Testimonies
My name is Margo griffin, I'm 38 yrs old. I'd like to share a little of what the Lord has done in my life. I was abused from the age of 3. I've been sad and depressed my whole life, my entire life has been spent looking for true love, just someone who would really love me, instead I found men who abused me in every way imaginable. I had MPD with over 100 personalities. Some of which were very destructive and suicidal. Some cut me and burned me. Some were very sexual. Not only did I have female personalities but male ones too. From ages 3 -38. I was raised in the holiness church, so I had always heard of Jesus, I prayed many times but always went back to the same behaviors as before. Nothing ever lasted. Even though i truly wanted to be free from my torment. But at the same time i was scared. Nothing I did helped. The years passed by and I just got worse and worse. I truly didn't think I would ever change, I thought I would be that way for the rest of my life,but I was scared to go to hell, ( if there really was one) I was scared to take that chance, or I would have already been dead, but I had even attempted suicide many times in my life, because at the lowest of lowest times, I didn't even care if there was a hell.I was doing bad things on the net , with many diff guys. The more I did, the worse I felt... but I couldn't stop, I needed that attention and attention I got, but not the right kind.. it was also a kind of abuse. I went in a room in paltalk one day and I met a christian man, he had such a nice spirit about him. So I stayed and I listened more. I went back more and more, he talked to me privately also. He told me I need Jesus, and Jesus can set me free. I had heard that so many times I felt numb inside, I didn't feel anything, I certainly didn't feel 'Jesus' I had even started to wonder if there really was a 'Jesus'. On march 15, 2003 I told this man, 'if I knew for sure Jesus was really real, then maybe I could change.' and I really meant that. I went to bed and the next morning I got up and got online. I was talking to a different guy I always did bad things with,even to the point I was seriously thinking about moving to australia to be with him. For the first time I felt something was wrong while typing to this person. I felt an urgency to stop,but of course I didn't. I kept on and on. Then I felt it again, but this time, it was much stronger.So strong I felt really sick. Right then I shut my comp off, and went and sat down. Then, I call it a 'vision' it was like I had died and went to hell.I was looking up into heaven, I seen the images of God and of Jesus's backs to me and I was told it was over...God would never hear my prayer again, nor my cries no matter how loud I cried or prayed, nothing I could do would ever help me. I felt what it is like to be separated from God. There are no words on earth ever created, nor will be that can describe the feeling. It was the most horrible feeling there is.I don't know how long I was there, but I do know one thing, all the pain and hurt I had been through in my entire life,all put together, was nothing to the couple minutes I was in hell.None at all!!!! !!!!!!!! You cant imagine the terror,unless you have experienced it. it was so bad i thought I may have heart failure or I was going to pass out.I got up and tried to shake it off.... I started saying JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS,JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, I don't know how many times I screamed out to the Lord, but many.I begged the Lord to give me one more chance. I begged Him from my heart.I had never been so scared in all my life!!! it took 2 days to start to feel ok again. I prayed and prayed, then I realized, I had been set free from my MPD. I was whole! no longer did I have a desire for all the men. no longer did I have a desire to sin. I had been Set Free!!!!!!! I started thanking the Lord, over and over again. I had spent most of the last 2 yrs in my bedroom, I rarely left it unless I went to the doctor, but that week I started spending less time online, and started going in the living room, and going places.To this day, I'm serving the Lord, and He is making me stronger and stronger each day, Praise His Holy Name.. \o/ I was given a warning, and I took it very serious, and the main thing I learned is, JESUS IS REAL, GOD IS REAL, hell is real,,,, and its not about me and my feelings, its all about Jesus!!!!!!!!!! for the rest of my life, I shall serve the Lord with all that I have in me!!! !!!!! and I will warn all that will listen and take heed.... Jesus is coming soon,,, No sin is going to enter into His kingdom!!! Amen!