I apologize in advance for these.
Me and a few friends have written the following jokes which i felt needed to be shared with millions of websurfers.
writers of these jokes have asked to have their names withheld from this site. (wouldn't you?) for fear of losing jobs, friends, family and self respect.
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what kind of shoes do asian cows wear?
-moo-shoes
what type of crow sings, plays guitar, but dosn't fly?
-sheryl crow
what is a dry cleaners favorite band?
-staind
what is a raver ants favorite drug?
-ant acid
what is someone that sells fake ecstasy?
-ex-con
what kind of shelter does an italian make on a deserted island?
-pizza hut
what kind of food rings?
-taco bell
why are fish afraid of computers?
-the internet
what do you call a dramatic performance taking place in the winter?
-coldplay
what does the ice man superhero make when having sex?
-ice cream
What do you call a Vegan with the craps?
-a salad shooter What's an acid-junkie's soft drink of choice?
-Tab
What's an asthmatic's fave band?
-Weezer
Why shouldn't you invite Lars Ulrich to a chicken dinner?
-all he wants is the drumsticks
Where do rodents chill out?
- a mouse pad
What do computer geeks say when they want to keep something private?
-keep it on the down load
(ok, this one's heinous) How does a mexican magician perform tricks?
-by waving his magic juan
If Superman was part of the 'Bloods', what would his weakness be?
-crip-tonite
What's Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, and Dr. Dre's fave musical?
-West Siiiii-eeeed Story
What do you call a reggae musician with a body odor problem?
-Shabba Rank What do you call a clam that can rap?
-Wu Tang Clam
What's the name of Santa Claus' snooty niece who lives by the beach?
-Santa Barbara
What's a Nielsen family's fave meal?
-TV Dinners
What's a cow's fave piece of jewelry?
-a Moo-d ring
What's Fabio's least fave band?
-the Byrds
What's Jesus' fave singing duo?
-the Carpenters
What's the fave movie of cows?
--Moo-lan Rouge
What's a plumbers fave band? -TIE!!
-the Verve Pipe and N*SYNC
Why is it hard to get out of a conversation with a NRA member?
-they love shooting the breeze
What's a jockey's fave brand of shoe? -Pony
what table is not suitable for eating dinner off of?
-Turntable
what do most cows like to do on the weekend?
-go to the moo-vies
why did one cow yell at the other for just saying hi?
-the cow was in a a bad moo'd
what do you call bird poop on your computer screen?
-moni-turd
