Well, I could give you a bunch of long winded commentary... or you could just read the little mother instead.
********************
Beginning transmission...
MiSTing #5
MiSTed Fic: The Escape
MiSTer Status: Wacky Wacky Funtime! Yaaaay!
********************
The New, Improved, Season 1.5 theme song!
In the not-too-distant future
But not too close at hand
An author got her just desserts
By her own merry band!
She played the Mad and sent a lot of crap
To her characters she'd put into her trap
But their evil clones came from another place
And in a fit of inspiration they propelled her into space!
[Bodger: D'OH!]
[Others: Serves ya right!]
Dark Kirin: We'll send them awful fiction
And other Usenet waste! (La la la)
It's only really fitting
That she finally gets a taste! (La la la)
But Bodger doesn't worry much,
In fact it's all just fine (La la la)
Because her friends can MiST for her
Since they're all of the same mind!
S.I. Role Call!
Bodger! (Who's Richard Basehart?)
Kirin! (Reports of my self-insertion have been greatly exaggerated.)
Alexis! (Someone's got to keep em in line...)
Crow 2! (Not my fault!)
Hibiiiiichi! (Eh, it's not so bad...)
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other logic facts (La la la)
Remember they're all fictional (All: HEY!)
So sit back and relax
For Mystery Avatar Theater, 3000! *thunk*
SoA
Kirin: Hi folks, welcome to the Satellite of Avatars. Well, things are a little... strange at the moment. Bodger's up here now -- got booted up by, of all people, US. Or rather, parallel universe versions of us. It's all very weird.
To make matters worse, they seem to have disabled the teleporter device. So now, rather than going back to our worlds whenever we please like in the past, we're all quite stuck. Even Bodger had the decency to let us back every so often.
We've been trying to find a niche for her. She gave a shot at MiSTing -- some damn idiotic SPAM the Mads sent up. Problem was that since we're all technically avatars, she didn't have a thing to say.
So now she's our Gypsy. She doesn't have the same obsession over Richard Basehart as Gypsy does, but we did spot her carrying in a whole bunch of posters of Squall Leonheart... I wonder if that means anything.
Bodger: (OS) It DOESN'T!
Kirin: (Not believing her) Suuure it doesn't!
Bodger: (OS) Shaddap.
Kirin: Well, at any rate we're here, and she's here, and we're gonna have to cope the best we can, really -- especially since the Lemon filter is ineffectual now. I wonder how we're gonna do...
[Hibichi and Crow 2 suddenly bounce by on Pogo sticks.]
Hibichi: Bet I can do it faster!
Crow 2: HA! Nobody does it faster than a robot!
[They go off-camera. Loud crash.]
Kirin: I think we'll be just fine...
[He rushes off camera as commercial sign flashes.]
(You'd like an original commercial, wouldn't you? Well, tough. It's the same damn ads they play over and over on Sci-Fi.)
--- End Commercial ---
SoA
[Hibichi and Crow 2 both have bandages around their personages. A
couple of broken pogo sticks can be seen in the background. Alexis is
examining the pogo sticks.]
Kirin: Well, boys and bots, what have we learned from all this?
Crow 2: (thinks for a minute) Not much, really.
Kirin: Nothing at all?
Hibichi: I've learned not to lean so hard into the pogo stick.
Crow 2: Well... I suppose I've learned to watch out for Bodger's SCATTERED PAPERBACK NOVELS the next time we do that...
Bodger: (OS) Bite me!
[Kirin shakes his head.]
Crow 2: Well doc? How are they?
Alexis: I'm afraid these pogo sticks will never be bounced again.
Crow 2: NOOOOOOOOO!!! [sobs]
Hibichi: There there, Crow 2, they served us well. Just think that they died for their cause.
Kirin: You're all freaks. And speaking of which, Pinky, the Brain and Elmyra are calling.
[He pushes the message light.]
Castle Flipside
D.Kirin: Ah, if it isn't the Goodfeathers. I hope things are going
poorly, Toe-rag?
SoA
Castle Flipside
D. Kirin: (sweatdrops) Yes, well it's all in the good cause of
insulting you, of course.
D. Alexis: (muffled) You said it, Toe-rag.
D. Kirin: Shaddap!
SoA
Alexis: (muttering) Dysfunctional doesn't even BEGIN to describe that
lot...
Kirin: And I suppose you've already thought up some diabolical scheme
to take over the world, hmm?
Castle Flipside
D. Kirin: Well, it's still in the works, but rest assured the world
will be bowing at our feet in no time!
D. Alexis: There! Let's see if this works...
[A laser shoots out and hits D. Hibichi.]
D. Hibichi: Ack! [Collapses]
D. Alexis: Hmm... the aiming mechanism is off. Let's see if... THIS
works!
[Another laser hits D. Hibichi just as he's getting up.]
D. Hibichi: Aagh! [Collapses again]
D. Alexis: I think it's still got problems.
D. Hibichi: (woozily) Yeah. Problems. THAT'S all it is...
D. Kirin: (Shakes his head) You just can't get good help these
days... Well, my lovely victims, your source of pain today comes from
a person of whom Weird is her last name! It's called "The Escape" and
it's a crossover between Gargoyles and Animaniacs.
SoA
Crow 2: What's her middle name?
Castle Flipside
D. Kirin: Uh... "the," I think. Anyway, enjoy! And I only mean that
sarcastically of course.
[He sends the fic]
SoA
Kirin: (muttering) Well, that goes without saying...
Alexis: YAAAAAH! FANFIC SIGN!
[Pandemonium as they enter the theater.]
[Door Sequence!:
Alexis: I don't believe this...
The Escape; by Kiki the Weird
Kirin: Uh oh, Kiki's escaped again.
Description: Dr Scratch-N-Sniff leaves the studio to take the less stressful job of being New York City
Crow 2: It seemed like a better option than being Phoenix or
Washington DC.
a certain police station's departmental p-psychiatrist. But what happens afterward is really
Alexis: Inane.
wacky!
Alexis: I was gonna say that next.
(Animaniacs/Gargoyles crossover)
Hibichi: The Gargoyle brothers were locked away in a clock tower never
to be released! It continued to this very day, when the Gargoyles
escaped!
Boy did I screw up! I sent the wrong version to the page. That was my rough draft and here's the finished copy!
Kirin: Who's gonna be able to tell the difference?
Hi I'm back! The person from the audience who just made the wisecrack, "She's back like the bubonic plague," will be shot.
Alexis: Did any of you make that crack?
Don't worry I'll find you.
Kirin: I wasn't even aware that we were lost.
I'll warn you right here. Most of my stories are mostly weird, funny, and/or crossovers. If anyone has any objections to this then TOUGH! I'm not forcing you to read this but
Crow 2: Somebody else is.
I'd like you to and to
Alexis: Make four?
send me feedback. This story is unauthorized and Gargoyles characters belong to Disney and Animaniacs
Alexis: Gee, Disney's formed a joint venture with the Animaniacs.
characters belong to Warner Brothers. And all of the characters, in cameos and such, belong to their creators and owners I have no
Crow 2: (singing) o/~ Bananas today! o/~
right to them, but they're fun to use. There is a little nudity but it's
Hibichi: Fun, so bite me.
for art's sake and it is G rated nudity, you'll see.
Kirin: Exactly what IS G-rated nudity?
Please send feedback!
Alexis: (Yakko) Aaaaaah... no.
And yes, I am a Star Trek: TNG fan and there are a few jokes in this story
Kirin: (author) Are you shocked?
that are funny
Alexis: (author) But most are not.
if you're a TNG fan too. And there are a few inside
Crow 2: The clock tower! Let's see if you can spot them.
jokes but don't worry about them.
Kirin: Now those are famous last words if I ever heard them.
"The Escape" by Kiki the Weird
Alexis: Didn't we just see this bit?
Elisa drank her third cup of coffee.
Kirin: (Elisa) NoI'mnotdrinkingtoomuchcoffeewhydoyouask?
'I could be home in bed,' she thought, 'but Chavez has to make us come in for the day to have a shrink tell us if we're crazy or not.'
Alexis: (Elisa) I mean, I already KNOW I'm crazy!
She waited for five minutes and just when her patience was at an end,
Kirin: Chavez came out and told them the psychiatrist had never
arrived.
Matt emerged from the office. "Well, what happened?" she demanded.
Alexis: (Matt) Oh Elisa, we had such a break through! It seems my
obsession with the Illuminati all has something to do with my sister
getting abducted by aliens.
He looked at her with a strange look on his face and shook his head,
Crow 2: Then put it back on when he was satisfied his brain was still
in there.
"I'll warn you now, don't talk to Mr. Puppethead." With that Matt walked away leaving Elisa totally confused.
Kirin: Which wasn't' surprising, really.
But she went to the office anyway. She paused at the door and then knocked.
Crow 2: (Scratch-n-Sniff) Go away! I'm on ze loo!
"Come in!" chimed a strange voice with a heavy German accent. She opened the door and went inside.
Kirin: (B&B Owner) And this is another one of our residents, Mr.
Hilter.
Inside there was a bald elderly man sitting at desk in an ordinary
Alexis: Room in an ordinary station in an ordinary city.
office. "Come sit down," he invited and then asked, "What is your name?" He seemed nice enough so Elisa sat down and said, "My name is detective Elisa Maza
Kirin: (Scratch-n-Sniff) What... is your quest?
and yours is?"
Hibichi: Princess Angelina Cantessa Louisa Francesca Banana-fanna-fo-
fesca, the Third.
"I am Dr. Scratch-N-Sniff. I called you in so I can get to know
Crow 2: (Scratch-n-Sniff) -- you better. But seriously, why are we
meeting in here? I know a lovely cafe just down the block...
all of the police officers here." They chatted for awhile and learned
Alexis: That they were actually brother and sister seperated at
birth.
Hibichi: (Elisa) Ohhhh, so you've got strange fantasy creatures
following you around too!
Elisa told him many things but not about the clan.
Kirin: Well, most people KNOW about the clan anyway.
'How do I tell him that I'm in love with a seven foot tall lavender gargoyle,' she thought,
Alexis: Try sign language.
'He is a nice guy but a little goofy and,
Hibichi: But Goofy is a Disney creation!
for some odd reason, nervous.' His nervousness unnerved her which made her
Alexis: Nerves stand on end as her nervousness was amplified by his
nervousness at her being nervous.
police intuition tell her that he was hiding something.
Kirin: (Elisa) What's that behind your back?
They talked for a few minutes longer until they were interrupted
Crow 2: By the next cop coming in for his appointment.
by the door bursting open.
Hibichi: KABOOM!
There was an explosion. The room quickly filled
Alexis: With soap suds. They'd put too much soap in the washing
machine again.
with smoke blinding both the Doctor and Elisa. The smoke smelled strange.
Hibichi: (Elisa) All right, who ripped one?
As Elisa grew more and more dizzy she figured it out.
Kirin: (Elisa) I've got it! The meaning of life!
"Knockout gas!" she cried out as she fell to the floor.
Kirin: THAT'S the meaning of life? I'm disappointed.
Elisa struggled but her
Hibichi: Jeans refused to slip over her hips.
world grew black.
Kirin: You know, if you just washed your world a little more, the
mildew wouldn't build up like that.
Elisa was first to regain consciousness and Dr. Scratch-N- Sniff
Alexis: Kept sleeping. He seemed to be muttering something about "ze
Warner kidzes..."
came to, a few minutes later. They were in a cage in some sort of a lab. Elisa leaned with her back on the iron bars, thinking.
Crow 2: (Elisa) Now these are reeeally nice iron bars! I mean, you
just don't get them like these anymore...
A few minutes later, she felt something jab her back.
Hibichi: (Dr. Scratch-n-Sniff) En guarde!
She looked over and saw a look of terror on the Doctor's face. Elisa turned around.
Kirin: (Scratch-n-Sniff) NOOOOOO! NOT YOU KIDZES AGAIN!
There was Demona, in her human form, holding in her right hand a laser
Crow 2: Pointer, which she was obnoxiously using to blind the two.
gun and in her left a bubbling evil green potion in a flask.
Kirin: Sounds like elfin alcohol...
"This time I have succeeded in finding a way to destroy
Crow 2: (Demona) -- that nasty odor you get after smokers have been in
your house!
humanity, Detective Maza. This potion will be put into the city water
Alexis: (Elisa) Ha ha ha, I see a flaw in your plan already!
NOBODY'S dumb enough to drink the water in New York!
system and will turn humans into cockroaches. Then I can squash humans like the bugs they are."
Kirin: I don't think Demona's quite taken into account the pure
psychological effect of one point five million cockroaches swarming
the city at once.
Demona began to laugh maniacally
All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
but stopped quickly.
All: *hack, cough*
"Will you stop pushing?" The voice, which sounded vaguely like Ringo Star, came from Demona's gun.
Alexis: It's not so bad when you talk to your gun, but you should
really worry when it starts talking back.
And then another young male, but American sounding, voice answered it,
Crow 2: (American voice) Oh be quiet! We saved your butts in World
War II!
"Well, you're the one who's taking up all of room! You shouldn't have had those fourteen pizzas, last night."
Alexis: (British voice) I agree... urk!
"Somebody call Richard Simmons, NOT!" That third voice sounded
Crow 2: Like she was in the mood to start a flame war with Richard
Simmons?
like the voice of a little girl.
Kirin: Little did they realize it was actually a forty year old man,
but I think we can forgive them just this once.
Demona was now totally confused.
All: No surprises there.
She took the gun and looked down the barrel.
Kirin: But she accidentally pulled the trigger and zapped herself in
the head, the end.
There was no one there. "What?" she asked.
Alexis: We didn't say anything! Geez, don't be so defensive!
And then two "things" jumped out of the gun, kissed Demona, and
Crow 2: Were immediately ripped to shreds.
yelled, "HELLO NURSE!" Demona threw them and the gun across the room,
Kirin: Got down on the ground and threw a temper tantrum.
"Never do that to me again!" she screamed.
Hibichi: Although it was secretly reverse psychology.
Out of the gun, tooshie first, wiggled a third female "thing".
Hibichi: There's a million things that could be done with that
statement, but I think I'll just let it speak for itself.
She looked at the other two males and said,
Alexis: (Dot) Yep. Still higher on the evolutionary chain.
"Boys! go fig." Elisa could hardly describe the "things except that they were black puppy children with white faces, feet, and hands.
Kirin: Well, that'll do, I suppose.
They had ears and tails like dogs and red bulb noses.
Hibichi: The unholy offspring of Rudolph and Goofy.
They then introduced themselves. "I'm Yakko," he was the tallest who wore brown pants with a black belt with a gold buckle.
Alexis: Oh, I'm sure there's been taller people to wear that ensemble.
"I'm Wakko,"
Crow 2: The author's self-inserting herself?
he had the Ringo Star accent and wore a blue sweatshirt and an oversized red baseball cap backwards.
Alexis: Ringo Starr: When attempts to be inconspicuous go horribly
awry.
"I'm Dot," she wore a pink skirt and a flower barrette held her ears
Crow 2: Hostage!
together.
"We're the Warner Brothers," the boys chorused.
Kirin: Well why not? They sing all the time in the cartoon.
"And the Warner Sister," added Dot.
Crow 2: (Dot) So us three, plus the scantily clad red-head over
there, the pretty detective woman in the cage and Scratchy add up
to... darn, I could REALLY use a calculator for this...
Elisa, shocked, looked to see if the Doctor was OK.
Kirin: Turned out he was Mountain Dew instead.
He was in the fetal position, crying "Oh no!" over and over again.
Crow 2: He was suffering from flashbacks from the war again.
But Elisa was to shocked by these odd children so she focused
Kirin: ...aimed, and fired.
her attention on the Warners. They were looking around the lab.
Crow 2: Watch out! Dr. Forrester's behind you with a frying pan!
Wakko was looking into a cauldron filled with some orange goo.
Alexis: (Husband) Honey, you left the orange juice out too long
again!
He pulled a bag of potato chips from out of his shirt and began to eat.
Kirin: (Wakko) Ah, nothing like the taste of sweat.
As he was munching on some potato chips, he was dropping crumbs into the cauldron. "NO!" Demona screamed.
Crow 2: (Demona) Oh, now my casserole is simply RUINED! Boo hoo
hoo...
She reached the cauldron just in enough time for a foul smelling smoke to blow up into her face.
Kirin: Unfortunately, it was acidic, causing her face to melt off.
The end.
Demona's face was slightly green as she began to scream at
Alexis: The little pink elephants dancing around her. What DID she
put in that, anyway?
Wakko. After a few minutes of her tirade, Wakko tugged at her
Hibichi: Saaaay...
loincloth
Crow 2 & Hibichi: Saaaaaaay...
and asked, "Excuse me, can I have some of your soda? The chips made me thirsty."
Kirin: (Demona) No way! You'll just get discharge into it! Ugh,
gross.
She handed him the green potion with a malicious smile upon her face.
Crow 2: (Demona) Heh heh heh... he's going to get the bubbles up his
nose!
"Thanks!" he said and chugged the potion.
Alexis: Isn't that kind of ruining her own plot?
Demona watched anxiously as Wakko's face changed
Hibichi: Into Pauly Shore's.
colors and then...he let out the loudest belch that Elisa had ever
Hibichi: Felt?
heard!
Hibichi: Well, she probably felt it as well.
He was even louder than Broadway.
Alexis: Huh. Louder than Broadway? No appreciation for musical
theater.
The room shook and bottles and other things fell off their shelves.
Hibichi: (singing) o/~ Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-
nine bottles of beer, You knock them down with a real big sound, NO
bottles of beer on the wall! o/~
The earth shook with a force that would measure a 9.0 on the Richter Scale,
All: (singing) o/~ A quake, a quake, the house begins to shake! You're
bouncing on the floor and watching all your dishes break! o/~
causing Demona, Elisa and the Doctor to fall to the ground. Finally after the room settled down,
Kirin: They tucked it in for the night and read it a bedtime story.
Wakko was bowing and saying "Excuse me,"over and over again, while Yakko and Dot clapped and threw roses.
Alexis: How... provocative?
Demona got to her feet and started to scream at Yakko, "You insignificant fools! Don't you know who I am?"
Kirin: You're... pissed?
"No but if you hum a few bars, I can fake it."
Alexis: (Dot) Where's the Visine when you need it?
She batted her eyelashes, "I'm the cute one," she said.
Kirin: (Demona) Well, I can change THAT in a hurry...
Demona groaned.
Crow 2: (Demona) Oh, my indigestion!
Dot rolled her eyes and walked away, swishing her toosh.
Alexis: "Swishing her toosh?"
"Eeehhh. She's just jealous, sister sib. Besides you should know by now that the anime eyes never work on the truly annoying."
Crow 2: And yet sometimes the truly annoying get them. How ironic is
that?
After his consoling advice Yakko patted Dot's back.
Kirin: Then he gave her the bill and all that advice went completely
to pot.
Demona began to pace back and forth. "Goliath must have sent you,"she growled.
Alexis: First class?
"No, and David didn't send me either."
Kirin: HA! Religious humor -- gotta love it.
The Warners were in all different positions:
Kirin: (Cutter John) Finally, gentlemen, what are your positions?
Yakko, who had made the comment, was naked except for a fig leaf and stood like a certain statue,
Alexis: There you go, Kirin, G-rated nudity.
Wakko was in the Thinker pose,
Kirin: Thinker pose?
and Dot wore a wig and was standing on a clamshell. A pale man with golden eyes wandered in and asked, "Didn't someone just mention data?"
Alexis: And there's Star Trek humor.
Yakko shook his head and said, "Oh boy they are really getting anal
Hibichi: Heh.
with the cameos." He turned to his sister, "I never knew that you were a Trekkie."
Crow 2: (singing) o/~ She never told me she was Trekkie, oh no! o/~
Dot growled at her brother, "We can talk about that later!"
Kirin: She's a mother who's all FOR drunk driving, damn it!
She looked around trying to find anyway to escape.
Alexis: If you find it, could you tell us? We'd like to get out of
here too.
She found a door and opened it. Out of the door toddled a little redheaded boy with a round head, huge blue eyes, and a small body.
Hibichi: It's Chibi Matt! Kawaii!
He was wearing a shirt and shorts.
Crow 2: Ooh, that's really important to know!
He looked up and began to babble to Demona.
Hibichi: (Boy) Homina-homina-homina...
"OK. So one time Randy Beeman's family was having some fried chicken and Randy Beeman noticed that his piece tasted funny but he kept on eating it until he reached a tail. It turned out that it was a fried rat!
Alexis: Kentucky Fried Rat: Now in Lake Edna, and your neck of the
woods.
OK. Bye." And with that the little boy toddled out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Crow 2: Eenteresting... but STOOPEED!
After the boy left, Demona started to rant and rave, again.
Kirin: (Demona) Oh, that is IT! I'm sick and tired of this idiotic
role! I want my lawyer! The hell with the contract, I WANT OUT OF
THIS FANFIC!
Yakko looked at her and began to shake his head, "She's having another fit, talk about deja vu."
Alexis: Well, I don't see why, but okay.
Alexis: Well, I don't see why, but okay.
All of the sudden, there was a flash of bright light and a man
Kirin: ...somewhere, was abducted by aliens.
appeared. The Warners were the only ones not bothered by the man's appearance. The man leaned over to Yakko and asked,
Hibichi: What are you doing tonight? *WHACK!*
"Excuse me did you just say Deja..."
Kirin: ...dot Com? It's perfect for all your newsreader needs!
"NO!" Yakko quickly interrupted.
Crow 2: Rich creamy butter.
sarcasm. He then snapped his fingers and in a flash of light disappeared.
All: (monotone) Ha ha ha.
You see there's a Star Trek: TNG episode called Deja... Oh forget it!"
Alexis: We'd like to but we can't.
Wakko went over to Demona and started whispering in her ear.
Crow 2: (Wakko) 'allo, mon chere, shall I whisk you off to a night of
passion?
Demona pushed him away and yelled, "No!"
Crow 2: (Wakko) Well geez, babe, I was just asking! Don't blow an
artery or anything!
Wakko's eyes got big and teary, "BUT IT'S A POTTY EMERGENCY!"
Kirin: Tsk tsk tsk, somebody's got a "potty" mouth.
Demona smiled maliciously as an evil idea came to her head.
Alexis: (Demona) I'll buy out the Red Cross and take all the
donations for myself! The saps won't know what hit 'em.
She led him to a huge machine. She opened the door to a chamber and pushed him inside.
Crow 2: (Demona) Now you stay in there and think about your actions
until you're ready to apologize!
She bolted the door and threw a switch. The machine hummed to life.
All: Well THANKS for SHARING!
He then opened up a gray sack and pulled out a rolled-up picture of a door. He placed the picture on the wall and grabbed the handle.
Crow 2 & Hibichi: AHEM.
To Elisa's and Demona's surprise it opened.
Kirin: They could have sworn they'd locked it half-an-hour ago.
Out of the door tumbled many strange objects:
Crow 2: Ahem.
a bunch of clothing,
Crow 2: Demona's laundry.
several whoopie cushions,
Crow 2: Really breaks the ice at parties!
Jerry Lewis,
Crow 2: Several Frenchmen asking for autographs...
a statue of the young Elvis,
Crow 2: Even evil gargoyles can't resist the king!
a player piano,
Crow 2: Schroeder...
a cage with two small white mice,
Crow 2: A big fellow named Lenny...
a statue of the old Elvis(which landed on the mice, squashing them like pancakes),
Crow 2: (Elvis) Uh, thank you very much.
a copy of the movie "The Princess Bride",
Crow 2: For no obvious reason, other than the author likes the
movie...
a few Queen CDs,
Crow 2: Which is what all CDs eventually turn into after spending more
than four weeks in a car...
and Jimmy Hoffa, who saluted and walked away muttering, "I thought they'd never let me out."
Crow 2: And was promptly abducted by the CIA, who delivered him back
to the aliens. Thank you!
Wakko pushed most of the stuff back in, closed the door, ripped the picture off the wall and shoved it back into the sack.
Alexis: Wakko clearly follows the "half-assed job" concept of cleaning
up after himself.
Wakko began to rummage through his sack. Demona, seeing her opportunity, jumped to pounce on Wakko.
Hibichi: (Demona) GLOMP! *WHACK!*
Just as she was going to hit him, Wakko pulled out a big black circle.
Crow 2: Rattle rattle rattle...
He threw the circle over his shoulder,
Kirin: Thank you.
it landed on the floor and became a hole, which Demona fell right through.
Alexis: I knew something bad was going to happen if they didn't fix
those holes in the plot...
Wakko, not seeing Demona's fall, continued to look through the sack.
Crow 2: (Wakko) I've got to stop packing such a big lunch!
Finally he pulled out another picture of a door and he stuck it
Hibichi: To 'em?
to the wall. As he was going to open the door, Yakko grabbed his shoulder, "eehh, Wakko," and gestured toward the hole.
Alexis: (Baby Plucky) Demona go down da hoooole.
Wakko grabbed the hole from the floor and stuck it to the ceiling.
Kirin: (Yakko) We do ceilings, ceilings and only ceilings! We don't
do floors 'cause they're beneath us.
Dot walked over to Demona, "It's all right! All you need is
Crow 2: (singing) ~Love, babe, love is all you need!~
a makeover." Dot began to run around Demona, applying make-up and such, with such speed that she created a tornado around Demona.
Alexis: And a little woman on a bicycle could be seen, and a little
country house.
When Dot was finished, she stepped back and said, "Not bad if I do say so myself!" Demona was made-over to resemble Jessica Rabbit.
Guys: O_O Whoa-ho-ho.
"Hello Nurse!" the boys chorused. Demona angrily ripped off the outfit.
Crow 2 & Hibichi: *wolfwhistles*
[Author's Note: She had her loincloth outfit underneath. We'd never get THAT past the censors!]
Crow 2 & Hibichi: Awww...
Demona then went over to Yakko who was playing with her computer, "What are you doing?"
Hibichi: (Yakko) Playing Doom. What else is there to do with a
computer?
"Can you E-Mail Cindy Crawford from here," Yakko asked.
Kirin: That's washed_up_model@aol.com, for those who are interested.
"The last time you E-Mailed her she said she have you arrested for stalking," Dot retorted.
Alexis: Makes you wonder why Dr. Scratch-n-Sniff never thought of
that.
"Yeah, but she didn't mean it." Yakko whined. Suddenly, a blue-skinned teenager, with black hair that has a lightning bolt on each side, popped out of the computer.
Crow 2: AAH! It's the son of Dr. Forrester!
"Oh nutbunnies! Wrong place. Does anyone know how to get to Sparky's House of Live Bait and Pancakes?"
Alexis: See, now this is an instance where we pray that there's no
connection.
Wakko let out a scream, "NO MORE DUMB CAMEOS!" Wakko then smacked the boy back into the computer using a huge mallet.
Crow 2: (evilly) To continue, "hit" any key. Heh heh heh...
Unfortunately, the computer was left in ruins.
Kirin: Grecian or Egyptian?
"What do you want?" Demona sobbed, what little sanity she had was gone.
"All we want is Scratchy and his friend back," Yakko said.
Alexis: You'd be kinda hard pressed to call Itchy a friend...
"Take them! Just leave!"
[Groan of disappointment from the audience]
She pulled out, from nowhere, a pair of scissors.
Crow 2: Scissorsspace! From the makers of Hammerspace.
She walked over to the middle of the floor where a rope was tied to the floor and the other end up on the ceiling somewhere. She cut the rope and said, "Now we're done." And with that an anvil crashed on her head.
Kirin: Smashing her head in, leaving a mess of grey matter and --
Yakko shook his head, "I could see that one coming a mile away. Who's writing this anyway?"
Crow 2: That's kinda what we wanted to ask, except ours is "Why write
this anyway?"
[Author: I am]
Kirin: Hmm... Yakko is a very astute person.
[Author: Be quiet, you twit!]
Bodger: (OS) Welcome to my world, honey!
Elisa, who was totally in shock at this time, followed the Warners out of the building.
Alexis: Elisa has left the building.
* * *
Crow 2: Dot's still recovering from the anvil, I guess.
The next day Captain Chavez had a meeting with Elisa.
Hibichi: A "private" meeting, no doubt? *WHACK!*
"The Doctor quit. He said that the Warners needed him.
Kirin: It's always touching to see a man give up his duty for the sake
of love.
I assume he means the studio.
Kirin: Oh.
But before he left he told me that you should get a few days off for your mental health.
Crow 2: (Elisa) Well why didn't you give me that BEFORE I started
meeting gargoyles? Sheesh!
So you have a week's vacation, Maza. Have fun!" Elisa walked away with a smile on her face.
Hibichi: And a stirring in her -- *WHAAAAAAACCKKK!!!*
She had thought of telling the others but she doubted that they would believe her, that was the weirdest escape that she'd ever experienced.
Kirin: Title and author put into one neat sentence.
* * *
Crow 2: Come to Warner Brothers and meet the stars!
The Warners ran through the movie lot with Demona pursuing them. They go to the bottom of their Watertower and paused.
Alexis: And changed tenses, apparently.
Wakko went rummaging through his gray sack and pulled out three exoskeletal Steel Clan suits. The boys put theirs on but Dot shook her head. She pulled out of her skirt, a spray can.
Crow 2: See, somehow that comma just makes that whole sentence seem
smutty.
She whirled around the suit and when she stopped, the suit was pink and covered with bows and flowers.
Hibichi: New from Xanatos Enterprises: Steel Clan suits for women.
Step out for a night on the town -- literally!
Then, satisfied, Dot got into the suit and all three Warners flew to the top of the tower.
Kirin: (Mike Nelson) We'll let them fly free, as a sparrow into the
night!
Demona finally reached the tower. She tried to climb up after them but as she did a huge statue of Goliath fell on her, crushing her.
Crow 2: I guess you could say she was "crushed" by their relationship.
The Warners looked down at her, shrugged and went inside of the tower.
All: [Begin humming Animaniacs chase music]
The End
Alexis: (Yakko) Gooooood night everybody!
"The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author and have not been reviewed or approved by the university."
Crow 2: Disclaimer: (dis-clae-mer) 1.) A denial or renunciation, as of responsibility. 2.) A way of saving one's own ass.
[They exit the theater]
[Door Sequence: 1-2-3-4-5-6]
[Bodger is cleaning up several items that have fallen on the floor.
Kirin steps on one upon exiting the theater, slips and falls. Alexis
is right behind him.]
Alexis: Jeez! Kirin, are you all right?
Kirin: I think I slipped a disc!
Crow 2: Well, that's what happens when people don't clean up after
themselves. [glares at Bodger]
Bodger: Hey! What does it look like I'm doing now?!
Hibichi: Um, maybe we oughta do the C&C now. Kirin?
Kirin: *groans*
Hibichi: Uh, maybe not. Alexis?
Alexis: Hmm... well, it's kinda hard to judge a fic like this. It's
like those parodies on Animaniacs where they take a Disney cartoon and
piss about with it, you know? Only this time it's a real Disney
cartoon.
Crow 2: That's BUENA VISTA!
Alexis: Yeah, whatever. A little grammar clean up and you might have
something servicable.
Hibichi: Crow 2?
Crow 2: Leave out the Star Trek humor, PLEASE.
Hibichi: Yeah. Well, aside from the abominable crossover idea it
wasn't THAT terrible. But you can't take it seriously.
Kirin: Hello! Elf with potentially serious back injury here!
Bodger: Quit whining. The Mads are calling. How can we help you,
sirs?
Castle Flipside
D. Alexis: SIRS?!
D. Kirin: I'll just bet you were dying to use that, right?
SoA
Bodger: Well, the situation does kinda beg for it.
Castle Flipside
D. Alexis: I'm gonna kill her. I'm REALLY gonna kill her.
D. Kirin: Now now, Alexis, you and I both know that she's an SI. A
particularly poor one, but an SI nevertheless. That means that
killing her immediately brings about the wrath of the author. And we
wouldn't want that now, would we?
D. Alexis: rassinfrassinrassinfrassin...
D. Kirin: As for you, maybe you think you can just let your little
minions MiST for you, but just wait -- eventually you'll have to go in,
and that's when we'll break you like a twig! A TWIG! BWAHAHAHAHA!
[Author's note: Not bloody likely.]
D. Kirin: Spoilsport. Alexis, cut the connection.
D. Alexis: Why should I do it?
D. Kirin: (glaring ominously) Because I said so.
D. Alexis: (meekly) Duely noted.
--- FWOOSH! ---
END!!!
********************
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) by Best Brains Inc. All rights reserved.
All MSTers in this fic belong to me. Nyeah! (Well, Crow 2 is
borderline.)
"The Escape" is the property of Kiki the Weird. No offense is intended
by the MiSTing of this fic, no matter how many times the MiSTers come
dangerously close. (They get punished severely for that, trust me.)
All comments, criticisms and (hopefully few) flames can be sent to
bodger@homestead.com or thebadgers@uswest.net
Bodger's Notes:
Hmm... should I stop while I'm ahead? ...Naaaah. This is WAY
too much fun!
Well, Bodger's stuck there now. I'd also better be careful --
all this continuity is going to confuse the heck out of people. (On
the other hand... >:) )
Not much to say, really. There's a Good Omens reference in here.
It's a very funny book by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and I
strongly suggest reading it. Other than that, nothing. Oh well...
Revision notes: Changed a few of the dumber lines and trimmed the whole
thing down to fit screen size. Every little bit helps, donchya know.
Dot rolled her eyes and walked away, swishing her toosh.
Kirin: You realize, of course, that when you say that you're
essentially insulting yourself.
Door 6: It's a vault door, complete with combination lock.
Door 5: It's the water tower at Warner Brothers Studio! The Warners
burst out, leap out of the tower (as per the title sequence) and you
dash in.
Door 4: It's a castle drawbridge. You bribe the gargoyle at the gate
and he opens it up for you. (Kirin: Why do I have to pay for it?)
Door 3: It's a boulder. You shout, "Open Sesame!" and it moves aside
magically.
Door 2: A row of gargoyles. The sun sets, but rather than the
expected gargoyles the Warners burst out of the statues. After
several "HELLOOOOO NURSE!" comments for Alexis and a
"HELLOOOOO ELF!" for Kirin, you rush past to...
Door 1: It's an ordinary theater entrance.]
Kirin: I don't know, it was kinda flattering... in a weird sort of
way...
Alexis: I'll get the tranquilizer dart.
Kirin: Nope.
Crow 2: Uh-uh.
Hibichi: Didn't even cross my mind.
Kirin: Lay off.
Kirin: LAY OFF.
Crow 2: Oh you know, a little belly-button here, a little back
there...
Hibichi: Mostly it's naked cartoon characters, but seeing as they're
never anatomically correct anyway...
Kirin: Maybe it's a looped tape.
Crow 2: If it is, I may just shoot myself.
Alexis: Not that it'd make much of a difference to a robot...
Alexis: Murphy's Law in progress.
Alexis: Why are we making "Elisa is dumb" jokes?
Kirin: I dunno. It's fun, I guess.
Crow 2: (Elisa) Oh, you mean Hitl-
Hibichi: (Hitler) Nein! NEIN!
Kirin: Little did he know he was about to become the savior of the
universe!
Crow 2: (Elisa) I seek the grail.
Kirin: (Scratch-n-Sniff) What... is the capital of Assyria?
Crow 2: (Elisa) ...! I don't know that! YEEEEARRRGHH!!!
Alexis: ... *sigh*
Crow 2: You know, I still say that show went downhill the second it
switched to ABC.
Kirin: Well, that goes for just about every show, really.
Kirin: Well, so's Gargoyles.
Crow 2: No no no, they prefer to be referred to as Buena Vista.
Kirin: ... Whatever.
Alexis: (Scratch-n-Sniff) Oh, nossink! Nossink at all! And
certainly not an issue of Playboy, ah heh heh...
Crow 2: Katie, you really shouldn't over-react like this...
Hibichi: (Katie Ka-Boom) I AM NOT OVERREACTING!
Crow 2: (Scratch-n-Sniff) Sorry, sorry, my fault.
Alexis: 42?
Alexis: Nah, that's just what they say instead of "Eureka!" these
days.
Alexis: Don't even JOKE about that.
Others: Ewww...
Others: (Yakko, Wakko and Dot) HELLOOOOOOO DOCTOR SCRATCH-N-SNIFF!
Alexis: Is THAT why you brought so much whiskey on board the
Satellite?
Kirin: Ever tried elfin alcohol? You couldn't get drunk on that if
you were already tipsy!
Alexis: Then there's the reproduction rate...
Others: [shudder in horror]
Hibichi: (British voice) Well, WE saved your butts in World War III!
Crow 2: (American voice) Oh yeah...
Kirin: (American voice) NO! NOT IN HERE!
Hibichi: You think that one is getting old?
Alexis: Yeah, but what the heck.
Crow 2: (Yakko) Come on, you know you want it toots.
[Alexis hits them both.]
[Protests from the guys.]
Crow 2: Hey, a quotation mark got lost. Do you think we'll get a
reward if we bring it back?
Kirin: No, she's "Weird." This is "Wakko."
Crow 2: Couldn't have put it better myself. *snicker*
Kirin: (Barrette) If you do not give us the money in half an hour, we
permanently damage the ear drums!
Hibichi: You don't suppose this is along the same lines as Nuku Nuku's
ears leaving her head, do you?
Alexis: (singing) o/~ If a nickel is a nickel and a dime is a dime,
they'd sing another chorus but they haven't got the time! o/~
Alexis: Is THAT the best thing you could think of?
Kirin: Well YOU try it sometime!
Hibichi: KA-BONG!
Crow 2: D'oh!
Alexis: Remarkably immature of you, Kirin.
[He shrugs.]
Others: Aw, sick!
Kirin & Alexis: Knock it off.
Kirin: She's a petty, petty little woman.
Crow 2: AACCK! That's cruel even for Demona!
Crow 2: She was referring to the Gargoyle.
Alexis: Oh.
Kirin: (rolls eyes) Cute, kid.
Hibichi: (oblivious) Thanks!
Hibichi: I didn't know that Yakko and Dot were Tuxedo Kamen and Kunou
Kodachi in disguise.
Alexis: You're... a Disney character?
Crow 2: You're... voice-acted by Marina Sirtis?
Hibichi: You're... extremely high-strung?
Demona demanded, "What are you ?!?" Dot's eyes grew huge and wet.
Kirin: (Ben Stein) Dude.
Kirin: (Little kid) I losht a toosh today and I wash swishing it
around my moush!
Crow 2: This fanfic? Certainly not.
Alexis: (Opus) Positions? [Stands on head] How's this?
Crow 2: The Bloom County sketch, for anybody who cares to remember.
Alexis: [resumes normal position] That's difficult to do in a theater
seat...
Hibichi: Actually, I would think that'd depend on which statue it
was... *WHACK!*
Crow 2: "Out poops Sailor Mercury!"
Alexis: No no no, that's Thinker "prose."
Crow 2: Whoops. Sorry.
Dot grabbed him by the seat of his mustard and black one-piece suit, threw out of the lab and yelled after him, "No and you shouldn't be using contractions."
Kirin: Minimally.
Alexis: NO.
Demona had had enough of this maddness.
Kirin: After all, no shirt, no shorts, no service...
Alexis: It's a school boy in disturbingly short shorts! That must mean Prince of Space is coming to save us!
All: Yaaay!
Kirin: As if we don't talk about deja vu enough in this series.
[Pause]
Kirin: As if we don't talk about deja vu enough in this series.
Crow 2: Oh, THANK YOU. We REALLY needed that.
Alexis: Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully are getting on the case.
Alexis: Shameless plug alert!
"Sorry for the inconvenience." The man's voice dripped with
Alexis: I like a good home-style voice.
"I'm confused. Who was that?" asked Wakko
Dot rolled her eyes. "It was another Star Trek cameo and a dumb pun.
Kirin: VERY slight humor.
Crow 2: So when does she use the funny Star Trek jokes?
[Various objects are thrown at Kirin.]
The power grew until the door blew open. Wakko walked out unharmed. He told Demona, "I can't potty in there it's disgusting!"
Alexis: Yes...?
Crow 2 & Hibichi: Nothing.
Alexis: Good.
Alexis: Am I the only one who's noticed that Dr. Scratch-and-Sniff has utterly disappeared from this fanfic?
Kirin: Show off.
He looked at it, and shook his head.
Kirin: Nope, too small. Throw it back.
Demona fell out and crashed to the floor.
Kirin: Dot: Avon Lady Extraordinaire.
Alexis: It's hard being the strong one...
Kirin: *begins humming "The Stripper"*
Alexis: Now knock it off!
Alexis: HA!
Kirin: G-rated nudity only, please.
Kirin: Quit flaunting your MST3K knowledge already!
Hibichi: Yes, you too can eat worms at Sparky's House of Live Bait and
Pancakes!
Hibichi: (singing) o/~ They fight, and bite, and fight and bite and
fight! o/~
"Yakko turned to his siblings, "Well are we done yet?"
"Not yet," Dot answered.
Alexis: We get the picture, Kirin.
Hibichi: Unfortunately... urp!
Crow 2: Wait wait, the anvil crashed on Dot's head?
Alexis: (Dot) Ow. Note to self: watch aim.
"Don't give up your day job."
Alexis: Watch the author flames, Kirin.
"I know you are but what am I?" And with that Yakko went over and opened the cage door. [Author's Note: Leaving me to feel rotten. I just got insulted in my own story!]
Kirin: I really wish she wouldn't listen in on us.
Alexis: He LOVES his studio.
Alexis: Knock it off!
Kirin: Could we lay off the grammar riffs? We're almost finished.
Kirin: Oh come on, are your puns really any better than mine?
Kirin: He's been watching Dogma again, hasn't he?
Alexis: I don't know, I don't monitor his entertainment.