[They reenter the theater.]

Kirin: And here we go again.

------
/* Forest, near Narshe *\
The group composed of Edgar, Sabin, Terra, Locke and Sailor Venus left the Castle in the after-noon, to investigate the mystery of the smoke coming from the forest, near Narshe.

Hibichi: That lived in the house that Jack built.

At the forest entrance, 4 Chocobos arrived. One for each warrior, and one for Venus and Locke.

Crow 2: And the great cosmic force that is fate plays matchmaker again.
Hibichi: Just as long as Celes doesn't find out . . . oy . . .

Edgar : So here we are guys.

Alexis: [Edgar] But everywhere else we are girls. Isn't that strange?

Sabin : Did we really have to bring HER here?
Locke : Get over it Sabin!! She can fight too!! Without Celes, she'll be a great value to our team if we have to fight.

Kirin: [Locke] And, hopefully, there'll be less mess to clean up than usual.

Terra : That's right. You never know what mystery lies in this forest

Crow 2: Unless you're the Shadow, of course.

Venus : (Eyes in Stars) Ohhhhhh Thank you so much!! Thank you Thank you!!!
Sabin : But she's just a girl!!

Kirin: [Sabin] A little lonely, but they won't let her out late at night!

Locke : So what? Relm is also a little girl, and she can kick ass easily.
Sabin : ... Well... Hmm...

Hibichi: [Locke] But then again, it's Relm.
Alexis: Never speak ill of Relm, for she is a being of many game bugs.

Edgar : Finished yet? Let's get this over with.
With these words, the king and his friends entered the forest, where they encountered weak monsters. Edgar, Sabin, Locke and Terra were fighting them. Venus was standing in the back, not doing anything.

Kirin: [author] See . . . cause, cause the game only lets you use four characters, see, and I'm keepin' true to it.
Alexis: We get it, Kirin.
Crow 2: [Venus] You guys just keep it up. I'm gonna catch me a few z's.

Sabin : Scared a bit? That doesn't surprise me!! Those are weak monsters. Just imagine the bigger ones.
Locke : Sabin, Come on. Don't be so rough on her. I mean she just arrived here. How would you feel if you were teleported from another world here?
Sabin : I don't know, because that will never happen.

Hibichi: Mainly because he already IS here.
Kirin: Foreshadowing rears its ugly head yet again.

Terra : All right already!! Can we concentrate on the matter at hands?

Alexis: [Sabin] Sorry, sorry. Cheese was it?
Crow 2: [Terra] Uh, no.
Alexis: [Sabin] Oh. Damn.

Edgar : Right!! We are almost there.
They were walking slowly, and were approaching the smoke spot. Terra didn't take any chances, and transformed into her Esper form, at the amazement of Venus.

Hibichi: And of the audience, who were aware of the fact that Terra could no LONGER transform into Esper form since they ALL DIED WHEN MAGIC DISAPPEARED . . . [begins smoking]
Kirin: Easy there . . .

Suddenly, a big growling filled the ears of the group. The ground was shaking, and trees were falling in front of them.

Hibichi: [Sailor Uranus] WORLD SHAKING!

Edgar : H... Hey!! What's happening here?
Locke : I don't know...
Venus : Is this normal?

Alexis: [Locke] Oh, quite normal, although not common. You see, there are times when the geothermic plates under the earth sort of collide with each other . . .

Sabin : What a stupid question!! Of course not!!
Some trees fell in front of them, and they could see the face of a enraged Brachiosaurus appear.
Locke : OH SHIT!!!! IT'S A BRACHIOSAURUS!!!!

Crow 2: OH CRAP! ANOTHER G-RATING GOES DOWN THE TOILET!
Alexis: That's "shit," as in what there is a current lack of, Mr. Holmes.
Hibichi: Buh?
Alexis: "No shit, Sherlock."
Hibichi: Oh.

Terra : What is it doing here?? They do not live near here!!
Edgar : We better get the hell out of here before he casts Ultima, and turns us into dust!!

Kirin: [Sailor Moon] Moondusted!
Hibichi: Don't. Just . . . don't.

Edgar, Sabin, Terra and Locke started running away from the berserk beast. Sailor Venus was standing there, looking at the beast, not moving.

Alexis: She must be caught in the headlights.
Crow 2: [Venus] Oooooh . . . *splat*

Terra : SAILOR VENUS!!
Sabin : Stupid girl!!!!

All: [in an odd accent] Stupid stupid girl!

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!!
Venus : (Lifting an hand) VENUS CRESCENT BEAM SMASH!!!!!!

Crow 2: She's going to pelt them with crescent rolls?
Hibichi: Darrr . . .

A gold beam form itself in front of her finger, and a beam emerged, heading right at the beast's head. The Brachiosaurus's head was heading right at Venus. The beam encountered the head in an explosion.

Alexis: [Head] Hi! You go to these things much? I don't care much for explosions myself, but this one was supposed to be hot!
Kirin: Don't make me get out the duct tape, Alexis.

When the smoke cleared, Venus was still standing, and the headless Brachiosaurus fell to the ground, lifeless...

Kirin: Damn. I was hoping for the decapitated chicken effect.
Hibichi: Okay, if she's that damn strong, why didn't she just blow away all the youmas she fought in the same way?

Sabin : (Jaw on the ground) WHAT THE??? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!
Locke : Hmm Edgar??
Edgar : Y... Y... Yes?
Locke : Have you ever seen someone destroying a Brachiosaurus... a Brachiosaurus I say, in one blow?

Crow 2: [Edgar] I should jolly well say not, old boy! That's a right puzzler there!

Edgar : No!!! That means she did about 50000 of Hit Points damage in one single shot...

Hibichi: [scathingly] Fascinating. Just fascinating. And just how exactly would you tally hit points in the real world? I'm dying to know.
Alexis: Geez, he's really starting to get sarcastic . . .
Kirin: Yes, but I think we have ourselves to blame for that.

Terra : Yeah, but that's impossible... Right?
Venus : Hey!! This little beast was scaring you? Hmm what's an Hit Point?

Crow 2: A really popular idea in a debate?
Alexis: Mmmm . . . no.

Terra : Venus!! How did you do that? An Hit Point is a system we use to mesure the degree of resistance of a monster. Like the Brachiosaurus here... We estimated it had about 46000 Hit Points. And you destroyed it in one single shot.
Venus : What does it mean?

Kirin: [Edgar] It means you done gone and blown its brains out.
Alexis: [Mina] Urrgh! Simplify, man!

Edgar : It means two things. That the Brachiosaurus was already wounded. But we can already reject that, because wounded Brachiosaurus will tend to hide, instead of destroying everything in it's path... So that leave us with the second answer : You're strong!

Crow 2: A winner is you!
Alexis: But is she Tom Strong?

Venus : I am?

Hibichi: [Mina] Well, that'll put a crimp in my feminine image.
Alexis: I'll give YOU a feminine image . . .
Hibichi: Okay, THAT one made sense.
Alexis: Good. *POW!*
Hibichi: Oww . . .

Sabin : Not even I can do that to a Brachiosaurus... And I'm one of the strongest guy in this world. I must admit my mistake. You ARE strong. I'm sorry about what I said earlier...
Venus : (Shaking hands) Hey, that's okay Sabin!

Crow 2: [Mina] You may be a barbaric, chauvinist idiot with the brains of a paramecium, but I forgive you!
Hibichi: [Sabin] Uh, thanks?

Terra : Yeah... Although I don't really understand, because the people in our group can hardly do 10000 HP of damage in one shot...
Locke : Well forget the numbers for now!! We'll have to find a way to rate her attack one day!!

Kirin: I gave it a 9.5 personally. Nice strength, but the execution was a bit lacking.
Alexis: No pun intended.

Edgar : (Smiling) Yeah. But for now, let's return to what's important. Let's look around here for that smoke.

Kirin: Odd, it shouldn't be that hard. I'd've imagined that acrid feeling in their lungs would be a pretty good clue they were getting close.

The group passed by the carcass of the headless Brachiosaurus. They were still amazed by this young girl with them. Finally, they reached the spot where the smoke was coming from.

Crow 2: And apparently it was Hibichi after reading this fic.
[Hibichi glares at Crow 2.]

Terra : What do we have here?
Locke : (Getting something in his hand) It looks like a black medallion, with a Chocobo on it.

Alexis: [Locke] Or it could be just a rock. My vision ain't too great without my glasses.

Venus : (Puzzled) What?? Another one?
Edgar : This doesn't help us much. It only adds another piece to the puzzle. But we solved another one... The smoke is gone now.

Crow 2: Oh, I get it now. The medallion was just taking a cigarette break! Oh, how silly.

Sabin : You're right Bro...
Venus : (Sitting on the ground) Will I ever be able to see my friends again one day?

Kirin: [Magic 8-Ball] Future uncertain. Try again.

Terra : (Sitting besides her) Mina... I mean Venus. Don't lose faith. I'm sure they are thinking about you right now. Like Locke is thinking of Celes... Look at his face!

Crow 2: [Terra] It's HIDEOUS!

Locke : (Blushing) What?? Hey!! How did you kn... Oh never mind!!
Terra : (Laughing) We'll find a way, don't worry.
Venus : (Smiling) Thank you Terra. Here, I found this near the beast... I wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

Alexis: [Venus] I think it's its small intestine. Pretty cool, eh?

Terra : What? WHAT?? AN ECONOMIZER!!!!!
Edgar : What?? Where??
Terra : In... In my hand!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AN ECONOMIZER!!!
Venus : What's an Economizer?

Kirin: Alan Greenspan?
Hibichi: You guys are doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Kirin: You're just now figuring that out?

Locke : Venus!! You're incredible!! To cast magic, we made a system called Magic Points!! The more powerful the spell you cast, the more Magic Points you lose, until you are too weak magically to cast anything.

Crow 2: Thank you for that marvelous explanation of the Final Fantasy magic system.
Hibichi: It's not so much a fanfic as an instruction manual.

The Economizer is a very rare item that permits to use only 1 Magic Point each time you cast a spell!! Even the most powerful ones! Only one had been discovered in the whole world!
Venus : (Puzzled) Hmm... Great!! I guess...
Sabin : Amazing... I can't believe it. Maybe we could use her powers to defeat powerful monsters, and get rich!!

Kirin: Oh, this fanfic is already rich. [rolls eyes]

Locke : (Eyes turning to dollar signs) Rich!!!

Crow 2: This guy must be related to that real estate agent from Sluggy Freelance, or something.

Terra : Hmm... I don't think so!! She already made enough, don't you think?
Sabin : But... But... Oh all right!!
Edgar : Let's head back to the castle. We'll discuss on the way there.
The group left the forest, still amazed by what they just lived.

Alexis: Well, today IS the first day of the rest of their lives.
Crow 2: But the most important thing is . . . they LIVED.
Kirin: I'd smash them for it, but that is kind of an odd error . . .

They rode their Chocobos all the way back to Figaro castle.

Alexis: o/~ Figa -- o/~ MMPH!
Hibichi: [covering Alexis's mouth] That's enough, I said!

------
/* Cherry Hill Temple *\
The girls were back at the Temple, a bit discouraged because, although they discovered more about the legend and the medallions, they didn't know what to do next.

Kirin: They should have just titled this fic "What to Do Next."

Raye : This is getting nowhere...
Amy : We know this black medallion has something to do with this mystery... But it's very tough to solve this riddle, when we don't even have the black medallion in our hands.

Alexis: o/~ They want the black medallion in their hands, they want the inky black medallion, in their hands . . . o/~

Lita : Celes, you never heard of this black medallion, did you?
Celes : Well, in a matter of fact, I think I did.
Serena : You did? Why didn't you tell us then?

Crow 2: [Celes] You never asked.

Celes : Because there was this monster to defeat. And I didn't have the time to say anything after. You were too busy talking.

Kirin: [making talking hand motion] Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!

Raye : Well tell us then!!
Celes : Chill out Raye!!

Hibichi: Ah ha ha ha! Oh, that's funny! Cause ya know, Rei controls fire, and they told her to chill out, and . . .
Alexis: I think the fic is eating away his mind.

It's an old fairy tale my mother used to tell me, before I was raised in the Empire.

Hibichi: So what, she told it to her in the womb? SHE WAS ALWAYS RAISED IN THE EMPIRE!!!
Kirin: Here kid, have a sedative.
[Hibichi takes it and pops it in his mouth.]

I don't know if it's true though. As you know, I told you what Chocobos were. My mother once told me that somewhere in my world was living a Black Chocobo. This Chocobo could fly in the skies at high speed.

Crow 2: [Celes] Unfortunately, flying bird was no match for airship propeller. Yeeech.

But one day, this Chocobo encountered a flying monster so strong, that it was killed in a battle. It fell to the ground. The spirit of this Chocobo was strong though,

Alexis: [Yoda] The spirit is strong within this one!

and it sealed his spirit into a tiny black coin, which could possibly be this black medallion. It is said that the Chocobo will re-awaken... But I can't remember when...

Kirin: Well, first you have to get the revival song from the frogs, and then you have to get the power glove from level 6 . . . whoops, wrong video game.
Crow 2: AHA! FANBOY! So your true colors finally show, eh?
Kirin: Shaaaadap!

Amy : So if I understood correctly, there's a spirit living inside the black medallion?

Crow 2: Christmas past, present or future?
Hibichi: I thought the Spirit lived in a cemetary.
Alexis: If you get that one, folks, you read too many comics. Good for you!

Celes : Right... But even with the knowledge of this tale, it doesn't say how they will be able to find this medallion. My world is very big, and if that medallion exists, it could be anywhere, in a monster like the fire medallion, or at the bottom of the sea, or deep into the ground...

Alexis: Or sitting in Mina's hand, or smoking quietly in the forest in Narshe . . .
Crow 2: Or the victim of yet another plot contrivance . . .

Serena : Well, I have faith in Mina. I'm sure she wants to come back here. So if we trust in her, I'm sure she will find a way back to us.
Celes : I told you she was a great leader. Thinking of others first, that's the characteristic of a great leader Serena.

Hibichi: Too bad she lacks all of the other ones.

Lita : She is a bit flaky, but she's solid when it counts, right Raye?
Raye : Of course (Winks)

Hibichi: *ahem* . . . *ahem* . . . *AHEM* . . . [turns red]
Alexis: Gee, faced with the perfect opportunity and he blanks out. That's gotta be tough on a Crow riffer.

Serena : (Blushing) Well... I love my friends... They mean a lot to me...

Hibichi: oooh . . . [nosebleed, passes out]
Kirin: I think that's officially the first time I've seen that gag.

The 4 girls laughed. Celes was in the back, smiling a bit.

Kirin: [Celes] They are SO dying tonight.

Amy : Hmm... Well, I hate to say this... But I think Serena is right. The only thing we can really do is pray for her return. And of course, the return of Celes too.

Crow 2: Return of Celes! Third in the trilogy behind Celes Wars and The Kefka Strikes Back!

Celes : Thanks! Not that I don't like you, but I want to return one day too.
Raye : We'll find a way Celes... We always do.

Kirin: [Raye] Although usually it requires pulling over and asking for directions . . .

Lita : In the meantime, can you explain to us how you defeated that creature? That was amazing!
Celes : No, it was nothing Lita. I mean, I just got my Atma Weapon out, and sliced the beast. It was like knife going through butter.

Alexis: Says Confucius.

Amy : This Atma Weapon seems like a nice weapon. I see it has his normal size again. Yesterday, when you received Jupiter's attack, it seemed to have shrunk a little.

Crow 2: [Celes] Hey, it was cold out! *WHACK!*

Celes : Wow, you're really observant Amy. Yes, the Atma Weapon works with my energy. If I'm wounded or anything, well it shrinks, and has less power in it. Since I had all my energy again from the sleep, it was all powerful again, and that's probably why that monster was so easy to defeat.

Crow 2: Smutty . . . opportunity . . . overload . . . too many . . . phallic . . . images . . .*FZZZT!* [shorts out.]
Kirin: DAMMIT! He shorted out!
Alexis: Hmm . . . hey Bodger! Get in here!
[Bodger enters the theater]
Bodger: Yeah? What do you want? [Looks at Crow 2] What happened to him?
Kirin: Five words: Suggestive prose and Sailor Scouts.
Bodger: Oh brother. I'll fix him up in a jiffy.
[She picks up Crow 2 and carries him out.]
Alexis: At least we're not going to get any more "Atma Weapon as a Sign of Manhood" jokes -- which, by the way, I blame you for.
Kirin: Hey, if I hadn't thought of it, he would've. [nudges Hibichi, who is still unconscious]

Raye : Well... That was great stuff. Usually, big monsters are not easy to defeat like that.
Serena : Yeah!! You're really strong Celes.
Celes : (Winks) You've got that right girl.
Lita : I wonder if she's stronger than me...
Amy : That's a good question Lita.

Kirin: *sigh* Mental note: no more reading MiSTings from the Sailor Moon Hentai section at SVAM.
Alexis: Probably for the best.

Celes : You think you're stronger than me Lita? Let's find out!! Are you good at arm wrestling?
Lita : You bet I am!!

Alexis: [Celes] Good. Arm wrestle Serena. I'll start taking bets.

The two girls sat in front of each other. Celes was looking directly in the green eyes of Lita. She was doing the same thing, looking Celes in the eyes.

Kirin: As previously implied.

Celes : Ready?
Lita : Yeah!
Serena : All right! 1... 2... 3... GO!

Alexis: [Serena] . . . PHER! Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'll try that again. 1 2 3 GOLDFISH! Hee hee! Okay, okay! One more time. 123 GHOSTBUSTERS! Heh heh . . . OW!

It took a fraction of second for Celes to win the match. Lita hold her hand in pain, not believing what just happened to her.

Kirin: It had snapped off.
Alexis: Eww . . .

Lita : Ouch!! That's impossible!! She's so strong...
Raye : Did you see that Amy? She beat Lita like nothing.
Amy : It's amazing... She has such strength.
Celes : (Smiling) Want to try again?
Lita : Yeah!! You won't get me twice!!

[Hibichi giggles.]
Kirin: I think he's coming out of it.
Alexis: Damn. And it was so clean up to this point.

They took each other's hand again. Lita knew she had no chances, but she wanted to try again.
Celes : Ready?
Lita : Yes...
Serena : All right!! 1... 2... 3...

Alexis: [Serena] 3 . . . 3 . . . darn, I always get stuck there . . .

While Serena was talking, Amy and Raye were looking at the hands of the two girls, and Lita had her eyes closed, to get the maximum concentration. In a fraction of second, a red light engulfed Celes, and she was gone, leaving her place for another person.

Kirin: She was very thoughtful that way.
Alexis: Was that Lita's ki attack? Remind me not to get on her bad side.
[Hibichi stirs.]
Hibichi: heh . . . what'd I miss?
Kirin: Crow 2 shorted out from too many smutty possibilities.
Hibichi: What?! And I missed it?! Why didn't you wake me up?
Alexis: [under her breath] Gee, I wonder . . .

------
/* Figaro Castle *\
The group was back at the castle. Edgar was observing the black medallion in his hand. Sabin was taking a nap in his room. Terra and Locke were with Edgar, trying to solve this mystery, and Mina was observing the sky...

Alexis: She was convinced she saw Lucy up there with diamonds.

Locke : I'm getting tired...
Terra : That medallion has to have a use of some sort.
Edgar : Of course... But what?

Kirin: I reckon cleaning windows.
Alexis: Medallions! They're fun and handy too!

Locke : Look at Mina... She seems so sad. She's a nice girl though. I hope we can return her to her world.
Edgar : Yeah... Poor girl. Must not be easy for her.

Kirin: [Edgar] Blowing away large monsters in a single shot, having tons of potential male suitors flirting with her . . . rough life.

Terra : Hmm... But wait a minute. She does have the first medallion around her neck does she? Maybe we have to do something with it.

Alexis: [Terra] I hear we can get 4000 gold pieces for it down at Percys in Jidoor.

Edgar : Yeah... But she seems down a bit... Maybe it's better if we wait...
Terra : I think the faster we solve this mystery, the faster she'll be happy again.

Hibichi: [Terra] She's not ALLOWED to be happy 'till we solve this mystery!

Locke : Terra's right.
Edgar : Okay. Maybe you want to talk to her Terra... I mean...
Terra : (Smiling) Sure! After all, she needs help from the feminine side.

Alexis: [Terra] Since her masculine side seems to be so damned inscrutable . . .

Locke : And what does that means?
Terra didn't say anything. She turned her head and smiled at Locke.

Hibichi: WHOA!
Kirin: He's going to need a cold shower before this is over.

Edgar gave her the medallion. She walked slowly in the direction of a thoughtful Mina.

Alexis: Walking away from a thoughtless Mina and an apathetic Mina.
Kirin: It's Millions of Minas, by Boyce.

Terra : Hey Mina... How are you?
Mina : Oh Terra! I'm okay...
Terra : That doesn't seem like it... You miss your world, your friends, don't you?

Hibichi: [Mina] Hell no! I love it here!

Mina : Of course. But the thing running in my head is will I ever be able to see them again? Will I ever able to eat some of Lita's cooking, get advice from Amy, hear Raye argue, and see the smile of Serena?

Kirin: Oh great, another mushy part. You guys will tell me when it's over, right? [covers eyes]
Alexis: [grinning sadistically] Oh, of course . . .

Terra : Mina...

Alexis: It's over.
Kirin: Really? Already? [Takes hands off eyes]

Mina turned herself, and hugged Terra as hard as she could. She was the person Mina had the most confidence in this world, because she always supported her since she got here.

Kirin: . . . I hate you, you know that?
Alexis: Nya ha ha...

A tear fell from one of her eye. Terra didn't do nothing, and hug her back.

Hibichi: [Terra] I didn't do nuttin'! Honest!
Alexis: Terra as a gangster moll.

Locke and Edgar were looking at the scene in the back, speechless.

Kirin: [Locke & Edgar] Ewwwww . . .

Terra : Mina, we thought maybe your medallion could help us solve this mystery...
Mina : My medallion?
Terra : Yes... The snow medallion you have. Maybe if we join them together...
Mina : It's worth to try.
Terra was walking back, holding Mina with one arm. They joined with Edgar and Locke again.

Hibichi: Ohhhh . . . [begins to sob.]
Alexis: Eh?
Hibichi: Too much! There's just too many opportunities here!
Alexis: . . . I REALLY don't see it.
Kirin: Most people don't. Oh well, let's break again.
[They exit the theater with Hibichi in tow.]

[Theater sequence: 1-2-3-4-5-6]

[Cambot is on.]

[Kirin is looking at a chart and frowning. Alexis enters. The sound of a shower can be heard in the background.]

Alexis: Bad news: the perv's gonna be out for awhile. It's gonna just be the two of us in the theater for a bit. [She notices the chart] What's that?

Kirin: Ratings.

Alexis: Rate -- oh no, this doesn't have anything to do with that rant two parts ago, does it?

Kirin: No it doesn't, and thank you very much for blowing down what remaining fourth wall we have left.

Alexis: So what's up, then?

Kirin: Well, we're doing all right in some respects, but if we want the prestige of more high quality series, we're going to have to pull a few stunts.

Alexis: But we shouldn't have to do that in the old MiSTs!

Kirin: There, I just heard the other walls fall down too. Thanks, Alexis.

Alexis: Sorr-y! So what do we need to do then?

Kirin: Hmm . . Bodger's got a list here. Lessee . . . [He flips a page.] How about a special guest?

[Without warning, Ying from MST4K pops into the background and looks around in confusion. Neither Kirin nor Alexis notice.]

Alexis: Not this close to the end of the fic.

[Ying promptly disappears.]

Kirin: Maybe later, then. How about more scantily clad women?

[Alexis's clothes suddenly change into a small bikini. She doesn't notice.]

Alexis: Over my dead body. Say, do you feel a draft?

[Her clothes change back to the sweater-slacks and longcoat combo.]

Kirin: Nuts. How about a plot twist?

[Bodger runs around in the background, shouting, "Crow 2's fallen down the old well!" A dog runs with her back off-stage.]

Alexis: Like we don't have enough of those.

Kirin: Guess it's the old fall-back, then.

Alexis: Gratuitous violence?

Kirin: Yep.

[The two get into a knock-down, straight-out fight. Eventually, Alexis drops Kirin with an elbow to the back of the neck and roars triumphantly.]

Kirin: [woozily, from the ground] I can feel the ratings soaring already . . .

Alexis: Well, if nothing else, we can rely on revenue from commercials . . .
 

End Part 4

***************************************

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) by Best Brains Inc. All rights reserved.
Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei (and unfortunately DiC, or at least if everything I've read is true...).
Final Fantasy VI is the property of Hironobu Sakaguchi and the folks at Square, eternal creator of RPGs.
All MSTers in this fic belong to me, although Crow 2 is borderline. That's right, MiSTers. Mads too. Anybody else is probably NOT mine.
Ying is property of Darth Kirby. I'm just borrowing him for a bit. Hope you don't mind. Read his stuff too!
Blonde Exchange is the property of Boyce. No offense to the author is intended by this MiSTing.
All comments, criticisms and (hopefully few) flames can be sent to bodgerkirin@hotmail.com

Trimmed for the reader's convenience.