Not much was going on, when suddenly the teacher said something that was highly unexpected and had absolutely nothing to do with derivatives of linear functions or the War of 1812. "Class," he stated in that monotone voice of his, "we're going on a field trip."

So unexpected was that statement that it even woke Karen from her happy dreams of Touga clad in naught but in, well… naught. Rubbing her eyes she mumbles to Becka, "Did he just say what I think he said?"

Becka sighs, "What do you think he said?"

Karen yawns, "Watch out for Wakaba's turnip?"

Not even bothering to conceal a snort and a large sweatdrop, Becka shakes her head, "Um… not quite. Not even close, Ka-chan. He said we're going on a field trip."

Bouncing to life, as only Karen can, the dark-haired girl begins to hop up and down with blatant fervor. "Field Trip! Field Trip!" She continued to sing song out the door and almost into the… Akio-Bus?

The teacher mumbles softly, "The Dean has allowed us the generous use of his CFM red school bus, complete with white leather interior designing."

Karen tries to back away, "I don't wanna' anymore…"

Undaunted, the teacher herds the class, including Karen, Becka, Touga, Saionji, Juri, Miki, Utena, Anthy, and a few random extras, onto the bus, which honks its horn seductively as each one gets on. Taking their seats, they can only cling to each other in fear as the Bus drives itself off to where ever it decides to take them.

In order to distract themselves from the subtle temptations of the Akio-Bus, Utena strikes up a conversation. "Does anyone know where we're going?" She glances at the teacher, who shakes his head and responds, "I'm simply acting on orders…"

At least, that's what he said. Anthy blinks in shock, "You're faxing us in as whores?"

Utena sighs and wonders why oh why Dios has put it beyond her nature to slap Anthy, and Juri simply mutters, "No, you baka, he said he's following orders…"

As no one knew quite how to respond to that, Miki did the only thing he could. He completely changed the subject. "My, it's a lovely day for a field trip… no matter where we're going…"

Touga nodded, "Quite so. And it's such a fine mode of transportation…" Smiling, he gently fingered the lovely interior leather which purred in content.

Saionji gawked at his red-haired friend, "Fine for -organ transplantation-?!"

Juri muttered softly, "Wonderful, I'm surround by a bunch of half-deaf idiots…"

"Juri-sama," Anthy looked faintly offended, "It's not nice to talk about the last chef on Ohtori campus like that!"

Before Juri could muster the restraint to answer without physically decapitating the purple-haired girl, they arrive at an ambiguous, unlabeled warehouse.

Undaunted by their bleak surroundings (and eager to get away from the rapidly disintegrating conversation, not unlike in a game of Whisper-Down-the-Lane), they all bolt from The Bus, which beeps happily and begins to circle the warehouse, awaiting their return.

They huddle together once more (not so much for protection as to get closer to Touga) and the teacher escorts them to file inside. As soon as they enter, they are surrounded by tall, towing, altogether imposing machinery, strange many-pronged devices, and several with seemingly useless free-floating tentacles. Confused, Miki speaks up, "Where are we?"

Juri answers him in a quiet voice, "You've never been here before, Miki? This is the factory which produces all duelist accessories. Our swords, rings, shoulder tassels, uniforms, teacups, and even those little Sword-of-Dios toothpicks that come with our lunches are made here."

"Ah, yes. I'd recognize those tentacles anywhere…"

All present back away from Miki, who blinks in confusion, wondering how the statement "Ah, yes. I was sent here one time to pick up those tassels we wear," seems to have such a powerful (and negative) effect on everyone. He questions, "What's wrong?"

Everyone else hears, "My thong!"

After a few more failed attempts at conversation, and after Miki has coined several interesting and anatomically impossible bodily functions, it becomes apparent that no one is going to be able to understand what any one else says so long as there is that loud noise coming from the machines.

Seeing as they couldn't do anything else, they eventually just gave in and kept talking.

Entire Cast:

11. Hey, where'd the town go?

10. I don't think roses are supposed to grow this color…

9. Isn't incest illegal?

8. Look, it's the Akio-Car! I can't wait to go for a ride!

7. What does a chicken have to do with the revolution anyway?

6. (referring to the sword-in-chest) Is that natural?

5. (referring to the sword-in-chest) Does that hurt?

4. (referring to the arena) You do know this is architecturally impossible…

3. Where does this French music come from anyway?

2. Screw the duels- let's go to McDonalds!

1. All Hail Akio!

Tenjou Utena:

11. Akio, go to Hell.

10. Let's have undergraduate strip night!

9. Does this dress make me look fat?

8. Oh, Juri…

7. Why do I always wear these red shorts? They, like, so totally clash.

6. (referring to slapping Anthy) Hey, this is fun!

5. Seitokaichou, how may I service you today?

4. Anthy, will you marry me?

3. I want my mommy…

2. It's been business doing pleasure with you.

1. Akio, shut up, turn around, and bend over.

Himemiya Anthy:

11. Oh, oniisama...

10. Hit me, baby, -- one more time.

9. Y'know, these animals are dirty. We should just put them all to sleep.

8. Let's party!

7. Let's shower!

6. I wanna' be first! Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick me!

5. Life is like a rose bush- you gotta' avoid the pricks.

4. Eat shit and die.

3. You killed Utena! You bastards!

2. Mouse- the other white meat.

1. No.

Kiryuu Touga:

11. I don't WANT to be the president anymore.

10. Will you marry me?

9. Not tonight. I don't feel like it…

8. I'm afraid of heights!

7. Is this the only outfit I have?

6. Elevators make me sick…

5. Ever think about college?

4. I wish I had a brother.

3. I think I need to loose five pounds.

2. These pants are too tight!

1. Hey, wait a minute - you do know I'm a guy, right?

Kyouichi Saionji:

11. (referring to Kendo) Let's get new uniforms.

10. No, Utena. You can keep the sword, really!

9. Let's be friends.

8. Can't we all just get along?

7. Power schmower.

6. What about my feelings? I have them too, y'know.

5. I think this relationship's getting dull.

4. Do I look good in this dress?

3. C'mon Touga - once more for old times sake.

2. I'm sorry.

1. … please?

Arisugawa Juri:

11. Let's go to Church!

10. Shiori? Who's she?

9. Another Duel? I'm tired…

8. Home is where you hang your wig.

7. (singing) It's a small world after all…

6. *giggle* Teehee…

5. Smile! God loves you.

4. I'm sorry, sensei! I'm sorry! I'll do anything you say! Really!

3. Anybody wanna have a Touga party?

2. Did you know… that under my clothes… I'm naked?

1. Hey, Miki. Wanna go off in the bushes and have mad, passionate sex?

Kaoru Miki:

11. Kozue, grow up!

10. Oh, Kozue...

9. Oh, yes, baby, you've lit the fire in MY pants.

8. I was wrong! It's not the Shinning Thing I want! It's the dull, dark, opaque thing that lies in the damp musty corner!

7. Somebody pass me that PlayBoy.

6. You %^%$! $^%& @^$&*^ ^%^*% ^%$@#*$# ^%$*^($! And NO! I'm not &%^!# sorry!

5. Screw the Sunlit Garden. From now on, it's nothing but Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

4. (singing) Macho, macho, man…

3. Hey! Look at me! I'm a Smurf!

2. I've been violated! But damn, I LIKED it.

1. If you get fucking cut by this, you can't fucking treat the wounds, it gets fucking infected, and you fucking die.

Shinohara Wakaba:

11. Life's just not worth living anymore…

10. Saionji-sama, kiss my ass.

9. Screw the Onion Prince! I want a princess! Oh, Nanami…

8. If a snake bit me in the ass, would you suck the poison out?

7. I'm going to become a cloistered nun and take a vow of silence.

6. I love calculus! It's so easy!

5. Damn I'm sexy.

4. This sucks.

3. Get away from me! I'm just not a touchie-feelie person!

2. Personal space! Personal space!

1. Go away, and leave me ALONE!

Chuchu:

11. Baa.

10. Neigh.

9. Oink.

8. Quack.

7. Moo.

6. Ping.

5. Kerpow! Kerplooie! Kerplunk!

4. Shit.

3. Lipton rabbits.

2. What AM I?

1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Ohtori Akio:

11. I'm starting a non-profit organization.

10. I'm feeling as horny as a dirty old man… Kanae, c'mere.

9. I'm afraid of the dark.

8. That's immoral.

7. Let's wait.

6. You're way too young!

5. I've decided to become a monk.

4. Is the car supposed to make that noise?

3. Let's trade in the Car for a Volvo.

2. Let's be platonic.

1. (singing) I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, that's what I truly want to be-e-e, and if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everybody would love me-EEEE!

And now, other fun lists!

How would the cast of Utena phrase the sentence, "Give me that flower?"
By: Keely

To all bowlers, fear: The Akio-Pin
By: Meioh no Miko

To all musicians, fear: The Ohtori Marching Band
By: Shelley