce: "I'll be downstairs. You feel better."
Buffy: "Twice?!?"

Cordelia: "I think I should work with Wesley."
Xander: "You have no shame."
Cordelia: "Oh, please. Like shame is something to be proud of?"

Cordelia: "Hi, Mr. Beech. I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook."

Xander: "Okay, so turn-offs include smoking, insensitive men, and Birkenstocks."

Larry: "Man, I'm out. I'm so out, I've got my grandma fixing me up with guys."

Xander: "Today's editorial -- titled, 'Big game draws mindless, brain-dead mob.'"
Cordelia: "Does he mention the cheerleaders? Because we were ON."

Freddy: "You're not here about the review?"
Oz: "The review?"
Freddy: "Yeah. Last Thursday..."
Oz: "'Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump polish sausages taped to their fingers.'"
Freddy: "Sorry, man."
Oz: "No, it's fair."

Xander: "Can you hear thoughts? //Buffy shakes her head// Just when I wasn't thinking about sex!"

Xander: "Ooh, jello!"

Jonathon: "You think I just want attention?"
Buffy: "No, I think you're up here in a clock tower with a high-powered rifle because you want to blend in."

Buffy: "Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain."
Jonathon: "Oh, right. 'Cause the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler."

Jonathon: "I just wanted it to stop."
Buffy: "Yeah, well, mass murder? Not really doctor recommended for that kind of pain. Besides, prison? You know, it's a lot like high-school, only instead of noogies..."
Jonathon: "What are you talking about?"
Buffy: "Actions having consequences, you know, stuff like that."

Lunch-Lady: Vermin. You're all vermin! You come in here, and you eat, and you eat filth!"
Buffy: "I don't see this being settled with logic."

Willow: "So you're feeling better about Angel?"
Buffy: "Well, we talked. And then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me, and then we talked some more."
Willow: "See, that's how it should work."

Buffy: "It's nice to be able to help someone, in a non-slaying capacity. Except he's starting to get that look. You know, like he's gonna ask me to Prom."
Giles: "Well, it'd probably be good for his self-esteem, if you..."
Buffy: "Oh, come on, what am I, Saint Buffy? He's like three feet tall!"

Giles: "Feel up to some training?"
Buffy: "Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER."
Giles: //thud!//