Now we should inform you before we start that in this review, Crow 2 will be replacing Hibichi. Say hi, Crow 2.
Crow 2: Bite me.
Alexis: *sigh* Shouldn't have expected anything different, I guess. Well, here direct from the MiSTing was our comments. Or rather, Kirin's rant:
>"Well, so long to all that!" Crow 2 exclaimed
exuberantly. And now if you don't mind,
>I think I'll just head back to stasis and --"
>"Hang on, we've still got the C&C
to do!" Alexis interuppted.
>"Oh. How geeky."
>"Don't gripe. So what'd you think,
Kirin?"
>"Do you really want to know?" asked Kirin
dubiously.
>"Of course!" Alexis replied.
>"Okay, here goes..." He took a deep breath.
"There was no continuity, the Ash and
>Misty romantic bits were cliched, the battles
were non-existent, the dialogue was cheesy,
>the humor was slight, characters appeared and
disappeared at random and with little or no
>point, and most of all the crossover concept
was ridiculous!" He gasped for air.
>"Too true. Crow 2?"
>"Uh, what he said."
>Alexis nodded. "So we agree.
There's no hope for this one."
Now, are you going to be all right, Kirin?
Kirin: Don't worry about me... I'm calm... I'm cool... I'm... oh the hell with it. This fic stunk. I'm sorry, Three Dragons, I know you probably poured your heart into it, but it stunk big time. For a start, there was NO PLOT. Correction: There was a string of events which masquaraded as a plot. But there was no character development, no major plot points, no NOTHING. This fic is like a layer of cellaphane, it is THAT EMPTY. It had the most contrived crossover idea we've seen yet, the most non-dynamic battle sequences EVER, and it throws in random characters just so it can shout, "Hey everybody! I've played these games and I know who the characters are!" I think the only characters who actually serve a purpose in this fic are Ash and Zelda, and even their presence is dubious at best. And what the hell was the point of the Ash and Misty romance?! It just sat there, and any flow the fic MIGHT have had was slowed down by those interjections! It doesn't even GO anywhere! No kiss, no declaration of love, NOTHING! This entire fic is one long escalator to nowhere! *pant pant pant...*
Alexis: Finished?
Kirin: Yeah, I think so.
Alexis: Okay. Well, I will grudgingly admit that there were few misspells in this fic. The grammer, however, is another matter altogether. This fic was juvenile in its writing style; almost more so than Nuku Nuku and the Werecabbit. And then there were some parts where the grammer lost it altogether. (You want the juiciest example, just look at the stinger in the MiST.) It also employs the horrible practice of mixing prose and script. Now, we admit we tend to do that too. But whereas we alternate between the two, this particular mixture mixes the two simultaneously. It's lazy. Either stick to prose, stick to script, or include a few action sequences with your dialogue. Because without it, this fic has no substance. Now, Crow 2?
Crow 2: Do I have to?
Alexis: Yes.
Crow 2: Fine. Okay, characterisation. Very, VERY miniscule. Ash as a superstud? I mean, come on! Do you really expect us to believe that NOBODY is going to recognize Ash just because he has a few words on his shirt? Cliches were tossed around in hopes that they would let people tell the characters apart, but to no avail. There is no real interaction, no real emotions, no nothing. And then there are the characters who appear out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly! I mean, WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT OF THEM BEING THERE IF THEY AREN'T GOING TO ADVANCE THE PLOT?! And why would Oak ask these kids to go on a dangerous mission when he's only supposed to be their mentor?! And why the hell did Gary and Mary come along?! And what about --
Alexis: Easy, easy there, botboy. You're straying into Kirin's category.
Crow 2: Sorry, sorry. That fic is burned into my memory banks for all eternity...
Alexis: I think that goes for all of us, Crow 2. The scores for Legend of the Triforce are:
Story:
1
Language:
4
Characterization:
4
Depth:
1
Overall:
2.5. Pointless, contrived, useless characters, no action, no plot.
Now
before you jump down my throat over this justifying yourself, I offer you
this little disclaimer: THIS IS JUST OUR OPINIONS. It's not
gospel fact, it's just some friendly advice. Hell, for all we know
this is the fanfic equivalent of Moby Dick and we just can't comprehend
this. But, and bear in mind this is just my opinion, I severely doubt
it.
Now we were originally scheduled to review Baka-Con next, but the Great
One tells us that some complicated issues means that Baka-Con and all other
fics by Freon are on hold for a while. So join us next week when
we cover The Escape, by Kiki the Weird. See ya!