my hands hold,
with or without

hush moon,
don't sing sad melodies tonight,
i get lost in the noise,
in the vagueness that you offer.
a tug of nostalgia at my heart,
i want to forgive him,
even for something so massive as
loving me too much,
so much
that his hurt is like a bitter disease i cannot live without.
addicted to the way he fumbles for sense,
running fingertips through his ebony hair,
as if to say, ' come closer, i need you closer'
and i always do because i am proudly a fool,
for a man who loves and walks away,
leash in hand as if to say.....

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Editor's Note



an eve of extinction

my tongue is too big for my mouth and i suffer from lock-jaw.
the words have been nurtured, like seeds matured and ready for harvesting.
they've rooted themselves in my stomach and now they've outgrown their pot.
they flutter around inside of me searching for more space, driving upwards tickling my throat making me uneasy with nerves too numb to vomit.
i swallow, forcing them back into their damnation, for i too am damned and need companionship.

' don't tell me how to feel'
you've taught me so well to hate, such a beautiful mind to waste.

in cluttered fields of trash-talking thought patterns, ariel view from my eye's scope because i am so far up here and these meanings are so far beneath me.

my heart has wintered some, it's grown weary and destitute.

do you love me anyways? in-spite of my dark sighs? and oh God! how i love it when you cry, the sky opens up, a looking glass reveals the hours of our death sentence when these our the nights of our lives.

you are my only redeeming quality, that i need you and i lack nothing.
that i love you though i am lightless.

and all these knotted words, so sick to go unsung,
so diseased to be unspoken, lay limp and on the verge
just as i.

Due to her mother's failing health, Amberlee Carter quit school at 13. Three years later her mother passed away and then her father became ill. During the first years she spent with her mother, writing became a comfort and poetry an addiction. She's now 22 and has every intention of returning to school. Her work has appeared in Thunder Sandwich, Unlikely Stories, Scrivener's Pen Literary Journal, Megaera, New Horizon e-mag, and The TMP Irregular as well as two anthologies of world poetry and also the Seasons4Writing newsletter.

Copyright 2004, Amberlee Carter. This work is protected under the U.S. copyright laws. It may not be reproduced, reprinted, reused, or altered without the expressed written permission of the author.